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I once gave a plumber, a carpenter and a bricklayer a hand job at the same time.

I guess you could call me a jack off all trades.

What do you call a volunteer bricklayer?

A freemason.

My friend is dating an Italian bricklayer.

It's cement to be.

What does an Australian bricklayer wear at work?

A bloody hell, mate!

Did you hear about the Greek bricklayer who lied a lot?

He would always con Crete.

Joke from my neighbour, Slade.

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A bricklayer wrote to the worker's compensation board.

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional
information. In block number three of the accident report form, I put “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details...

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Seamus is at the pub with a row of whiskey shots lined up in front of him, looking depressed as ever.

A newcomer to the small town, looking to make friends, sits down next to Seamus and asks him what's wrong.
 
Without looking at the newcomer, Seamus downs a shot and in his thick Irish brogue says "I've lived in this town me whole life. You see the sidewalk out front? I laid every brick with m...

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The Bricklayer

An old man walks into a bar and approaches the bartender.

Bartender: "Hey, can I get you anything?"

Old Man: "No no no... You see that brick wall back there? I laid that wall brick, by brick, by brick, but nobody calls me the bricklayer."

The bartender acknowledges this and move...

What do you call a bricklayer at a funeral home?

A mortician.

I used to date a Bricklayers daughter..

Cement the world to me.

A Scotsman is drinking at the bar.

"I've been layin' bricks fer twenty years" he said in a dejected tone.

"But they don't call me McGregor the bricklayer do they?!" He sipped his drink and continued.

"I've bin paintin' hooses fer thirty-five years." He continued to sip his drink, his inflection getting angrier and more ...

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My visit to a redneck strip club (NSFW)

I was driving through America and I was getting tired so I parked my UHaul at motel and noticed that there was a strip club next door. Being bored and having some time to kill -I went next door and found an empty seat in front of a pole dancer.

The guy next to me was this really burly guy wi...

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A duck goes into a bar, approaches the counter, and orders a sandwich

He says to the bartender 'listen, I'm a bricklayer on the construction site nearby, the works will last for some time and I'll be coming here every day around lunchtime for a sandwich , so think about some discount or something?

The bartender, shocked as he has never encountered a talking duc...

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Jobs of our fathers

The principal of a school was to inspect one of the classes in her school. Before the inspection the head teacher goes to the class and tells the students that to every question from the principal, they need to give an illustrious answer even if it's not true.

The principal arrives. She goes...

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