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Democratic Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's worse than inciting insurrection to overturn a democratic election?

Lying about a blowjob, apparently.

A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you...

A: Have lunch.

B: Browse reddit.

Why doesn’t our democratic society permit a man to have 2 wives?

Q: Why doesn’t our democratic society permit a man to have 2 wives?
A: Because our laws protect us against cruel and unusual punishment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Republican and Democratic congressman spot each other at Disney World with their respective families.

The Republican turns red from embarrassment.

“Look man, don’t tell any of my colleagues I was down here supporting *Disney.* They’ll eat me alive for supporting this woke company!”

The Democrat replies:

“Shit, you think I want anyone to know I was down here in Florida?”

A Russian had a talking parrot that constantly trashed Putin. When the man's friends came over he'd take out the parrot and bird would stuff like "Putin is a moron", "Putin without a shirt looks like a ballerina", and "Putin cannot swim cuz sh!t floats". one day banging on the door, "KGB open up!"

The man panics and hides the parrot in the freezer. The KGB ransack the house and can't find the parrot. After they leave the man takes the parrot out of the freezer and says "you see how stupid the government is". The parrot shaking start saying "Putin is a genius", and "Putin is the best democrati...

What do you call a democratic skeleton?

A riberal

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

The bra is the most democratic piece of clothing

It elevates the small ones, it supports the big ones and it keeps the masses together.

The Democratic nominee walks into a bar

because Donald Trump set it so low.

What song does an dying anti-democratic bird make?

Coup....coup...

A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, “do you know what I say to sheep like you?...

Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.”

A man lives in a largely democratic neighborhood

He starts hanging up a “Trump 2020” sign. All of his neighbors see it, and tear it down. He puts up a new one. They tear it down. After he puts a third “Trump 2020” sign up, his neighbors approach him.

“Why are you hanging up a Trump sign? We always though you liked Biden!”

“I do” repl...

Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Democratic National Committee.

That's it. That's the entire fucking joke.

The Democratic Response

(in response to similar joke posted by Republicans yesterday)

I recently asked my white friend's son what he wanted to be when he grows up. He said he wanted to be President some day. Both of his parents, conservative Republicans, were standing there, so I asked him, 'If you were President, w...

Why isn't North Korea democratic?

Because Kim Jung Un doesn't want a public erection

The Democratic People's Republic of North Korea

Why is Kim Jong Un so evil? Because he has no Seoul. In fact, he made a Korea out of it.

Why was Kim Il Sung evil sometimes but not evil other times? He used to have a Seoul.

How many parties does it take to run a democratic nation?

Two, one to... just kidding you can't run a democratic nation on two parties.

Some may say the democratic national convention is where we nominate the president

I think it’s just a political party

If I had a dollar every time one of my professors complained about the collapsing American democratic society...

I would have a small loan of a million dollars.

If all of the Democratic candidates this primary had military experience...

...then, in theory, we could have seen a race between G.I. Joe and Colonel Sanders.

Eric Swalwell has become the first Democratic candidate to withdraw his bid for POTUS

I guess he passed the torch.

Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house...

the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%.

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India. In Usa U Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can’t Susu. In India U Can Susu In Public Place But Cant Kiss.

Why are there no chairs in the Democratic National Headquarters?

Because everyone is left leaning.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like this new Democratic candidate, Pete Buttigieg. Some people think he's not experienced enough...

But it's my vote, so I'll Buttigieg of that.

What's the difference between a democratic system and a feudal system?

In one your vote counts, in the other, your count votes.

call me crazy, but i think it is possible for a Democratic president who spent his first term setting records for high inflation, gas prices and low approval ratings to win a second term in office

Jimmy Carter 2024

My neighbors are Democrats and I'm Republican

One day I was working in the garden when they came home with their young daughter from school.
I asked them how everything was going and they told me that a job orientation week had just taken place.

So I asked their daughter: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

She respond...

So many Democratic Presidential candidates it's hard to know who to pick, but there's something about Mayor Pete...

I can really see myself getting behind him and going all-in

I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria

That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.

Fed up

A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party? " "About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly. "NO! " exploded the teacher.. "I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches? " "Well," replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and every night...

I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms.

Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.

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