Kingdom A was in big debt to Kingdom B.

Kingdom B requested that Kingdom A repay their debt by sending them a large amount of knights. Kingdom A frantically recruited knights and just barely supplied the demand. They were left with only Sir Plus.

Good ol'e USA

18: can I buy a bottle of wine?

USA: no that's illegal & irresponsible

18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?

USA: we encourage it

I would make a joke about greece's debt but...

I dont think it'll pay off.

I’m broke, sad and a disappointment to my parents. But at least I’m not in debt

That’s the one thing I’m given credit for

I read the news and it says that the student debt of the US has surpassed $1.8 trillion

I said "Damn only 3 students owe money"

[OC] You millennials are always complaining that we ran up trillions of dollars of debt for you. Why can't you just pull yourselves up by your bootstraps?

After all, we pulled ourselves up by your bootstraps.

I finally paid off my student debt.

To celebrate, I decided to go to a concert. It was Post Malone.

I’m in so much debt, I can’t afford to pay my electric bill.

These are the darkest days of my life.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I like my women like I like my student debt

Always there and constantly fucking me

Your debt will always stay with you...

If you can't budge it.

How do you pay off a ton of debt in London?

£2,000

Girl, are you a Collateralized Debt Obligation?

Because a lot of rich people are trading you around and a few insiders have told me you're completely toxic.

Having Children is like having debt

It's best to avoid both in your twenties

Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.

I am forever in your debt.

Irish Economics!

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town and he stops at the local hotel and lays a 100 no...

What do you call a spy in debt?

Bond. James' Bond.

I got a letter from the bank saying I was still in debt.

I don't know why, I sent them a cheque.

President Obama has a meeting with the President of China to discuss debt...

President Obama has a meeting with Xi Jinping to discuss the debt the US owes to China. He arrives at the Chinese presidential mansion with Joe Biden, but they find there is work going on in the garden and lots of mud everywhere. So they have to roll up their trouser legs and step carefully to enter...

A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament

Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?

Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.

Interviewer: and what about the rest?

Poker player: Well... I guess they'll ha...

i had it all

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way. 


He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed.


I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym an...

What do you call a guy who's always in debt?

Owen.

Why are the Greeks so in debt?

They demand credit for everything

An eccentric billionaire's beloved pet hog was very ill...

...and his private vet was away so he had to find a last minute specialist. Vets from around the world sent word that they would come to his aid right away, jumping at the chance to look at the animal, thereby winning the rich old man's admiration and the huge bill that would come from top notch car...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' John said. ''I know I haven't been perfect but I really need to win the lottery.

I don't have a lot of money. Please help me out.'' He left the church, a week went by, and he hadn't won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ''Come on, God,'' he said. ''I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please let me win the lottery.'' He left the synag...

Why did the producers of 007 films use government debt to fund their newest film?

Because interest in the Bond is so low.

Last week, Puerto Rico's Governor said that they couldn't pay their debt.

From now on, the Island will be known as Puerto Pobre.

Happy to announce that I’m no longer broke!

I’m beyond that point and am now drowning in debt.

A boy gets his first job while in high school...

...as a repossessor.

​

He is enjoying feeling responsible and is pleased that he is in the workforce, however his mother isn't very happy with his job choice.

​

"I wish you would find a different job," his mother kept telling him. "I feel awful for a...

A man and a genie

A man is walking on a sandy beach in Southern California, and what appears to be a very old bottle washes up on the shores.

The genie expressed gratitude for the man freeing him from the bottle.

The genie says "I am in your debt, but I can only grant you one wish."

The man says ...

I'm going through a divorce at the moment, and my soon to be ex-wife said she is going to make sure my bank balance is going to be $0.

That's nice of her, paying off all my debt.

A CEO was asked to give money to a charity

A worker at a charity organization went to a CEO's office to ask for a donation.

He Said: "Sir I don't mean to bother you, but I've noticed that you haven't given any money to our charity, you seem pretty well off and we were wondering if you would be willing to donate."

The CEO said: ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The targeted junk email I get seems to be aimed at the wrong guy..

They really need to update their database, they seem to all think I want to own a rolex, am desperately single enough to want a Russian Bride, have a really small penis, mounting debt, and should refinance my home.

Crazy right?

I don't own a home!

A moral businessman always pays his tithe

A young man becomes a successful businessman very early on in life. Being a faithful member of the church he always pays his tithe for years and years.

He later falls upon hard times and so he talks to his banker. His banker lets him know that things are worse than the man had realized, he co...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man got divorced and goes to a swamp to drown himself.

When he’s about to jump, a frog appears and says “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Man tells the frog that his wife left him and took the kids and he wants to kill himself. “Don’t worry, go home and everything will be fine” frog answers. Man comes home to see that his wife and family is back and everything i...

I hate people who can’t let go of the past

Debt collectors are the worst

I was told to dress as the scariest thing possible for the Halloween party...

How do I dress as my student debt?

I was robbed by a capsized pirate today.

He said he couldn’t feed his kids nor pay his debts and was underwater.

Always be careful when renovating bathrooms

It’s all going well until the bank calls you talking about how urine debt

I have to go talk to the bank today.

If everything goes well, I will finally be out of debt. I'm so excited, I can barely get my ski mask on!

What do you call an actor that spent all his money on condoms?

Johnny Debt.

Which Game of Thrones house does House Trump most resemble?

Definitely not House Lannister, because they always pay their debts.

So I started a new band.

We scream aggressively about how broke we are to heavy guitar riffs.

We're called Debt Metal.

Alanis sets out to Vegas on her annual gambling trip.

On arrival, she heads straight to her usual Blackjack table, where she's greeted by the croupier, "Welcome back Mrs. Terr. The usual loan, I assume?"

She nods and he hands her $10,000 in chips.

After an hour, she's down to $20.

The croupier asks, "Same again, Mrs. Terr?", she n...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

America is basically Trump's fourth wife.

He gave us his name, fucked us, and all we'll have to show for it is a long, drawn-out court procedure and a bunch of unnecessary debt.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Let me tell you a story of a guy named Juan.

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

"You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education"...

Donald Trump must be irish....

Because when he's president the national debt is Dublin


I'll show myself out

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Not Just A Nymph...But A Nympho [OC] (hopefully)

There's a poor farm family, Father, Mother and three sons. They make a very difficult living on a rocky farm, barely growing enough to survive. It's a hard life, teetering on the edge of disaster.

They have a cow, and it makes all the difference. She's a great producer of milk, and they are...

So my crush wants a guy with a phd

And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt

A moth goes into a dentists office at 11 PM

He goes to the lady behind the counter and says "i just won a million dollars in the lottery. So i bought my parents a mansion. As soon as i did the mansion burnt down, killing both of my parents and then i got hit by a car breaking my arm. I've never been more depressed or in debt in my life."
<...

This guy was down on his luck...

He lost his job and was really in debt, so he decided to end it all. He went to a bridge outside town and was ready to jump, when out of the gathering fog he saw a figure coming slowly toward him. It was the ugliest woman he’d ever seen and she was wearing a conical hat.

“Who the hell are yo...

Cow for sale

An old farmer in serious financial trouble put an ad selling a cow for $500.

Another farmer went to see it and they agreed to deliver the cow the next day, paying in advance.

However, the next day the buyer came and old farmer said:

I'm sorry, but I have some bad news. The cow d...

My new bank is very uplifting...

I’m $1,000 in debt, but they said my balance is *outstanding*!

Someone told me that I have 'Millennial humor'

It's comments like those that make me want to shoot myself and then go into debt.

What’s the difference between a high school graduate and a college dropout?

Debt.

What doesn't kill you

cripples you with medical debt.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

John owned the local florist shop.

The shop had been in his family for five generations -- and he loved his work. He was a part of people’s lives, from their first prom, to valentines gifts, birthdays, weddings, and even funerals -- he loved his work, and the town loved him. Life for him, his wife Susan, his mom Louis, and their thre...

If I had 50¢ for every Math test I failed....

I still wouldn't have enough money to pay off my crippling student debt.

A guy with a long face enters a shoe store

He asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. He tries them on, and although the salesman thinks they are a bit tight on the front, he buys them.

On the next day, the same guy comes back and asks to change the shoes with a size 7. The salesman fetches a pair to try on. This time the shoes are quite ti...

The Kings English

I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, slough and through.

Beware of heard, a dreadful word, That looks like beard but sounds like bird.

And dead: It’s said like bed, not bead -- For goodness’ sake, don...

A law student won the lottery.

His friend congratulated him and asked, "what will you do with the money?"

To which he answered, "Pay off my debts."

"And the rest of it?" his friend asked.

"The rest of them will have to wait."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bob forgot his wife's anniversary

His wife is pissed as hell. She is so pissed, in fact, that she says, "I want to see something that goes from 0 to 200 in 60 seconds or I'M LEAVING YOU!!!" She runs off to go to work.


Bob is extremely worried. His family didn't have that much money in it anyway because they were in great ...

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was rich

I’d be in debt

What's the difference between people who voted for Trump, and those that didn't?

On average, about $30,000 in student debt.

Hillary Clinton has a seizure during the debate...

"Mrs. Clinton," the Moderator asks, "What is your plan to lower the national debt?"

Suddenly, Hillary flails her arms around, rolls her eyes wildly, foams at the mouth, and gibbers incoherently for several awkward minutes. Finally, she collapses in a heap and soils herself.

"Hey!" Trum...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two Cows

**Edit: Just to make it clear, I am not taking credit for the joke(s). I just merely found it/them whilst browsing around and thought you guys would appreciate it/them.**



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour



COMMUNISM

You have 2...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

A young man went to a bear hunter's house...

...He says to the old bear hunter:"I have been poor my entire life, can you please accept me as your disciple and teach me your ways of hunting?" The old bear hunter refused at first, but after the young man begs for several times he finally accepted.

He took out his 22-gauge rifle and says t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two Muslim families move from Afghanistan to the US....

The fathers in each family make a bet to see who could be more Americanized after one year.

They meet a year later and the first father says, "I just took my son to baseball practice, had McDonalds for breakfast and I've racked up more debt than I'll ever be able to pay off."

The seco...

Farmer meets with Banker annually

The Farmer has to meet with the banker, talk about the crops for the year, talk about grain prices, and try to forecast the year's output to plan out expenses for the year.

When the banker arrives at the farm he notices a very tame and friendly pig, running around as if nothing's wrong, had ...