What does women breast and Disney land have in common?

They are made for kids but adults enjoy them!

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What do McDonalds and pussy have in common?

It's generally frowned upon to eat in a Burger King.

What do sperms and lawyers have in common?

1 in 50,000,000 have a chance of becoming a human being

What does a redneck and a hamburger have in common?

They're both in bread.

What do Chris Hemsworth and Mike Tyson have in common after a workout?

They're both Thor.

What does a Gynecologist have in common with the pizza delivery guy?

They can each smell it, but can't eat it.

What do skinny jeans and middle-class houses have in common?

No ballroom.

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What does tofu and a dildo have in common?

They are both meat substitutes!

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What does a woman’s asshole and a 9-volt battery have in common?

You know it’s wrong, but you put your tongue on it anyway.

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What does a 9 volt battery and a woman’s arsehole have in common?

You know it’s wrong, but sooner or later you’re going to stick your tongue on it.

What do a near sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common

A wet nose

What does caps lock and prison have in common?

They both turn "o" into "O".

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What does Disney and Viagra have in common?

You wait 3 hours for a 3 minute ride.

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What do plants and male strippers have in common?

They grow when you make it rain.

What’s the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common?

Living within continents.

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Three reditt astronauts, American, Russian and Chinese go the moon on separate missions arriving at same time, what is one common thing they all say upon landing

"My tits are jacked"

What do a wife and hand grenade have in common?

You pull the ring, and there goes the house.

What do depressed people and monkeys have in common?

They hang from trees

What do Alexander The Great and Winnie The Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

What do noodles and women have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them

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What does a roll of toilet paper and the U.S.S. Enterprise have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for klingons.

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man

A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man stand around a piece of fruit.

When asked what the fruit is, the philosopher says “We can never know what this piece of fruit truly is. We assume, through wisdom, that the form of the fruit is closest to our perceptions of the fruit”.

T...

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What does a fruit fetishist and a guy who slips on a sidewalk have in common?

"Fucking banana peels!!"

What does YouTube and the US Police have in common?

They take people down before they're proven innocent.

What does a bag of chips have in common with a gun?

When you pull them out in class, suddenly everyone wants to be your friend.

What do pasta and cars have in common?

I don't like either al dente

What do a neckbeard and a cold beverage have in common?

They get sweaty sitting at room temperature.

What do my dms and a vegan get together have in common

There's a whole lot of unwanted meet

What do Eminem and Suicide bombers have in common?

they only get one shot

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What does a guy with severe anger management issues and the girl who's giving him a blowjob have in common?

They're both fucked in the head

What do Rubik’s cubes and your wee wee have in common?

Well for most people the more you play with them the harder they get... for me, I play with them for a few seconds and then it’s finished.

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What does viagra and the Chinese government have in common?

They both have been rigging erections for years.

What do a bikini model and turkey have in common?

The white parts are the best.

We need to stop making jokes about common uses for rubber.

It's a tired subject.

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What do peanut butter and prostitutes have in common?

They both spread for bread

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What do a therapist and a septic engineer have in common?

They both get paid to deal with your shit.

What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

What do a country hotel and a tight pair of pants have in common?

There's no ballroom.

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What do an ambulance and a porn star have in common?

They’re both really loud when they come.

What do Scarlet Witch and Daredevil both have in common?

They both wear red and lost their Vision.

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What do data and baby shit have in common?

They are both removed with a wipe!

What do Deaf people and Italians have in common?

They both talk with their hands.

Parallel lines have so much in common

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

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What do the testicles and prostate have in common?

Nothing. There’s a vas deferens between the two.

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What do men and public restrooms have in common?

They’re either taken or full or shit.

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What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

What do 1900s muders and teenager's dirty clothes have in common?

They go to the chair

What does Iowa corn and Iowa football have in common?

They're both better that what Nebraska has to offer.

What do Santa Clause and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come when you're asleep

Just made up a joke and it’s brilliant! What does Donald trump and a Mac book pro have in common?

They aren’t PC

What do the Royal Family and Probability math equations have in common?

They are not important and nobody cares about them.

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Whats in common with spinach soup and butts3x ?

If you were forced to try it as a kid chances are you won't like it as an adult

What's in common with Chinese Rockets and telling morbid jokes to my friends?

They never land properly.

What's common between a skinny woman and a fat man?

Both refuse to wear bras.

Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain really did have so much in common.

Because both were successful punk rockers, who are most well known for killing Kurt Cobain.

What does a tornado and a wife have in common?

They both start with alot of sucking and blowing, then you end up without a roof over your head.

What does my dad and a large crowd have in common?

Never seen them since 2019

What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common?

Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.

What do colour-blind people and cyclists have in common?

They can't tell the difference between red and green.

What is common between Reddit and China?

They both don't like opinions.

What's common in dark humor and food?

Not everybody gets it.

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What do toy trains and boobs have in common?

They're both made for kids but daddies get to play with em.

What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?

They both got rich off of Tesla.

What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?

Neither one can resist the urge to “crack open a cold one”.

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What do an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I dont care if she has one

What do children and police have in common?

They’re both afraid of the dark.

What does Old McDonald's farm and an old Asian women's closet have in common?

There's a muumuu here, a muumuu there....

What do rich folks and rats have in common?

They’re leaving New York City

What do aerial shots and Palestinian children have in common

They're both shot by drone

What do a ring, a baby, and a threesome have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

What do a cancer surgeon and a psychologist have in common?

Women see them when they need to get something off their chest.

What do the United States and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both focus too much on race.

What do musketeers have in common with lonely lumberjack?

They both come in trees.

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

A sheep and a goat went on a blind date and found out they had nothing in common.

When asked about their experience,

the Sheep went: “Bah”

and the Goat went “Meh”.

What does a timex and a girlfriend with Tourette’s syndrome have in common?

Both can take a licking and keep on ticking

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What does eating pussy and smoking cigarettes have in common?

They both taste differently when you get to the butt.

What do rich people and drug addicts have in common?

They both have friends in high places.

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What does drinking kombucha and giving blow jobs have in common?

If you've ever finished one properly, you already know.

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What does pussy and the weather have in common?

Once it's wet it's time to come in.

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What is common with my life and my dick

They both get extremely hard when I dont expect it

Also it's much shorter than I like and is pointless

Everyone else seems better than mine and

no one is interested in mine either

What does free speech and my girlfriend have in common

They're both imaginary

What do the Twin Towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common?

They both went down on my dad.

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What does a brothel and the American school system have in common?

The workers are under paid, the building probably isn’t up to code and you’re likely to leave thoroughly fucked.

What do old men and old computers have in common?

3.5 inch floppies.

What do chiropractors and comedians have in common?

They both crack people up.

What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman, and a frozen beer have in common

Somewhere along the line someone forgot to pull it out

What do NASCAR and gang bangs have in common?

If you’re not first, you’re last.

What do stoners and arthritis have in common??

They both inflame joints.

What do your room and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?

Things mysteriously disappear there.

What do Lil Wayne and Orca Whales in Captivity have in common?

Their careers in the entertainment industry should’ve ended a long time ago.

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What do the Boston Bombers and Hitler have in common

Both tried to end a race

What is the most common food eaten in an airport?

Plane Bagels

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What does sucking dick and cycling have in common?

If you make a lifestyle out of it; it can be hard on the knees.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.

What do the Apostle Paul, Bon Jovi and Manfred Mann's Earth Band all have in common?

They were all "blinded by the light"

What do a zoo owner and a Python data analyst have in common?

They both import pandas.

What does Princess Peach and Jesus have in common?

They both got nailed by an Italian

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Tits and LEGO Sets have a thing in common

It's meant for the kid but the dad ends up having the most fun with it.

Ireland and iceland has one thing in common

They are both one sea away.

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What do Hitler and the Boston Marathon victims have in common?

Neither of them could finish a race.

What do Tv and American schools have in common?

there weren't any colours until the 60s

Robinhood and my wife have a lot in common...

They both like to take control of my money without my say in it

What does a forklift and a woman have in common?

If you don't have one, you'll need to unload by hand.

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What does lite beer and making love in a canoe have in common?

They're both fucking close to water.

What do an Archaeologist and Cancel Culture have in common?

They both love to dig up the past

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What do tacos and penises have in common?

They only come two ways, hard and soft.

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It's surprisingly common for men to die during sex.

You never know if they're coming or going.

What do furries and weeaboos have in common?

They both like dragon balls.

What does Kurt Cobain and Michelangelo have in common?

They used their heads to paint a ceiling

What do birds and traitors have in common?

They both fly south for the winter.

What do trump and a Christmas tree both have in common ?

They both get thrown out in January

What do baseball and baking a cake have in common?

It's all about the batter

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What does having sex for the first time and snow have in common?

You don't know how many inches you'll get and how long it will last

What do Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump have in common?

They both made their fortunes playing with orange balls.

What do Mexico and Canada have in common?

They both border on stupidity.

What does a catholic, a Jew, a Muslim, and a black person have in common these days?

None of them know how it feels to be discriminated against at a water fountain

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What do plumbers and strippers have in common?

They both get on their knees and show you their ass.

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common?

The phone rings green....green.....green! So you pink it up and say yellow.

What do a drill Sargent and a pediatrician have in common?

Little patients.

A very common male fantasy is to have 2 women at the same time

One to cook, one to clean..


Ok ban me but joke is funny.

What does a Chestnut tree and an asylum have in common

They're both full of nuts

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