The 33+ Best Take On Jokes

My Take on a Classic Joke:

One day, Kermit the Frog was a little short on cash, so he went to the bank to speak to a loan officer. When he got there, a woman extended her hand.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said. "My name is Patricia Wack. How may I help you today?"
Kermit replied, "Hi-ho, Patricia! I'm Kermit the F...

New take on an old saying: Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

Buy him a fish album, he will be gone all weekend - sometimes longer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My take on an old joke

A man walks into a castle to speak to the King.

"I wish to join your court, my liege." said the man

To which the king responded:

"You may join, but only if you complete these three tasks I give you."

The man, eager to join the court, carefully listens to the king's instru...

A German submarine is starting to take on water

A German submarine is starting to take on water. In desperation, they radio a nearby German base.

"Help us, ve are sinking, ve are sinking"

Just as they were about to fully sink, a reply came.

"Vhat are you sinking about?"

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

Is it just me, or does the hero of a-ha's Take On Me video...

...seem kinda sketchy?

My take on a classic.

Donald Trump visited a fortune teller one day. He walked in past all the mystic objects and sat down. The Teller read his palm, flipped her tarot cards, and stared into her crystal ball with a pensive look on her face. "What, what are you staring at?" The Donald asked with sweat on his brow.
<...

A new take on "Why was 6 afraid of 7"

Because 7 is a registered six offender

My boyfriend is kicking me out of his house for constantly singing lyrics from "Take on me"

He said he's giving me the weekend to move all my stuff out, and he asked me when I would be able to finally leave, so I replied with "I'll be gone in a day or two."

What road did Satan take on his road trip?

Route 666

I've never liked the guy who sang Take On Me...

He always seemed kind of sketchy.

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My take on a shaggy dog story

A man walks into a bar, orders a pint and sees a sign pinned up above the till - “talking cat, going cheap.”

He calls the barman over and asks him what the deal with the cat is and can he have a look at it. The man shrugs, goes into the back and returns with a mangy old Tom cat.

“Here ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandpa’s take on porn

While visiting his grandparents, a teen walks into the living room and sees that he’s grandpa is watching porn. Slightly shocked the grandson says “Grandpa, what are you doing?” Grandpa not in the least bit startled replies “watching history shows sonny” so the grandson realizing the old man’s mista...

What did the Hyena take on it's flight?

A Carrion Bag.

Countries take on attributes of their ruler

For example, there's a king on every kingdom, an emperor rules an empire, and Theresa May is causing mayhem.

What do you say when you don’t know the lyrics to a-ha’s “Take On Me”?

“I don’t know what I’m to say”

Floors take on so much responsibility...

It's like everything falls to them.

I'm writing a Bollywood take on a spy movie, about a taxi driver who's really an undercover agent.

His catchphrase is, "the name's Shaw - Rick Shaw".

[OC] I was already on stage when I realized Take On Me was a bad karaoke song for me to sing...

It was a real Aha moment.

A few years ago, I used to live next door to both Dwayne Johnson and the pop group that sang ‘Take On Me’.

I was stuck between a Rock and A-ha’s place.

So what's your take on abortion?

Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.

My dad's take on 35 years of marriage.

Me: "Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"

Dad: "Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."

Mom: "Awww!"

Dad: "...Underwater."

I was struggling trying to learn to play the song “Take On Me.” Then all of a sudden it clicked and I got it

It was a real Ah-Ha moment

Dad, what's your take on adoption?

Well... "son"...

A New Take on a Classic Joke

The weather outside has been cold as the left side of a killer whale's behind recently, and I decided to buy myself a new jacket. So I went to the mall with a friend to see what jackets there were available.

Unfortunately for me, everyone else in the city had the same idea. We first went to N...

What do you take on a math camping trip?

2/10

Why did Professor X take on an insect as a student when it couldn't talk?

Because it was a mute ant.

As I was walking along a city street, a man pulled a knife and tried to jump me. "I'll have you know, I've beaten off two men at once," I warned him. "I take on all comers!"

Anyway, we're dating now.

They say in order to help with bonding newborns take on characteristics of their fathers.

Sure enough, my son was born with large features, a furrowed brow, and complained about nerve damage from his knee surgery.

A German tank commander boasted "One Tiger can take on ten Shermans!"

And an American replied "Good thing we have eleven."

Two peanuts... (a new take on a classic)

Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley.

.

One was assaulted.

.

The other was a'roasted.

.

What a horrible friend. Getting baked?
A mugging is no time to smoke a joint.

Why did the investment not yield to maturity?

It wasn’t ready to take on adult responsibilities and the loss of innocence associated with it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a 5 gallon jug filled with $20 bills...

He sits at the bar and asks the bartender about it. The bartender replies,

"It's the $20 challenge. You put a $20 into the jar, complete a set of three challenges, and if you win you take home the entire jar!"

The man looked at it and asked what the challenges were, because that much m...

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