Stop Watch Jokes - 15 Hilarious Stop Watch Jokes

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Why did the robot stop watching ?

He lost his drive.

I can't stop watching movies with strong female leads

I'm a heroine addict

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Wife: (shouting) Stop watching ..

... I can hear it in the kitchen

Husband:I'm not, it's Sharapova vs Serena... I'm watching tennis

My girlfriend told me to stop watching Disney movies and be a man.

Does anyone know how to be swift as the coursing river?

My wife told me she would have left me if i didn’t stop watching shrek

At first i thought she was joking...
... But then i saw her face, and now i’m a believer

I had to stop watching An Inconvenient Truth after 20 minutes.

Can't stand movies with that much gore.

Parents: "You need to stop watching TV, and read more!"

Me: * turns on subtitles *

What kind of person can't stop watching 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?

A colorblind synaesthesiac listening to the radio

I just couldn't stop watching the video about mechanically joining metal...

It was riveting.

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A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey’s F-king cooking show!

Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING !!! YOU CAN’T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH DON’T YOU!!!

THE crowded restaurant had a sign reading

“Not Responsible for Personal Items”, so Larry kept checking on his belongings.

Finally his friend said, “Larry, you’re driving me nuts. Stop watching our coats.”

“I’m only watching mine,” Larry said. “Yours was stolen half an hour ago.”

I was watching a really good documentary about Quantum physics the other day

But I decided to stop watching in case I affected the outcome

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A father asks his 13year-old son what does he want to be when he grows up.

His son says "A pizza delivery guy or a plumber."

The dad says "Stop watching so much , son."

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A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers…

"My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightily over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"...

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What's the difference between a good and a bad ?

After about a minute i'll stop watching a good one.

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