This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To the people that have 5 different toilets:

Get your shit together.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the different between a rooster and my ex girlfriend?

A rooster goes cockadoodledoo.

My ex goes anycock'lldo.

Good news! I am about to publish a Reddit Jokes Book with all the different jokes ever posted on this page!

I'm just waiting for the first publisher to agree on publishing a book with only 4 pages.

Did you know that every zodiac sign has different hair?

Well, besides cancer.

They’re 3 different kinds of people in this world

Those that can count, and those that can’t.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to Spain a couple of years ago for 10 days and had sex with 10 different people

I had a good hole-a-day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at varying levels.

The monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Basically, you'll never see the same doctor in two different places at the same time.

That would be a pair'o'docs

Though they couldn’t be more different, explorers and couch potatoes have one thing in common.

They’re both looking for the remote.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend asked me if sex was any different after my vasectomy.

I said, “I don’t notice a vas deferens.”

I’m thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

What do you call a Dent that looks better from a different angle?

Harvey





\*My first 100% original dad joke. I am proud of me\*

When I was a kid I had a penpal who lived in southeast Asia who worked in an athletic clothes sweatshop. I would send him gifts from America and he would send me different clothes he made at work. His name was Chen, but I called him Bean Burrito.

Because he made me puma pants.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 farmers were talking about how they have sex with their sheep. The first one said “I put it’s back legs down my wellies so it can’t run off”. The second said “I put its back legs down my wellies and it’s front legs over a wall, gives a different position”

The third says “I put its back legs down my wellies, with it facing me and put its front legs over my shoulders”
“Why do you do that” asked the others, “well, I don’t want to miss out on the kissing”

Edit - Wellies = Wellington Boots = Gum Boots = Rubber Boots

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Joe had these headaches...

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to rem...

my public pool's showers has two different soap dispensers one is white and the other soap is transparent

i asked my life guard about the difference between them

he said that the white one is shampoo for hair

and the transparent is for the body.

me being bald i asked him: so i use one soap?

he was silent for a second while he looked at my body me wearing only my swimming shor...

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