UPJOKE
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Canada could have had it all: American industry, British Culture, and French Cuisine.

Instead, they got: French Industry, American culture, and British cuisine

What is the most influential culture in the world?

Agriculture.

Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture.

A year later the two are having a chat:

-- I am so disappointed in my son, I don't know what to do... Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian!

-- My son as well, this is a tragedy.

-- We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us.

The two then visit the...

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The Greeks vs. the Italians A Greek and Italian were debating who has the superior culture.

The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon.”


The Italian says, “We have the Coliseum.”


The Greeks says, “We had great mathematicians and philosophers.”


The Italian says, “We created a world empire and established Pax Romana.”


And so on and so on for hours...

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

Respect all religion and culture

They gave you holiday

What do you call a person who's an expert in American culture and politics?

A European Redditor.

Someone asked me who my favorite vampire is in pop culture...

I said, "The one from Sesame Street."

They said, "He doesn't count!"

"I assure you," I said, "He does."

Americans may be ignorant of other cultures...

But at least we invented the hamburger

When I was in America, I really got into the culture.

I went into the shop and the guy said ‘Have a nice day’ and I didn’t. So I sued him.

Russia's Ministry of Culture renamed Tolstoy's most famous book.

It's now called "Special Military Operation and Peace"

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Greek vs Italian Culture

One day , two men, a Greek and an Italian were sitting in a coffee shop discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes the Greek says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks ...

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture

I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

I love how they say that white people have no culture

Yet who came up with the most used word in rap songs?

I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies

For example, if you asked the question: “What separates man from animals?” You would get vastly different answers.

The Greeks would say “Philosophy and Law”

The Chinese would say “Morals and Art”

The Romans would say “The Mediterranean and the Danube”

What's the difference between a yogurt and The USA ?

If you leave the yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture



Edit : didn't think i'd have to do this but here we go.

This is a Joke subreddit, this is a joke.

I'm not saying woke culture is killing comedy...

..., but when I made a joke about my obesity, the crowd booed me and told me "How dare you!? You're handsome!"

An Italian and A Greek debate culture.

An Italian and a Greek are debating the intellectual and cultural values of their respective countries. The Greek scoffs, "You Italians learned everything you know from us Greeks. For instance, we came up with the Classical Pantheon." The Italian replies, "Yes, but we improved upon everything you di...

One thing that bothers me about sourdough is the same yeast cultures get used over and over

Until eventually they all wind up in bred

That pro-crime culture is getting ridiculous!

My little brother's teacher asked "Who shot Abraham Lincoln?". He answered "John Wilkes Booth", and the next recess, his locker had "STOP SNITCHING" painted on it.

2019: Cancel culture has gone too far

2020: Hold my Corona

My friend is from another culture, and he’ll ask me questions about Christianity

Like this one time, he was confused about the story of the birth of Jesus.

“Why was the mob involved?

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Says right here, that there were three wise guys there.”

(Edited thanks to u/soveranol for the better joke)

I repost each Culture Club pun at least five times for maximum internet points

I suppose you could call me a karma karma karma karma karma comedian….

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Gay man had culture

The stool test confirmed.

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Italians have always copied good inventions from other cultures and made them exceptional

Beretta took Walthers's designs and made them sexy

They discovered noodles from china, removed the dog, and created pasta

They stole the idea of arches from the Etruscans and built colosseums and aqueducts

They took the gladius from celt-iberians and conquered the world with it<...

A school teacher invited a Native American to give a presentation to his students about their culture

After discussing history, traditions and lifestyle, the conversation turned to language.

"One of the interesting things about our language," he said, "is that there are no cuss words."

"But then what do you say if you are hammering a nail and accidentally hit your finger?" asked a s...

Running culture has gotten weird

Back in my day we wore running shoes and shorts and just tried our best, but I showed up to a 3K and all the people were in hoods and robes and they were all super unpleasant.

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to Israel for a year to absorb the culture.

When the son returned, he said,

"Papa, I had a great time in Israel! ...by the way, I converted to Christianity."

"Oy vey," thought the father. "What have I done?"

He took his problem to his best friend. "Aron," he said, "I sent my son to Israel, and he came home a Christian. W...

I've always been interested by the way different cultures say farewell

I guess you could say I'm bye curious

In German culture they tend to save the best food for last...

...its known as “furstwurst”

How do you spot a cultured Redditor?

They grow blue cheese.

The most admirable quality of Greek and Roman culture:

their ability to give terms to scientific phenomenon centuries before they were discovered.

I hate people who pretend they're cultured when they talk about Mozart.

I bet they haven't seen any of his paintings.

My dad wanted to learn more about Korean culture.

K, pop.

In all of the possible universes where Spider-Man is of another culture or race, why can’t he be Australian?

Because if he got bitten by a spider in Australia he’d just die.

I know this is unpopular to say in this inclusive culture but there are some races I don't like

Especially the 800 m dash

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Comparing cultures

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures.
Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Pantheon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was t...

If anyone says you have to work 365 days in 2020 in order to succeed, they don’t have your best interests in mind and is preaching toxic hustle culture

You need to work 366 days cause it’s a leap year

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An American anthropologist is studying cultures throughout Western Africa.

He discovers an isolated civilization in the West African Jungle. It’s a small village with wooden houses and plenty of domesticated animals. The anthropologist is impressed by the organization of the village and becomes eager to learn more about the culture of it’s inhabitants.

He approa...

You know how Santa Claus is different in each culture?

In pirate culture he’s called shanty claus

My visit to Poland

I met a Polish friend of mine and told him I want to explore what Poland has to offer.
I asked about the beer culture.
“We have lots of beers, ales, ciders, lagers, you name it!”
“Great, what would you recommend?”
“Anything Czech…”
So instead we went out for lunch.
“...

Some bloke just told me I have no culture

Just because I can name more ninja turtles than renaissance artists.

Over a thousand years ago, there was a culture in Southeast Asia that worshipped parrots.

They were pollytheistic.

Did you know that cultures with arranged marriages typically serve melon at the wedding feast?

Yep. It symbolizes the fact that they cantelope.

I hate the PC culture we live in these days.

Can't a guy just use a Playstation without getting called a "peasant"?

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It's not surprising that the Japanese have adopted so much of American culture.

The first American product they tested blew everyone away.

Hawaii is a veritable island paradise for someone studying Spock's culture

It's a Vulcanology hot spot

(I land chains of jokes like this one, occasionally)

I have a joke and I don't know if it translates well in all cultures, so let me break it down into bits.

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Had a convo with my mom who doesn't know much about pop culture.

Mom: HEYY!!

Me: hey

Mom: I need a favor.

Me: WTF

Mom: what do you mean by WTF?

Me: What's The Favor

Have you ever heard of the remote petri culture?

They have different jeans then the rest.

I recently took a trip to learn more about Greek culture and to gain a greater appreciation of their amazing works of art and architecture.

The British museum is a really cool place.

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A group of teenagers were getting into a yo mama fight

And everyone was getting into it except the indian boy at the back.

When asked why he wouldn't participate
He replied: "I too would make fun of your mothers but in my culture disrespecting cows is frowned upon."

A brief history of Ancient Greek culture

Greece before Alexander the Great: Kinda nistic.

Greece after Alexander the Great: Hella nistic.

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A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.

He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me ...

C.S.Lewis once wrote an anthology on anime culture...

...The Chronicles of Nani-a.

Ezra, a devout Jew, sent his son to Israel to learn about the culture.

When Ezra's son came back, he told his father, "I had a great time in Israel. I even converted to Christianity!"

Ezra was so shocked that he decided to tell his next door neighbour, Levi, also a devout Jew.

"Funny you should mention this," said Levi. "I too sent my son to Israel and he...

Today's litigious culture is ridiculous. I was injured in a slip/trip/fall from a cardboard box.

I sued the box and won ÂŁ5000 in corrugations.

I cooked something so good a culture was built upon it.

However according to the EPA it was a biohazard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's interesting how mythology has permeated our culture. Just look at Oedipus...

he's the most famous motherfucker around.

My book on Nordic cultures is taking a long time to write

I don’t think I’ll ever make it to the Finnish.

In Chinese culture the great wall represents true longevity.

It's the only thing from China that lasts more than a few weeks.

I heard they want to subvert the culture of the mining industry by phasing out the word 'mine'

They want to call it an ore well.

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If someone obsessed over Japanese culture is a weeaboo...

Then is someone obsessed over French culture a ouiaboo?

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In many cultures, a penis transplant would be considered...

a dick move.

Been reading a fascinating memoir about Latino street culture.

It's a collection of esĂŠs.

Some people are sceptical of migrants because they think they don't embrace their new country's culture

But I teach calculus to international students at my local university, and they all integrate really well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are several distinct cultural differences between Australian and America. For example, Americans are really offended by the word cunt...

Conversely, Australians are really offended by schools being shot up.

TIL that in some cultures, you are not a man until your father calls you one

TIAL that I am a 38-year-old boy.

I love the expression 'As American as apple pie'

Because there isn't anything more American then copying other cultures and pretend its American

My Culture Brings all the Terrorists to the Yard...

and there like Allah Akhbar,
Damn right put a bomb in your car
i'd preach you but i have to Hajj

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