Do you know what China is famous for?

\[REDACTED\]

So, This is a very famous joke from my country ,I hope to see the response

A conference for who the best actor in the world was held, Actors from all around the world came to take part in the competition.There were many qualifier rounds but then only 5 actors remained in the finals.

The final contest was decided to be a manual cow milking competition. The rules were...

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What’s the difference between how daredevils and porn actresses become famous?

Daredevils get famous because of their cunning stunts.

(I thought that one up myself)

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher and political theorist,

but very few people know about his sister,

Onya, the inventor of the starter pistol.

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

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I told my friend that I knew a famous constipated English detective.

He said. “No shit Sherlock.”

I guess he knew him too.

"I saw a famous rapper urinating onto a gravestone."

"P. Diddy?"

"Yes, onto a gravestone."

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After a terrible cruise shipwreck, famous beauty and actress Scarlett Johansson finds herself alone on a deserted island. Hours pass, and only one other man makes it to the island with her. They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was, of course.

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed this guy learned how to provide food and shelter, and started taking care of her, and she took care of him in return. Eventually she started really caring about him. After all, there wasn't anyone else on the island. He eventually built a cabin, had a...

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was a little boy back in Austria, he and his friends had a game where they would pretend to be famous composers ...

Georg would say "I'll be Handel!”

Franz would say "I'll be Schubert!”

Arnold would say "I'll be Bach!"

Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks?

Minnesota!

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I was shocked to learn that a famous male pornstar had received $1,000,000 for his sperm. But, you know what they say

Sex cells.

I watched a movie called "The Adjustment," about a Chiropractor who quits, goes back to school and becomes an famous Orthopedic Spine Surgeon. I didn't really like it.

Too much backstory.

I Want to Become a Famous Chess Player.

But I've got too much of a checkered past to do it.

Sonyu, the famous monk, asked his wise master why he had a reddit account.

The wise master replied :

The joke, Sonyu.

In an effort to play every famous person in the world, Tom Hanks has taken a new role

In his ongoing effort to play every white man of any worthy note, Tom Hanks has be cast as Tom Hanks in his upcoming biopic

In the famous severed horse head scene in The Godfather they originally were going to use a Swordfish.

It didn't really fit in with the marlin brand-though.

Some actors are famous for playing the same role in multiple movies, but none so much as Lee Navarre.

Lee Navarre had starred in a couple of low budget films like Greta's Gallery and Fisherman Flanagan, but no one really took note of him till he was seen in the first movie of the mystery series "When Midnight Chimes". As we all know, it was an instant hit and Navarre gained a lot of critical acclaim...

One of the patrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other.

He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans.
Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes.
The next day, the church secretary...

I'm not afraid of getting Alzheimer's because it's like being famous.

You don't recognize anybody, but everybody recognizes you.

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We all remember that famous quote from the Arnold Schwarzenegger sex tape.

"Live with me if you want to come."

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A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

My friends and I were playing a game, where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that has died.

It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.

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The gibbon is famous for being the most frequently masturbating animal in the entire world.

We'll see about that...

George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.

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There was this famous cheese maker

He made this cheese that would expanded grow when melted.
He was driving while drinking scotch and got into a accident with a school bus. The court case going as expected he was sentenced to death by electrocution. As a last meal request he asked for a quarter of a wheel of his world famous chee...

A famous Hindi joke! Let's see if the translation works!

Once, Mahatma Gandhi was on a visit to the Mental Hospital. He bumped in a patient who had recovered by then

Gandhiji asked him, "So, how are you now?"

"I feel better. Tell me what's your name?"

"Mohandas Gandhi."

"I, too, was saying this before getting admitted to the ho...

An Interviewer goes to take the interview of a famous Film Critic .

The critic says that he had watched almost all the films in the world ,which were from all the countries in the world.
The Interviewer asks him whether he knew some Spanish films , and if he did, to name them .

He replies by saying he does and gives the names of some famous Spanish movi...

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You’ve heard of the theory of the famous Cocktail dress? Two vodkas and it’s off. But have you heard of the American dress?

One yank and it’s down

Famous french joke , long but gold

One day a little girl go to sleep and her dad leave her room after that he read her a story and she says « goodbye granddad, protect dad and mom and grandma ». Then on the morning , the grandfather dies . The dad is lost but thinks its nothing . The next night , her daughter says « goodbye grandma ,...

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Its 1848 and two hunters from Boston are on a buffalo hunting expedition. They've hired the famous Blackfoot tracker, Grey Owl to track and locate buffalo for them.

As they follow Grey Owl's trail, they catch sight of him just ahead.

Grey Owl has his ear to the ground, and as the two hunters get close he says, "Three wagons, each pulled by four oxen pass this spot 20 minutes ago!"

The hunters are blown away! This is amazing! One of them asks, "Can...

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A man wanted to become a rich and famous painter...

But he lacked the skills. So the Devil came to him and said "I will make you a world class painter, you'll be rich and famous. In exchange, I want your soul." The painter agreed, and Lucifer snapped his fingers. A set of brushes appeared, which Satan quickly possessed. After being possessed by Satan...

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

A man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later, he received this letter:

Most Honorable Sir,

You leave house, he come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb tree to see. He kiss she, she kiss he. He strip she, she strip he. I play with me, I fall out of tree, I not see.

No fee,

Chen Lee

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What's the difference between becoming a famous stand-up comedian by your own devices vs stealing your jokes?

One is luck n' fame, the other is fuckin' lame.

Who is the most famous donkey?

Donkey Hotay

What do you call it when an famous English actor goes on a big, long tirade?

A huge rant

What do you call a famous cow ?

Legendairy.

Famous Philosophers

Aristotle - "what does it mean to be a good person"

Descartes - what does it mean to "be"

Nietzsche - "what does it mean"

Bertrand Russell - "what does 'it' mean"

C.S. Lewis - "what does it"

Lil Jon - "what"

Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.

And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.

I hate it when everyone tells me to read an author's works, but then I can't find it anhwhere.

For someone so famous, nobody seems to keep Warren Piece in stock.

A prince visited a famous Yogi

When the Prince walked up to the Yogi, He was meditating in a handstand pose. The prince felt that it was extremely rude that the man would not stand up and great him properly.

The prince said, “Sir, stand up greet me properly!”



“Namaste upside down” said the Yogi

Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish...

The first nun said with a blush, "This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?"

Saint Peter said, "Your wish i...

A famous teacher of mathematics

who had long been married without being able to impregnate his wife:

A gentleman said to her, “Ma’am, your husband is an excellent mathematician!”

“Yes” she replied, “Only he can’t multiply.”

I went to Hawaii with my dad to get a taste of their traditional culture. They set out two bowls of their famous delicacy. When I couldnt choose which one to grab, my dad said,

"Pick your poi, son"

What do you call a famous piece of music with 3 sharps?

A major success.

What's the most famous way a woman has ever hidden her affair from her husband?

Creating a religion.

There was this wonderful singer in my choir class once. She couldn't read any of the music, but then again, tons of famous singers didn't read music.

I mean, Ray Charles couldn't read sheet music to save his life.

My grandfather came up to me and asked, “do you know the most famous law firm in the world?”

I said “no, what is it?”

“Dowie Cheetem and Howe.”

If Pepper isn't the most famous doctor...

...then Who is.

How does one get famous on Reddit?

Easy, it’s a piece of cake

Why is Thor’s brother not as famous?

Because he’s rather low-key!

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A famous explorer visits a tribe of all-male natives in the Amazon and asks “how do you guys sexually satisfy yourself?”

The chief replies: “Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have s...

A bunch of actors were getting ready to be in a movie about famous singers and they were deciding who’s gonna be who

RDJ said “I’ll be Beethoven” and Hugh Jackman said “I’ll be Freddie Mercury” and then everyone turned to Arnold Schwarzenegger said “I’ll be Bach”

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an american history professor decided that he wanted a large mural painted in his home.

he called in a famous artist and explained to him that he wanted him to paint what he thought general Custers last thoughts were during his last stand. he went on holiday and he returned see a mural of a large praying heifer with a halo above its head surrounded by many native americans in erotic se...

People like to say that popular music today is so simple, but it's actually always been this way.

After all, Nina Simone is most famous for a 10 minute song about cinnamon.

Everyone knows the story of "doubting Thomas" and his reaction to the death and resurrection of Christ

He was famously known for insisting on seeing the wounds for himself, and while most think it was because he didn't believe the stories he was hearing, I know it was because he wanted to confirm that Jesus was indeed a holey man.

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Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for

For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.

Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland cou...

A man visits a show of Amanda, the famous psychic and healer.

During the show Amanda walks to him, puts her hand on his shoulder and exclaims:

"You WILL walk!"

He says softly "But I'm fine, my legs already work."

She gestures dramatically and exclaims once more:

"YOU! WILL! WALK!"

The man decides to just play along, gets u...

A magical spanish thief was caught trying to steal an early work of a famous artist

In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then poof, he vanished without a trace.

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This one is from a famous comedian in my country

Two medical students notice an old man in the sidewalk. The old man has a hand in his hat, another in his butt and is having trouble walking. One student says to the other:

\- You see that? That is a clear case of Polio.

\- Nah, that is definitely femoral dysplasia.

The students...

Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot

Pierre, the famous French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the river Seine. It is a beautiful day and love is in the air, so Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me". So our hero grabs a bottle of red wine and splashes it on Marie's lips.<...

A 70-year-old woman chose to remain overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday.

The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She requested to know why the charge was too high.

"It's a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast," she told the clerk.

...

A plane with famous and influential politicians onboard crashes into a field.

When the authorities arrive they find no survivors or dead bodies on the spot. It soon turns out that a local farmer buried them a bit further away.

The investigators ask him if he is sure there were no survivors, but he confirms that he buried each of them with his two hands.

The doct...

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for?

Old age.

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A man who has an interest in painters and their works has a child.

A man who has an interest in painters and their works has a child. A boy, who grows to have his father's passion for art. One day when the boy is coming of age they have a big argument and the young man leaves his father's house to go out on his own. He is gone for many years.

During tha...

I met a very famous asian gamer today.

His name was Lo Ping.

People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian.

Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

Everyone knows of famous martial artist, Bruce Lee

But no one ever talks about his family.

His brother, the revolutionary vegetarian activist, Brocco Lee.

His cousin, the hesitant statistician, Probab Lee.

His uncle, the trustworthy politician, Honest Lee.

And of course, the Spanish inquisitor, Juan "Expected" Lee.

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Henry Heimlich, the creator of the Heimlich maneuver, was having a horrible birthday.

Since he was a very important person, many famous people came to his birthday party. Henry was upset because people kept pretending they were choking to see what he would do. The Queen ate some birthday cake, grabbed her throat, and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was fak...

Albert Einstein once famously said...

"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"

Son: If you could save any famous person who would it be?

Daughter: Martin Luther King Jr.

Son: I would save the Rock.

Daughter: He’s not dead.

Son: You’re welcome.

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On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods, the golfer." "Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."

The couple then makes passionate love.

When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to...

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A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote.

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"





Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."





Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."





Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"





Aga...

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A QUEEN and a famous porn star died on the same day

when they fronted up to St Peter he told them there was only one space left for that day, and they’d have to argue their respective cases.The horizontal humper ripped off her top and said, “These are the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please him greatly to be able to gaz...

Famous Quotes from US Presidents

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.” ― George Washington

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book wisdom.” ― Thomas Jefferson

“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ― James Madison

“Try and fail, but don...

What do you call a pub that’s famous for its murders?

A crowbar.

A tourist climbed out of his rental car in downtown Washington, D.C. He was intent on visiting the White House and take in the city’s other world-famous sights, but he felt hungry so he decided to pop into a store to buy himself a snack.

As he pulled up to the curb outside the store, he saw a well-to-do man standing on the sidewalk.
He said to him: “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?”

“What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United ...

I heard that Jeffrey Epstein never wanted to be rich and famous.

All he ever wanted was to settle down and have kids.

A famous Admiral and an equally famous General were fishing together when a sudden storm hit.

When it died down both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the water.

The Admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the General, using an oar.

Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone...

I have a now famous relative

I have a now famous relative named Neil Coal who works in music. Back in 2003 he was under pressure to release his first album.

You might know him as Niel Diamond.

Which kind of hall is the most famous worldwide?

Jake Gyllenhaal.

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So, a guy is being shown around an insane asylum on his first day of working there

He looks into a room through a window in the door and sees a man flailing his arms back and forth. So he asks “What are you doing in there”?

The reply back is “I’m a famous baseball player, and when I get out of here I’m going to win the World Series”

Moving on to the next door and lo...

Reporter: “Sir, did you mean to come up with the, now famous, ‘no pun in ten did’ joke?”

“Nope, unintended.”

Go out camping during the lockdown to become a famous movie director.

Tentin Quarantino.

What do you call a famous dog who can play the piano

Beethoven

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The barkeep says, "You're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse replies, "I don't think I am," and vanishes from existence.

>!See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophical statement "I think, therefore I am", but to explain that part b...

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A famous magician is doing a show one night in front of a packed audience. All is going well, the people love his acts, until this one guy shouts "Aaahhh, that's bullshit! That's not magic, that's just tricks! Any idiot can do that!"

Unfazed, the magician continues, doing another one of his best acts until the same unruly guy shouts "Oh come on! Everybody knows that's just tricks, that's not real magic!"


The magician, a little rattled at this point, decides to pull out his best ever act, and cuts a guy in half on stag...

A famous musician came into our store today and complained that it was too hot and asked if I could cool him down but I politely rejected him

I told him I wasn't a fan

A guy was watching the news and realized a famous celebrity had died. He called a friend to share the news.

Jim: Did you hear that Reece Whats-her-Name died? She choked to death while eating soup...

Joe: Oh no! Witherspoon??

Jim: Yes, of course.

After contracting Covid-19 Famous Rapper DMX has promised to infect every human on earth with the virus.

This is apart of his earlier promise that "X gonna give it to ya"

How can people claim Walt Disney was anti-Semitic...

...when one of the most famous Disney songs is "When Jewish Upon a Star?"

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I wanted to watch this famous Tom Hanks movie, but I made a typo and ended up downloading a movie about a sex slave in a jungle.

It was called Forest Gimp.

My friend asked me what the name of that famous ice cube movie was.

I replied, "Titanic?".

What famous humanoid robot wrote Phantom of the Opera?

Android Lloyd Webber

Last night rioters destroyed the famous Etampes Cheese Market in Paris

All that was left was de-Brie

Just a thought. How important/famous do you have to be

For your death to be considered an assassination instead of a murder?

A famous German proverb:

Belgium is like school. It's something you have to go through.

A man walks into a bar and notices a sign advertising "World famous punch!"

The man thinks, "Awesome! I love punch!"

He approaches the bartender and asks, "Hey barkeep, saw your sign. I'd love some punch!"

The bartender replies, "Sure thing buddy, you just have to wait in the line."

The man looks around and doesn't see anything.

Once upon a time on a dig in Egypt...

A few years ago I was in Egypt, on a dig site, not far from the banks of the Nile but out of the way of the Pyramids and Statues you'd associate with the usual "big finds" of the late 19th/early 20th century.

We were looking for a tomb, a new paper had raised interesting questions about a po...

Entomology (revisited)

Why did the world famous entomologist fire their entire entourage ?

They were sick of ants (sycophants)

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There was a shaman famous for transferring illness from others to himself

A man cursed with gastrointestinal issues went to see him after he tried all other western medicine options.
After the costly treatment the man asked the shaman in disbelief: "Please, don't get my hopes up if you're a fraud. Did you really transfer my diarrhea to you?"
The shaman responded cal...

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Richard Pryor: I got famous for saying "motherfucker". Sam Jackson: I also got famous for saying "motherfucker".

Oedipus: You guys are all talk.

How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?

His face was chiseled into the mountain.

My grandmother was famous for growing delicious strawberries.

She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on top of her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited.

I fulfilled my promise.

She’s dead and berried.

I Won't Allow Anyone to Insult Helen Keller's Accomplishments.

If you say she only became famous due to blind luck, your claim shall fall on deaf ears.

My cousin is obsessed with football (soccer). So when I entered his room...

When I entered his room and saw that it was covered in posters of a famous Argentinian player, I thought to myself...

That’s a Messi room.

Famous people and their mothers

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

So this famous singer was doing a giveaway...

The prize was a tablet a brand new phone and 1 minute of singing on stage with this famous singer. So a girl named Jess signed her brother up for the giveaway knowing full well he hates crowds and technology but sure enough he won the contest and he was forced to go on stage with this singer. Boy oh...

Did you hear the mobster tell the punchline of the joke about the famous British chef that was skewered, clean through, after falling onto more than one male Bighorn sheep?

"Gored on rams, see?"

I feel famous

This entire subreddit is about me.

My friend was a pusher who aspired to become a famous rapper.

Before he went famous, he just had to drop the P.

I think fights between career boxers and famous criminals would be entertaining. We could even make it fair, with different weight classes and everything.

We just need to weigh the Pros and Cons.

Who's the most famous blacksmith of all time?

Will Smith

The most famous French chef was found dead, victim of poisoning, and searching for answers they called Inspector Poirot...

The man had no enemies, he owed no one money, there was no motive at all... After a long and fruitless search, the Inspector noticed that a single bottle was missing from the kitchen. He took a quick inventory, then concluded that this was the result of a suicide.

How did he know? Of course, ...

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For BB King's birthday his wife wanted to give him something very special. BB, as famous as he was, already had pretty much everything a person could want, money, fame and happiness.

BB's wife decided to get "BB" tattooed on her butt in such a way that a "B" is on each buttcheek. That night, after eating dinner and cake, she decided to give BB her gift. After explaining that her gift was very special, and that he'll see a very, very special name, she proceeded to bend over and p...

Don't you hate people that are famous only because of their parents...

I mean Jesus!

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A famous magician and a guy meet in a sauna

Guy: "Are you not \[famous magician\]"

Magician: "Yes I am"

Guy: "Can you show me a trick?"

Magician: "Okay, turn around, I will put my thumb in your butt"

Guy turns around.

Magician: "Do you feel it?"

Guy: "Yes"

Magician holds up his 2 thumbs: "I ha...

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A few famous scientists are playing a game of hide-and-seek

Einstein starts looking for everyone. Most of them hide, except Newton, who pulls out a piece of paper exactly 1m x 1m in size and places it on the ground next to him.

When Einstein finds him, he shouts: I've found you, Isaac! You've lost!"

The other physicist replies: "Nope. You must ...

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What would Caesar’s Famous Saying be if he were a prostitute?

Veni, Veni, Veni.

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Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.

A night of tall tales commences.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second chimes in, "Why that's nothing....

I saw a famous astrobiologist at a conference and asked what in particular he was studying.

He said: “Nothing at the moment, but we’re working on that.”

Growing up I wanted to famous for painting prisoners...

But my mother told me I couldn't; she said there's no good money in becoming a con artist.

A World War I French fighter pilot walks into a bar...

He goes up to the bartender, orders a glass of red wine and walks over to a beautiful woman. Taken to him, he passionately kisses her on the lips and then takes a sip of wine.

“I am Jacque La Roque, famous French fighter pilot! When I have the red meat I must have the red wine.

She rep...

Which famous Arab invented potato chips?

Sultan Vinegar

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My GF's famous on Pornhub!!!!!!!

She'll kill me if she finds out.

Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm...

Witherspoon?

No, with a knife.

The very famous barber

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before Icon get a haircut?"

Th...

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