A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the...

It was late at night and the salesman had been driving for a while

The rain was as heavy as his eyelids and, as he nodded off and lost control. The car swerved left, then right before crashing upside down into a ditch.

The guy came round, the water in the ditch lapping round his head, he pulled himself loose, feeling the blood running down his head. He stagg...

I was looking for a sofa to buy, and the salesman pointed to one and said, “This one can seat three people without any problems.”

I said, “Where the hell am I going to find three people without any problems?”

What does a hat salesman drink to get him going in the morning?

A cappuccino.

Traveling salesman walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Why the long face?"

The salesman replies "Amazon.

Did you hear about the travelling pasta salesman?

His commission was penne's on the dollar

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A Finnish salesman comes to Russia to sell chainsaws to local lumberjacks.

“With this saw a good lumberjack can cut down 40 trees an hour and not even get tired” says the salesman.

The lumberjacks, thinking that sounds pretty good, place an order for 50 chainsaws.

At first they are delighted but then the miracle wears off as they notice the Finnish salesman...

I bet the first thing you learn as a radio salesman is

stereotypes.

A man is wandering the dessert, having lost his way, when he comes across a friendly looking salesman with a suitcase.

'Good day to you, good sir', the salesman greets him.
'Water, please!' is all the man manages to say through his sore throat.

'Oh, I'm afraid I don't have any water on me. But I can offer you one of these stylish ties.' With that he opens his suitcase and presents a collection of colored t...

Salesman: "Ma'am, this vacuum cleaner is so great it will cut all your work by half!"

Woman: "That's fantastic! Give me two."

I got fired on my first day as a car salesman

Customer: "cargo space?"

Me: " no, car no fly, car go roads"

Manager: " can I see you in my office?"

A travelling salesman passes a field and sees a pig with 3 legs

A travelling salesman passes a field and sees a pig with 3 legs. Intrigued, he pulls up to the farm house and asks the farmer, "What's up with that 3-legged pig?"

The farmer gets all misty-eyed and says, "Let me tell you 'bout that pig. A few years ago, we were all asleep when a fire broke ...

A traveling salesman is driving down a country road one day, and spies a farmhouse with a pig sty just off the front porch.

Finding this to be a little odd, he slows down to take a closer look, and sees a single, well cared-for pig in the sty. Odder still, on closer inspection, he sees that the pig has one wooden leg.

Consumed with curiosity, he heads up the driveway to the farmer's home, hops out of his car, and ...

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NSFW A handsome traveling salesman stops at this farmhouse.

After a long wait at the door finally a young woman with no arms or legs shows up at the door in an electric wheelchair.

"Sorry Mister there's no one at home but me for the next few hours, but I would like to ask you a favor."

"Alright young lady, what can I do for you?"

"Well y...

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I’d like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman. “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I’d like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied again.

She went home and got a haircut and new color, a new outfit, big sunglasses and a big hat. She then waited a few days before s...

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A joke I learned as a car salesman

What do you call nuts on your wall?

Walnuts!

What do you call nuts on your chest?

Chestnuts!

What do you call nuts on your chin?

My dick in your mouth!

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.

Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.

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A salesman knocks on a door...

A teenage boy answers the door wearing heels, panties, a bra and has makeup on. The salesman says, "um, are your parents home?

The kid says," What the fuck do you think? "

I was the number one tire salesman over 12 out of 15 quarters

They were mostly Good years

What does a a cowboy car salesman say

*tips hat* Audi

A young salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen answers, dressed in only a slinky negligee. She asks "Do you like what you see?" Slack jawed, the man finally manages to stutter "uh... yes, very much!"

She says "Quickly, step inside, I think I hear someone coming."

Once inside the beautiful woman drops her negligee and is completely naked. With a smile she asks "What do you think is the most sensitive part of my body?"

The salesman says "I guess that would have to be your ears."...

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A traveling salesman employs a man with a stutter to sell toothbrushes...

His expectations are low for this guy, so he gives him a couple dozen toothbrushes to sell, expecting him to flop out.

To his surprise, the man returns in an hour with all the money. "S-s-sold then a-all!", he says.

The salesman chalks it up to beginners luck, and hands the stutterin...

A travelling salesman was driving down a back road...

...when he saw a man in overalls, standing in an orchard, holding something that looked quite heavy up next to an apple tree. He decided to pull over and see what was going on.

He climbed over a fence and, as he got nearer, he realized that a farmer was holding a huge pig up about shoulder h...

Best Salesman of the year

At a sales conference, one of the awards went to Matthew for best salesman. He’d sold a record quantity of mouthwash. After he’d been presented with his award, he was asked for the secret of his success.

“Oh it’s simple really,” said Matthew. “I set up a mobile stall during rush-hour and give...

A mans wife left him for a tractor salesman.

She wrote him a John Deere letter.

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A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him, so he walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing...

She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole and you’re a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.”

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached the lady, again with the same request.

She said, “I’m on the 14th, you are a hole...

A salesman was travelling through the countryside,

selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that b...

Bought a Christmas tree today. The salesman asked if I was going to put it up myself.

I said no, in my living room

(Morbid) As a mortician, I try to be an honest salesman...

So a couple came in needing a casket for their dead baby. They had already browsed through our catalog as I walked up trying my best to be my most sensitive. They whispered to me through tears that they had picked out a beautiful casket for their dear beloved son. I had a conundrum to face. Afte...

If a health food salesman comes to your door ...

... Vitamin!

("Invite - him - in")

... never mind.

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A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares.

As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a boy sitting on the stoop. "Is your mother home?", he asked.

"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him pass. The salesman rang the bell three times but got no response. He then knocked on the door loudly but got no answer. Exaspe...

A salesman was driving the back roads one day, when he saw the strangest thing...

While driving dusty back roads looking for his next sale, this Salesman noticed a chicken was running along side the road. Now, the guy didn't think much of that, you tend to see chickens in rural communities... but this one was strange. The chicken was keeping up with the car, even though the guy w...

I shouldn’t have bought balloons from a salesman with commitment issues.

There were no strings attached.

What do you call a bike tire salesman?

A Spokesperson.

A vacuum salesman knocked on a newly built home

A lady opened the door. The salesman rushed into the home and threw rotten scrambled eggs, fries and hot dogs on the carpet floor. Before the lady said anything, the salesman said "Mam, the vacuum i have is the best in business. I'll vacuum every single thing and also ensure there is no odor. If i f...

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A salesman finds himself at a farm.

And the farmer catches him getting amorous with the farmers daughter. So the farmer whacks him over the head, knocking him out.

He wakes up that afternoon, tied up naked to a pole in the barn. He spends the whole night tied up. The next morning, the farmer comes out and asks, "well now, ho...

Little Johnny yells upstairs: "Dad, there's a salesman here with a moustache."

"Tell him I've got one."

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A traveling salesman is going door to door selling vaccum cleaners.

He goes up to one house, rings the bell and waits for an answer. The door opens and standing in front of him is a lil boy, who cannot be anymore than 7 years old. In one hand he's got a pint of beer and hanging out of his mouth is a lit cigar.

"Little boy, are your parents at home?" The sales...

The traveling salesman's toast

To all the kisses I've snatched ...


and vice versa.

Bosnian guy called Sakib just started working as a car salesman in Germany

Bosnian guy called Sakib just started working as a car salesman in Germany.

First day passes by and Sakib sells 10 cars to some Chinese guys. His boss is shocked, and then ask him: "Sakib, how did you sell 10 cars?" To which Sakib replies: "Boss, all people around the globe know me." Boss jus...

Why did the exotic perfume salesman continue going out during lockdown?

He had no common scents

Rick, a salesman, specilized in real estate. As he was talking to a client names Down about a property. The client said to Rick...

"Never in my life have i seen such a pretty house!"

"Gonna buy it?" asked Rick.

"Give me the paperwork" said Down. "I'm gonna."

"You made the right choice." said Rick, while grinning a grin. What he had neglected to tell his client was thay the upstairs was completly damaged....

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A traveling salesman knocks on a door and a little boy answers.

The boy is wearing a women’s nightgown, drinking brandy from a snifter, and smoking a joint.

Stunned, the salesman says, ‘excuse me, are your parents home?’

The little boy replies,
‘What the fuck do you think?’

I was so close to buying my dream car, I just had one final question for the salesman

“Cargo space?” I asked

After a second of confusion, he replies: “Car no do that. Car go road.”

Three men meet a weird car salesman.

Three men, childhood friends, are looking to get new cars. They travel to an odd-looking dealership. They approach the salesman.

Salesman: Greetings, gentlemen. How may I help you today?

The respond that they want new cars.

Salesman: Very well. Answer me one question, and I shal...

A man had just accepted his new job as a door-to-door Bible salesman

and was introducing himself to his new co-workers.

It quickly became clear that the man had a severe stutter and the other workers began to make fun of him for it. But by the end of the week when the man had sold over 1,000 Bibles, the other workers were very impressed and stopped making fun ...

A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.

The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY! The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says: “What’s that noise?”

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing.

A sign read: "Don't Miss "The Amazing Italian".
The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, Under The Big Top, in the Centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Italian.

Suddenly, the old man dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male member...

What is the difference between a car salesman and a person with Alzheimer?

What is the difference between a car salesman and a person with Alzeimer?

Today I went to buy a new car. I asked the salesman a short question: “Cargo space?”

He looked at me and said: “No car no do that car no fly”

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Did you hear about the musical based on Death of a Salesman that had a happy ending?

It’s called How to Succeed in Business without Willy Dying...

New Salesman

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best ...

What did the blind salesman ask the customer?

What type of blinds are you looking for?

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Jim Bob and the Blow Job Frog

A man is selling frogs in a box for $100 each. A sign says “Blow Job Frogs $100”.

Jim Bob walks up and looks in the box “No way one of those frogs is worth $100.”

Salesman “Take one down the alley and try it; If you don’t like it put it back and leave.”

Jim Bob does and comes b...

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A salesman trying to sell vacuum cleaners knocks on the door and the mother answers

Before she can say two words, the salesman pushes past her and throws a bag of horse shit on the carpet. The mother is understandably furious.

\- What the HELL do you think you're doing?!

The salesman doesn't lose his composure, after all, he's confident in his product.

\- Ma'am...

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A salesman comes knocking...

After a fair bit of time and some noises that sounded like stumbling about, the door opens.

Coming from the house was loud jazz flute music and the distinct smell of weed.

The salesman looked down to see a kid standing impatiently at the door with what looked to be an exhausted meth-h...

What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?

A used car salesman knows when he's lying.

A salesman gets a flat tire in front of the insane asylum.

As he changes the tire a guy on the other side of the fence sits watching him.
In the process of changing the tire the salesman kicks the nuts holding the wheel and loses the nuts in a the stream next to the road.
Raging about and cursing his luck he's interrupted by the guy on the other sid...

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A travelling salesman drives through a small town he's never been to before...

He pulls up at the gas station where an old Native America man is sitting. The salesman walks up and says, "How!"

"Hello," the old Native guy says.

"What's your story?" the salesman asks.

"I have the world's greatest memory. I never forget a thing."

"Oh really?" the sales...

[At auto store] Salesman: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 brand new tires?

Me: Sir, you are really overestimating my strength.

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What's the difference between an oyster salesman with tourettes, and a prostitute with diarrhea?

Well, one shucks between fits...

A bible salesman won top sales award

But people are confused because he is famously known for being so timid that when he speaks, he stutters. So when the award was announced and the salesman is invited to the stage, everybody wants to hear what this man says.

After handshaking the announcer, the man hesitantly approach the micr...

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The carpet

An attractive, well-dressed woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian carpets. She looks around, spots a beautiful carpet, and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the carpet she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has ...

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Not sure I like my new car salesman. I called and asked if there was any wiggle room on buying a new Tesla. He said, "Sure thing!"

"Bring the wife on down and we'll dicker!"

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A man realized he needed to pu...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stic...

I didn't want to take advice from a sword salesman at the carnival...

...but he made some fair points.

A salesman told me to buy a different deer hunting rifle

He told me it was a better bang for your buck

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A MAN went to the doctors suffering from a severe headache for years on end.

The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is it will require castration. You have a rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicle...

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A little old lady

A little old lady with blue hair entered the sex shop and asked in a quivering voice, “Yy-youuuung man, dd-do y-you, sell-l d-didildoes h-hhhere?”

The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop answered, “Uh, yes ma’am, we do.”

The little lady, holdi...

A salesman rings the doorbell.

An eight year old boy answers the door. He is naked, except for his father's hat, his mother's panties, and a cape. He has a martini glass in one hand and a fat, Cuban cigar in the other.

"A-a-are your parents home?", the man stutters.

"What the Hell do you think?"

The salesman

A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j- joooob-b."

"I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment ," said the owner.

"I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k- kkkid...

Cardi B has a son and he’s a car salesman

His name was Cardi Laship

An Arab is crawling along the desert,

burning up, yelling "Water, water, water." He comes up to a Jewish tie-salesman and says, "Water!"
Jewish tie-salesman says, "I don't have any water, I got a tie. You want to buy a tie?"
Arab says, "No! Water!"
Jewish tie-salesman say, " Forty miles west, there's an inn, you can get water."...

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Best Salesman Ever!

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The young guy says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he...

What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?

A Peddler

My first job was as a door-to-door salesman.

I sold "no soliciting" signs.

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A vacuum cleaner salesman

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door
Before I spoke he tipped a bucket of dog shit over my carpet and said
If this vacuum doesn't remove every trace of it I'll personally eat what's left
I replied I hope you're hungry because they cut off my electric this morning

I would love to be a microscope salesman..

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not looking to buy a microscope"
"OK then, here's my business card"
"The writing is way too small! I can't read it!"
"Well, do I have a product for you!"

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on a woman's door.

The woman answers, and the salesman says "Lady, I have the best damn vaccuum cleaner in the whole world."

Before she could decline, he invited himself in. "Lady," he said, "This vaccuum cleaner can suck up anything. In fact, if you leave it running, it'll probably suck the carpet up!"

...

A man goes to a cemetery

He asks to buy a plot for his deceased wife. The sales guy looks confused and says “but your wife died 10 years ago and is already buried here.”
The man replies that he needs a plot for his second wife, whom he married 4 years ago.
The salesman says, “Oh, I didn’t know you remarried. Congratul...

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a Golf club.

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club.

After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.

Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings.

One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

(H – Husband, W ...

Series of jokes translated from Armenian

Some context: Abaran is a city in Armenia, and there's this stereotype about the "Abarantsi" (person from Abaran) who is supposed to be stupid and there's a bunch of jokes about it, kind of like blonde jokes (this is all for the sake of the joke, however, and we love and respect the people of Abaran...

I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke

A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.

At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woma...

What's a good name for an insurance salesman?

Justin Case

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A salesman is peddling his goods from door to door in a massive high-rise building.

He knocks at a young man’s apartment and asks him, “Would you like to buy a top-of-the-line toothbrush? It’s only ten dollars.”

“Ten bucks for a toothbrush!” the man yells. “What moron would pay ten dollars for a toothbrush? You’re out of your mind.”

“All right then,” the salesman cont...

I tried to book a trip over the phone today

"I'd like to take my wife to her favourite US state for our anniversary," I said.

"Which state is that then?" the salesman replied.

"Alaska," I responded.

"Don't you think you should have found out *before* you made the call so you weren't wasting my time?" the salesman said ang...

A traveling salesman knocked on the door of a farmhouse..

And since it was getting late, he asked the farmer if he could sleep in the barn that night. The farmer said, "That would be fine, but you have to promise to leave my son alone." And the salesman said, Oh no! I'm in the wrong joke!"

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A vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on a woman's door. As she opens the door the salesman quickly runs inside and empties a bag full of poop on her expensive carpet.

Woman, shocked and angered, shouts "what the hell are you doing to my carpet?!?". The salesman replies "Ma'am, this is not just any ordinary vacuum cleaner. This vacuum cleaner has been engineered by top German scientists in their super high tech labs. If this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean up your ca...

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The Traveling Salesman

A traveling salesman is going door to door in a small town. After having the door slammed in his face multiple times he decides to knock on one last door. The door is answered by a 10 year old boy wearing lingerie, high heels, lipstick and smoking a cigarette.

Salesman (shocked) : Young man a...

A salesman was traveling across the country when...

...his car started making a funny sounds. He knew he needed to take it to a mechanic but knowing nothing about cars he was afraid of getting screwed.

So he came up with a plan. He stopped at the nearest gas station/shop and told the old mechanic "Now listen here bud, I'm a mechanic so I'll kn...

A salesman position

(English is not my mother language so ignore any grammatical mistakes) :)

A guy is interviewed for a salesman position, the interviewer asks the guy to take his laptop saying "let's see if you can convince me to buy this laptop, I want you to walk in again thinking of me as a customer."...

I had an interview for a position as a car salesman.

The interviewer handed me his laptop and said, “Here, sell this to me.”
I took the laptop and stuck it in my bag and left. Three hours later he called and asked for his laptop back. I said, “You want to buy it back?”

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The Salesman

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad.

The boss lik...

An Arabic man is helplessly wandering through the desert when he comes across a Jewish tie salesman.

"Water! Water!" The Arabic man cries.

"I have no water, only ties. Would you like to purchase a tie?" Replies the Jewish tie salesman.

"No!" Exclaims the Arabic man, "I need water! Tell me where there's water!"

"I know where there is water. 20 miles east, there is a village w...

A travelling salesman walks into a bar...

He’s going over the menu when a local guy slides onto the stool next to him, and just says one word: “Waterloo.”

Guessing he’s onto something of a local speciality, he asks for one himself. He takes a deep swig and pulls a face: “This doesn’t taste like anything at all!!!” he exclaims.
...

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A door-to-door salesman knocks on a door of a house

Little Johnny opens up, holding a half empty bottle of whisky and a lit cigar.

The salesman says, "hey kid, are your mom and dad home?"

Johnny takes a swig of whisky and a puff of the cigar, and answers, "What the fuck do you think"?

A traveling salesman calls home...

His eldest son answers the phone. He asks his son how everyone is doing, son tells him everyone is fine, but the cat died. The salesman is heartbroken. He tells his son that he needs to break things like this more delicately. The son asks how.
The salesman tells him to be more delicate. First yo...

I met a rock salesman once.

He really took his money for granite.

Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman? [original!]

She was Schwepped off her feet

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A man is sitting alone at home, when suddenly there’s a knock at his door ...

Standing at the door is a door to door salesman.

Man: Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.

Salesman: But what I’m selling is very interesting. I’m a purveyor of luxury prosthetics. Allow me to demonstrate.

And he raises the right leg of his pants. His leg is solid gold!...

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A salesman knocks on the door and a little boy answers...

he's drinking his father's favorite scotch and smoking a fresh cigar while wearing his mother's favorite bedsheets as a toga.

"Are your parents home?" asked the salesman.

to which the boy replied, "Does it fucking look like it?"

I've always wanted to be a mirror salesman

It's just something I could see myself doing

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Applying for a sales position

A man goes to apply for a job in a big Walmart. He's interviewed by the personnel manager and asked:

\- Do you have sales experience?

\- Yes sir, I worked selling clothes.

The manager decides to give him a test, so he says:

\- Come to work tomorrow at 9 AM. You'll work al...

I told a salesman I desperately needed a new TV.

"Do you plan on mounting it?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I'm not *that* desperate."

Did you hear about the battery salesman?

He charged too much but got positive reviews.

A traveling salesman was driving on a lonely country road on his way home one night when a huge storm came up. He saw farmhouse up the road and headed for it. He knocked on the door and the farmer answered. The salesman asked if he could take shelter from the storm at his house.

The farmer welcomed him in and put him up for the night. In the morning, the kind farmer served him bacon and eggs and the salesman was extremely thankful for his hospitality On his way out, the farmer walked him to his car and the salesman saw a pig with 3 legs go past. The salesman asked why does...

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Old joke slightly different. An old peach salesman drives up to a house and knocks...

- Beautiful lady answers door with not much on. Asks old man what she can for you

- old man asks if she’d like to buy some peaches

- she says, I don’t know, takes his hand and puts it on her breast. Asks “Are your peaches as firm and nice as this.”

- he says, “yes ma’am”...

I picked out a color of grey paint the other day, I guess the salesman didn't like it.

He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."

What did the blubber salesman say when he found out the margins on petroleum were better?

Whale oil be damned!

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The Tractor Salesman

There's a farmer and he's chilling on his stoep watching the cows and the tractor salesman shows up.



The farmer says "I have six tractors already. One of them hardly gets used. I think I have enough tractors."



The tractor salesman says "This is the only tractor you'll...

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A farmer is at the bar complaining about a pushy fertilizer salesman.

There's only so much bullshit a guy can take.

Why was the weed salesman so good at business in mecca

Because he got his profits high

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Life of a salesman

So a department store famous for carrying everything is looking to hire a new sales associate. They have narrowed it down to two candidates. They decide to do a trial run and give them each a week to see who earns the highest commission to see who gets the job.

The first guy comes in every d...

Circa 1994: A blonde walks into an appliance store and says to the salesman.

"excuse me sir, I would like to buy that television over there"

"Sorry ma'am we don't sell to blondes" the salesman replies

Appalled the blonde scoffs and storms out the door

She comes back with a red wig on and tries again only to have the man tell her

"Sorry ma'am we...

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The best salesman in the world

The boy went into the mall to get a job. He told the management that he was the world's best salesman. They gave him a job as a seller, but expected profits from day one.

On Saturday evening the manager came down and asked how many customers he had served today. The boy said he had helped one...

So there's this salesman..

He's driving down the road, not in any particular hurry. As he's driving, he happens to looks down and sees a chicken running alongside the car. He takes a closer look, and sees it has three legs.

The salesman eases onto the gas. 45, 50 miles per hour; chicken's right there. He gives it a bit...

A snail walks into a car dealership...

A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.

The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, t...

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A salesman knocks on a door

A salesman knocks on a door, as soon as the door opens he throws a mound of dirt on the floor of the house. The house owner begins to confront the salesman in a state of rage but before he can say anything the salesman pulls out a vacuum and sucks up the dirt with ease. The salesman says "I'm here t...

Car salesman: * slaps roof on r/jokes *

This baby can fit so many damn reposts in it!

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Door to door salesman is making his rounds

When he walks up the steps to Little Johnny's house.

Little Johnny answers the door, 8 years old, wearing nothing but his mom's lingerie, smoking a cigar and sipping a glass of bourbon.

"Excuse me young man, are your parents home?" Asks the salesman.

Johnny looks up and says "...

A salesman enters the porch and knocks on the farmhouse door...

... Little Timmy answers the door by sliding it slowly open, inspecting the salesman standing tall with his briefcase.

- hello there kiddo, may I speak to your father? The man asked little Timmy.

Timmy swiftly replies before cleaning his running nose with his sleeve. "sorry my dad got...

Are you a big rig salesman?

Cause you gave me a semi.

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A salesman has to travel to Pittsburg for work...

When he gets to the ticket line at the airport, he is caught by how beautiful, and voluptuous, the desk clerk is.
She asks “can I help you?”
And he stammers out “one picket to titsburg please!”
Embarrassed, he apologizes, corrects himself, and gets his ticket.
For the next three days he’...

A door to door salesman knocked on a door and a woman answered.

Salesman - Hello. Would you like to buy a book titled '500 Excuses to Tell Your Wife After Staying Out Late'?

Woman - Why on earth would I buy a book like that?

Salesman - Because I sold a copy to your husband earlier today.

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