This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

An old man, a schoolboy, a lawyer, a doctor, and a community service worker are all on a plane with only four parachutes when...

The pilot of the plane has a stroke and passes away. As the plane plummets its passengers to death the five members of the aircraft argue over who deserve to have the four bags containing the parachutes.

Social Worker: I deserve to live because I protect vulnerable children and support famili...

What do you call a summer program that aims to assist the Jewish community by helping their children overcome the difficulties of ADHD?

Seriously, because my first idea was a huge flop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An uneducated man decides to give college a second chance. He walks up to the Dean of his local community college and says, "I want to learn something new, I haven't learned much and I want to learn more,". "Great, which class would you like to take?" said the Dean.

"Which classes do you offer?" responded the man.

"We have all sorts of classes, from science to logic," said the Dean.

"What's logic?" asked the man.

"Well, I can use information to assume something." Said the Dean.

"How?" asked the Man.

"Take this scenario, d...

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace an older doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his house-call rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fre...

Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charges dropped...

I hope he isnt beating himself up over this

I am a member of an online community which appreciates & discusses the programming language C.

We call ourselves the 'C-Men'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I knew a lady whose idea of community service was giving handjobs to blue collar workers.

She was a jack off all trades.

Do you think Amy Schumer knows about this community?

Her career could skyrocket if she discovered us.

Mark donated 100 chairs to the community center.

It was a very charitable act.

There's been a recent surge in the number of male crossdressers in the Amish community.

Be careful. Women you might see during the day, may actually be mennonite.

Last night I visited a fetishist community website for the first time

Why are there so many dudes called Dom?

Overheard at the Community Swimming Pool

Lifeguard: Kowalski, you are officially banned from the pool.

Kowalski: Why is that?

Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool.

Kowalski: But I'm not the only one.

Lifeguard: You are the only one who does it from the diving board.

The lines in the LGBT community flag are straight.

Ironic.

What are the LGBTQ community's favorite electronic components?

Transistors

Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is completely normal.

And I would never make a joke about such a straight thing.

There's one problem about the LGBTQ community

None of them can think straight

There’s a small community trying to save our world and reduce global warming

Anti-vaxxers

What do you call drama in the LGBT community?

LGBTea

I am the biggest supporter of the LGBTQ community you'll ever find

Let's go buy tacos & quesadillas anytime!

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

I've just walked past our local community centre and I could clearly hear these board-game enthusiasts...

...all stood in the porchway bragging endlessly about their various tournament accomplishments.

You might think that sounds like it would have been pretty annoying for me, but infact...





I rather like the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Our local priest is very popular amongst the community but there are rumours that he's a paedophile.

That's a minor issue.

A man came to my door today asking for donations for the local community pool,

So I gave him a glass of water.

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Fonzy so popular in the LGBTQ community?

because he’s AYYYY sexual

A Christian priest, a Muslim priest and a rabbi are asked what method they use to give money with God and the community.

The Christain priest goes first. He draws a circle and throws all the money into the air. "Whatever falls into the inner part of the circle is mine, whatever falls on the outer side of the circle is God's and the communities.

The Muslim priest goes second. He draws a straight line and throws ...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

How did the medical community settle on the name for PMS?

Mad cow disease was already taken!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lgbt+ community should thank me!

Because I made all people i‘m dating gay......

I’ve been issued Community Service..

I was assigned the “Recycling Program”. I figured I’d start here since there’s a lot of reused content which would reduce my searching.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a sex shop that opened up across the highway from a 55+ aged swinger community

I wonder if it's because the orgies were getting old.

My name for a the reptilian shaped microscopic creature really blew up the scientific community.

It was dinomite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest decides to do some community work.

After considering where he should travel to do this work, he decides to travel to the Nigerian desert and assist the farmers working there.

After several weeks providing physical labour to the farmers he asks if there is a more effective way to help them. The farmer replied to him "Father, it...

Did you here about the train conductor who robbed his community's 7/11?

Police are saying he had a local-motive

Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders?

Because you're never totally sure what values they hold.

Did you hear the one about the LGBTQ2S+ community?

They're working together to build the perfect password

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I'm terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?

Me: *SCREAMS*

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

So my Irish friend decided to tell his community he's an atheist...

One man in the crowd then yelled "Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"

(Wow this exploded. Front... *wow*. Gotta say, I like the (current) top comment's version more.)

In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother and I start talking about Florida, and why they have such a crazy community

I explain to him why.

Me: Psychologically speaking, when you talk with your hands, especially your palms, people tend to be more friendly

I show him my hand

Me: Michigan is shaped like a mitten, easily one can show someone on their hand where they’re going, making Michigan ...

Whats the difference between an arrow and the LGBT+ community?

An arrow actually has a point.

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

Reddit is really a green community,

considering all the recycled content on here.

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

I tried starting an anarchist community

But no one would follow the rules

What do you call a community of fortune tellers who work for free?

A non-prophet organization

A cannibal shows up late to a community dinner.

Everyone else is annoyed, so they give him the cold shoulder.

Starbucks makes a drastic move to their menu to improve community relations

Patrons may no longer order black coffee.

What would you need to create if you wanted to attract and dominate over an entire community of BDSM enthusiasts?

A Subreddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yet another day at the retirement community.

George and Helen had been flirting with each other for weeks and finally found themselves at a point where intimate relations were mere moments away.

Helen, trusting in the moment, whispers to George, "Be gentle, I have acute angina."

George, a bit hearing impaired, replies, "Thank God...

What do you call a community with a lot of Bars?

A Prison.

What is a rare material in the bee community?

Hiveory

Why isn’t Matzah popular outside the Jewish community?

Because it’s never been on the rise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the LGBT community's favorite sex position?

Sixty-*Nouns*

The EA community team has now provided a feeling of pride and accomplishment to about 520,000 gamers...

By allowing us to Downvote them into Reddit hall of shame

A ventriloquist was doing his gig at a nightclub...

A blonde stands up and begins to protest. She says,"Hey knock it off with the dumb blonde jokes.We're not all that stupid I'll have you know. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work,in the community, and from reach...

At the community swimming pool I met a fellow swimming that had no arms or legs.

I said, " Excuse me sir, but I think it's amazing what you're doing there! Do you mind telling me how you lost all your limbs?"

He said, "Oh, I lost them in the war. I was a Sergeant and I jumped on an IED to save my squad. My body armor saved my life but it didn't cover everything."
...

When it comes to my favorite members of the religious community

Priests are second to nun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe is a fairly respected member of the community

He has always follow the rules and did the right thing. Wanting to expand his horizons he decided to experience a little bit of the seedier aspects of life. He had settled on finding himself a prostitute. As he was walking down a dimmly lit street, a hushed voiced whispered to him, "twenty bucks a...

Ever since I got my left leg amputated, every girl has been avoiding me.

I got into a car accident a few years back and had my left leg amputated. Getting used to balancing myself on 1 leg and crutches took a lot of time. I felt that without my precious left leg, i would never be the same.

My confidence dropped severely, and the passion i had for all the things i ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The company Valve is just like a child. It came into the world on the 24th August, 1996. Nurtured by a community...

...only to get fucked as soon as it turns 21.

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his ...

what kind of humour cannot be found in the black community

dad jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked into my local community center.

I was visiting a local community center because I was interested in learning a new hobby.


On my way to the office, I passed a group of guys in a beat boxing class.


I walked in and decided to try and fit in with my beatboxing skills, "bootssskts bootsskts uhh uhh my name is Chri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way...

Did you hear about the teen suicide figures throughout the Muslim community?

It's exploded in the past few years

Yesterday a couple of people came to my home and asked if I'd like to donate to the community pool…

I said "sure, wait here." A minute later I came back from the sink with some water and said, "just return the glass when you get a chance"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pleading to the r/jokes community. Can we please stop all the "this is an old joke" comments?

I mean, every joke that makes it to the front page has the obligatory "this is an old joke", "I've heard this before" comment. Unless the OP literally made the joke up themselves, then *every* joke on here has been heard before. My internal response to those comments is always "NO SHIT."

Ye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Plane Crash

Three men survive a plane crash in the snowy mountains. There is no way to escape. Their only hope is to survive until rescue arrives.

After a few weeks they come to the realization without food they are going to die. So they decide they are going to have to eat one of them so the others may ...

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

In 1952 the New York Philharmonic was on a national tour...

...and on their way home from the west coast when their flight was grounded in Kansas due to bad weather.

It had been a long tour and tensions had been running high. A first violin player was a wreck from excessive alcohol consumption, the trumpet section engaged in much infighting due to com...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3rd Grade Classroom in a Chicken Farming Community

Miss Coral is a 3rd grade teacher in a rural community where almost all of the residents are chicken farmers. She decides to do a lesson with her students on stories with morals, and gives her students the homework of finding a story from their families that have morals.
The next day she asks ...

What do you call a poor Italian community?

Spaghetto

As compensation for their appalling behaviour, United Airlines are going to sponsor a lot more community sports and activities

Their first project will be Drag Racing

With all the United Airlines posts on Reddit, I feel the community might be getting a little...

carried away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scottsman walks into a pub, looking down in the dumps.

The bartender looks up to see the miserable chap and asks him about his woes.

"Wanna know what's fucked up?" The man says with a sigh, "If you build three houses for the community, do people go 'oh, there goes McDonough: the homebuilder?' No, never. If you save five wee lads and lasses from a...

A priest and rabbi were skinny dipping in a lake when a group of people arrived.

Some belonged to the priest’s congregation and the others belonged to the rabbi’s. The priest and rabbi left their clothes on the other side of the lake and didn't have time to retrieve them, so they got out of the lake hoping to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his gen...

Why was Jesus mad at the community basketball game?

Because Peter denied him 3 times.

The Flat Earth Community

has supporters all around the globe.

Why was the spider community so peaceful?

They experienced neutrality across the web.

Florida Retirement Community...

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.

A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I lived here years ago."

"So, where were yo...

Girl, are you a community college?

Because you're cheap, easy to get into, and people will settle for you if they can't do any better.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.