UPJOKE
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What is the plural of octopus?

Octoplus

What's the plural of neckbeard?

There isn't one. They're all singular.

English grammar

The plural of Karen is HOA.

What is the plural of an "Aux Cord"

Auxen Cord

When is "us" singular and 'i' plural?

When you're Roman.

Q: What's the plural for "backstab"?

A: The Roman Senate

What is the plural form of rice

Answer: Extra rice

If the plural or mouse is mice, and the plural of louse is lice...

What does it really mean if my spouse wants to spice things up?

The plural of Tooth is Teeth, Foot is Feet, Goose is Geese, then Moose is...

Meese?

Just following up on that Gallagher joke.

What's the plural of days? (wholesome)

daisies



:)

What’s the plural of bacon?

Heart disease

What is the plural name for a Calzone?

Calztwo.

What’s the proper plural of beer?





Sixpack.

my boss thinks I'm an idiot

But he's the idiot. just the other day he told me to go into the front office and to bring him the tube oxes that had just arrived. I wasn't sure what a tube ox was, but I informed him that the plural would be "tube oxen." Worse, all I found was a couple of FedEx packages..

What's really helpful until pluralized?

Aid.

Lets face it English is a stupid language There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God: Gabriel, have you finished setting up future events for the 2020s?

Gabriel: Yes, God, I have - wait, did you say 2020s plural? As in the decade?

God: Of course, what else?

Gabriel: I thought you meant 2020 the year.

God: You put a decade worth of history in one year?

Gabriel: Yes

God: Well, shit.

Why are Nordic languages so hard to understand?

English: A dog.

Swedish: What?

English: The dog.

English: Two dogs.

Swedish: Okay. We have: En hund, hunden, Två hundar, hundarna.

German: Wait, I wan’t to try it too!

English: No, go away.

Swedish: No one invited you.

German: Der Hund.

...

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English fo...

Stairs! Bet you can’t fall down just one.

Because then it wouldn’t be plural.

A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"

"Horses"

"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"

"You're thinking of elk"

"Holy mooses, you're right"

It remains a puzzle . . .

It remains a puzzle why a bra is singular and panties are plural.

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.


Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.


Me: I want 2 die.


Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.


Me: I want 2 die alone.

My name is Alex.

My mom was going to name me 'Alec,' but she knew I was going to be fat.


So she decided to make my name plural.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

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