What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does viagra and the Chinese government have in common?

They both have been rigging erections for years.

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[NSFW] What do pussies and Burger King have in common?

It’s generally frowned upon to eat them in the middle of a McDonald’s.

What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?

They both have to smell it all day but they don’t get to taste it.

What do women and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them..

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What do the testicles and prostate have in common?

Nothing. There’s a vas deferens between the two.

What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

What does a tornado and a wife have in common?

They both start with alot of sucking and blowing, then you end up without a roof over your head.

What does gum and a gun have in common?

Pull it out in class and everyone wants to be your friend

What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?

They both got rich off of Tesla.

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman, and a frozen beer have in common

Somewhere along the line someone forgot to pull it out

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What do tofu and a dildo have in common?

They’re both meat substitutes

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What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one.

What do the Twin Towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common?

They both went down on my dad.

Ireland and iceland has one thing in common

They are both one sea away.

What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?

Neither one can resist the urge to “crack open a cold one”.

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What do Toy Trains and Boobies have in common?

They're meant for the kids, but dad likes to play with them too.

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What does pussy and the weather have in common?

Once it's wet it's time to come in.

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What is common with my life and my dick

They both get extremely hard when I dont expect it

Also it's much shorter than I like

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What do the Boston Bombers and Hitler have in common

Both tried to end a race

What do stoners and arthritis have in common??

They both inflame joints.

What do Tv and American schools have in common?

there weren't any colours until the 60s

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What do Hitler and the Boston Marathon victims have in common?

Neither of them could finish a race.

What do furries and weeaboos have in common?

They both like dragon balls.

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What does sucking dick and cycling have in common?

If you make a lifestyle out of it; it can be hard on the knees.

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What does a brothel and the American school system have in common?

The workers are under paid, the building probably isn’t up to code and you’re likely to leave thoroughly fucked.

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What does costco and prostitutes have in common?

They both do wholesale

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It's surprisingly common for men to die during sex.

You never know if they're coming or going.

What do birds and traitors have in common?

They both fly south for the winter.

What does democracy and football have in common?

Adding the word American completely changes the meaning.

What do Daredevil and Scarlet Witch have in common?

They're superheroes dressed in red who lost their vision!

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What do tacos and penises have in common?

They only come two ways, hard and soft.

What second language is most commonly spoken by male tea drinkers?

Hebrew.

Robinhood and my wife have a lot in common...

They both like to take control of my money without my say in it

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common?

The phone rings green....green.....green! So you pink it up and say yellow.

What do a ring, a baby, and a threesome have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

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Tits and LEGO Sets have a thing in common

It's meant for the kid but the dad ends up having the most fun with it.

Whats in common between your ex and a horse?

People like riding horses.

What does a Chestnut tree and an asylum have in common

They're both full of nuts

What do Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump have in common?

They both made their fortunes playing with orange balls.

What do unwanted children and the universe have in common?

They were both suddenly banged into existence!

What do Tom Brady and Robert Kraft still have in common?

They go to Florida for happy endings

What does a forklift and a woman have in common?

If you don't have one, you'll need to unload by hand.

A very common male fantasy is to have 2 women at the same time

One to cook, one to clean..


Ok ban me but joke is funny.

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What does a barista, a stripper and a middle aged office worker have in common?

When they return to work, they all say "Well, back to the grind."

What do you and covid have in common?

You’re both breathtaking.

What do Jeffrey Epstein and Christmas lights have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

What do Praying Mantises and the French have in common?

They both like getting off with the head after being screwed royally.

What does a good book and an old dog have in common?

You can’t put it down.

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What does having sex for the first time and snow have in common?

You don't know how many inches you'll get and how long it will last

What do trump and a Christmas tree both have in common ?

They both get thrown out in January

What do I have in common with ghosts?

Only naive people believe in me :<

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What does smoking a cigarette and eating pussy have in common?

When you get to the butt the flavor changes

A reporter surveys the common people

"What's your opinion on the hike in fuel prices?"

"I didn't know there was a hike. I always get fuel for 50 bucks and no one has asked for more"

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What common interests do a horny teenage kid and an interview panel have?

They both prefer someone with great experience :)

What does that couch have in common with your mom?

Both of them are supportive

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What does a kraken and a prostitute have in common?

Both of their bellies are full of seamen.

What do your Souls and Kidneys have in Common?

If you are strapped for cash, You always have the option of selling them to the highest bidder.

What do jail and Shift have in common?

They both turn o into O

What do guys who are into short girls and mobile game ads have in common?

They both have small exes.

What do Michael Jackson and USA have in common?

They both desperately wanted to be white. And the last great thing they did was a moon walk.

What do the British and murder hornets have in common?

They’re both an invasive species.

What do Bad computers and Children have in common?

They're worth more if you sell their parts separately

What do condoms and masks have in common?

Its safe to come inside if you're wearing them

What do a computer and a shark have in common?

They both have megabites

What do a tupperware collector and an eskimo have in common?

They both like a tight seal

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What does a good bartender and an expensive prostitute have in common?

They’ll give ya good head.

This one is a bit of a long one so just bear with me. It is a joke commonly said among post soviet people

Stalin sits at his usual table, in the glorius kremlin studying the map of eastern germany. His pencil sitting proudly beside him. Comrade Stalin looks away for a split second, and the pencil is gone! Stalin takes out a second pencil and places it on the table. Looks the other way again and the seco...

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

What does Bud light have in common with making love in a canoe?

Fu**ing close to water! :-)

What do skinny jeans and a cheap hotel have in common?

There's no ballroom.

Friend told me this a couple years ago. I was reminded today, by wearing skinny jeans and tugging at my crotch the entire time.

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What does Philosophy, Anal and getting in trouble with the Mafia have in common?

Deep Shit

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What do train sets and boobs have in common?

They’re both meant for children but grown-ups love them.

What does weed and the clap have in common?

They both take ten days to cure.

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What do Jesus and Viagra have in common?

Raising the dead.

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What’s does a Harvard applicant and a Pornhub applicant have in common?

Prentending to be bi for diversity points

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their greatest hit was The Wall.

[Historical] What do the Persians, young boys and spiced lamb meat have in common?

Getting speared by the Ancient Greeks

What do Stephen Hawking and Tony Hawk have in common?

The both love ramps.

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What do a tornado and a divorce have in common in West Virginia?

Either way you lose the mobile home.

What do air conditions and computers have in common?

They work fine until you open Windows.

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What do toilet paper and the USS Enterprise have in common?

They both circle Uranus and pick up klingons

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

What do the movies The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people

What does communism and rain have in common?

Sooner or later they all fall

What do the kardashians and the egyptians have in common?

They didnt know their daddies would becomes mummies

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What do babies and motorhomes have in common?

They are expensive money pits that are very hard to sell and carry their own poop.

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What do lazy fishermen and porn studios have in common?

They both use casting couches.

What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both explored the unconscious.

Why are simple jokes like a common cold?

Because everyone gets it.

What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common?

Republicans want to block their transition

Q: What do tornado's and a redneck divorce have in common?

A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

My memes, chicken and children have one thing in common

They have to be deep-fried beforehand

What do playing a guitar and running a marathon have in common?

I can’t do either of them.

What do hookers and criminals have in common

They’ve both been in hand cuffs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do both smoking cigarettes & eating p*ssy have in common?

The flavors change when you get to the butt.

Two retired British Indian Army officers sat in the common room of their nursing home waiting for tea when they began reminiscing about their time India.

“Say, old chap, did I ever tell you about the time I was attacked by a Bengal tiger?”

“I dare say I’ve not heard that one.”

“I decided one summer to try my hand at taking down one of the royal beasts. I hired a guide from the local village and armed with my rifle we set out. Several ho...

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What do BMWs and haemorrhoids have in common?

Sooner or later, every asshole has one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats common between eyes and butt cheeks?

between both of them, something smells

What do Mexico and Canada have in common?

They both border on stupidity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do boobs and the sun have in common?

if you wear sunglasses you can look at them longer

What do your girlfriend and KFC have in common?

Once you’re done with the thighs and the breast, all you have is a greasy box to put your bone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do condoms and women have in common?

They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick

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What does Stand up comedy and Sex have in common?

If you haven't heard any noise in a while, change what you're doing.

What have good cops and good prisoners in common?

They both get released early for good behaviour.

What do a gynecologist and a deaf person have in common?...

They both can read lips

Me and my first drink of the day have something in common

We are both alcoholic

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What do Riley June Williams and breakup sex have in common?

Getting fingered by your ex.

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What's common between strippers and giants?

They both grind men's bones to make bread

I've met a track and field athlete that commonly chokes whenever he runs too fast,

It became a running gag for him.

What does s*x and an inside joke have in common?

You had to be there to get it.

What do an electrician and a mortician have in common?

They’re both shocked when they touch a live one.

What does a medical equation have in common with an onion?

They both make you cry

What do an internet junkie on dialup and an F18 pilot have in common?

Both break out in cold sweat when their screen show NO CARRIER.

I told my girlfriend she has a lot in common with cigarettes.

"awww is because you are addicted to me?" she replied

I said "no, you are costing me a fortune whilst slowly killing me"

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

What Do Living And Dying Have In Common?

I haven't done either.

What does Cyberpunk 2077 and Jackie Welles ave in common?

They both died two hours after release.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both need to be changed regularly.

And for the same reason.

What do a man with diarrhea and a electric car owner have in common?

They both hope to make it home

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common?

They’re both thinking “oh fuck, mom’s gonna kill me”

What does Thanos, Nike, and Darth Sidious have in common?

Just Do It

(would also accept uses young children to complete goals.

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