This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

Why is Dwarven music always so gloomy?

Everything is written in a miner key.

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music!

My parents never let me listen to classical or jazz music growing up.

Too much sax and violins.

One wind turbine turns to the other and says: what's your favourite genre of music?

The other wind turbine replies: I'm a big heavy metal fan.

A guy walks into a bar and hears incredible piano music

He looks over and notices that the pianist is only 12-inches tall, so he walks over to the bartender and asks him,

“Where did the owner find a 12-inch pianist?”

“He said that that man over there,” he points to a man in the corner of the bar, “that man can grant you like, one wish or so...

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I hate listening to music during sex...

There honestly aren't many good 30 second songs out there.

One day a horse is watching a music video [Long]

One day a horse is watching a music video and decides that he himself, wants to make a music video.

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In preparation, he goes to the phone book and looks up a local music teacher. He calls him up and says


"Hey, I saw that you teach musical instruments, and I rea...

Why was the music teacher arrested?

He fingered A Minor.

I wondered why music was coming from my printer earlier...

Apparently the paper was jamming.

After our radio station's accountant died in a parachuting accident, the program director told me to play some Tom Petty in rememberance after the obituary, as the accountant liked his music. However, when I did exactly that, he ended up putting my show off air. Dunno why.

Though maybe I shouldn't have played *Free Fallin'*...

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave.

He was decomposing.

What did the person with horrible music taste say to the person who stole their coin?

Hey can I have my nickelback?

Did you know that Al Gore founded an educational program that uses music to teach math?

It's called "Al Gore Rythms"

Do you all want to know what my music teacher has been teaching me?

How to Finger A Minor!

Music producers are basically like a pizza business.

They both make dough from mixers.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a heterosexual music composer?

Straighthoven

A music composer told me he cant listen to the radio anymore because popular music was much of the same recycled musical ideas. Said learning too much about a certain topic can ruin the fun of that topic.

And that's why I didn't become a gynecologist

What music didn't the Beatles invent?

Hip Hop, the weren't grasshoppers after all

Why did the Long Island seafood chef walk into a music store?

He needed a TUNAH!

What happens if you sing country music in reverse?

You get your wife and job back.

Music can take you places.

For example, Nickelback started playing, so now I'm going to a different cafe

Why the skeletons can't play music in a church?

Because they don't have organs.

What music do siamese cats listen to?

Fur Elise.

What a hippos favourite type of music?

Hippo- Hop LOL!

What do dogs use to listen to music during walks

The use their wireless AirPaw(d)s

I don't remember 90s music much.

It's all just a Blur.

They told Beethoven he couldn’t make music because he was deaf

but he didn’t listen

If you’re mom was a music teacher...

She’d call you an accidental.

On a wind farm in Texas, one windmill asked the other if they liked country music. The windmill replied.

I’m a big metal fan.

Why do pirates listen to opera music?

Because they love the high Cs.

My friends and I created a boysband of classical music.

We are the Bach Street Boys

I'm an aspiring music producer. The other day, I got recognized as I was driving around.

They said "Hey, aren't you our door dash driver?!" I gave them their food and drove away.

What kind of music do windmills like?

They're huge metal fans.

What is the perfect type of music to listen to while fishing?

Something catchy

I recently bought a bicycle that plays American music when you ride it

It's called a Gerschwinn

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. “Dad, what music did you like growing up?”

“I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin,” the father replies.

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“Who?” the son asks.

​

“Yeah,” the dad responds, “I liked them too.”

What music are balloons most afraid of?

Pop.

What is the Night King’s favorite music to listen to?

Arias.

A man cheats on his wife who happens to be a composer. After finding out about it, she composes a piece of music that expresses her unending rage.

Hell hath no fury like a woman score.

I recently went to a music festival and urinated in these futuristic "pod" toilets a couple of times.

I had like two pees in a pod.

What type of music do pirates listen to?

Any type they want since they don't have to pay for it

I like Korean music

It has a lot of seoul.

What music can't gingers listen to?

Soul music.

What do you call a Manipulative Music Conductor?

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Bachiavellian

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do

And for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'


\- Bob Newhart

Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards?

“Oh, that’s just Beethoven decomposing”.

Music is the universal language

But one day soon it will be replaced by Chinese.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A priest, a rabbi, and a music teacher walk into a bar

Teacher: There's a fire at the orphanage we should help! Those kids are in danger!

Rabbi: Fuck the children

Priest: Do you think we'll have time?

What time signature is most German music written in?

Nein four.

Dead men and music

What’s the difference between a dead body and someone that makes music?

One composed as the other decomposes

I've been trying to get my girlfriend into classical music but she just isn't interested.

I'm Baching up the wrong tree.

What is earth's favorite genre of music?

Metalcore

When Beethoven started composing music, people said he wouldn't amount to anything because he was deaf

Fortunately, he didn't listen to the critics

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My girlfriend turns on loud music whenever she goes to the bathroom...

So I can't hear shit.

For the first time ever I understood what all the fuss was about 80s music

It was an Aha moment

You know what mozarts favorite type of music is?

Scat

What do you call a North Korean dictator who produces music on SoundCloud?

Kim Jong Tune

Who’s your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

How does music help after an ice storm?

If you don't C Sharp, you'll B Flat.

I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of “Free Bird” being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

What is Caesar Zeppeli's least favorite genre of music?

Rock

My mom told me that apparently loud music can kill you

She said something about death and me listening to too much loud music, but i couldn't quite hear her.

What’s Chris Brown’s favorite type of music?

Beatbox

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl walks into a tattoo parlor and explains that she's always wanted a tattoo of her favorite country music star on the inside of her thigh...

She's really conflicted though, because she can't decide between her two favorites, Conway Twitty or George Jones.

The tattoo artist offers a solution: he would do both Conway Twitty AND George Jones, one on each thigh, for only $200 with a free money-back guarantee...if she doesn't like his...

Why did the music note drop out of college?

Because it couldn’t pick a major

The assassination of John Lennon is one of the biggest tragedies in music

Not even one of the five bullets hit Yoko Ono

Kim and Kanye are combining their talents to make a new genre of music

they call it plastic rap

evolution of music

imagine the future generation be like..."back in my day we had mumble rap"

I feel bad for saying 21 Savage’s music was trash

I should’ve called it rubbish

How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music?

They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The pope is just as picky about his music, as he is about his sexual candidates

The key to both is A minor.

Does music make you think?

Well it made Stevie Wonder

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I wrote some good books about music. What pisses me off is that...

...nobody wants to rhythm.

Why can't Usain Bolt listen to music when he's running?

Because the silly fool keeps breaking the records.

My printer keeps playing random music

I called support. Don’t worry they said, it’s just the paper jamming.

I want to make a music playlist titled: "Sausages"

Cause every song on it is a banger

I like music by underground artists

Like Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Prince.

Have you guys seen Steavie Wonder's new music video?

No...

That's ok neither did he.

A little music joke fo you

"I baroque my leg"
"Don't worry, I think you can Handel it"

My son likes rap music, but he's only 7 so when he asks what certain words mean, I lie....

for example, when rappers talk about "weed" they're just talking about the weeds in their grass... and when they "smoke weed" that just means they're killing the weeds in their lawn...


his favorite line is "HEY HEY HEY HEY... Smoke Weed Everyday".... I had to explain to him that it's by...

I like my women like I like my rap music

Lacking proper grammar rules, and full of speech impediments.

I got a call from my son’s music teacher today.

He said, “You have a little Curt Cobain on your hands.”

I said, “You mean he’s a great singer?”

He said, “No I mean he just shot himself in the head with a gun.”

What do you call four music playing condoms?

A rubber band.

What kind of music is a balloon scared of ?

Pop music.

I like horror movies because of the musics

They all have killer soundtracks

Doctor, doctor I'm really fat and when I play music I crash through the wooden support.

It's just a stage you're going through

A sign at the music shop said.....

Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet.

My neighbors listen to awesome music

Whether they like it or not

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