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Salesmen Jokes

Three car salesmen have a wreck on the way to work

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says "Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven."

To the first he says "My son, while on Earth did you lead a good life?"
"Oh yes, " says the first man," I had thirty years of marriage to a wonderful woman and I was hones...

The traveling salesmen

Two traveling salesmen were riding together across West Texas when their car began to sputter and cough. Soon, it died completely and they were stranded on the side of a state highway with little traffic.

Fortunately, a pick up truck pulled over to help. The driver was a comely middle aged wo...

Traveling salesmen and the farmer

A traveling salesmen is driving through the country one evening when his car breaks down. He walks to the nearest farm house and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, he explains his situation and kindly asks to use his phone.

The farmer replies “Well we haven’t got a phone here, but ...

A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv."

The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes."

So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv."

Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."

So she left again and came back with her hair dyed black and...

I've often found that shoe salesmen make quite good detectives...

They always know when something is afoot.

Battery salesmen are the best.

They always have the most energy.

So these male two car salesmen are good friends…

One day at work one of the car salesmen says “can you hand me that little booklet with the information about the car?” And the other responds with “Bro, sure.”

Three insurance salesmen, Al, Ben, and Carl, are bragging about their accomplishments.

"Last month," says Al, "when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within six hours. The next day, I put a check in the mail for his family."

"That's nothing," says Ben. "Last week, when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within 30 minutes. That very day, I personally d...

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Two salesmen walk into a train station

The old salesman sends the younger one up to get their tickets

Behind the counter is a stunning beauty with and a beautiful smile

The young salesman stammers "I'd like two Pickets to Tittsbugh...I mean two tickets to Pittsburgh please"...she laughs, hands him the tickets and h...

Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!

Problems are like Bible salesmen...

if you pretend that they are not there, sooner or later they disappear.

Before John was a traveling salesmen

Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..

It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he...

Never trust bed salesmen

They're all sleeper agents

Two salesmen were going door to door

Two salesmen were going door to door. They knocked on one door and a woman answered. She was extremely unhappy to see them.

She told them angrily she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. But to her surprise, the door bounced back open. She tried again and real...

I'm starting a protest against the evil capitalist structure promoted by Vietnamese soup salesmen.

We are Anti-Pho

Why don't mediocre salesmen get laid?

Because they sell a bit.

Why can't you ever trust pillowcase salesmen?

Because it might be a *sham*

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Winky

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

“Looking at your résumé, I can see that you’re more than qualified,” says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire y...

Stuttering Bible Salesman

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who wo...

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Why do rapists make such great salesmen?

They don't take no for an answer.

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Three salesmen, an Englishman, a French man, and an American, meet in an airport...

and eventually the topic turns to .


The Englishman says, "Before I left for this trip, I made love to my wife 3 times. The next morning she woke up and made me a big breakfast of fried bacon, potatoes and eggs. As I went out the door she gave me a passionate kiss and told me last night...

Sales

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught between towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house qui...

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Trump yard signs must be great for door to door salesmen

Those people would buy any kind of

Guy walks into a bar with an octopus

The bartender, upon seeing the octopus, says "hey hey hey I run a respectable establishment here, no cephalopods allowed!"

The owner of the octopus says "no, wait, this is the most amazing octopus in the world, it can play any musical instrument known to man."

As fate would have it, th...

A salesman decided to venture into a new housing development.

He thought no other salesmen would have gone there because it was a new development. He wanted to be the first one, the early bird. So he knocked on the very first house that he saw there. A lady came and opened the door. Without giving her a chance to speak, he slipped into her house, took out A LO...

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A joke from the 1800s

" While passing a house on the road, two Virginia salesmen spotted a "very peculiar chimney, unfinished, and it attracting their attention, they asked a flaxen-haired urchin standing near the house if it 'drawed well' whereupon the aforementioned urchin gave them the stinging retort: 'Yes, it draws ...

The magic carpet

Three girlfriends (a blonde, a brunette and a redhead) go to a carpet store that was advertising magic carpets for sale.

They enter the store and the salesperson greets then and informs them that only one magic carpet remain, all the flying ones were sold and the one remaining was a truth te...

A stutterer applies for a job selling Bibles.

The boss is wary, but they're short on salesmen and he is willing to give it a shot.

On his first day, the new salesman comes in during lunch. "C-c-can I g-get some n-n-new B-Bibles, I'm out of st-t-stock," he says.

The boss is flabbergasted. "How on Earth did you manage that?" he as...

A guy goes to heaven ...

and he meets God. God says "You were a good person, come with me" God takes him to what looks like a festival. As they get closer, he hears gunshots. He turns and aske God what this is. He replies "Well, since you were a good person, and did not sin once in your life, you get to commit one sin, f...

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what a set up, for a dad joke. it's worth it tho

full disclosure, this isn't my joke, was sent to me


I knew a bloke who was a massive fan of tractors his whole life.

When he was a kid, he didn't have toy cars or posters of lambos on his bedroom wall, he had toy tractors and trailers and posters of the latest John Deeres.

...

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My dad tells this joke everywhere.

Apparently, my dad feels it's appropriate to tell everyone this joke. Waiters, salesmen, etc.

An American man is on a business trip to Ireland. He decides to take a break from his work and heads to the local pub. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender, being very upfront says, "You se...

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A guy is playing a game of golf

And he forgets which hole he is on so he ask's the woman infront of him so she says "well i'm on the 7th hole and you're a hole behind me so that would me you're on the 6th hole" the man thanks her and continues playing,


and after awhile he forgets what hole he's on he again sees the same...

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The Toothbrush Salemen

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up ...

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The Toothbrush Salesman

A guy loses his job and is really down on his luck. He searches everywhere, but can't seem to find any work.

After a few weeks he see's a classified in the newspaper looking for a salesman. He applies and is scheduled for an interview.

When he gets to the interview, he meets his pote...

A man is sitting on his couch watching TV...

...when he hears the doorbell ring.

He opens the door, and sees a snail on the doorstep.

"What do you want?" says the man.

"Sir, I am wondering whether you may be interested in some new roller shutters for your home."

The man, furious at being constantly harassed by sales...

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Working at the car dealership.

I was working at a car dealership and it had just recently rained when a large tractor trailer slid off the road into the grassy ditch. We decided to help pull it out so we hooked a chain to the tractor trailer and hooked the other end to one of the trucks we sell. But our truck just got stuck in ...

[Long] The Farmers horse

There was a farmer who owned a small ranch with some livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle. One day a traveling salesmen knocks on his door. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. After he gives his sales pitch he says to the farmer:
"You know ...

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The Geordie Salesman

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked him, "Do you have any sales experience?"

"Aye," he replied, "I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."

The manager liked him, so said he would give him a try.

The first day was difficul...

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A guy who has spent his whole life in the outback of Australia decides he wants a change in his life, so he moves to the city.

He arrives in Sydney, and the first thing he does is looks for a job. He goes to the biggest department store downtown and applies for a job. The HR rep asks him if he has any experience in sales. So the guy says 'yea I was considered one of the best salesmen out Bush'. The rep isn't amused. 'This ...
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