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Promotion Jokes

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The Promotion

I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

"Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly" she said "I don't want you choosing someone who you're ...

How did Lieutenant Worf get his promotion?

He was hoisted by his own Picard

Just got a promotion on the farm

I'm the new C.I.E.I.O

I uninstalled Facebook as I got depressed seeing my friends post their relationship and marriage.

I uninstalled LinkedIn as I got depressed seeing my colleague post their job change and promotion.

I uninstalled instagram as I got depressed seeing my friends travel and enjoy their lives.

But I'll never uninstall reddit because you guys are more miserable than me .

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion??

Because he was outstanding In his field

Promotion

The boss called one of his employees into the office... : The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted...

Did you hear about Bigfoot's promotion at work?

He had big shoes to fill.

PROMOTION

Employee: Sir, I hope it’s okay that I replace the former manager who just died.
Boss: I’m totally fine with it. But maybe the funeral home won’t allow it.

The truth about job promotions

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey, congratulations on the job promotion!" the bartender says. "Thanks. But you know, success in life is kind of like being pregnant," the guy replies. "Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were screwed."

My friend was upset that he was passed over for promotion at work by an attractive older colleague.

I said, “Don’t cry over skilled milf.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Promotional Offer

One night a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. "Hello, I want a single room for the night please."

"Fine, sir, here's one of our best rooms. Room 13," says the concierge and hands him the key.

The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. At about 2 o'clock in the m...

Did you hear about the lumberjack who got a promotion?

Now he's a branch manager.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jhonny worked for the mafia and received a promotion...

...to be part of the Boss' security detail. He was assigned to patrol the interior of the Boss' house.

The Boss' daughter saw the fresh meat and wanted a piece of that. She called him into her room and they started to make out. Right when things were getting good the Boss entered the room and...

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion

"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.

"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.

"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.

"Yes, and then?" asked...

Why did a blonde turn down a promotion

She didn't wan't to break the glass ceiling

Promotion

Boss: Congratulations! I'm promoting you to manage our Montreal office!


Young man (disappointed): But sir! There's nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.


Boss (now insulted): I'll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!


Young man (think...

Dairy Queen should have had a Harry Potter promotion.

You're a blizzard Dairy.

I've a joke on promotion at Jobs

But you won't get it

About 6 months ago I got a promotion

So naturally I wanted to celebrate. On my way home I grabbed a handle of captain and a litre of cola. I invited my friend Frank to have a few drinks with me. We ordered a pizza, played some Mariokart, got drunk and passed out. Nothing crazy.

The next morning Frank was still there (he usually ...

Why did the boss give the hovercraft a promotion?

Because he works tirelessly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Southern Gas Station Promotion

A gas station owner near Camden , Alabama was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he wo...

I told my boss I think I deserve a promotion

He said that's why I'm not the boss.

The board of directors for Old McDonald’s Farm has decided to give me a promotion.

I’m the new C-I-E-I-O.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sitting on the examination table, a man says “D-D-Doctor I have a t-terrible st-t-utter and it ruins my p-p-professional and p-p-personal life.”

The doctor checks him out almost everywhere but sees no problem.

He says “take off your pants for me”.

The man hesitates but abides.

The doctor inspects him and says “I see! Your penis is about 6 inches too long, it’s pulling on your vocal chords and causing you to stutter”. ...

A hard worker got a promotion.

Thats the joke.

Bakeries often ask me to pose for promotional photos with their products.

Apparently I'm an excellent roll model

A penguin and a giraffe were fighting for a promotion

Giraffe got promoted because people looked up to him!

If you really want a promotion at work, all you have to do is walk into your office shouting, "Vodka! Tequila! Sambuca!" at the top of your lungs...

This will make you the person who calls the shots...

My roofing business is having a great promotion right now...

If you buy one roof, the next one is on the house.

I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.

Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.

What did the assassin say when his co-worker got the promotion?

I would've killed for that position lol

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man got a promotion...

So his crew took him out to celebrate. But his wife made him promise not to get drunk. So obviously he gets wasted and throws up down the front of his shirt. He tells his boss what happened. "Here take this money to get your shirt cleaned, and tell your wife that a drunk puked on you." His boss han...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bar had a promotional challenge...

... in which a person had to go through 3 rooms and finish the task related with each room. The person who could go through all three rooms would win $10,000. The task associated with the rooms were as followed:

First room: drink 10 liters of tequila.

Second room: Kill a tiger with you...

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