If saints go to heaven and sinners go to hell, where do suicide bombers go?

Everywhere.

Donate one kidney, they call you a hero. Donate two, they call you a saint.

But donate three or more, and suddenly you’re a “monster.”

Saint Peter and God are talking about today's teenagers

Saint Peter and God are talking about today's teenagers.

God says "Today all teenagers use drugs"

"You're right" replies Peter "I will now go on earth to see if really all teenagers use them"

After a bit Peter returns and tells God that the teens are coming. Few seconds later so...

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

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Three men have died and are at heaven's gate in front of Saint Peter

^((I only heard it in German, hope I translated it ok))

Saint Peter says "I'm sorry, we're a little short on space here, so we have a new policy. We only let people in who died in an interesting way." He then points to the first man and asks "so, how did you die?"

The first man starts,...

Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish...

The first nun said with a blush, "This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?"

Saint Peter said, "Your wish i...

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3 men get sent to heaven and they arrive at Saint Peter’s gate.

St. Peter tells them they can have all the golfing and fun they want but when golfing to NEVER hit a duck. One of the guys asks, “why is hitting a duck a problem?” Saint Peter replies, “If you hit a duck it will start quacking then another will start quacking, then all the ducks start quacking and e...

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My wife is a Saint!

My Neighbour: Lucky bastard, mine is still alive.

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Did you know it takes 3 miracles to be declared a Saint by the Catholic Church?

Did you know masturbating 15 times a day for 3 days strait does not constitute as a miracle? Did you also know they return the application and evidence in a package labeled Bio-hazard?

What do you get when it’s saint Patrick’s day, your cake day, and you’re Irish?

Absolutely nothing.

Patrick died and went to the gates of heaven

There he saw a man with a halo sitting behind a table waiting. As he approached the Saint looked up and Patrick saw two keys hanging around his neck on a chain, the keys to the pearly gates themselves. This must be St. Peter, Patrick thought.

''Hello Patrick. I just have to check through you...

Every year on St Patrick’s Day Saint Patrick comes down out of Heaven and goes to an Irish pub.

This past St Patrick’s day he goes to Murphy’s local pub. Murphy walked in a see St Patrick sitting in the corner of the pub with his big green bishops hat, his green robes and his staff and he asks the bartender “Hey, is that St Patrick sitting in the corner?”

And the bartender says “Well ye...

Jesus and Saint Peter come down to earth to see how things are going.

After traveling all day through the universe they arrive after dark near an old farmhouse.

Not wanting to freak out the farmer, they decide to sleep in the barn.

Jesus says to Peter, ”I am going to sleep upstairs in the hayloft and you stay down here. And when you are comfortable, si...

John passed away, when he woke up, he was at the feet of Saint Peter -

\- with millions of clocks around the room.

Confused, he stood up and asked, "What are the clocks for?"

Saint Peter said to him, "These are the clocks of everyone in the world, they only move when someone lies."

So John goes to one and says, "Why has this one only moved twic...

Heaven was becoming overcrowded to the point where Saint Peter asked if he could only let people in who had a really bad day before he died.

Once God approved, Peter went back to the pearly gates and saw a line. Excited about the new order he went to the first person and said, “tell me about the day you died.”

The first person said, “it was horrible, I could have sworn my wife was cheating on me so I came home from work early to c...

Who is the patron saint of homeless dogs and cats?

St. Ray

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It was getting crowded in Heaven one day, so Saint Peter decided for one day to only accept people who could make him laugh.

A man came walking up to the pearly gates and Saint Peter said to him:

“Alright bud, you’re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why don’t you tell me about how you died”

The man looked at Saint Peter and said

“Oh man it was awful, I was absolutely SURE my wife wa...

Sir Galahad lost his horse during a battle. He trudged towards a farmhouse and banged on the door. When farmer John answered, Galahad asked: "Do you have a horse I could borrow?" John shook his head. "But tell you what, I have a massive Saint Bernard." Reluctantly, Galahad mounted the mutt.

Seeing his predicament, John's wife Mary exclaimed: "You can't let a Knight out on a dog like this!"

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

Bill Clinton died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.He asked, ‟What are all those clocks?”

Saint Peter answered, ‟Those are Lie-Clocks.Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

”Oh,‟ said Bill,...

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A drunken Dick came home and fell dead asleep next to his wife

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where Saint Peter said, "You died in your sleep Dick."

Dick was stunned. "I'm dead? No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!

"Saint Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Di...

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An old fisherman suspected his wife of cheating, so he hired a private investigator...

This is a long one, so bear with me.

The fisherman and his wife lived in Saint John’s, Newfoundland and he made his living by going out into the ocean to net cod under the watchful eye of his captain.

In those days, the best fishing was to be found far out on the banks very far from...

Three little old nuns are attending a church service in Rome when, in a freak accident, a giant crucifix falls from the old plaster wall and kills them.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates Saint Peter says, "I'm SO sorry, Sisters, that was a freak accident and wasn't supposed to happen.

"Unfortunately, your Earthy bodies were too horribly mangled for us to just send your souls back, but we *do* have a protocol for cases like yours.

"W...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Pe...

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A school bus full of Catholic girls drives off a cliff and they all die.

A bus filled with 18 year old sheltered Catholic school girls drove off a cliff and they all died. So they all form a single file line in front of the gates of heaven and saint Peter says to the first girl "have you ever touched a man's penis?" And the girl says "yes but just with the tip of my fing...

Why dont saint nick and mrs clause have any kids?

Cause Santa only comes once a year and its down a chimney.

What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland?

“Everyone got seat belts on back there?”

Am I the only one dying our kids’ food green this Saint Patrick’s Day...

...to acclimate them to eating expired foods a month from now in quarantine?

Three women at the gates of heaven

3 women die in a car accident. They get to the gates of heaven and Saint Peter is standing there. He says "to get into heaven, you just cross a an area of land without stepping on any turtles." (the entire area is FILLED with turtles).

The first woman takes a turn but she accidentally steps ...

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Boris Johnson dies...

His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem: We seldom see a Conservative here and we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Johnso...

Saint Peter decides to take a day off work, and Jesus takes his place

Saint Peter decides to take a day off work, and Jesus takes his place. St. Peter explains that he should ask any person who comes to the gates a little about themselves before they enter. Then you decide whether or not they should be allowed into heaven.

It's a slow day, but most people are a...

On Saint Patrick's Day, an Irishman who had a little to much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over. "So," said the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few i...

One day Saint Peter got bored

He decided to begin asking people how they died. A man comes up so saint Peter asked how he died. The man said "I was sure my wife was cheating on me so I came home early from work one day. When I arrived at our apartment I saw my wife in bed and no one with her. I looked everywhere but I could not ...

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A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

Saint McDonald’s church of the holy

They have some of the best fryers is the world

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven.

He suffers a massive heart attack in his office and dies on the spot. He arrives (to his great surprise) at the gates of heaven.

A huge welcoming party is there waiting for him. Large welcome home banners are displayed and it looks like a proper affair indeed. Some of heaven’s most famous in...

Who is the patron saint of security cameras?

St Francis of a CCTV

My gf has the face of a saint

It’s a pity it’s St Bernard

Building contractor

This building contractor dies in a tragic accident on his 40th birthday.

He ends up heaven where he's greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band and Saint Peter.

Saint Peter shakes the guys hand and says congratulations!

The contractor is a little confused and says congratulati...

Molly had one goal, to become a Saint.

She wanted to be holy Moly.

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Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to hell.

When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!

The Virgin Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"

"Yes," fum...

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Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street.

Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the b...

Why did saint peter call a podiatrist?

Because something was wrong with heavens gait

Three men approach the gates of heaven

Three men approach the gate of heaven and meet Saint Peter who tells them that heaven is getting full and only those with the most awful deaths will be allowed in that day.
The first man steps up and says picture this...My boss let me go home early so I rushed home to my 22nd apartment floor buil...

Priest, Doctor and Lawyer died

A priest, doctor and lawyer died. They met Saint Peter at the gate, who would only let them into heaven if they could answer one simple question.

Peter asked the priest, "what was the unsinkable ship that struck an iceberg?" The priest replied, "The Titanic". And the gates opened up.
...

A witch, a saint and a shaman all walk into a tavern...

The Witch says, "I get my powers from mixing brews and consorting with demons!"

The Shaman says, "What a coincidence! I get my power by communing with the spirits of the land."

The Saint laughs, "You are all heretics!" and burned the two at the stake in the name of his god.

Bill Gates dies and reaches the Pearly Gates....[Long]

Meets Saint Peter at the gates and he tells Bill, “because you brought computers, technology and helped humanity, we have decided to let you tour hell and after the tour, you get to decide if you want to stay there, or come into heaven”

“I get to choose?” Asked Bill

“Yes... But just re...

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and ent...

A man enters the gates of Heaven...

And sees a wall of large clocks. He goes up to Saint Peter and asks, “Saint Peter, what are these clocks for?”

Saint Peter replies to the man, “These are the Lie Clocks. Every person has one, and every time you told a lie, it ticked once. Here... this is Abe Lincoln’s clock. It ticked four t...

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A group of nuns are on the way to the beach when the bus they're in veers off the road and burns to smithereens.

They all wake up to see they are at the pearly gates of heaven with Saint Paul standing in front of them.

St. Paul goes the first nun and says, "sister have you ever had any contact with a penis? "

"Yes father, I once touched a penis with my finger. "

St. Paul says, "Please di...

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Three ministers and their wives were riding in a van to a conference...

when the driver took a curve too fast, sending the vehicle off the road and over a cliff. All six perished, and found themselves in line at the gates of heaven. Saint Peter called the first couple forward, examined his book, then looked sadly at the minister.

“I’m sorry to say that I can’t l...

Saint Peter is seeing all of the new arrivals trying to go through the pearly gates in Heaven.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.

"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.

Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.I knew she was into so...

Three nuns die and arrive at the pearly gates

Saint Peter is there, the gates are closed, and he says to the first nun, "To enter Heaven, you must first answer a question: What was the name of the first man?" She says, "Why, that would be Adam". Ding-ding-ding-ding, the gate opens and she goes in. Saint Peter turns to the second nun and asks, "...

A pastor and and an airline pilot meet St Nick at the Gates to Heaven. The airline pilot is first to approach the saint

Peter: Name and profession please

Pilot: John Williams, Ryanair pilot.

Peter: *riffles through a massive book* John Williams...John Williams... umm... ah yes!

Peter: clicks his fingers and a beautiful silk robe and ornate golden staff appear out of thin air.

Peter: please...

Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are shot during a conference and die...

Up in the sky, they are greeted by Saint Peter who says: ‚You have died. As you are politicians, surely you have sinned. Therefore you must wade through the Swamp of Lies before you can go to Heaven and join Him in eternal happiness.‘

As in her former life, Merkel wants to tackle every challe...

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A man had a penis size of 25 inches.

He wanted to reduce the size of his penis so he went to a saint to tell him about his problem. The saint told him that there is a big turtle on a beach, if he tells you "no" then your penis' size would decrease by 5 inches.

So that man found the turtle and asked him, "Will you marry me ?" The...

If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a...

Saint Bernard.

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.

While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the
Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting around were her parents
and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello! How are you! We'v...

A monk dies and arrives at the pearly gates...

Allowed to enter, he notices a book prominently displayed behind Saint Peter. The monk asked what the book was. Saint Peter replied, "That's the bible as it was *supposed* to be written. The bible on Earth is close, but there are a few minor differences between the two."

"I was a biblical scr...

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Another dumb joke my dad told me, it's probably old af but I find it funny so here it is

A man dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven, Saint Peter is waiting for him. The man is shocked, as he had never believed in God.
He says to Saint Peter "Listen dude, I've made a terrible mistake by not believing in God. But ya see, I've been a real good person and have supported many r...

Three men go to heaven and meet Saint Peter.

They were each greeted warmly and told to answer all questions truthfully. St. Peter asks the first man: "You were married, but were you faithful? Remember, I will know if you are lying."

"Absolutely, I never cheated once in my life." claimed the man, pride gleaming in his eyes.

"Very...

I translated this one from slovak hopefully it still works. I love the joke.

Three men die and Saint Peter asks them how they died.

First one starts: I came home to my apartment and I heard noises. There must have been a robber. I didn't find anyone, but as I looked from the window, I saw him, escaping on the side of the building using ropes, so I cut them and he fall...

A priest dies and goes to heaven....

He greets Saint Peter at the pearly gates and Saint Peter gives him a cotton robe and a wooden staff.

As he walks through he sees a cab driver and stops for a second. And Saint Peter gives the cabbie a gold staff and a gold robe.

The priest goes to saint peter and says "why does he ge...

A man dies and goes to heaven

A man dies and goes to heaven.

While entering the golden gates, he sees Saint Peter, surrounded by ticking clocks.

The man asks ¨what are those clocks for?¨

Saint Peter replies ¨These are lie clocks, and every time a person tells a lie, they tick. For example Mother Theresa gav...

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A burglar invades a house in the middle of the night

While he is slowly moving through the empty and dark house, he hears a strange voice voice coming from the darkness beyond, that said:

"Jesus is watching you!"

Surprised, the burglar points his flashlight at the direction of the sound, only to discover that the sound was made by a parr...

Keanu Reeves is celebrated as a saint for his hover hands. When I met him he kept cupping my balls!

Best golf partner I ever had.

A man dies and goes to gates of Saint Peter

Once up there he sees thousands upon thousands of clocks behind Saint Peter. He asks him

"What are all those clocks for?"

"Well, every person gets a clock as soon as they're born, and every time they tell lie the handles move forward one minute. You see here this is the clock of Abraha...

Jesus and Saint Peter are playing golf...

...and a group has been trying to play through for the last few holes.

Jesus and Saint Peter come up to a hole with a water hazard right through the middle of the fairway. Saint Peter is up first, and says, "I'm going to play this just like Arnold Palmer, and hit it right up to the water's ed...

Who is the patron saint of Pizza and Bread?

Jesus Crust

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Three men find themselves in front of Saint Peter after suddenly dying.

Confused, Peter says, "What happened? You're all here *way* before your time!"

The first man says, "I was driving to work when I got this feeling that my wife was cheating on me, so I turned around and rushed back to my apartment. I ran into my bedroom to find my wife lying naked under the co...

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Three men arrive in Heaven at the same time.

As they approach the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter appears before them.

"The rules are simple: to get into Heaven, first you have to tell me how you die. If I'm satisfied with your story, you can come in."

The first man steps forward.

"Imagine this. You come home to your sixth-floo...

A mean, yet wealthy women's husband dies...

She goes to the preacher in the town and tells him, "I want you to preach my husband's funeral. I also want you to call him a saint."
The preacher shakes his head slightly and says, "ma'am, I cant do that. He wasn't known as a good man around these parts..."
"I will give a check right now for ...

Young Jesus comes running into Saint Joseph’s carpenter shop...

“Daddy, did you call me?”

“Ah no, son, I just hit my thumb with a hammer.”

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Reincarnation - My favorite joke of all time.

Dave comes home from the pub, drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of t...

A married man dies and goes to heaven

When he arrives at the pearly gates, he's greeted by Saint Peter who explains the rules. "Heaven is a very big place so everyone who enters is assigned a vehicle", he says. "The status of your vehicle corresponds with how faithful you were in your marriage." Since our hero only cheated on his wife o...

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A Baptist preacher, a Methodist preacher, and a Presbyterian preacher lived in the same small town.

The three were of similar age, and over the years, they and their wives became friends. All three retired within a few months of each other, and decided to rent an RV to drive across the country. Only a few days into the trip, they were in a horrible accident that killed all six of them.

The...

Today we honor a patron saint by drinking ourselves into a blithering, unintelligible stupor.

Or as the Irish call it...breakfast.

3 Men die and go to Heaven.... And there are ducks everywhere

Saint Peter's there like "one rule: don't step on any ducks"

The first man steps on one duck and Saint Peter's brings an ugly girl. "For stepping on a duck, you will be chained to this ugly girl for eternity!!!"

The second man doesn't step on a duck for 3 days but once he does Saint Pe...

Saint Peter has a day off...

... so Jesus takes his place. A man arrives at the Pearly Gates.

Jesus: Hello. Name?
Man: Joseph.
Jesus: What did you do for a living?
Man: Well...I was a carpenter.
Jesus: Have you made any good to humanity?
Man: Oh yes. I raised a child that revolutionized the world.

A...

Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution

A man is driving down the road when he sees a sign that says, "Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution - 3 miles." He is intrigued.

A short time later, he sees another sign that says, "Sisters of Saint Mary's House of Prostitution - 1 mile." He slows down a little to give himself a litt...

A catholic priest was praying Saint Anne.

The devil appears: ”Whazzzzup homie, why you pronounce my name so funny?”

A Russian couple was walking down the streets of Saint Petersburg on Christmas Eve

And they felt a slight precipitation on their heads.

"I think its raining" says the man

"No its snowing" says the woman

"How about we ask this communist officer here? He is always right!" The man exclaims. "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"Definitely raining"...

A man is speaking with Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven.

Saint Peter asks him if he has done any good deeds in his time on Earth to merit entry into paradise.

Thinking for a moment, he says, "I was once in a bar in Arizona. I noticed a beautiful woman sitting alone, but before I could introduce myself a bunch of Hell's Angels stormed in and starte...

What did Doug Pederson tell the Eagles about the tough matchup with the Saints?

Don’t expect tomorrow to be a breeze.

How do you make somone a saint?

You beat the hell out of them

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

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A man arrives in heaven...

A man arrives in heaven and St. Peter asks him how he died.

"I came home from work early," the man says, "because I suspected my wife was having an affair."

"Sure enough, there she was in bed naked, obviously caught in the act. She was alone, but I knew her lover had to be close by. T...

Go to the animal shelter for a dog and you're a saint

Go to the woman's shelter for a new girlfriend d and everyone looses their minds

There was a pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers

He was a man who led with gentleness, faith, and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire world.

As the pope approached the Gates of heaven, St Peter greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome, Your Holiness. Your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during your life has...

Three Nuns and Saint Peter

Three little nuns were tragically killed in a car crash this past weekend. Being devout followers of the faith, their souls floated up to heaven.

The three see the Pearly Gates and begin to approach the massive structure only to be stopped by Saint Peter.

Saint Peter explains, "The Bos...

John dies and he meets Saint Peter.

Saint Peter: "You were indeed a good man. Come, I will walk you to Heaven."

They started walking through a long hall. On the walls, there were lots and lots of watches. Curious, the man asks:

John: "What's the deal with all these watches?"

Saint Peter: "You see, these are called...

What does Saint Patrick and the IRA have in common?

Both if them did a great job of driving vermin out if Ireland.

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Saint Peter Decides That Heaven Is Getting Too Full

Upon deciding this Saint Peter decides that only people who have had a really bad day on the day they died will be allowed in.

The first guy comes in and SP says "Sit down and tell me about your day." To which the guy responds "Today was the shittiest of my life. I came home early because I w...

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Three blondes are in front of the Heavenly Gate...

Each of the blondes lives a sinful and depraved life of sex and drugs. Yet, after their deaths they find themselves before Saint Peter. Peter looks at these three girls and shakes his head.

Then after a moment he speaks, "O.K girls. The Lord as decided to be merciful and give you another cha...

A Muslim goes to Heaven and meets Saint Peter at the Gate.

He looks at Peter and says "This has to be a mistake. I demand to see prophet Mohamed right now!"
Saint Peter says "Calm down. Would you like a coffee or a cappuccino or something to drink?"
The Muslim says "No, thanks. But I don't think I'm supposed to be here."
Peter responds "Alrig...

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven,

where Saint Peter gives him a nice, modern six-bedroom house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill quickly settles into the afterlife.

One day he is out walking when he bumps into a man wearing a fine tailored suit.

"That's really nice," says Bill. "Where ...

Easter Joke

So three brothers die together, on Easter Sunday. All three then arrive at the pearly gates and meet Saint Peter.

"Well, none of you have been that good. But none of you have been that bad either," Saint Peter says, looking over the story and deeds of their lives. "I'll tell you what. Seeing...

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