UPJOKE
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Attraction Jokes

I saw that our local zoo has an interesting attraction : A lion and a sheep living peacefully in the same cage.



I asked the zookeeper whether they ever fight. He said, "Rarely."

I asked what happens when they do.

"We get another sheep."

Secret Attraction

A short and exceptionally homely man had just started putting on his underwear when his daughter opened the door and entered the room. "Mommy!" she cried, pointing to her father's extremely ample endowment. "What's that?" "Well, sweetheart," said the woman, "that's your daddy's secret attraction. If...

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Jane always had a certain attraction to Tarzan.

So during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.

"Tarzan not know what is sex" he replied.

Jane then explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said ...."Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."Stunned by his response, Jane said: "Tarzan you have it all wrong, you...

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What do you call a person with a sexual attraction to bicycles?

A pedal-phile.

I was arrested for having an unhealthy attraction to large amounts of data

They’re calling me a petaphile

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Two people from Japan meet each other at a tourist attraction in the USA.

"Where will you be going next?" asks the first person.
"Ohio," says the second.
"Good morning to you too, but that didn't answer my question," says the first person.

Newton said "The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction"

Yet here I am. Still single.

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Fatal Attraction

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She said, “But we don’t know anything about each other.”

He said, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.” So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nic...

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Sexual attraction isn't a choice

If it was, i would have been active

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I tried to confront my friend about his sexual attraction to plants

But he kept on beating behind the bush

A zoo purchased a female gorilla as their new start attraction.

However, she soon became very aggressive and very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined that the problem was she was in heat. With no male gorilla at the zoo, how could she be calmed down?

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Davi...

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I have an unhealthy sexual attraction towards figures in Greek mythology ever since

\
I laid my eyes on Medusa. Been rock hard ever since.

Which theme park attraction is the most reasonable?

The Fairest Wheel.

People think Big Ben is a cool tourist attraction

In America we have thousands of Big Ben’s, most of the time we can’t get around them in a store aisle but it’s still not exactly something you take a selfie in front of.

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A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. (one of my favourite jokes, worth the read)



However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can't afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the z...

What do you call a water park attraction that kills you??

The Suislide.

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A man and a woman meet. Instant Attraction.

Across a parking lot. They jump into her car and go at it straight away. Afterwards when they’re collecting themselves, he says to her, “Gee, if I’d known you were a virgin, I would have taken my time.” She replies, “Gee, if I knew you had the time I would have taken off my pantyhose first.”

I just visited Ukraine's latest tourist attraction, Chernobyl.

I give it four thumbs up!

Disney just launched a Mt. Everest attraction.

You wait in line, then die.

The Smithsonian just added the JFK Experience as a new attraction

It’ll blow your mind!

What is Santa's favorite Las Vegas attraction?

Cirque du Sleigh

The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl.

It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

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I don't understand peoples attraction to necrophiliacs

It's like people are dying to have sex with them

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