What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

*“Supplies!”*

A janitor gets accepted into Nascar

His car goes "Broom, Broom"

A janitor at my work asked me to come over and smoke weed with her!!

I told her No. I can't stand high maintenance women.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Keepers at a zoo realized that a lone female gorilla that was recently brought in for habitation was badly in heat.

Because of this the gorilla was acting very amorous with the keepers every time they tried to feed her. So they figured if she just had sex that she might calm down.

It was then they approached a rather dumb janitor and asked him if he'd like to have sex with the gorilla for $500.

The ...

My father who is a janitor said his position at work was raised

He will be cleaning the 40th floor instead of the 39th.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."

The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

What do you call the janitors of the CIA?

Sweeper Agents

How warm is a janitor's closet?

Broom Temperature.

What do you call a live in janitor?

A broomate.

Why are there so many janitors from Poland?

They know how to Polish better than anyone.

Today I was invited by a female janitor to smoke some weed at her apartment, but i politley declined.

I can’t deal with high maintenance women.

Just a schoolgirl waiting for her dad…

While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint.

When my dad saw us, he ran into the cloud of smoke, grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the car!

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you angry at ME?” I protested. “I didn’t even do anything...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Don't be so hard on yourself" Said our office janitor.

While i was masturbating;

*seeing myself naked in the washroom mirror.*

Why was the janitor late for his job interview?

He over swept.

By mistake his Phone rang in Church during prayers...

The Priest scolded him ...

After prayers, the congregation admonished him for interrupting the silence.

His wife lectured him on his carelessness until they got home.

One could see the shame, embarrassment n humiliation on his face !!

*He has never stepped into the Church...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A catholic priest goes on vacation and asks the janitor to run the confessional booth.

J- “ I don’t know how to run the booth though!”

P- “ It is very easy. Just listen to the people’s sins and refer to the chart of sins on the wall. The chart will say how many Hail Marys the sinner must say for it to be forgiven”

The janitor agrees and begins his shift the next day. Th...

What did the Janitor call his safety warning inspired metal band?

Slip not.

A movie about janitors impressed critics.

Later that year the movie swept the Oscars.

What does a Janitor have in common with Santa Claus?

Leave out some cookies for them and you'll receive better treatment.

My girlfriend smokes pot all day and works as a janitor in an apartment building.

She’s high maintenance.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an uzi. What do they arm the lunch lady with?

A salt rifle

A janitor, a waitress, and a bartender walk into a bar.

Then they open for the day.

Where do janitors go at night?

They go to sweep.

What’s a German janitor’s favourite game?

Mein Sweeper.

What do you call a janitor that works at a spy headquarters?

A sweeper agent

What did the barber tell the janitor at the end of the day?

Take hair!

My 8 year old thought of it after his hair cut last night. I hope it’s OC as he doesn’t have a Reddit account, yet.

What did the janitor's ex wife accuse him of?

Sweeping around.

Saw a janitor wiping the handrail on an ascending escalator

He was cleaning up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you have an email address?

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that...

It's not right to assume that a janitor can clean your chimney.

You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations.

A man walks up to a janitor and asks him, "Don't you ever get tired of cleaning."

The man, taken back, says, "Excuse me sir. I'll let you know I have children at Harvard, Yale, and MIT."

The other man replies, "Oh really? I'm sorry, what classes are they taking?"

The janitor replies, "Nah, they're janitors."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the janitor quit his job

He was tired of everyone’s shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are war veterans and janitors alike?

You won't believe the shit they've seen!!

What do Janitors bikes sound like?

"Broom"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A janitor is cleaning the church.......

.....when suddenly the priest runs out of the confession booth.

He bumps into the janitor and tells him to cover for him because he had run to the bathroom.

Surprised, the janitor tells the priest that he doesn't know anything about confessions.

The priest hands him a sheet of p...

A man dies and finds himself in front of God. He sees Jesus sitting at his right hand and a janitor with a mop sitting to his left.

“Who are you?” the man asks the janitor.



“I’m Cleanliness.”

What do you call a janitor in space?

A vacuum cleaner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe the janitor reports for his first night of work at a funeral home.

One of his first tasks is to sweep and mop the embalming room floor while the embalmer is eating dinner. Joe is alone in the room, out of curiousness he looks under the sheet covering a corpse on the embalmers table. The body lays face down. With a giant cork protruding from the rectum. Joe taps on ...

The janitor at the zoo

A janitor at a zoo gets called into the managers office. The manager tells him they have to let him go due to budget issues. The janitor is set back and cries, "please, please let me keep my job! My mother is in the hospital and I have to pay her medical bills!" The manager scratches his chin for a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why should you never mess with a janitor cleaning a bathroom?

Cause when they plunge a toilet, shit goes down.

What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?

Dereliction of doodie.

Two monks werewere discussing humility.

"I have been praying and fasting, meditating and studying religion for 20 years. I have finally reached the level of humility. I am truly a nothing." said one monk.

The other monk nodded gravely. "I too have spent my life devoted to serving God. I am also a nothing."

At that moment a j...

Why did the janitor die?

He kicked the bucket

Why should you vote a janitor into public office?

If you want them to make sweeping changes.

The janitor at my work asked if I wanted to take a five minute break to go smoke weed with her.

I told her, 'No, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for a high maintainance woman."

Janitor in the church

The church janitor is cleaning the large overhead ducts from the inside when he notices a nun praying by herself and decides to have some fun. With the echo and a booming voice he proclaims "your prayers will answered", but the nun doesnt even flinch. He tries again "my child, your sins are forgiv...

Kindergarten janitor, Juan keeps running off to the tree outside because

123.

What do you call a small group of terrorists pretending to be janitors?

A sweeper cell.

The School Janitor

Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.

Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?

Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Janitor standin at the confession box

Father Paul had had a rather long day, listening to confessions from the members of his parish, and suddenly needed a break, and stepped out from the confession box and asked the janitor who was washing the floor.

"Hey Carl, could you make a standin for me, just ten min, I really need to go ...

Why did the janitor with a speech impediment miss his shift?

He overswept

What are jokes about janitors called?

Sweeping generalizations.

The janitor couldn't remember where he put the floor polisher

As a programmer, this isn't the first time I encountered a 'buffer allocation failure due to memory error'

A gorilla in a zoo was depressed.

The veterinarian tells the zookeeper "She is in heat and she really needs to be bred".

The zookeeper says "we don't have a male gorilla. I'm not sure...."

About that time a janitor walks by pushing a broom so the zookeeper pulls the elderly man to the side.

"Sir, would you mate ...

What does the suicide-bomber monk, who hates janitors but loves puns, do, before blowing himself up?

He looks at the closest custodian and says

"PEACE IS EVERYWHERE!"

To this day I remember the time my mom forgot to pick me up from school. The school was already empty, only the janitors were left. I cried but they gave me milk and cookies and told me that everything will be all right.

Worst high school experience ever...

My school janitor is a part-time pianist.

He has 88 keys.

The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars.

He made a clean getaway!

Why did the janitor file for a divorce?

He found his wife sweeping with someone else.

In The Military a janitor wanted to go out to the battlefield...

When the soldiers were getting ready for a battle the janitor told the general that he wanted to fight. The general gave him a broom and said "point this at the enemies and say 'bangity bang bang' and when they get close say 'stabbity stab stab'" "ok" the janitor replied. Once the janitor got out on...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Older gentleman walks into the brothel...

... He walks towards the brothel mama, as she greets him he says:

"I would like something special"

She looks at him with judging eye:

"Well we have something nobody else has, but it's quite pricey, are you sure you want it?"

He smiles:

"Don't worry, money are not p...

Johnson is a janitor for a big international company.

One day, as Johnson is sweeping the floors in the lobby of the main headquarters for the company, George Bush enters the building as he has a meeting with the CEO. He meets the CEO in the lobby but before entering the conference room, he greets Johnson, "Heeey Johnson! Nice to see you buddy!" After ...

A scientist, a doctor and a janitor discover an old lamp...

The scientist rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out! "Thank you for releasing me!" said the genie, "You can have anything you like, providing you do one days work of a different profession. You may choose what you want to do." The scientist goes first, "Well I've always thought that being a...

A woman walks in on the janitor using the women's washroom...

"What are you doing in here?"

"The men's room is filthy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, the janitor at the zoo is approached by the manager...

"Look, janitor", says the manager. "Our most popular gorilla just died, and its gonna be a couple of weeks before our new gorilla ships in. The kids come from all over just to see this gorilla, and our admission sales are gonna drop dramatically if we don't have a gorilla for the rest of the quarter...

Why did the janitor flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty.

What did the German janitor say when asked if his 11 AM appointment was outdoors?

Nein! Eleven was an inside job.

Two Polish janitors are unhappy because they always get passed over for promotions.

Anatol and Artur are two Polish janitors. They always seem to get passed over for promotions. They discuss the issue and decide that Artur will ask the boss about it.

Artur goes to his boss. "Why are me an Anatol always passed over for promotions? We work hard."

The boss says, "It's no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a janitor at a church...

Who was cleaning up one night while the priest gave confession,

The Priest was sick and had to leave, and asked the janitor to finish up the last few confessions,

The janitor reluctantly agreed.

He just listened to confessions and followed a chart with the punishments,

On...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the horny Asian janitor?

First he wax on, then he wax off!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.