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Scores Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man scores a hot date

Not wanting to disappoint his date in the bedroom, he goes to the doctor to get his penis enlarged.
The doctor says, "we happen to have a new experimental procedure that uses muscle cells from an elephant trunk that should do the trick." To which the man accepts.

Later on, the man and his...

What is it called what an old person scores 3 times in a row?

Jerry Hat Trick

A Duck scores lucky one night and takes his hot date to a posh hotel...

Realising his mistake early, he politely excuses himself momentarily - and dashes to the foyer, where he asks the manager to sell him a box of condoms.

"Certainly Sir, should I put them on your bill?"

"Don't be absurd" hastens the duck: "I'll suffocate!"

All these video games with epic orchestral music scores.

Those concerned mums were right, there's way too much violins in video games.

Three friends throw darts for high scores at a pub...

The first dude hits the 20 three times and calls: "SIXTY!"

The second one hits two darts in the 20 and one in the triple 20 and shouts: "ONE HUNDRED!"

When the third guy takes his turn, after throwing a 20 and a triple 20 the third dart deflects off the board and hits a nun sitting at ...

Underwater Test Scores

Father: How were your test scores, son?


Son: Underwater, Dad.


Father: What do you mean underwater?


Son: You know, below C level.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Roman kids are talking about the scores on their finals.

Kid 1: Ugh, what did you get bruh

Kid 2: Not bad. How bout you?

Kid 1: I got a C on it.

Kid 2: You fucking try hard!

I have an IQ of 180

I took the test 3 times and added up my scores

My girlfriend told me that she doesn't like that I'm keeping scores in our relationship.

She got a point

Why do we get such high scores in the reading test?

Because we Reddit

My dad asked me why my math scores were weak. I told him that I found myself caught in a love triangle.

He looked concerned, sat down with me and said, "You know you can tell me anything right? What's really going on?"

I replied "I don't know how to explain this to you but the four of us are in love... "

A father, finally exasperated looking at his son's failed test scores, shouted: " Son, if you fail your exams one more time today, don't you EVER call me your father again!!"

"Yes, father.", the son replied meekly.

After the exams, the son came home.

"How were the exams, son? Do you think you managed to pass this time?"

"NO PROBLEMO, DUDE!"

Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation...

yep, we're ranked 53rd.

What’s the difference between a golfer and an escort?

The golfer doesn’t worry about his glove ripping when he scores.

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