This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

The tattoo parlour in my town is offering a free tattoo if you go in and flash your boobs.

It’s a Tit for Tat special.

Yesterday I went to temporary tattoo parlour and got a tattoo.

But It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.

Once I went to a tattoo Parlour that said temporary tattoo Parlour.

So, I got one tattoo.
The next day it didn't go when I washed it.
When I went to the tattoo Parlour again, that the tattoo wasn't temporary after all, the shop wasn't there.

Joe and Bob are sitting outside a cafe enjoying a couple cigars when a young boy walks out of the ice cream parlour right next door.

Joe says "see that kid over there, dumbest kid I ever met, watch this...." and he calls the kid over.

Joe puts 50 cents in one of his hands, and a dollar bill in the other and holds them both out to the boy. Joe says "which do you want, 50 cents, or a dollar?" The boy quickly snatches up the ...

A man has been found dead at the pizza parlour

He was covered in ham, pineapple, onions, mushrooms, bell pepper, ground beef, pepperoni and four cheeses.

Police are saying he topped himself.

I went for a pamper day at a massage parlour, and got treated like a princess

I even got a happy ending

I went to a German massage parlour earlier

Whole experience was pretty hans on

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A woman walks into an ice cream parlour

A woman walks into an ice cream parlour and askes for a scoop of chocolate ice cream. "Im sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream" "Ok. Then I guess I'll have a pint of chocolate ice cream." "Sorry. But we dont have any more chocolate ice cream." "Alright. Then can I have a quart of choco...

An Ice cream parlour was broken into near me

Apparently they made off with Hundreds and thousands

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself cautiously, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

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A man walks into a tattoo parlour and asks for a one hundred dollar bill tattooed onto his penis.

Shocked and disgusted the artist asks why?
The man goes β€œwell, I have three reasons,
One, I like to play with my money,
Two, I like to watch my money grow,
And three, next time my wife wants to go out and blow my money, she can stay home instead.

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A boy walks into an ice-cream parlour.

The cashier says "Hello! What can I get you?"

The boy replies "Ummm...may I please have some Jelly Tip?"

"I'm sorry, but we ran out of Jelly Tip. Is there something else you would like? Maybe chocolate?" responds the cashier.

"No thanks. Could I have some Jelly Tip?" replies the...

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What do you get when you have rough sex in an ice cream parlour?

A sore bae.

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Bill is sitting in the ladies beauty parlour waiting area....

A pretty woman came to him, pressed his shoulders gently & said: come let's go.

Bro Bill looked left & right, started sweating a bit & anticipating dire consequences said: I am married & waiting for my wife.

Lady: look carefully, it is me!

My friend used to strip to pay the bills.

But she put in the hours, saved up and bought her own Massage Parlour.

Don't you just love a story with a happy ending?

What do you call a group of zombies in a funeral parlour?

Repeat customers.

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A Man Goes to a Tattoo Parlour

and asks the tattooist to tattoo $100 on his penis. The tattooist says sure and starts the tattoo. When he is just about finished he says to the man "I'm curious why did you want $100 tattooed on your knob?"
The man replies the he has three reasons
1. I like to keep a hold of my money
2. I ...

One day, Mike went to get a tattoo.

The owner was outside and new guy at the parlour was Chinese.

Since he had always wanted to get a Chinese tattoo, Mike asked the new guy to do one for him on his arm.

To break the ice, the new guy said, "I'll tell you a joke".

They conversed a lot and got the tattoo done.

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An English couple have a child

After the birth, medical tests reveal that the child is normal, apart from the fact that it is German. This, however, should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about. As the child grows older, it dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but all its basic functions develop norma...

A penguin was driving through Vegas

...when suddenly his car stopped working, so he had it towed to the nearest mechanic.

When he got there, the mechanic told him it could take an hour or two to find out what is wrong with his car. The penguin was getting hot, so he asked the mechanic where he could cool down.

The me...

So a penguin is driving down the road..

.. When his car starts to make funny noises. The penguin gets a little worried, and decides to go to the nearest mechanic. He sees the auto-shop just down the road, and pulls into the garage. He asks the mechanic to check his car out and the mechanic says "Sure, come back in half an hour or so." So ...

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