This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

The tattoo parlour in my town is offering free tattoos to anyone willing to flash their boobs.

It’s a tit for tat offer.

I went to a German massage parlour earlier

Whole experience was pretty hans on

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour and got a tatoo

But it wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the parlour was gone.

An Ice cream parlour was broken into near me

Apparently they made off with Hundreds and thousands

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A woman walks into an ice cream parlour

A woman walks into an ice cream parlour and askes for a scoop of chocolate ice cream. "Im sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream" "Ok. Then I guess I'll have a pint of chocolate ice cream." "Sorry. But we dont have any more chocolate ice cream." "Alright. Then can I have a quart of choco...

One day, Mike went to get a tattoo.

The owner was outside and new guy at the parlour was Chinese.

Since he had always wanted to get a Chinese tattoo, Mike asked the new guy to do one for him on his arm.

To break the ice, the new guy said, "I'll tell you a joke".

They conversed a lot and got the tattoo done.
<...

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself cautiously, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A man walks into a tattoo parlour and asks for a one hundred dollar bill tattooed onto his penis.

Shocked and disgusted the artist asks why?
The man goes β€œwell, I have three reasons,
One, I like to play with my money,
Two, I like to watch my money grow,
And three, next time my wife wants to go out and blow my money, she can stay home instead.

A penguin was driving through Vegas

...when suddenly his car stopped working, so he had it towed to the nearest mechanic.

When he got there, the mechanic told him it could take an hour or two to find out what is wrong with his car. The penguin was getting hot, so he asked the mechanic where he could cool down.

The me...

What do you call a group of zombies in a funeral parlour?

Repeat customers.

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A boy walks into an ice-cream parlour.

The cashier says "Hello! What can I get you?"

The boy replies "Ummm...may I please have some Jelly Tip?"

"I'm sorry, but we ran out of Jelly Tip. Is there something else you would like? Maybe chocolate?" responds the cashier.

"No thanks. Could I have some Jelly Tip?" replies the...

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Bill is sitting in the ladies beauty parlour waiting area....

A pretty woman came to him, pressed his shoulders gently & said: come let's go.

Bro Bill looked left & right, started sweating a bit & anticipating dire consequences said: I am married & waiting for my wife.

Lady: look carefully, it is me!

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An English couple have a child

After the birth, medical tests reveal that the child is normal, apart from the fact that it is German. This, however, should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about. As the child grows older, it dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but all its basic functions develop norma...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

What do you get when you have rough sex in an ice cream parlour?

A sore bae.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A Man Goes to a Tattoo Parlour

and asks the tattooist to tattoo $100 on his penis. The tattooist says sure and starts the tattoo. When he is just about finished he says to the man "I'm curious why did you want $100 tattooed on your knob?"
The man replies the he has three reasons
1. I like to keep a hold of my money
2. I ...

Pizza Time

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. The man then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6

So a penguin is driving down the road..

.. When his car starts to make funny noises. The penguin gets a little worried, and decides to go to the nearest mechanic. He sees the auto-shop just down the road, and pulls into the garage. He asks the mechanic to check his car out and the mechanic says "Sure, come back in half an hour or so." So ...

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