How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, assuming for purposes of argument that it is within the power of a woodchuck to chuck wood?

You woodn't believe it, but the woodchuck axeually started his own branch. Experts suggest he took the wrong root to success, however, sapping all growth from the market.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What comes before 69?

That sorry sap who suffers from premature ejaculation

Outside my school there is an unfortunate tree

It has been hit by a car, struck by lightning, and now infested with termites.

What a poor sap

A tree went to the psychologist...

He told him that the rest of the trees in the forest had not been very nice to him.

They all had beautiful colorful fruits and flowers. They made fun of his pine cones and spiked leaves. He stayed the same boring green all year and never lived up to the beauty of the other trees.

He ...

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

Why was the sapling such a horrible entrepreneur?

Because he couldn't branch out.

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Jeff the Bellboy

Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.

Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."

The ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Millennium Year Application Software System

This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the "Millennia Year Application Software System " (MYASS). Next Monday at 9:00 there will be...

God will save me!

A priest was on a cruise ship when the ship began to sink quite suddenly. Being a man who puts others before himself, he finds the smallest piece of driftwood that would support his weight, grabs hold of it and floats in the middle of the ocean. 15 minutes go by and along comes a rubber dinghy, almo...

A man finds a lamp on the beach.

He rubs it, and out pops a genie.

"You only get one wish," says the genie.

"Oh, I've thought about this a lot!" Says the man, "What I really want is a highway all the way to Hawaii. That way I can vacation whenever I want!"

"Are you serious?" Replies the genie. "A job that big...

According to my family tree

I'm the sap.

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