UPJOKE
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What do you call a person who's an expert in American culture and politics?

A European Redditor.

Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture.

A year later the two are having a chat:

-- I am so disappointed in my son, I don't know what to do... Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian!

-- My son as well, this is a tragedy.

-- We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us.

The two then visit the...

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

I'm not saying woke culture is killing comedy...

..., but when I made a joke about my obesity, the crowd booed me and told me "How dare you!? You're handsome!"

After the invention of time travel, many historic figures were brought to the present to experience modern culture with varying degrees of success.

George Washington nearly had a heart-attack because of the current state of the two party system, Napoleon tried to conquer Europe once more, and Alfred Einstein became an avid redditer, amongst many other historic events.

But out of all the crazy things happening because of time travel, the ...

My friend is from another culture, and he’ll ask me questions about Christianity

Like this one time, he was confused about the story of the birth of Jesus.

“Why was the mob involved?

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Says right here, that there were three wise guys there.”

(Edited thanks to u/soveranol for the better joke)

What is the most influential culture in the world?

Agriculture.

I recently took a trip to learn more about Greek culture and to gain a greater appreciation of their amazing works of art and architecture.

The British museum is a really cool place.

Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine.

Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine

I repost each Culture Club pun at least five times for maximum internet points

I suppose you could call me a karma karma karma karma karma comedian….

A man was walking through a park

He stopped by a flock of seagulls sitting on the grass verge next to a pond trying to snap up some worms from the mud. One of the seagulls drops a worm and shouts "oh for god sake".

The man is intrigued that it can talk so he goes and asks it where it's from. "I'm from around London but I tr...

I love how they say that white people have no culture

Yet who came up with the most used word in rap songs?

Don't get lost in the mountains

Disclaimer: I know this is a childish joke, but I like it and when you tell this one at a party with drunken people, you can almost guarantee a laugh from everyone.

A journalist went to a village in a mountain range to learn about their traditions. He walks up to the village elder and asks: "...

I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

A school teacher invited a Native American to give a presentation to his students about their culture

After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language.

"One of the interesting things about our language," he said, "is that there are no cuss words."

"But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?" asked a s...

I have a joke and I don't know if it translates well in all cultures, so let me break it down into bits.

01100001 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101011 01100101

What do you call a

group of Whales?
A Pod

A group of Crows?
A: A murder

A group of Red Herring?












A Culture War

When I was in America, I really got into the culture.

I went into the shop and the guy said ‘Have a nice day’ and I didn’t. So I sued him.

Someone asked me who my favorite vampire is in pop culture...

I said, "The one from Sesame Street."

They said, "He doesn't count!"

"I assure you," I said, "He does."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Social experiment

Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise deserted island. They decided on one man from France, one from Germany, and one from Japan.

The German was told he is in charge of shelter, the Frenchman was put in charge of meals, a...

I've always been interested by the way different cultures say farewell

I guess you could say I'm bye curious

What do an Archaeologist and Cancel Culture have in common?

They both love to dig up the past

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.

He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me ...

In all of the possible universes where Spider-Man is of another culture or race, why can’t he be Australian?

Because if he got bitten by a spider in Australia he’d just die.

Respect all religion and culture

They gave you holiday

I know this is unpopular to say in this inclusive culture but there are some races I don't like

Especially the 800 m dash

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Stork family comes home at the end of the day

The storks sit down for dinner. Mama Stork says "Father Stork, what did you do today?"

Father Stork says "I was out making couples very happy. What did you do today Mama Stork?"

Mama Stork says "I also was out making couples very happy. What did you do today Baby Stork?"

Baby...

If anyone says you have to work 365 days in 2020 in order to succeed, they don’t have your best interests in mind and is preaching toxic hustle culture

You need to work 366 days cause it’s a leap year

In German culture they tend to save the best food for last...

...its known as “furstwurst”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Greek and an Italian were sitting in a coffee shop one afternoon discussing who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to philosophy.

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the G...

Over a thousand years ago, there was a culture in Southeast Asia that worshipped parrots.

They were pollytheistic.

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture

I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

Did you know that cultures with arranged marriages typically serve melon at the wedding feast?

Yep. It symbolizes the fact that they cantelope.

I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.

Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.

That pro-crime culture is getting ridiculous!

My little brother's teacher asked "Who shot Abraham Lincoln?". He answered "John Wilkes Booth", and the next recess, his locker had "STOP SNITCHING" painted on it.

There was a man who believed that he could cook the best meal ever existed in the history of kitchen culture, and he wanted to show his dish to the most talented an known chefs from all around the world

He invited all the top chefs of the world that he could reach to and organized a nice evening where he would cook and serve his special course. After the chefs came, he went to the kitchen and began cooking. Even though the chefs insisted, he didn't let anyone in and mysteriously prepared his dish.<...

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An American anthropologist is studying cultures throughout Western Africa.

He discovers an isolated civilization in the West African Jungle. It’s a small village with wooden houses and plenty of domesticated animals. The anthropologist is impressed by the organization of the village and becomes eager to learn more about the culture of it’s inhabitants.

He approa...

I went to Hawaii with my dad to get a taste of their traditional culture. They set out two bowls of their famous delicacy. When I couldnt choose which one to grab, my dad said,

"Pick your poi, son"

You know how Santa Claus is different in each culture?

In pirate culture he’s called shanty claus

Today's litigious culture is ridiculous. I was injured in a slip/trip/fall from a cardboard box.

I sued the box and won £5000 in corrugations.

The most admirable quality of Greek and Roman culture:

their ability to give terms to scientific phenomenon centuries before they were discovered.

Ezra, a devout Jew, sent his son to Israel to learn about the culture.

When Ezra's son came back, he told his father, "I had a great time in Israel. I even converted to Christianity!"

Ezra was so shocked that he decided to tell his next door neighbour, Levi, also a devout Jew.

"Funny you should mention this," said Levi. "I too sent my son to Israel and he...

How do you spot a cultured Redditor?

They grow blue cheese.

I heard they want to subvert the culture of the mining industry by phasing out the word 'mine'

They want to call it an ore well.

2019: Cancel culture has gone too far

2020: Hold my Corona

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are several distinct cultural differences between Australian and America. For example, Americans are really offended by the word cunt...

Conversely, Australians are really offended by schools being shot up.

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.

When the son returned, he said,

"Papa, I had a great time in Israel! ...by the way, I converted to Christianity."

"Oy vey," thought the father. "What have I done?"

He took his problem to his best friend. "Aron," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. W...

People who don’t eat cheese because they are lactose intolerant…

…need to learn to be more accepting of different cultures

I hate people who pretend they're cultured when they talk about Mozart.

I bet they haven't seen any of his paintings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's not surprising that the Japanese have adopted so much of American culture.

The first American product they tested blew everyone away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gay man had culture

The stool test confirmed.

An Italian and A Greek debate culture.

An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...

A Samoan man gave me a detailed history and explanation of his heritage, culture, and the country in which he was raised

Those specific islanders!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar...

...mitzvah, the Jew is showing the Muslim around and teaching him about their culture, the Muslim turns to the Jew and says "This is very nice, but the air is stagnant in here" the Jew thinks for a moment and asks "yes, we're in an indoor banquet hall and the windows are closed, it seems normal to m...

A Taiwanese joke translated and adapted to suit global culture.

I failed my geography test because of one single question.

The question was: "Where's the capital of Ukraine?"

I responded with "Kyiv" when the answer was "Moscow".

I argued that the teacher doesn't know anything about geography while the teacher said I know nothing about commu...

Hawaii is a veritable island paradise for someone studying Spock's culture

It's a Vulcanology hot spot

(I land chains of jokes like this one, occasionally)

Running culture has gotten weird

Back in my day we wore running shoes and shorts and just tried our best, but I showed up to a 3K and all the people were in hoods and robes and they were all super unpleasant.

I hate the PC culture we live in these days.

Can't a guy just use a Playstation without getting called a "peasant"?

Some bloke just told me I have no culture

Just because I can name more ninja turtles than renaissance artists.

Had a convo with my mom who doesn't know much about pop culture.

Mom: HEYY!!

Me: hey

Mom: I need a favor.

Me: WTF

Mom: what do you mean by WTF?

Me: What's The Favor

My dad wanted to learn more about Korean culture.

K, pop.

Americans may be ignorant of other cultures...

But at least we invented the hamburger

What's the difference between America and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

Inspired by “Vulture Culture”: two vultures are boarding a plane, one of them is dragging a dead chicken. The gate attendant stops them and says:

I’m sorry sir, but this airline does not allow carrion.

C.S.Lewis once wrote an anthology on anime culture...

...The Chronicles of Nani-a.

I am a builder from Sioux Falls, and I was recently in Madrid at a local tavern, and couldn’t believe the amount of code violations in their building practices. This led me to accept that they are their own culture and....

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn condition.

TIL that in some cultures, you are not a man until your father calls you one

TIAL that I am a 38-year-old boy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Ukrainians and a Russian get on a plane.

They're seated next to each other the Russian having the aisle seat.

He gets comfortable for the flight and takes his shoes off, when one of the Ukrainians says:

"Fuck, I'm thirsty, I could use a coke," he starts to get up, when the Russian interrupts him.

"No, no, no. Sit down,...

It just occurred to me why the Grim Reaper is so popular in myths and cultures throughout the world

People are always dying to meet him

Some people are sceptical of migrants because they think they don't embrace their new country's culture

But I teach calculus to international students at my local university, and they all integrate really well.

My book on Nordic cultures is taking a long time to write

I don’t think I’ll ever make it to the Finnish.

What would a book on BDSM culture written in alabama be called?

Fifty Shades of Hay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's interesting how mythology has permeated our culture. Just look at Oedipus...

he's the most famous motherfucker around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cruise ship spies a seemingly deserted island in the distance...

(Warning: This is a joke that might only be understood by Jews. That said, it's a classic, and one that most Jews find to be extremely funny and spot on. If you're not Jewish, read on if you would like to glean some insight into Jewish humor and culture.)

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So a cruise sh...

I cooked something so good a culture was built upon it.

However according to the EPA it was a biohazard.

Have you ever heard of the remote petri culture?

They have different jeans then the rest.

50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.

At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".

American Tourist

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of beer.

After awhile, he finds himself in a very hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Comparing cultures

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Pantheon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A researcher was conducting a study on the effects of gore across various cultures

He selected an American, a European, and a Japanese man. To see the reactions of these people, he used a picture of a man with his toes freshly amputated.

The American man seemed a bit squeamish when presented with the picture, but otherwise he was okay.

The European man wrinkled his f...

An Australian rugby fan, a South African rugby fan and a New Zealand rugby fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze...

...when Saudi police rush in and arrest them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for consuming the booze they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able successfully to appeal their sentences dow...

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