A group of bricklayers a fixing up a nunnery

The abbess tells the sister cook to to cook up a meal for the hard working men, but before she gives it to them she should test their knowlege of the Bible. So she cooks lunch and carries it out to the workers. She spots one of them and asks him

"Good man, do you know Pontius Pilate?"

...

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The Bricklayer's Accident Report

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
Dear Sir:


I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as...

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I once gave a plumber, a carpenter and a bricklayer a hand job at the same time.

I guess you could call me a jack off all trades.

What do you call a volunteer bricklayer?

A freemason.

What does an Australian bricklayer wear at work?

A bloody hell, mate!

My friend is dating an Italian bricklayer.

It's cement to be.

An old granny and her grand daughter are chatting about granpa

-Did you love him, granma?
-Oh yes, i loved him so much. He was all my life, even tough he was so lazy.
-How come?
-You see, everytime there was something not working, he would never do anything about It. "Al, the sink Is broken." "Do i look like a plumber?" He would reply. "Hon, a brick fe...

Did you hear about the Greek bricklayer who lied a lot?

He would always con Crete.

Joke from my neighbour, Slade.

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Three young college kids on break for summer vacation decided to explore the far ends of the world and see what unique stories and legends they could experience.

Upon their journey, they find a small town filled with families and friends who have lived there for generations on end. The three talk it over and decide it would be fun to stay the night and go chat with the locals to see what transpires.

After checking into the lodge they proceed to unpac...

I used to date a Bricklayers daughter..

Cement the world to me.

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Seamus is at the pub with a row of whiskey shots lined up in front of him, looking depressed as ever.

A newcomer to the small town, looking to make friends, sits down next to Seamus and asks him what's wrong.
 
Without looking at the newcomer, Seamus downs a shot and in his thick Irish brogue says "I've lived in this town me whole life. You see the sidewalk out front? I laid every brick with m...

What do you call a bricklayer at a funeral home?

A mortician.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a scaffolding eating lunch.

An electrician, a bricklayer, and a welder are sitting on a high rise scaffolding on their lunch break. They all open their lunches to find baloney sandwiches. The electrician sighs and says

"I hate baloney, my wife knows I hate baloney, yet every day I end up with this sandwich. If I get on...

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The Bricklayer

An old man walks into a bar and approaches the bartender.

Bartender: "Hey, can I get you anything?"

Old Man: "No no no... You see that brick wall back there? I laid that wall brick, by brick, by brick, but nobody calls me the bricklayer."

The bartender acknowledges this and move...

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My visit to a redneck strip club (NSFW)

I was driving through America and I was getting tired so I parked my UHaul at motel and noticed that there was a strip club next door. Being bored and having some time to kill -I went next door and found an empty seat in front of a pole dancer.

The guy next to me was this really burly guy wi...

A Scotsman is drinking at the bar.

"I've been layin' bricks fer twenty years" he said in a dejected tone.

"But they don't call me McGregor the bricklayer do they?!" He sipped his drink and continued.

"I've bin paintin' hooses fer thirty-five years." He continued to sip his drink, his inflection getting angrier and more ...

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A duck goes into a bar, approaches the counter, and orders a sandwich

He says to the bartender 'listen, I'm a bricklayer on the construction site nearby, the works will last for some time and I'll be coming here every day around lunchtime for a sandwich , so think about some discount or something?

The bartender, shocked as he has never encountered a talking duc...

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Jobs of our fathers

The principal of a school was to inspect one of the classes in her school. Before the inspection the head teacher goes to the class and tells the students that to every question from the principal, they need to give an illustrious answer even if it's not true.

The principal arrives. She goes...

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