This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Files in a pint

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each man’s freshly poured pint.

The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up...

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat do...

Why do Star Wars Jedi absolutely hate having to open PDF files ?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Hackers took over our system and won't give us back access to our files until we tell them how good looking they are.

It's a handsomeware attack.

A stationery store was broken into. Box files, wall calendars and appointment diaries were stolen.

Police suspect highly organised crime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My vodka Christmas cake recipe

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4...

What do Hogwarts students use to read PDF files?

They use Adobby

How does Lady Gaga unzip files on windows?

RAR, RAR-ah-ah-ah.

Could you imagine if trump actually moved the files from govt servers to a private server?

That would be Hillaryous.

Edit: My first reddit silver! Thank you kindly!

Edit2: reddit gold?! You all are too good to me!

I recently created a database for every living person assigned female at birth.

I call it the X-Files.

Time files when you're having fun

Meanwhile one frog to another, "Times fun when you're having flies"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute's tax files....

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

"Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." Says the accountant.

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,"What's your occupation?" "I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accou...

Why aren't MS Word files allowed here?

Rule 4: No docx-ing

How do you call the actor in the male leading role from the X-files if he commits a murder?

a Mulderer .

Gillian Anderson of the x files just lost custody of her 12 year old boy following a long legal battle.

She is now Gillian Withouterson.

During his presidency, there were some files that even Obama couldn’t touch.

The \*For Biden\* files.

My New OS

So I programmed an new Operating System.

I named it as a "Tetra-Hedral Artificial Neural Operating System."



Unfortunately, ThanOS took over my computer and wiped out half my files.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

I just found out about these things called "mods" that can alter game files.

They're absolutely game changing.

Bosnian X-Files

In Sarajevo hospital, at intensive care unit, a patient would die every single Friday at exactly 11 PM, in the very same bed, no matter what their medical condition may have been.

Doctors became extremely worried because they couldn't determine causes of their deaths.

Time passed on a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does a dyslexic porn addict keep his files?

On his hard diks.

A French computer scientist has come up with a quick way of transferring files electronically.

It’s called a Pierre to Pierre network.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men die and go to Heaven

3 men die and go to Heaven. St Peter meets them and starts reviewing their files.

He starts talking to the first guy: “I see that you lived a good life, but you cheated on your wife 30 times. That’s not very good, but not bad enough to send you to hell. So you can stay in heaven, but you’ll h...

if you added the letters S and E to the X files

it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol

The police recently arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave eternal youth.

When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this same criminal medical fraud.He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983..

How to audio files say hi to one another?

They just .wav

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

How do Frenchmen share files?

Pierre to Pierre.

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders

1. Go to your Desktop and make a new folder named Internet Explorer
2. Change the folder's icon to Internet Explorer
3. Keep it in your favorite corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer!

How do clowns store files?

They store them on a flash drive with 32 gigglebytes of space.

What do you call it when two Frenchmen share files?

Pierre-to-Pierre transfer.

Sitting down at my work desk, all my files are gone...

... and I'm asking myself : Who let the .docx out?

Husband files for divorce. In the court, judge asks why, he says - she doesn't satisfy me.

The wife replies - the entire neighborhood is satisfied, he is the only one always complaining.

If you add S to EX files...

You get EX-S files. Get it? Excess files haha

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.