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A man is golfing and gets a call from his mother-in-law...

“Steve! Thank God! Sharon’s been in a terrible accident! She’s at the hospital! Drop what you’re doing and get right down there!”

“Oh my God! My poor wife!”

He gets ready to leave and thinks- “I’m on the 17th green and 4 shots under par. She’s really in the best hands. I’ll hurry up ...

Boy, I Had it Tough!, "I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had.".

Two corn cobs walked down the street,

One was then hit by a car. At the hospital, the doctor said to the other corn, “I have good news and bad news,”

“Good news is your friend is going to pull through.”

“Bad news is he’s going to be a vegetable”

Two Accountants

One day two accountants, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. One was a vegetarian and constantly berated the other for eating meat! After stopping for a hot dog, the vegetarian erupted "Why do you eat meat?, do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what yo...

Since we didn’t know his blood type, my father died in the hospital last night.

It’s difficult, but I’m doing my best to pull through. His last words to me were to “Be positive.”

A woman on a business trip calls her husband to check on her cat.

“How’s Princess Fluffs?” she asks.

“Oh, she died this morning, honey. Ran into traffic. Sorry.”

His wife breaks into sobs, and he feels terrible. When she gathers her composure she yells at him,

“How can you break the news like that to me? You have no sensitivity whatsoever.”...

A young potato's night out

A young bachelor potato decides he wants a night out on the town. He hops in the shower and gets nice and clean, puts on some nice cologne, shaves off all those little hairs and puts on his best jacket. He decides to head down to a local bar for a drink and see where the night goes. As he orders his...

[Long] Story about soldier and friend

A soldier named Peter is deployed overseas for war and stay in contact with his friend Ben by writing letters.

In the first letter to the soldier:

Dear Pete:
I’m sorry to say, but your favorite cat Fluffy keeled
over dead yesterday.
Sincerely,
Ben

Peter is obviousl...

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