Car Salesman Jokes

Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Haudi

His lips are moving.

A used car salesman knows when he's lying.

Three men, childhood friends, are looking to get new cars. They travel to an odd-looking dealership. They approach the salesman.

Salesman: Greetings, gentlemen. How may I help you today?

The respond that they want new cars.

Salesman: Very well. Answer me one question, and I shal... read more

A car salesman is showing some fine cars for sale, and the buyer is looking at them.

"Well, this one is a fine 1951 Hudson Hornet," says the car salesman.

The buyer gasps, "A Hudson HORNET? Well, I wouldn't want to see a Hudson Wasp!"

The salesman brushes it off and shows him t... read more

Bosnian guy called Sakib just started working as a car salesman in Germany.

First day passes by and Sakib sells 10 cars to some Chinese guys. His boss is shocked, and then ask him: "Sakib, how did you sell 10 cars?" To which Sakib replies: "Boss, all people around the globe know me." Boss jus... read more

The interviewer handed me his laptop and said, “Here, sell this to me.”
I took the laptop and stuck it in my bag and left. Three hours later he called and asked for his laptop back. I said, “You want to buy it back?”

His name was Cardi Laship

"Buy this car and pay no interest for a year!"
"That's stupid". I said, "why the hell would I buy something that I'm not going to be interested in for an entire year?!"

Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.

Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sel... read more

Upon arriving at the pearly gates, Jesus said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. I really think you'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed that there were clocks everywhere. It appeared that Heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how H... read more

They're sitting at the salesman's desk negotiating the price on a car, when my dad looks at him and says, "You know, if you get me the right price, my finger can be a lot smaller when your next appointment comes around".

This baby can fit so many damn reposts in it!

He meets a shady car salesman and the man asks him for help selling his car. He explained that he wants to sell his car but the mileage is too high.

“How high is the mileage?” The salesman asked, the man replied with “135,000 miles.” The salesman thinks for a minute, then replies with “If you... read more

The car salesman says, “you can pick it up in four years time.”


The man asks, “in the morning or the afternoon?”

Salesman: “does it matter?”

Man: “well the plumber is coming in the afternoon...”

The salesman approaches him and starts asking questions about what they were looking for

After some questioning the car salesman says
"Cargo Space?"

The Chinese man replied "Car no go space! Car stay on ground"

A snail walks into a car dealership. The car salesman greets the snail politely and asks what he’s looking for. The snail says that he just wants a really fast car, and the salesman shows him the ones with a high max speed. He slaps the roof of one, and says “this is the last one that’s built for sp... read more

I’m a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model

When i landed in New York the TSA asked me “are you here for business or pleasure”
I responded “I’m here for the new 911”

Head car salesman Jeff, having just had a heart to heart with bottom performer Larry about how important getting his next sale was to keeping his job, walked back out onto the sales lot and into a sight that nearly caused him to have a coronary.

Larry, considered dim even by using LED bulb wa... read more

A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?"

I said, "It has to be affordable"

He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."