Floors take on so much responsibility...

It's like everything falls to them.

Countries take on attributes of their ruler

For example, there's a king on every kingdom, an emperor rules an empire, and Theresa May is causing mayhem.

What do you say when you don’t know the lyrics to a-ha’s “Take On Me”?

“I don’t know what I’m to say”

I'm writing a Bollywood take on a spy movie, about a taxi driver who's really an undercover agent.

His catchphrase is, "the name's Shaw - Rick Shaw".

Another take on an old joke: What are the 3 best things about Alzheimers?

1. Hiding your own Easter eggs;
2. Meeting new and interesting people every day, and
3. Hiding your own Easter eggs.

A New Take on a Classic Joke

The weather outside has been cold as the left side of a killer whale's behind recently, and I decided to buy myself a new jacket. So I went to the mall with a friend to see what jackets there were available.

Unfortunately for me, everyone else in the city had the same idea. We first went to N...

I was struggling trying to learn to play the song “Take On Me.” Then all of a sudden it clicked and I got it

It was a real Ah-Ha moment

I've never liked the guy who sang Take On Me...

He always seemed kind of sketchy.

Dad, what's your take on adoption?

Well... "son"...

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

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An infinite number of mathmaticians walk into a bar. (New take on old joke)

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know how dogs take on the personality of their owners?

Your dog is a dick.

A few years ago, I used to live next door to both Dwayne Johnson and the pop group that sang ‘Take On Me’.

I was stuck between a Rock and A-ha’s place.

Why did Professor X take on an insect as a student when it couldn't talk?

Because it was a mute ant.

So what's your take on abortion?

Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.

As I was walking along a city street, a man pulled a knife and tried to jump me. "I'll have you know, I've beaten off two men at once," I warned him. "I take on all comers!"

Anyway, we're dating now.

They say in order to help with bonding newborns take on characteristics of their fathers.

Sure enough, my son was born with large features, a furrowed brow, and complained about nerve damage from his knee surgery.

3 CIA Agents are Asked to Take on an Important Mission

Three CIA agents are asked to take on an important mission. They need to know that these spies will do whatever they say. So they capture each spies significant other, tie them up and prepare three guns, loaded with blanks.

They bring the first spy in, give him a gun a tell him his wife is in...

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Dirty take on an old classic

Patricia the prostitute was feeling down; she had recently been beaten by her pimp and was given a demeaning nickname from her peers because of it. Still, she had to work. Her pimp dropped her off at a client's house for their prearranged meeting. To her surprise, it was a dog that answered the door...

A German tank commander boasted "One Tiger can take on ten Shermans!"

And an American replied "Good thing we have eleven."

My dad's take on 35 years of marriage.

Me: "Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"

Dad: "Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."

Mom: "Awww!"

Dad: "...Underwater."

What do you take on a math camping trip?

2/10

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A unique take on fitness

There once was a man named James who was badly overweight. He tried everything he could: personal trainers, fad diets and the like but to no avail.

One day, he saw a tv commercial for a revolutionary way to lose weight, guaranteed to work after only 3 weeks or your money back! This was too ...

Two peanuts... (a new take on a classic)

Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley.

.


One was assaulted.


.


The other was a'roasted.

.

What a horrible friend. Getting baked?
A mugging is no time to smoke a joint.

A guy dies and goes to heaven

When he gets to the Pearly Gates St Peter is waiting for him St Peter says he's going to review his life and then decide if he's worthy to go into heaven. St Peter looks through the book of this man's life and says to the man" well you haven't really sinned but you haven't ever done anything worthw...

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Put to sleep

So this inquisitive pan-dimensional space monster is out on vacation and decides to check out this little dive bar on Earth (in Detroit) that had some decent reviews on Yelp.

In order to do so he had to first take on a suitable corporal form adhering to local biological esthetics and so he c...

Doctor prescribed me some antibiotics to start taking after my first dinner, I however took them before...

So I could take on the bacteria by surprise.

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A man see's a sign on a bar window "Win $1,000,000 - Details inside"

Curiosity peaked, he enters the bar and asks the bartender what's required to win the million.



"Ah, that?" The bartender casually replied, offering a challenging smirk. "It requires the completion of 3 tasks I believe to be impossible. It brought in a lot of business when I first put ...

A homeless man decides to rob a Russian restaurant.

Since it was so early, the only one that was working at that time was the scrawny waitor as the chef/boss had gone to run a quick errand. The homeless man, only waving his fists, threatened the waitor to give him his best food or "he would be in a world of hurt". Even though the waitor was as skinny...

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