This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Warning to all men about purchasing stuff on eBay. Be careful what you buy on eBay.

If you buy stuff on line, be sure to check out the seller very carefully.

I just spent £95 + post and packaging. on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight."

Was thinking of purchasing some vacant real estate near my house so my wife could begin gardening after the holiday season.

But she said "I don't want a lot for Christmas."

Why did the Hispanic man keep purchasing trains?

I'm not quite sure myself honestly but he has to have some sort of locomotive.

Why Was The Baker So Depressed About Purchasing Containers That Only Fit 12 Donuts?

If you ask him he will give you 13 Reasons Why.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend of mine was asking about purchasing viagra...

He said: “Do you know if it’s possible to get it over the counter?”

I said: “Well, I guess it depends how many you take...”

When my wife goes out shopping she like to sample things before purchasing.

She is buy-curious.

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl... One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor.

After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home finds herself in a local gun shop, purchasing a handgun. The next day she awakens with renewed vengeance for her lover's betrayal. She dresses and...

The one thing I know about purchasing land:

You have to buy a lot.

Even though it’s a surplus store, I’m pretty proud of myself for going into Costco and purchasing only ONE item.

A single package of 160 AA batteries.

Purchasing a rain barrel often leads to buying more water collecting devices

I guess you could say a rain barrel is a gateway jug.

(Modified from a story heard on NPR) : )

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