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Paul Mccartney Jokes

What would Sir Paul McCartney sing to an octopus?

I wanna hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.

Paul McCartney celebrates his 80th birthday with Stella in Mykonos.

You would think with all his wealth, he would have bought at least ONE bottle of Champagne.

Why did Paul McCartney quit the Beatles?

He drank RedBull.

BREAKING - Paul McCartney disqualified from London Marathon

He was banned on the run.

You have to read this in Paul McCartney's voice

When I find my tweets are causing trouble

Mother Russia comforts me

Tweeting words of wisdom

Covfefe

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die?

Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground

(Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of aging Rockstars are hanging out and comparing who has received the most impressive gift…

They are in Roger Daltrey’s house and he is showing off an exquisite pinball machine.
“This Custom Tommy Pinball Machine was given to me by the Prime Minister of Sweden. He loved Tommy so much he had it specially made. The balls and all the metal fixtures are made of real Sterling Silver!”
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a big fan of the Beatles, in particular Paul McCartney.

I made an account on the official Beatles website and made my profile picture an album of Paul McCartney throughout the years. However an admin told me I was going to be banned, I asked why and was shown the list of rules and the first was "Users are not allowed multipaul accounts."

What is one of the longest living species of beetle?

Paul McCartney

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/14)

Folks, folks. What a day! There are some good jokes out there to be had. Let's take a gander, shall we?

There's already some news out of the presidential election front...

Some are reporting Gov. Christie is losing weight just so he can make a run in 2016. Not to be outdone, Sen. Rubio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A billionaire decides to build a palace

A billionaire decides to build a palace to bring the best musicians of the 60’s together in one place. After a year of hammering, sawing, and painting the palace is finally finished. It’s perfect – marble, chandeliers, and concert halls; dozens of swimming pools and tennis courts. Excited, the billi...
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