What is Homer Simpson's favorite part of a pizza?

The D'oh!



This one occurred to me while I was making pizza today. Yeah, clearly I'm 6...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the medical name for Homer's premature ejaculation?

A Dohnut

Homer Simpson takes his yellow, spiky-haired son to a bar. The bartender pulls up a shotgun and aims it at the boy.

I regret saying this, but the bartender lives up to his name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Homer say to Bart when he couldn't please his uninterested crush?

You're a simp, son.



(Of course it's bad. I just wanted to get this shit out of my system.)

I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homer's a fat guy and Marge has blue hair"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call Homer Simpson accidently banging his head at the end of a wank?

A Doh! - nut

A young farm couple, Homer and Daisy, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love.

When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done.

Fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

What do Homer Simpson and pizza have in common?

Doh.

"Doctor, I think I'm going deaf."

Doctor said, "Describe the symptoms."


\- "Well, Homer is bald, Marge has blue hair..."

One day, a mathematician was found dead in his office....

When they investigated they found he had died of dehydration, slumped over an untranslated copy of Homer's Iliad that had been sent to him by mistake.
Scrawled on the margins were the words "This is the most complicated equation I have ever seen"

What do you call Homer, Lucan, Ovid, and Horace in Hell?

A Dead Poet's Society.

What's Homer Simpson's favorite song?

Sweet Child D'oh! Mine

Why did Homer get a job at a bakery?

He kneaded the doh

Albert Einstein and Homer Simpson had a bet.

Albert Einstein says “If I can’t answer your question, i’ll give you a million dollars. If you can’t answer my question, you have to give me five dollars.”

Homer says “ok”

Albert Einstein says “I’ll start: What is the capital of France?”

Homer says “lol idk”

Homer gives E...

Hey Homer, did you hear about the Impeachment?

Mmmmm peach mint (drool noises)

What do you call a plagiarized work of Homer?

A fraudyssey

Why did Moe finally decide to kill of Homer Simpson's son?

he realized he was a Bartender

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

What game does Homer Simpson always lose?

Tic Tac Doh!

Why did the Italian Homer Simpson buy his wife cheese?

Because it was Formaggio

What was Homer's favorite letter?

Wine-dark C.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Hammer had sex with an Hoe.

They named their baby Homer

How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?

Melon D'OH

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I absolutely love and admire the unintellignt, overweight, yellowish-orange skinned man with the bad combover covering his baldness who has had his finger on the nuclear button all these years...

Wait... I was talking about Homer Simpson, who did you think I meant?

What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

If someone sends you a link to download the Homer's Iliad, don't download it...

It's full of trojans!!

“Doctor, my hearing is getting worse...”

- Can you explain the symtoms?
- Well, Homer is fat, bald and ugly; Bart is...

Doctor: I understand you're experiencing hearing difficulties. Please describe the symptoms.

Patient: Well, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.

^(Posted on behalf of /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter's comment section)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who masturbates to the Iliad and the Odyssey?

A Homer-Sexual

A baseball manager calls up a Chinese rookie from the minor leagues

The player shows up before his first game and goes to take batting practice. The manager sees him walking to the batter's box with a frying pan sitting on his head. He says "You can't wear a frying pan in the batter's box, son. You need a helmet."

The player responds: "This is my lucky frying...

I realize the writer of the Iliad and the Odyssey was better than me every time I enter my house

I am home, but he was Homer.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?

Art.

That same guy in your pool? Bob

Same guy in your hot tub? Stew

Sitting under your car that's missing a wheel? Jack

Same guy on your porch? Matt

Same guy getting hit with a baseball bat? Homer

Same guy lying in a pile of leaves? Russel

What do you...

So my friend had some issue with his hearing....

My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."

I visited the doctors yesterday

Because I've had trouble with my hearing. I sat down in front of the doctor and he asked what the matter was. I explained I had trouble hearing the past few days, he asked if I could explain the symptoms. I said "Marge has blue hair and homers fat"

Things need to know about me

A. Bad at grammar

B. Bad at titles

C. Grammar

D. Repetitive

H. Don't know the alphabet

5. Inconsistent

7. Don't know number line

12. Repetitive

237. Too ambitious

(239) Inconsistent

(6) Childish

(7) Easily distracted
...

Hard of Hearing

I went to the Doctors yesterday as my ears were a bit blocked and I couldn't hear too well.
The Doctor asked if I could describe the symptoms, I told him the Father is called Homer and is fat and his wife is called Marge with big blue hair.

An ear doctor gets a phone call from a patient and asks him to describe the symptoms.

He says, "they're yellow, Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair".

[Source](http://m.imgur.com/gallery/3axkvOQ)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person with a Simpsons fetish?

Homer-sexual

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.