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Democratic Jokes

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What's worse than inciting insurrection to overturn a democratic election?

Lying about a blowjob, apparently.

A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you...

A: Have lunch.

B: Browse reddit.

A Russian had a talking parrot that constantly trashed Putin. When the man's friends came over he'd take out the parrot and bird would stuff like "Putin is a moron", "Putin without a shirt looks like a ballerina", and "Putin cannot swim cuz sh!t floats". one day banging on the door, "KGB open up!"

The man panics and hides the parrot in the freezer. The KGB ransack the house and can't find the parrot. After they leave the man takes the parrot out of the freezer and says "you see how stupid the government is". The parrot shaking start saying "Putin is a genius", and "Putin is the best democrati...

If I had a dollar every time one of my professors complained about the collapsing American democratic society...

I would have a small loan of a million dollars.

Why doesn’t our democratic society permit a man to have 2 wives?

Q: Why doesn’t our democratic society permit a man to have 2 wives?
A: Because our laws protect us against cruel and unusual punishment.

A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, “do you know what I say to sheep like you?...

Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.”

What do you call a democratic skeleton?

A riberal

Some Russian anti-war jokes

1. "Partial mobilization" is when you are drafted in whole, and returned back in parts.

2. "Dad, why are we hauled off to the trenches?" "I don't know, son, I'm not into politics."

3. For a long time, the government told us, "if you don't like Russia, go to another country." Now they t...

The bra is the most democratic piece of clothing

It elevates the small ones, it supports the big ones and it keeps the masses together.

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

What song does an dying anti-democratic bird make?

Coup....coup...

The Democratic nominee walks into a bar

because Donald Trump set it so low.

A man lives in a largely democratic neighborhood

He starts hanging up a “Trump 2020” sign. All of his neighbors see it, and tear it down. He puts up a new one. They tear it down. After he puts a third “Trump 2020” sign up, his neighbors approach him.

“Why are you hanging up a Trump sign? We always though you liked Biden!”

“I do” repl...

Some may say the democratic national convention is where we nominate the president

I think it’s just a political party

Eric Swalwell has become the first Democratic candidate to withdraw his bid for POTUS

I guess he passed the torch.

If all of the Democratic candidates this primary had military experience...

...then, in theory, we could have seen a race between G.I. Joe and Colonel Sanders.

So many Democratic Presidential candidates it's hard to know who to pick, but there's something about Mayor Pete...

I can really see myself getting behind him and going all-in

How many parties does it take to run a democratic nation?

Two, one to... just kidding you can't run a democratic nation on two parties.

Why isn't North Korea democratic?

Because Kim Jung Un doesn't want a public erection

It looks like Joe Biden might win the democratic nomination.

If he wins the presidency maybe Hunter can get a job closer to home.

Trump has a lot of opponents in the Democratic primaries, but who are his two biggest allies?

The coronavirus and touchscreen voting.

Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house...

the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%.

The Democratic People's Republic of North Korea

Why is Kim Jong Un so evil? Because he has no Seoul. In fact, he made a Korea out of it.

Why was Kim Il Sung evil sometimes but not evil other times? He used to have a Seoul.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like this new Democratic candidate, Pete Buttigieg. Some people think he's not experienced enough...

But it's my vote, so I'll Buttigieg of that.

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