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Pair Of Pliers Jokes

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What happens when you try to pull out a tooth using the "string and doorknob trick" or a pair of pliers?

You get fired from your job as a dentist.

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.



"Eighty dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says.
"Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the de...

What do you call two Filipino pilots?

A pair of pliers

Three men sat around a table in a bar and talked about their wives.

The first man says, "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician. When I got home last night I found a pair of pliers and some insulating tape behind the radiator in the bedroom - we've not had any work done on the house, and I can't think of any other way they could have got there".
...

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NSFW - Long - A man takes a trip to a bar in Florida

While drinking, the Bartender tells the man that they have a local challenge, which no one has ever actually successfully completed. However, the prize is free liquor from that bar for the rest of the man's life. The man, never one to back down, decides to bite, and asks the Bartender about the chal...

Two English men and an Irish man are in a bar.

The first English man says "I think my wife is cheating on me with an electrician, I found a pair of pliers under our bed."

The second English man says "My wife is cheating on me with a plumber, I found a pipe under our bed."

The Irish man looks at both English men and says "Well my wi...

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2 of Them

A bloke is pottering about in his garage,changing his fan belt on his car,when little Johnny from next door walks in and say's "do ya mind if I watch ya Mr?"

"No not at all" replies the bloke and gets a spanner from his toolbox.

Little Johnny say's "My dad's got 2 of them ya know!"
...

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So a man walks into a bar...

He orders a beer, the bartender charges him $3.50, takes the $3 and puts it in the register, and puts the $0.50 in a large jar on the counter.

The guy finishes his beer and orders another. Again, he pays $3.50, $3 goes in the register, and the change into the jar.

Now it's a friday nig...

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The Watchmaker

The Boy was due to meet his friends down the third alley from the green sign. The bar at the end of that alley, they had said, was a place where spirits and souls mixed together with the languid flow of warm summer air.

But The Boy had started drinking when the sun was still ascending, and n...

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Voodoo Dick.

A man was going to go off on a business trip for two weeks. Not wanting to leave his wife wanting, he decided to get something to keep her "satisfied".

He spotted an adult store and decided to check it out. Walking around the store, he saw all sorts of toys and gadgets of pleasure. Dildos ...

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