Everyone clapped when the boy was rescued from the well.

But I'm waiting to see if he found my phone.

Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field.

The steaks has never been higher.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rescued at last...

A man has been stranded on a deserted island for years before he is found. On the helicopter ride back to civilization, a rescuer asks him where he wants to go first.
The man says, "After all this time, there is only one thing I want. A woman!"
The rescuer responds, "The best I can do it t...

A word of warning if you are thinking of getting a rescue cat.

My nan had a rescue cat. The other day she slipped and fell over.

The so called "rescue" cat just sat there and did nothing !

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A shepherd rescues a beautiful woman from falling off a cliff in far away mountains.

With much gratitude, she says, "Wow, you saved my life so bravely and selflessly. Just ask, and I'd do anything for you."

The shepherd ask slyly, "Anything?"

"Anything, my dear", she replies seductively.

The shepherd points to a nearby sheep and goes, "Can ya' hold this bitches'...

Sadly I had to leave my job at the cat rescue centre.

They cut meowers.

A horse, a chicken and a Harley

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the ...

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A shipwrecked man washes up onto a deserted beach.

He meets a couple that's also stranded there. He and the wife immediately lock eyes and feel the chemistry for some genital bonding.

The Husband tells the Stranger: "hey man, see that tall coconut tree over there? We take turns all day climbing it to the top and seeing if any ships are approa...

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A little lizard is walking along a tree branch...

Something wonderful hit his nostrils. It was unlike anything he had ever smelled before. He followed the scent to another branch where he saw his friend, the Koala Bear, smoking the fattest joint he had ever seen.

"Damn, K-Bear, that's the dankest weed I've ever smelled!" said the lizard....

Therapy dog to the rescue

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of red wine. The bartender's therapy dog leaps to his feet, races across the room, runs down the stairs to the wine cellar and within moments returns with a lovely bottle of cabernet savignon in his jaws which he drops gently at the bartender's feet. "Wow, t...

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A pirate walked into a bar.

He had a wooden leg, an eye patch and a hook for a hand. The bartender was curious.
"How did you get that wooden leg?" he asked.

The pirate took a swig of ale. "'Twas a terrible sea battle. I stood bravely, directly facing 12 cannons.All they managed to hit was my leg."

The bartende...

Three men entered a swimming race for people with disabilities. One of the three men had no arms, one had no legs, and the third was just a head with no body.

The three men got onto the starting blocks. The whistle blew, and they all jumped into the water. The armless man and the legless man started to swim to the other end of the pool, but the head with no body sank to the bottom.

It was a very close race, but the armless man won. But when he and ...

What do you call an Australian who rescues the day?

The friendly neighborhood “Spider-Mate”

Liam Neeson will star in a new thriller where he rescues the wrong woman

the film will be titled "Mistaken"

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Dear Mom and Dad

We are having a great time here at Camp CatchaCough. Our Scoutmaster is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.
Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain look...

Three men were buried under a landslide in China

Three men were buried under a landslide in China.

They're inside a car when it happened, and miraculously still have cell phone connection.

The first man made a phone call to the police:

"I'm a good citizen and husband, please come save us!"

The police tell him they will ...

I rescued a dog that belonged to a blacksmith.

As soon as I brought it home, it made a bolt for the door

My rescue dog has no legs, so I named her cigarette...

and every night we go out for a drag.

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An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer.....

The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.


"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"


The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first...

Once upon a time, Spanish galleon was sent to rescue some farmers and their cows in a settlement...

...they arrived on schedule and picked up the farmers and their cows, which took up half of the cargo hold. As the journey continued, they miked the cows, eventually filling up the remainder of the hold with various dairy products.

Finally, they reached their destination, but before they wer...

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A shipwrecked Scotsman is rescued by a Royal Navy destroyer

...he is taken to the sick bay where a beautiful young nurse is waiting.

"Our Captain wanted me to tell that he is from Aberdeen and wants his countryman to be receive the best of care. How long has it been since you had a drink of Whisky?"

"Five long years my dear." The Scotsman rep...

Now You Tell Me

A preacher in New Orleans is known to be a good, holy man of God.

One day, while the preacher is at home, a hurricane whips up, with torrential rains and rising waters. His neighbor comes by, saying he's leaving, and would the preacher like ride? The preacher says, "No, the Lord will save me...

A ship, sailing past an island, finds a man there who had become stranded alone years earlier. The commander disembarks to rescue the man and sees three huts.

"What's that first hut there?", he asks.
"Oh, that's my house", replies the castaway.
"What about that second hut there?"
"That's my church."
"And what about the third one over there?"
"That?", replies the man, disdainfully. "That's the church I used to go to."

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The Royal Newspaper

The King and Queen decided to get pets, so the King issued a decree: "Handsome reward for finest Royal pets."

The Queen immediately falls in love with a white, long haired kitten, bred in a faraway land. After payment, the kitten disappears and the distraught Queen sends the entire staff to l...

An old but timely parable / joke for our times

A river valley was flooding fast. A TV news bulletin warned residents to get to higher ground. But as everyone was evacuating, a smug Evangelist stood his ground and declared "I will pray to God to deliver me from this disaster!"

So he prayed.

Some time went by and the floodwaters ro...

A transport ship goes down....

A transport ship goes down in the middle of the Atlantic quickly enough that no distress signal get sent. After the ship had been overdue for a ten days, a rescue is dispatched. Five days after that, the come across an island and send men ashore. There, they find four women lounging in emergency ten...

The Three-Legged Pig

So, there's a traveling salesman who has been on the road for too long. He decides that, to fix his boredom, the next thing he sees he's going to stop and ask somebody about it.

Well wouldn't you know it, he sees a pig with three legs at the edge of a farm.

"Ok," he says to himself. "...

I just bought a rescue dog!

It must have previously been owned by a locksmith, ‘cos when I got home it made a bolt for the door.

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I broke down on the freeway and roadside rescue came and helped me out.. "What's wrong with it? i asked" "Shit in the gas tank" he said..

"How often do i have to do that?" i said..

I thought it would be a real ethical conundrum when the PETA Headquarters got a rat problem

But they just did what they do to all the dogs they rescue.

I'm glad the cave rescue is complete....

Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results

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A nun and a priest were travelling across the desert...

A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.

After several days of waiting,...

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Three flight attendants are at work when the captain announces that everyone should prepare for a crash landing.

The blonde flight attendant sits down and starts doing her makeup. "I figure, " she explains, "that if I'm looking pretty I'll be rescued first."

Seeing no flaws in this logic, the second flight attendant starts trying to fix his hair.

Our third attendant, a black woman, starts thinki...

After attempting to climb Everest and failing, John has severe frostbite, hypothermia and goes into a coma.

After a lengthy and dangerous mountaintop rescue he's rushed to the nearest hospital, where after several days he finally wakes and is greeted by the Nepalese doctor.

Sir, I have bad news and good news. John, ever the optimist asks for the good news first.

Okay, the good news is the ...

I used to love tractors when I was a kid.

I had posters of them up on my walls, dozens of toy tractors I used to play with; I remember one year my parents surprised me for my birthday with a big cake in the shape of a tractor. They were an obsession.

As I grew older, I started to notice girls and put more thought into my studies, and...

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A man was interviewing for a position with the CIA (Part 2)

It's the second day of interviews for the position at the CIA. The three men are ready for their next step.

The interviewers take the first man into the interrogation room where the is someone tied to a chair with a hood over their face. They say "This is a practical task designed to test you...

Parker seeks the help of International Rescue for something out of the ordinary...

"You have to help me, Mr. Tracy. It's Lady Penelope. She has gone crazy! "

"Gone crazy, Parker? What do you mean by that?"

"It's her drinking....She cannot restrain herself. Every evening for five months she's been in the bar, drinking heavily, disturbing everybody and being utterly un...

A ship's captain out at sea notices smoke on the horizon...

...he orders the ship to head towards the smoke. As the ship gets closer to the source of the smoke, the captain can see through his binoculars a deserted island with three huts and a man waving his arms to be rescued.

The ship sends a small boat to the island which returns with the man grat...

Archangel Starbase, Status Report

Archangel Starbase is operational.

Courier/cargo wing, Gabriel Bay, operating at 90% of capacity.

Medical/Search & Rescue wing, Raphael Bay, ready at three minutes’ notice 24/7.

Military wing, Michael Bay, keeps exploding.

Two men were hunting deep in the woods one late afternoon

As the sun set over the horizon, the two hunters realized they were lost. Finding themselves outside of signal range and miles from civilization, they mulled over their options for rescue.

"Oh," one man perked up, "I remember reading that if you fire three shots in the air, it's a sign of dis...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

A lifeguard rescues a drowning man

Grateful, the man offers him an award. He reaches in a flask and pours out some goop.

"Thank you but what is this?"

"Your whale cum."

A Catholic, a woman of color, a doctor, a Jew, and a rescue dog walk into the White House...

This is where the joke already left.

Why didn't the lifeguard rescue the hippy?

Because he was too far out man...

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There is a global interest in survival and the ability to thrive after an apocalypse or major crisis.

Scientists decide that sending 3 men to a deserted island for 5 years with no hope of rescue or assistance would be a good indicator.

The United States, France, and China each offer up 1 person for the study and they all get sent to their fate.

5 years later a helicopter lands on the i...

Firefighters go to rescue a woman from an upper floor of a burning apartment building.

The firefighters say look, we have two ways to get you out. We have this new technology that allows us to form a fireproof slide that can take you down the stairs. Or, you can just come out the window with us and go down the way we've always done it.

The lady says, "The former seems interesti...

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One day a very religious man is praying at home when suddenly a tsunami hits.

He climbs to the roof of his house to avoid the flood and starts praying to God to save him.

"Oh God, I've worshipped you all my life, I'm not ready to die. Please save me from this flood"

After a few minutes of this, a guy on a rowing boat see's the man in distress and calls out
...

A shipwrecked mariner has spent several years on a deserted island, completely alone.

Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out towards him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him: “The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still...

A woman and her neighbor are on her roof in Houston waiting for rescue

While they're waiting, the neighbor notices a baseball cap floating through the flood waters. Suddenly, to her surprise, the baseball cap turns around and starts floating the other way. After going some ways, it turns around and floats back again. She observes this going on for some time, back an...

Why didn’t the lifeguard rescue the hippie?

Because he was faaaaar out maaaaaaan....

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction....

... and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief said, "Yeah." When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the cr...

I found a box of discarded calculators and I just had to rescue them

every calculator counts...

What's the best time to rescue a princess?

Knight time!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I heard the news that 12 Thai schoolboys had been rescued from underground...

I had to run home and make sure my basement was still padlocked.

I rescued a penguin that came to shore near home

It must have got caught in a coastal current and ended up at the beach. I was happy to save it but didn't know what to do with it.

Someone suggested I take it to the zoo. I thought that was a great idea, and that's what I did.

A few weeks later the same person saw me at the beach....

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Guy is shipwrecked on a desert island.

Not much to do, just some trees with coconuts, some sand... and a sheep.

After a few weeks, the guy starts feeling a little hard up, so he tries to catch the sheep and have his way with it. Alas, he cannot catch the sheep. Every day it gets worse- he is increasingly more horny, but the shee...

I used to work as a coast guard. There's one rescue mission that sticks in my memory.

A ship carrying a huge haul of industrial strength glue got into trouble just off the coast where I was stationed.

The weather was the worst I'd seen it, and one of the containers of glue had fallen from height and smashed into the hull, covering a number of the crew members in glue and knoc...

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a very small head

After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, "hey, I don't mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head?"

The guy replies, "well it's a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on a deserted...

One time I got attacked by a wildebeest, but another wildebeest came to my aid and rescued me.

There's good gnus and bad gnus.

Now that all the Thai boys were rescued, we can now joke about the situation.

But please, don't everybody go at once.

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Oh, April!

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and ...

The news said that the Thai boys trapped in the cave system had no idea about the world outside following the happenings of the rescue, so I guess you could say that....

They were in the dark about their situation!

How do you know if your friend's new dog is a rescue?

Don't worry. They'll let you know.

What did Cher say to the orphan pig she rescued?

Babe, I got you babe.

I heard the FBI and NSA is rejoicing at the rescue of those Thai students.

Now they can go back to monitoring Redditor accounts for "Thai, boys, deep, hole, wet, rubber face mask and sedatives" without all those pesky false positives.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn’t Bangkok.

Rescue attempts are being made to save a bull stranded on Mt. Everest

Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher.

An engineering student, a geometry major, and a star basketball player are trapped on a desert island

They’re debating how to get off the island or get rescued. The engineering student looks around and sees only a few palm trees and some coconuts.

“We need to cut down the trees and make a raft to sail away on.” He says and starts designing.

“We need a basketball to pass the time.” Th...

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Activist: Hello, we are collecting money for rescued farm animals, would you like to donate?

Human: How dare you asking help for animals when children in Syria are dying of hunger?

Activist: Hello, we are collecting money for children in Syria, would you like to donate?

Human: How dare you asking help for children in Syria, when children in our country are dying of hunger?
...

German ocean rescue radio headquarter

*A call comes to the radio*

"German Ocean Rescue, what is your problem?"
"Help, we are sinking, we are sinking!"
"What are you sinking about?"

My friend was surprised when I said I hadn't heard about the kids in Thailand being rescued

Where have you been? Living in a cave?

Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave

...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive

A man once got locked inside a mailbox. Everyone rushed for his rescue,

Because he was a priority male.

Kirk and Spock were trapped on a planet and were waiting for rescue.

Kirk complained to Spock that his legs were getting tired from just standing around.

Spock said "there's a tree right there let's cut it down with our phasers and make a bench."

"You're a genius!" Exclaimed Kirk.

"Nonsense" replied Spock "it's only log-ical"

Two lawyers stranded on an island.

Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months.

The only other thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided their food.

Each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree to see if he could see a rescue boat coming.

One day, the la...

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Guy is the sole survivor of a shipwreck, and washes up on a desert island.

The only thing to eat are coconuts, from a single coconut tree on the other side of the island. However, there's a dog guarding the tree, and every time the guy climbs the tree to get a one, the dog bites him on the ass.

For ten months, the guy has to deal with the dog, whenever he wants to ...

I adopted a pet rock from the rescue shelter...

They told me he's had a hard life.

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It is taking much longer to rescue the boys trapped in the Thai cave.

All the diving experts are participating in the World Cup in Russia.

What did the Thai soccer player say to the rescue diver?

I didn't want to follow the coach but I eventually caved in

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One day a man decides to join the US Marine corps.

During training, he just can't keep up, so the sergeant tells him to go home and wait until he's called upon as a reserve.

35 years go by and the man is still not called into action, so he decides to retire.

Out fishing one day, enjoying his retirement, a car flys past him out of contr...

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A school teacher, a police officer, and a hedge fund founder are trapped on a deserted island.

After scavenging for days with little success, they come across a magical lamp. The officer decides to give it a quick rub and out pops a genie.

"Hello, I am here to grant each of you an imperishable supply of food and water as you await your rescue. Be warned, it can only be consumed only ...

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A man was on a ship that sunk, and after floating for days he washed up on a deserted island....

He was stranded for many years on this island, but fortunately food was easy to come by. Fruits and vegetables grew abundantly all over the island, and the fish were so easy to catch it was almost like they *wanted* to be caught. Unfortunately, this meant that he had hours and hours of free time th...

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I adopted a rescue dog early this morning...

But she hasn't saved anyone all day and she's peed in the house twice. This is bullshit.

What’s worse than a biscuit that drowns?

The second biscuit sent to rescue also drowns.

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A man gets rescued after spending his whole life on a desert island.

(this one is very long, be warned)

He was stranded on the island as a little boy, he knows how to speak but he knows nothing about the wonders of the modern world. Him and his family were thought to have perished in a freak yacht accident, nobody ever found the yacht. He somehow managed to su...

They’ve written a sequel to The Martian where a hundred rescuers attempt to rescue a stranded man on mars, only to fail.

It’s title.

101 Dull Martians

Spring Fishing

Three guys were out fishing and drinking beer one fine early Spring morning. The lake's ice was now completely melted and the sun shone bright. As one of the guys stood to pee he lost his balance and teetered overboard. When he hadn't surfaced after a few moments one of his friends dove in to try ...

Yeah, it's cool that the Thai kids were rescued.

They’re just not as entertaining as they were when they first got trapped and not too many people knew them. I guess you could say I liked them more when they were underground.

A Russian, a Brit and an American are stuck on a mountain

While they wait for rescue to arrive, they get together for a meal. As everyone is taking out their kits and prepping, the Russian starts boasting "in the soviet army, they feed us 2000 calories of food a day". The Brit turns and scoffs at him, then he says " in the royal army, we are fed 4000 calor...

Three disabled stranded men

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, bu...

The prince, after a long and arduous battle, slew the dragon. He then ascends the mountain to an ominous castle holding the damsel. The prince makes his way to her room to rescue her. He enters and asks

What's your wifi password?

I heard the last two kids rescued raced eachother to the end of the cave...

Rescuers reported the race ended in a Thai.

I was just reading up on how they rescued the Chilean miners

most of it was just boring.

A couple of hunters go out into an unfamiliar woods.

They're stopped by the Game Warden who asks them, "I don't recognize you fellers from around here. Do you boys know your way around these here woods?"

"Well no, but we can find our way out after we get our deer."

"Okay, but if you do happen to get lost, just fire 3 shots in the air. Th...

Trump and Hillary fall into the water. Who will be rescued?

America.

A guy rescued a genie.

To return the favor, the genie offered him a wish: he could have unlimited money, or unlimited wisdom. The man chose the latter. A few days passed by, his friend came to visit him, finding him crying very fiercely and screaming the sentence: "I should have chosen the money."

One knight a king, a queen, and a dog sailed on a boat. The queen and king fell off and drowned. The dog tried to rescue them but was eaten by a shark. Who survived?

The knight.

(It's a better oral joke since knight and night are interchangeable)

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A man goes to buy a parrot

He puts it in his car and soon learns that parrot had been rescued from questionable places, as he drives back home with it.

Everyday, he hears it curse and shout profanities to any guest who visits the man. Most guests had left the man's place angry or crying as trash talked them.

The...

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The Woman and the Gorilla

A woman once rescued a baby Gorilla from poachers. She was later surprised to find that it could talk. The woman fed it bathed it and raised it. Years passed and the Gorilla grew up to be big and strong. One day the woman saw the gorilla ramming its cock into a tree hollow. Seeing the size of its co...

Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana?

Because he was in a wheelchair.

So a man who had been stranded on an island 7 years was finally rescued...

as the ship was pulling away from the island one of his rescuers was looking back at the island and noticed three huts on the beach. Curious, he asked the castaway what they were for. "Well" he replied "the first one there was my house and that one over there is my church" "and the other?" asked the...

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Rescued a woman

I was telling my friend about a woman I saved from the train tracks one night. She was so grateful that we had sex all night. "Did she give you a blowjob?" he asked me. "Can't say she did" I told him, "I never found the head"

Bear with me

please send a rescue team to the forest now!

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Well, it's a well story.

When I was in my 5th grade, my English teacher told this story.
Once there lived a landlord in a village.He was rich. He had a daughter which meant the world to him. One day while he was on his way to work, he heard the news that his daughter fell inside a well, while she was playing. He immediat...

Jewish Thinking

A Jewish couple is sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and this plane will be going down momentarily.

L...

What do you get when you cross an Indian smoothie with a rescue dog?

Mango Lassie

How did I get rich?

Well I was working on my sheep farm. We had just sheared the flock and spun the wool into yarn. As I was dying one skein of yarn green, a lamb wandered over and fell into the tub of dye. By the time I rescued the poor thing, he'd already managed to turn himself completely green.

Well, a littl...

Fella rescued a damsel in distress.

Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized...

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An American, A Canadian and a Japanese were stranded in a deserted island

An American, A Canadian and a Japanese were stranded in a deserted island in middle of no where. They understood that until rescues arrived, they will need to work together in order to stay alive on the island. So they decided to divide up the tasks. The American points to the Canadian and says: "yo...

¾ of the A-Team have just launched a valiant rescue mission

I heard they were just trying to save Face after their last failure, though.

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An American, a Russian, and a Chinese

An American, a Russian, and a Chinese each got stranded on an uninhabited island.

Just as they started to lose hope, God visits all three of them. And gave each of them a food supply good for 1 month, a dog and a task. Their task was to make the dog learn how to speak human language when he c...

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A lizard and a monkey smoke some weed

After a long day of surving in the African bush, Monkey and Lizard are chilling in a tree smoking a fat bush blunt. After a while Lizard tells monkey he needs a drink and goes down to the river. He bends down to take a sip and being stoned to his little lizard bones, he fell in the river and starte...

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Island Rescue

A man, a pig, and a dog are stranded on an island. Over the next few weeks the man grows increasingly horny, and decides to fuck the pig. However, every time the man drops his pants, the dog begins to growl and become very aggressive. Frustrated, he gives up.

One day the man sees something fl...

2 blondes are on a Cruise on the Nile. Unfortunately they fall overboard. After a while crocodiles start approaching them. One blond sees them and tells the other:

“Oh look how sweet! Rescue boats from Lacoste!”

The President and his closest allies are involved in a terrible plane crash, and are left clinging to debris in the middle of the stormy sea.

As time passes, their arms grow weaker, and the squall grows stronger, until the waves threaten to swallow them up. Suddenly, an army helicopter appears overhead, and a Soldier on board lowers a rope to pull the President up.

As soon as the head of government is brought in, the Soldier turns ...

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Three men crash land on a desert island, 3 days later they find a magic lamp in the sand on the beach

>**this joke works best if you do the actions when you're telling it**

The men get very excited about the lamp and as they dust the sand away it hums and buzzes before a genie emerges in a puff of blue smoke.

"You have freed me from my prison," says the Genie, "For this, I will give...

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.

The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."

"Fine then, you're in," said God.

The collie said, ...

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.

As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.

"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such ...

An employee hadn't showed up for work, and it was getting pretty late.

The boss had a meeting in some time, and this particular employee was supposed to present the pitch to the clients. Ten minutes go by, twenty minutes go by... and there's no sign of the employee.

The boss decided to call him. However, the employee did not answer so the boss tried his wife's ...

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