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Electrician Jokes

The lights in my house just went out, so I have to call an electrician....

I am unable to deal with the current situation..

What’s the difference between God and an electrician?

God doesn’t think he’s an electrician.

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I thought being an electrician would be cool.

Getting to hangout with a bunch of strippers and dikes all day long.


But really you're just grabbing and twisting nuts all day.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and an electrician?

Ask them how they pronounce unionized.

I asked an electrician to fix the electricity in my house...

He Re-fused.

a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar

it was queen and they were playing their first gig

Did you hear about the delusional electrician?

Turns out, he wasn't properly **grounded** in reality.

An electrician comes home late....

Wife: "Wire you insulate?"

Electrician: "Watts it to you? I'm ohm, aren't I."

An electrician went to the buzzfeed headquarters,

He was asked to come because a power box was malfunctioning, He went to the reception and told them that he was there to fix the problem ,he was told to wait a minute . So he sat down at the reception. He saw that most of the people working there were in their twenties. He then wondered how advanced...

I had a friend that didn't listen but wanted to be a electrician

Bet you he's in for a shock

I used to be a theatrical electrician

We had a joke that went:

How tall is an electrician?
Beats me, I never saw one stand up.

The electrician finished fixing my lights

I told him he really brightened my day.

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My ex-wife cheated on me with the plumber, the electrician, and carpenter

She was a jack off all trades

A Zen novice called for an electrician.

Upon arrival at the monk's apartment, the electrician asked how he could be of assistance.

"I'm having trouble with this brand-new lamp that I just bought," the novice said. "I've tested the outlet, I've flipped every switch, and I still can't get it to work."

The electrician examined ...

What happenes when you beat up an electrician?

You get charged with battery

Why did the electrician punch a hole in the wall?

He needed an outlet.

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An electrician comes home to his wife after working a job at a millionaires house...

He says to his wife “honey you will not believe this, the house I worked at today had a golden toilet.”

She says “Really? I need to see this.”

They take a ride across the neighborhood and pull up in front of a huge house.

The electrician knocks on the door, a woman answers and ...

I fell in love with an electrician

I couldn't resist her

The power cut in my building was fixed immediately by the electrician

I couldn't hold a candle to his efficiency

I just found out the electrician I hired is unlicensed.

Needless to say, I was shocked!

A Chemist, an Engineer, an Electrician and an IT guy get stranded on the side of the road after their car break down...

It’s the dead of winter and the wind chill is below freezing. One of them gets off the phone with the towing company, “they said it’s going to be at least two hours.” They all stay in the car.


After a few minutes the Chemist tells the other three, “I’m pretty sure I know what happened......

Electrician Joke

High Voltage Electrician: "This job sucks! We never have enough supplies!"

Boss: "You're out of line!"

What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician

Sherlock Ohms

(sorry if this is repost, I thought of it in class)

Why do Electricians never get to hang out with their friends?

Because they're always grounded!

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A wife is tired of all the problems that need fixing in her house

She asks her husband, "Can you please fix the leak in the bathroom? ", the husband says "Do i look like a plumber?"

She asks him "Well can you please fix the light in the living room, its been flickering for ages?", he replies "Do i look like and electrician?"

Growing tired she asks hi...

I'm a bad electrician

And when people find out, they're so shocked.

Which is an electrician favorite band ?

AC/DC

An electrician gets tired of being looked down upon for his profession

so he uses the money he has saved up to become a doctor.

As a resident, he always stood out amongst a crowd that was still mostly younger rich kids who could afford medical school somehow right out of high school and undergrad.

One day in particular, the hospital fire alarm got yanke...

What happened to the intern electrician after accidentally shocking himself bc he forgot to wear PPE?

He was grounded.

I didn’t realise how difficult it was being an electrician until I tried it myself

I was shocked

Why has no electrician ever gone to the International Space Station?

They don't think it's safe. None of the wiring runs to ground.

What’s an electrician’s favorite store?

The electrical outlet!

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What does an electrician call his hot therapist?

A heat shrink

What do an electrician and a mortician have in common?

They’re both shocked when they touch a live one.

What kind of car does an electrician drive?

A volts-wagen

What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?

That Hertz!

Why was the electrician so excited to go shopping with his wife?

She said they were going to the outlet mall.

A lawyer, a doctor, a cop, an electrician, a plumber walks into a bar.

**Bartender asks "So what will you have Johnny Sins?"**

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

Have you heard the one about the electrician making a mistake

I hear it's shocking

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What did they call the man who gave a handjob to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?

A Jack Off All Trades

I found being an electrician interesting

But the work was shocking.

An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why...

He said he couldn't resist.

I used to date an electrician...

Boy, she could really light up a room!

Four guys were driving in a car, an engineer, electrician, plumber and an IT guy

The car suddenly stops working.

The engineer suggest to check the belts, fluids etc...

The electrician suggest to check the battery and alternator...

The plumber suggest to check the fuel level, pump and filter...

Last, the IT guys says lets get out, lock the doors, unl...

I fell in love with a female electrician

She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me

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I've made up my mind. I'm choosing a career path as an electrician.

I just found out they get to work with dikes and strippers.

My grandfather was an electrician during WWII.

His uniform had a helmet with two thunderbolts on it

A Mathematician, an Electrician and a Lawyer are having a job interview.

The Interviewer asked the three Men, "What's the answer to one plus one?"

The Mathematician instantly replied, "Two!"

The Electrician went away, measured lots of things, and eventually came back and gladly said, "Two"

The lawyer looked around, closed the door, leaned in towards ...

Why did the electrician get killed in a debate?

He used conductive reasoning.

My electrician was bad at his job but he loved me to death

Which is why I was in shock when he died.

Where do electricians go when their job is done?

They go h-ohm.

Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?

He kept on turning negatives into positives.

What did the electrician say to reassure his apprentice?

You conduit!

A local electrician was arrested and charged for battery, yesterday.

And spent the night in a dry cell.

2 builders, 4 plumber, and an electrician walk into a bar.

I really shouldn't have moved that hazard sign.

Today i discovered my electrician was unqualified

I was shocked

I’ve been in the army for the last year and I’m home visiting my girlfriend. I come home and find my friend that is an electrician’s work truck outside my girlfriends house.

I guess he’s fixing a “clap-on,clap-off” light bulb because I can hear them clapping from outside.

I lost my job as an electrician.

They said that I re-fused too much work.

If Usain Bolt was an electrician...

His name would be Usain Volt

How to tell apart a good electrician from a bad one

One is 16 feet above and one is 6 feet below ground

An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.

He died before he even knew watts up.

My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician

He never conducted himself positively at work

Why did the electrician join Facebook?

So he could post his current status.

What do you call a freelance electrician?

A solderer of fortune.

I saw an electrician accidentally electrocuting himself today; you might say he was...

killed.

My friend the electrician

I had this friend in school. Great guy, always cracking jokes. Life of the party. But after we finished school, we went our separate ways. I went off to university, he became an electrician. About a year later, we were both in our home town, so we decided to catch up. It was just like old times, he ...

I met a really bad electrician at the bar last night...

At first there were some sparks, but he ended up saying some pretty nasty things to me and I left shocked.

An electrician installed two aeriels on the same roof . . .

The aeirels quickly fell in love, went on many dates and were soon married. The wedding went off without a hitch . . .

But there was no reception.

Electrician goes into coma after coming in contact with power lines.

“He should be fine,” say the doctors. “He’s just taking a power nap.”

How does electrician turn down services

He refuses it.

Today I found out that the electrician didn't connect the protective grounding system at my home.

I was shocked.

The electrician is married to his job

He loves it so much, that you could say between them, sparks fly

An electrician tells the engineer, “I wired everything exactly according to the drawing and I flip the switch and there’s no current.”

“Yes, I see the problem,” The engineer responds. “We just can’t draw any current.”

My frugal neighbor doesn't want to pay for an electrician to re-wire his house so he's going to try and do it himself. "How hard can it be?" he said.

I think he's in for a shock.

One Day At School,

The teacher asked the kids to stand and tell the class what their Father does for a living, spell the occupation and let everyone know what your Dad would do if he was here in the classroom.
First, came Sue. She stands up and says, "My Father is a Baker. B-A-K-E-R. And if he were here today, he w...

You shouldn't try being your own electrician

This piece of advice shouldn't shock you

A chemist, a mechanic, a electrician, and a programmer were driving in a car when it broke down.

"This must be because we've mixed the wrong fuel additive!" said the chemist.



"Bollocks!" said the mechanic. "This is clearly a mechanical problem. There must be something wrong with the engine."



"Both of you are wrong. The problem lies with the car wiring and the batte...

I confessed to my family I am not actually an electrician.

My sister was shocked.

Why did the electrician become a news anchor?

He's always had a knack for current events.

What social media site does an electrician use

Ohmegle

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A philosopher, an electrician and a redneck walk into a bar

And they started arguing what was the fastest thing ever:

- From my point of view - says the philosopher - it's the thought, it has gone through your mind before you even notice it!

- Well - Says the electrician - to me, it's electricity, the moment you turn the lights on, they're on! ...

Two electrician friends meet at the hardware store after work

and chat about LED fixtures and other areas of illuminating rooms for a few hours. When the one electrician returns home to his wife that asks what took so long, he replies

"Me and my friend were just having a light conversation at the store."

Did you hear about the recently unemployed electrician?

Apparently he's now ohm-less.

A Mexican electrician accidentally touched a live wire.

He suffered a Corona discharge.

An electrician goes to a fortune teller.

When he arrives, the fortune teller says
"Look into this crystal ball and you will see how you die". When the electrician looks into the ball, he couldn't believe what he saw. He was shocked.

I am a damn good electrician

Otherwise I would be dead

What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.

Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.

Two electricians are up on a pole

A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny:

— Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?

The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then states to the other:

— Told you it was the ground.

10 things electricians don't want you to learn to DIY!

Number 4 is truly shocking

I really like Electricians.

They are so electrocute

A mechanic, an electrician and a software developer were in a car.

The car stops working.

-It's the carburetor, says the mechanic. We just have to get down and clean it.

-It's the ignition, says the electrician. We have to check the spark plugs and we'll make it work.

-"Guys, I propose getting out of the car and getting back in and maybe it wi...

What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high?

The electrician knows where the ground is.

The last words of an electrician

"Yeah you can turn it on, it is proven."

Electricians and Gynecologists

Electricians and Gynecologists have the same job description.

They both remove your shorts and check your box.

Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.

"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."

"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."

"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the thi...

How many deaf electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Watt?

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Saw a joke over at r/electricians today whilst on the port a potty!

So I was on the jonny, and I shit you not, there in front of me on the shitter door was a note that said,"toilet tennis, look left!

I looked left and it read,"look right!"

I laughed so hard I shit myself, which was ok givin the location!

2 electricians got into an argument..

It went on for 5 days.. they just couldn't find any common ground.

Shocking.

a joke thats originally in arabic, but I think translates well.

3 men are smoking weed when the cops show up. Panicked, one hides undrneath a car, the other climbs up a telephone pole, and the last hides under a donkey.

The cops find the first guy and ask him if he was smoking weed, and he replies "im just a mechanic, and havent smoked a day in my life" s...

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet

Shocking i know

What's an electrician's favourite fruit?

Currants!

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” The third one says, “I wanna be a boxer.” The others look con...

How do you make an electrician sad

You kill his daughter.

Have you heard the one about the electricians triplets?

An electrician is working on a light in his house. His heavily pregnant wife receives a call from the doctor, who informs her that she is having triplets. Overjoyed at the news she rushes into the room where her husband is working.


“Honey, the doctor called. We’re having triplets! What s...

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

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