When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm. One of them turns to ask the other, "What kind of music are you into?"

The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan."

Why do pirates listen to opera music?

Because they love the high Cs.

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

A guy arrives at a music-themed costume party and the host asks him what he is supposed to be. The guy happily shouts 'A harp'. The host pauses and then says 'I think that costume seems a little small to be a harp'.

The guy replies 'Are you calling me a lyre?'.

Who’s your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

For the first time ever I understood what all the fuss was about 80s music

It was an Aha moment

Why did the music note drop out of college?

Because it couldn’t pick a major

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl walks into a tattoo parlor and explains that she's always wanted a tattoo of her favorite country music star on the inside of her thigh...

She's really conflicted though, because she can't decide between her two favorites, Conway Twitty or George Jones.

The tattoo artist offers a solution: he would do both Conway Twitty AND George Jones, one on each thigh, for only $200 with a free money-back guarantee...if she doesn't like his...

I've been trying to get my girlfriend into classical music but she just isn't interested.

I'm Baching up the wrong tree.

What’s Chris Brown’s favorite type of music?

Beatbox

Kim and Kanye are combining their talents to make a new genre of music

they call it plastic rap

I feel bad for saying 21 Savage’s music was trash

I should’ve called it rubbish

What's a demons favourite type of music?

Soul

What music to kangaroos like??

Hip hop!!!!

What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?

A hootenanny.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I wrote some good books about music. What pisses me off is that...

...nobody wants to rhythm.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The pope is just as picky about his music, as he is about his sexual candidates

The key to both is A minor.

What music do wind turbines listen to.....

They're huge metal fans.

Ba-dum chi

Why can't Usain Bolt listen to music when he's running?

Because the silly fool keeps breaking the records.

In our top story tonight, Kanye West's debt has expanded so much that he has been forced to quit his music career and take up agriculture and farming in Kansas.

Poverty has hit the West family so hard that his son Saint has been forced into polishing shoes at Times Square. Sources close to Kanye have confirmed that he indeed does make hay while the son shines.

What is Daredevil's favourite music festival?

Neversea

Why did the music teacher get fired?

Because he was caught fingering A Minor

Does music make you think?

Well it made Stevie Wonder

Music is the universal language

But one day soon it will be replaced by Chinese.

Have you guys seen Steavie Wonder's new music video?

No...

That's ok neither did he.

My son likes rap music, but he's only 7 so when he asks what certain words mean, I lie....

for example, when rappers talk about "weed" they're just talking about the weeds in their grass... and when they "smoke weed" that just means they're killing the weeds in their lawn...


his favorite line is "HEY HEY HEY HEY... Smoke Weed Everyday".... I had to explain to him that it's by...

I want to make a music playlist titled: "Sausages"

Cause every song on it is a banger

What’s a windmill’s favourite genre of music?

He’s a heavy metal fan.

I like music by underground artists

Like Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Prince.

I got a call from my son’s music teacher today.

He said, “You have a little Curt Cobain on your hands.”

I said, “You mean he’s a great singer?”

He said, “No I mean he just shot himself in the head with a gun.”

What do you call four music playing condoms?

A rubber band.

I like horror movies because of the musics

They all have killer soundtracks

Always be true to yourself! Never listen to those who tell you what you can't do! They told Beethoven he'd never make music because he was deaf...

But he didn't listen to them...

My printer keeps playing random music

I called support. Don’t worry they said, it’s just the paper jamming.

A sign at the music shop said.....

Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet.

What kind of music is a balloon scared of ?

Pop music.

Doctor, doctor I'm really fat and when I play music I crash through the wooden support.

It's just a stage you're going through

My neighbors listen to awesome music

Whether they like it or not

I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of “Free Bird” being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

Why was there music coming out of the printer?

The papers were jamming again.

What is Santa's favourite kind of music?

Wrap music.

Did you hear about the heavy metal band that also makes Christmas music?

They're called sleigh-er

I like my women like I like my rap music

Lacking proper grammar rules, and full of speech impediments.

People told Schwarzenegger that his dream of becoming a music composer is impossible to achive

To which he said
"I'll be bach"

What do you call it when a naked guy dances to Christmas music?

Jingle Balls.

What’s a dinosaur’s favourite genre of music?

Space Rock, but they don’t mind death metal.

You shouldn’t let your kids go to music class.

There’s too much sax and violins.

I'm sick of Christmas music.

You could even say it blows.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

As a female trying to break into the music industry I am often asked how I will know I have 'made it'. I figure it's when I'm invited to come on something like Saturday Night Live...

or John Mayer

A young Freddie Mercury walks into a music class

Music Teacher: "What instrument do you play?"

Freddie: "The crowd."

Music Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Freddie: "AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOO"

Music Class:"AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOO"

One of Roald Dahl's characters gained weight and started writing rap music.

Notorious BFG.

Is Africa by Toto country music?

No it’s continent music.

How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music?

They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.

You know what they say about bluegrass music...

It's not as bad as it sounds.

Have you heard about the fire at the music studio in Gothenburg?

The hole band went up In flames

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

Music is just like candy.

It’s good once you get rid of the rapper.

The latest hipster music craze plays songs at a frequency of 50000 Hz.

You probably never heard of it.

I bought an album, and called my friend who has a weird fetish for new music.

He came as soon as he heard.

What is a caveman's favorite music genre?

Rock

What do you call a zombie that writes music...?

Decomposer.

Classical music is such a scam...

You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band

Whats a Necromancer’s favorite kind of music?

Soul Trap.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

What kind of music do prisoners prefer?

Criminal records

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

Accordion to a study done by Stanford University, 9 out 10 people don’t notice when words are substituted for music instruments

hehe

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If Korean pop is kpop, what sort of music does Drake make?

Crap

True musicians never die.

They just start decomposing.

What do you call a microorganism that listens to Classical music?

Bach-teria

What do you call an Indian music teacher?

Ms. Singh

An Irishman is talking with an American at a music festival.

Irishman: I tell ya man it sucks that we're not allowed to bring our own beer into this festival. All of the beer here is so goddamn overpriced.

American: I know what you mean my friend, so in this case I'll help you out.

*The American pulls out a pair of binoculars and un caps the len...

Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?

Because his violin was Baroque

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Boobs are like Music Notes

They can be natural, flat, or even augmented

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.

I told him, "K pop"

What is Donald Trump's favorite music album?

The Wall

Why did Karl Marx hate classical music?

Because of the violins inherent in the system.


(In true r/Jokes spirit this one's not originally mine but I'm not sure where it came from. It's definitely one of my favourites though)

What’s the difference between a music major and 2 large pizzas?

The pizzas can feed a family.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When I make you breakfast in bed, fresh eggs benedict, local picked wild flowers and freshly pressed orange juice, get into bed next to you and wake you with soothing classical music, a simple Thank you would suffice....

Not all this how the fuck did you get into my house business.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An r/classicialmusic mod removed this one when I posted it. What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra?

A bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.

My girlfriend is a big fan of Bono’s music.

Every time I tell her I love her she tells me she loves U2.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A tech company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.

I told my agent that I could sightread music like a world class pianist

I forgot to mention that pianist was Stevie Wonder

Someone tried to steal my dyslexia music collection

I nearly lost my hits

Your mind is like Chrome

13 open tabs, 3 frozen. And you don’t know where the music is coming from

My ex used to hit me with musical instruments

I didn't know that she had a history of violins.

I was at a cafe when I had to fart. Thankfully there was loud music playing so I let it rip.

Turns out I was wearing ear buds.

What happens when you play a country music record backwards?

Your wife comes home, your truck starts, and your boots fit.

Sad news for music lovers today....

Justin Bieber was found in his hotel room, alive.

Was at a party where the DJ was playing the music too quietly so I asked him to turn it up.

Thought it was nice to offer some sound advice.

My friends and I started a band making music about good posture.

We're called the Backstraight boys.

I heard that plants grow faster when you play music for them

I hope they like Plantera

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Superman had a huge crush on Wonder Woman...

He was always to scared to tell her, fearing it would ruin their work relationship. One day, he was using his X-ray vision to watch her in her apartment. He saw her put on music and start taking her clothes off. She sat down on her bed. She was getting in the romantic mood. She was squirming around,...

I went to a karaoke bar yesterday that didn't play any 70s music

At first i was afraid, i was petrified.