I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

They told Beethoven he couldn’t make music because he was deaf

but he didn’t listen

What is the perfect type of music to listen to while fishing?

Something catchy

What kind of music do windmills like?

They're huge metal fans.

What happens if you sing country music in reverse?

You get your wife and job back.

Why do pirates listen to opera music?

Because they love the high Cs.

What do you call a Manipulative Music Conductor?

​

​

​

Bachiavellian

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

What type of music do pirates listen to?

Any type they want since they don't have to pay for it

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do

And for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'


\- Bob Newhart

Dead men and music

What’s the difference between a dead body and someone that makes music?

One composed as the other decomposes

What do you call a North Korean dictator who produces music on SoundCloud?

Kim Jong Tune

Suddenly I hear classical music coming from a grave, sounds like its being played backwards?

“Oh, that’s just Beethoven decomposing”.

What music are balloons most afraid of?

Pop.

Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm. One of them turns to ask the other, "What kind of music are you into?"

The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan."

Music producers are basically like a pizza business.

They both make their dough from mixers.

What time signature is most German music written in?

Nein four.

When Beethoven started composing music, people said he wouldn't amount to anything because he was deaf

Fortunately, he didn't listen to the critics

If life is a music,

I am in D minor.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My girlfriend turns on loud music whenever she goes to the bathroom...

So I can't hear shit.

What is earth's favorite genre of music?

Metalcore

How does music help after an ice storm?

If you don't C Sharp, you'll B Flat.

For the first time ever I understood what all the fuss was about 80s music

It was an Aha moment

You know what mozarts favorite type of music is?

Scat

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A priest, a rabbi, and a music teacher walk into a bar

Teacher: There's a fire at the orphanage we should help! Those kids are in danger!

Rabbi: Fuck the children

Priest: Do you think we'll have time?

What music to kangaroos like??

Hip hop!!!!

The assassination of John Lennon is one of the biggest tragedies in music

Not even one of the five bullets hit Yoko Ono

My mom told me that apparently loud music can kill you

She said something about death and me listening to too much loud music, but i couldn't quite hear her.

Who’s your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

Music is the universal language

But one day soon it will be replaced by Chinese.

Why did the music note drop out of college?

Because it couldn’t pick a major

What’s Chris Brown’s favorite type of music?

Beatbox

Kim and Kanye are combining their talents to make a new genre of music

they call it plastic rap

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl walks into a tattoo parlor and explains that she's always wanted a tattoo of her favorite country music star on the inside of her thigh...

She's really conflicted though, because she can't decide between her two favorites, Conway Twitty or George Jones.

The tattoo artist offers a solution: he would do both Conway Twitty AND George Jones, one on each thigh, for only $200 with a free money-back guarantee...if she doesn't like his...

I've been trying to get my girlfriend into classical music but she just isn't interested.

I'm Baching up the wrong tree.

I feel bad for saying 21 Savage’s music was trash

I should’ve called it rubbish

What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?

A hootenanny.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I wrote some good books about music. What pisses me off is that...

...nobody wants to rhythm.

Why did the music teacher get fired?

Because he was caught fingering A Minor

Why can't Usain Bolt listen to music when he's running?

Because the silly fool keeps breaking the records.

Does music make you think?

Well it made Stevie Wonder

Have you guys seen Steavie Wonder's new music video?

No...

That's ok neither did he.

I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of “Free Bird” being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

A little music joke fo you

"I baroque my leg"
"Don't worry, I think you can Handel it"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The pope is just as picky about his music, as he is about his sexual candidates

The key to both is A minor.

My son likes rap music, but he's only 7 so when he asks what certain words mean, I lie....

for example, when rappers talk about "weed" they're just talking about the weeds in their grass... and when they "smoke weed" that just means they're killing the weeds in their lawn...


his favorite line is "HEY HEY HEY HEY... Smoke Weed Everyday".... I had to explain to him that it's by...

What’s a windmill’s favourite genre of music?

He’s a heavy metal fan.

I like music by underground artists

Like Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Prince.

I want to make a music playlist titled: "Sausages"

Cause every song on it is a banger

I got a call from my son’s music teacher today.

He said, “You have a little Curt Cobain on your hands.”

I said, “You mean he’s a great singer?”

He said, “No I mean he just shot himself in the head with a gun.”

My printer keeps playing random music

I called support. Don’t worry they said, it’s just the paper jamming.

I like my women like I like my rap music

Lacking proper grammar rules, and full of speech impediments.

What do you call four music playing condoms?

A rubber band.

I like horror movies because of the musics

They all have killer soundtracks

What kind of music is a balloon scared of ?

Pop music.

Why was there music coming out of the printer?

The papers were jamming again.

A sign at the music shop said.....

Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet.

My neighbors listen to awesome music

Whether they like it or not

What is Santa's favourite kind of music?

Wrap music.

How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music?

They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.

Did you hear about the heavy metal band that also makes Christmas music?

They're called sleigh-er

You shouldn’t let your kids go to music class.

There’s too much sax and violins.

People told Schwarzenegger that his dream of becoming a music composer is impossible to achive

To which he said
"I'll be bach"

What do you call it when a naked guy dances to Christmas music?

Jingle Balls.

Doctor, doctor I'm really fat and when I play music I crash through the wooden support.

It's just a stage you're going through

What’s a dinosaur’s favourite genre of music?

Space Rock, but they don’t mind death metal.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Some dude said: I like my music slow

I said: That's retarded

Is Africa by Toto country music?

No it’s continent music.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

As a female trying to break into the music industry I am often asked how I will know I have 'made it'. I figure it's when I'm invited to come on something like Saturday Night Live...

or John Mayer

I'm sick of Christmas music.

You could even say it blows.

One of Roald Dahl's characters gained weight and started writing rap music.

Notorious BFG.

A young Freddie Mercury walks into a music class

Music Teacher: "What instrument do you play?"

Freddie: "The crowd."

Music Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Freddie: "AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOO"

Music Class:"AAAAAAAYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOO"

Why was the high school music teacher controversial?

Because he had his students read band books.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

Music Joke

Beethoven was my favorite composer ever, I felt a personal connection to him, so I set out to dig up his grave. I walked over to the cemetery in which he was buried, and started digging. I pulled out the casket and opened the top. I was shocked when I saw his decaying body sitting upright erasing hi...

Classical music is such a scam...

You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band

You know what they say about bluegrass music...

It's not as bad as it sounds.

The latest hipster music craze plays songs at a frequency of 50000 Hz.

You probably never heard of it.

What do you call a zombie that writes music...?

Decomposer.

Whats a Necromancer’s favorite kind of music?

Soul Trap.

Have you heard about the fire at the music studio in Gothenburg?

The hole band went up In flames

I bought an album, and called my friend who has a weird fetish for new music.

He came as soon as he heard.

An Irishman is talking with an American at a music festival.

Irishman: I tell ya man it sucks that we're not allowed to bring our own beer into this festival. All of the beer here is so goddamn overpriced.

American: I know what you mean my friend, so in this case I'll help you out.

*The American pulls out a pair of binoculars and un caps the len...

Music is just like candy.

It’s good once you get rid of the rapper.

The doctor said to me, “Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music!” I gasped, “Yikes! What’s The Cure?!”

He yowled, “Oh my God! It’s worse than I thought!”

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.

I told him, "K pop"

Accordion to a study done by Stanford University, 9 out 10 people don’t notice when words are substituted for music instruments

hehe

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If Korean pop is kpop, what sort of music does Drake make?

Crap

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

True musicians never die.

They just start decomposing.

What do you call a microorganism that listens to Classical music?

Bach-teria

What kind of music do prisoners prefer?

Criminal records

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An r/classicialmusic mod removed this one when I posted it. What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra?

A bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.

What do you call an Indian music teacher?

Ms. Singh

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Boobs are like Music Notes

They can be natural, flat, or even augmented

My ex used to hit me with musical instruments

I didn't know that she had a history of violins.

What is Donald Trump's favorite music album?

The Wall

Why did Karl Marx hate classical music?

Because of the violins inherent in the system.


(In true r/Jokes spirit this one's not originally mine but I'm not sure where it came from. It's definitely one of my favourites though)