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Prince Charles decided to take up walking and everyday, at the same street corner, he would pass a hooker. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

“One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout. "No! Five pounds!" he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She'd yell "One hundred and fifty pounds!" He'd yell back "Five pounds!"

One day, Camilla decided t...

Why couldn’t Ray Charles see his friends?

He was married

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Charles de Gaulle's wife,...

Madame de Gaulle was said to have been lunching with the American ambassador at the time of her husband's retirement when she was asked what she was most looking forward to in the years ahead.

She thought for a moment before announcing boldly: "A penis". A startled hush fell over the table un...

What do you call a tennis match between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love.

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What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack ?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes

I heard that Prince Charles tested positive for Covid-19

Looks like he got coronated at last!

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What is James Charles favorite music genre?

Re-Gay

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IF YOU SEE A LINK TITLED “JAMES CHARLES NUDE”, DON’T CLICK ON IT.

#IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON PERMANENT CAPS LOCK.

What do you call two quadriplegics that are both named Charles?

A pair of numb Chucks.

Prince Charles is in isolation with Covid - 19

His brother Andrew is in isolation with Bethany - 14

Prince Charles diagnosed with Covid-19. Camilla has been cleared

Apparently horses can’t get the virus

What is the difference between a chimpanzee with a baby, Prince Charles, and a person with alopecia?

One is a hairy parent, one is an heir apparent, and the other has no hair apparent.

Charles visits his grandpa...

On the first morning of the visit, Charle’s grandpa prepares a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Charles notices a weird substance on his plate and asks, “Grandpa, are you sure these plates are clean?”

grandpa replies, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them, just eat your breakfast.”

...

Prince Charles is actually happy about getting COVID-19.

Now he doesn't have to worry if he will experience coronation.

Prince Charles contracts Corona Virus

All part of the coronation process

Prince Charles is Isolating at Balmoral

Prince's Charles is Isolating at Balmoral Castle with Covid-19

Prince Andrew is Isolating at Windsor with Jenny - 14

Prince Charles has been waiting 70 years

And now he got the wrong Corona

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Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini.

The bartender asks. “Olive or Twist?”

The tale of the blond horse back rider.

A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action.

As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror,...

Charles, Angus and Patrick are in a helicopter when the pilot informs them they are losing altitude.

Desperately, they throw out whatever they have on them. Charles throws out his teapot, Angus throws out his bagpipes and Patrick throws out a bomb. The helicopter recovers and they land safely.

When Charles gets home, he finds his father in the garden crying. When he asks him what happened, ...

James Charles, Justin Bieber, and bill gates were stranded on an island 100 miles away from shore and one by one they tried to swim off the island

First bill gates swam out 15 miles but then got tired and drowned. Next James Charles swam out 25 miles but got tired and drowned. Finally Justin Bieber swam out 50 miles and got tired and swam all the way back.

What do you get when you cross Prince Charles and the Queen?

Murdered in a tunnel in France.

Three woman are bragging about their sons.

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons.

“My Theodore,” said Dorothy, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Theodore. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I ...

No matter what you guys say, I’m not unsubscribing from James Charles

That entails having to subscribe to him in the first place

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At the conclusion of world war 2, the leaders of France and the United States had a dinner party.

During the pre-dinner small talk, president Truman's wife Bess asks Charles De Gaulle's wife Yvonne, "Now the war is over, what is your greatest wish?"

Yvonne thinks for a moment and responds, "All zat I want is a penis!"

Silence falls over the table. Then De Gaulle pipes up, "Non, ma ...

Angela Merkel arrives at the Passport Control at the Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris.

"Nationality ? " asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days."

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Charles, Angus and Patrick had just broken out of prison

Knowing that the police were hot on their tails, they dashed into the nearest building they could find; and old pub. Worried that the police would arrive at any second, they headed into the basement to hide. In the basement they found three large burlap sacks, which they hastily climbed into in an a...

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"Hello. I'd like a book by Dickens, please."



"Which one?"



"Charles."

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

TIL Charles XII once had an affair, about which Sabaton will be releasing a new single to celebrate the 20 years the band has been together

Its called Carolus' ex

The marriage of Charles and Diana was doomed from their wedding night....

...that's when Diana discovered that not all rulers are 12" long.

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In honor of Charles Dickens...

I am also going to be poor this Christmas

I feel bad for Ray Charles about the whole Stevie Wonder thing...

I mean another blind black piano player? There's no way he saw that coming.

We’ve all heard of Boyle’s Law and Charles’s Law, but have you ever heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly sliced cabbage.

Where did Prince Charles go on his honeymoon?

indiana

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Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.

That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me..!"

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge.

"Harde...

Stevie Wonder says the best advice he ever heard was from Ray Charles...

"The future's lookin' up."

It's weird to me that the shortened version of Charles is "Chuck".

I mean, what the Farles is that about?

Did you know NBC once considered a diet & fitness show based on people such as Air Force Amy, Mary Magdalene, Heidi Fleiss, Charles Ponzi, Berni Madoff, and Donald Trump?

The pilot was cancelled because they didn't want to weigh the pros and the cons.

Bishop Charles Ellis III has spoken of his embarrassment over groping Ariana Grande..

He says he felt a right tit.

I devised a test to see if people prefer Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder...

It's a double blind study.

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Prince Charles goes to Australia

On the last occasion that Prince Charles visited Australia, he attended a function at Wagga Wagga, where he was met by various dignitaries, including the Mayor of Wagga Wagga. Whilst having a cocktail, the Mayor said to the Prince “Your Highness, it’s quite a hot day and yet you have chosen an unusu...

Charles ran a successful fur business in early 20th century New York.

He was always humane about the treatment of his animals before they were killed and made sure the rest of the animal didn't go to waste. However, rather than making a massive profit, he'd often donate warm fur clothes to poorer children. He lived comfortably, but always tried to maintain his philant...

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Names are weird. How do you get Billie from William? How do you get Chuck from Charles? How do you get dick from Richard?

You ask nicely

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Did you know Prince Charles has a multi coloured penis?

He used to dip it in Di every night

Did you know Major Charles Sweeney of the B-29 Bockscar was dyslexic?

He meant to order the flaming saganaki, but instead ordered a flaming Nagasaki

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Everyone knows Charles Dickens as a famous author of great classics. Lesser known is his short-lived Apple Cider business. He had to close it after complaints of unexpected pregnancies.

It may seem strange, but what do you expect when you have Dickens Cider?

The Queen and Prince Charles

The Queen and Prince Charles are enjoying a cup of tea when there's suddenly a knock on the door. The Queen goes to open it and it's the Death standing on the other side.
So the Queen shouts loudly: "Hey Charles, it's for you."

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man" he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.

My Mother-In-Law asked how Charles Manson died, and I responded, "Complications with dementia". To which she replied...

"I thought he was demented his whole life. Why is he having complications with it now??"

What was the real reason Princess Di divorced Prince Charles?

She found out that not all rulers have 12 inches.

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Charles Dickens was at his publisher's office.

CD: "I'm going to be honest with you, Howard. It's almost complete and I have most of the elements of the story figured out. Great characters, a terrific setting, some good conflict and a theme. But something's missing, and I can't figure out what it is"

Howard: "The plot, Dickens?"

Did you hear what Charles Manson said after he was asked what he would do if he got out on parole at his hearing?

CM: "I don't know, settle down? Maybe start a family?"

Credit to my friend for this joke haha.

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So old man Charles is lying on his deathbed.

His great nephew Peter comes to see him, and Charles gets to talking about his life and rambling on, like old men do.

He points out the window and says "Pete, you see that road out there? I built that road myself before there was a town here. I cleared the forest, I leveled the land, I laid t...

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Charles XII of Sweden, Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar.

Charles XII of Sweden, Darius of Persia and Napoleon are sitting at a bar, watching a military parade on CNN.
Impressed by modern technology Charles XII says - "Man, if i had mechanised infratry like that I'd have kicked ass at the Poltava battle."

Darius replies - "And if i had artille...

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Prince Charles was visiting a nursing home

He asks a 93 year old lady "Have you been bed-ridden since you've been here?"
She replies "A couple of times, but i prefer to be fucked up the arse on the sofa"

What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin?

Evo-lotion.

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

Ray Charles...

... is driving and gets into a car accident... because he's blind. He wakes up in a hospital bed.

The doctor comes in and says, "Mr. Charles, I've got good news and bad news."

"What's the bad news?"

"Well, you've lost the use of your left side, due to the accident," says the d...

Have you ever seen the house Ray Charles lived in?

Neither did he.

What will people say when Prince Charles dies?

Long live the Queen.

[Punchline wanted] Charles Darwin, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. To their surprise, the bartender is a monkey.

Lamarck notes that the monkey's arms have become long from reaching for bottles on the high shelves. Darwin disagrees, saying that the monkey got the job because it was born with long arms. Jerry Lewis looks at the both of them, and says…

Sorry, SimLife couldn't get a needed punch line.
...

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I was reading the book "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens.

It wasn't as good as I hoped it would be.

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So Jeremy Corbyn went to see the Queen.

Jeremy Corbyn asked the Queen. "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient organisation? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well." Said the Queen. "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Jeremy Corbyn then asked. "But how do I know if the peo...

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Charles Dickens had writer's block…

He had a contract due for a new novel, but he hadn't even thought of a title yet. He went into the local pub and asked the barman for a Martini.

"Olive, or twist?"

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