Rating Jokes - 32 Hilarious Rating Jokes

The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store.

But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We have a rating-agency sex life..

She’s always moody because I’m standard and poor

Chinese Flag Rating

I’d give it uhhh 5 stars.

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MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED

G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!

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Why is Texas called the Lone Star state?

Because you can’t leave a zero stars rating

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Went to see a movie last night which had an overall rating of 3.14

It was pirated.

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leather quality ratings

Leather is “rated” based on its texture. Cows with abundant water sources typically have softer hides, rated “A”. But hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are typically D Hide-Rated.

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What does George Lucas look for when rating a university’s sports program?

He makes sure there are two D2 teams.

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Why don't aliens visit Earth

Bc we have 1 star rating...

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The gave the sun a rating

It was only one star

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Why do sword fighters have a high karma rating on reddit?

They have been trained to riposte.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my German girlfriend...

Likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale from 1 to 10.

Last night I tried anal. She kept yelling "9". You will never believe it, that's my best rating yet.

Rating your girlfriend

A bartender notices one of his regulars looking dejected.

" Hey John, what happened to you?"

" My girlfriend broke up with me. "

Interested, the bartender leans forward and asks why.

" Well. This morning I told her she was a 60."

" Well that's kinda understan...

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Biden has a higher approval rating among female voters than Trump

However it was the Mail voters that won Biden the Election.

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A joke my 8 year old brother told me. G rating

Why dont you take a pokemon to the bathroom.

Because it might pi-ka-chu

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Alabama has the highest approval rating for Trump in the country.

They also have a law banning the sale of vibrators.

Apparently they can only support one dildo at a time.

I enjoy rating countries on a 0-10 scale

I give Nepal a solid 7.8. The score is so high, it's ground breaking

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Why did the bra shop have a low rating?

There were many complains about poor customer support

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What rating did Jesus give the Romans for his crucifixion?

X/X... They nailed it!

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What has worse ratings than my Tinder account?

CNN

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A porn website reviewer finally found a website he can give a 10/10 rating

Since then, he's been gushing with enthusiasm.

Why don't aliens visit our solar system?

Terrible ratings. One star.

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What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

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Which gun has a perfect rating?

A Five-seven.

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When they didn't accept my discount, I gave my local tanning salon a low rating...

It seemed a little shady to me.

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Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating?

1.1 million stars

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My rating on the New Star Wars film.

3.5 out of 7

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What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

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I learned that Chernobyl Nuclear Plant has a 4.1 star rating on Google.

Apparently it would be more, but people ran out of fingers.

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A documentary about the history of the computer desktop was recently given an R rating...

Turns out every icon was a little graphic.

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To me, I think it was the right idea to give that new joker movie an R rating

Without it the whole film would seem like one big “*Joke*”

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Funniness and cleverness have always been two notable factors for rating puns...

...but the third has groan in significance.

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