An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.

They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.

"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist....

How did Christian Bale get so skinny for "The Machinist"?

He's a methhead actor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do machinists leave so quickly after sex?

They just screw, nut, and bolt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had the strangest visitors this halloween…

As I opened the door, there stood three men. One butt naked with only a glass jar over his pecker, one in overalls and one furiously masturbating.

After overcoming my initial shock, I asked the man in overalls what the fuck they were doing here. He replied:”hey, sweetie, wanna do it machinist...

(warning machinist humor). Did you hear about the guy that applied for a job running a lathe?

They turned him down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men were discussing their favorite sex styles

Man 1: I usually go doggy style or cowgirl. It’s just the easiest for me.

Man 2: Then you never had it in machinists style. You gotta try that it’s the best.

Man 1: What do you do in the machinist style?

Man 2: Screw, nut and bolt.

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