A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace an older doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his house-call rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fre...

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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charges dropped...

I hope he isnt beating himself up over this

Overheard at the Community Swimming Pool

Lifeguard: Kowalski, you are officially banned from the pool.

Kowalski: Why is that?

Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool.

Kowalski: But I'm not the only one.

Lifeguard: You are the only one who does it from the diving board.

There’s a small community trying to save our world and reduce global warming

Anti-vaxxers

What are the LGBTQ community's favorite electronic components?

Transistors

What online community has the most intense fetish?

Battleboarders.

They're all about finding good *feets*.

The lines in the LGBT community flag are straight.

Ironic.

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Hello! I traveled back in time from the year 2077 to witness the founding of my community.

Anyone knows where i can find the
LQBTQRSKCULDNWUKZOBENDILWKNDPIQHBRJCHNEJBCYWKEUBFUCKMEOSBE+ community?

There's one problem about the LGBTQ community

None of them can think straight

Do you think Amy Schumer knows about this community?

Her career could skyrocket if she discovered us.

Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is completely normal.

And I would never make a joke about such a straight thing.

I am the biggest supporter of the LGBTQ community you'll ever find

Let's go buy tacos & quesadillas anytime!

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

How did the medical community settle on the name for PMS?

Mad cow disease was already taken!

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

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The lgbt+ community should thank me!

Because I made all people i‘m dating gay......

A man came to my door today asking for donations for the local community pool,

So I gave him a glass of water.

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Why is Fonzy so popular in the LGBTQ community?

because he’s AYYYY sexual

I've just walked past our local community centre and I could clearly hear these board-game enthusiasts...

...all stood in the porchway bragging endlessly about their various tournament accomplishments.

You might think that sounds like it would have been pretty annoying for me, but infact...





I rather like the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

What do you call drama in the LGBT community?

LGBTea

A Christian priest, a Muslim priest and a rabbi are asked what method they use to give money with God and the community.

The Christain priest goes first. He draws a circle and throws all the money into the air. "Whatever falls into the inner part of the circle is mine, whatever falls on the outer side of the circle is God's and the communities.

The Muslim priest goes second. He draws a straight line and throws ...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

My name for a the reptilian shaped microscopic creature really blew up the scientific community.

It was dinomite.

I’ve been issued Community Service..

I was assigned the “Recycling Program”. I figured I’d start here since there’s a lot of reused content which would reduce my searching.

Did you here about the train conductor who robbed his community's 7/11?

Police are saying he had a local-motive

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A priest decides to do some community work.

After considering where he should travel to do this work, he decides to travel to the Nigerian desert and assist the farmers working there.

After several weeks providing physical labour to the farmers he asks if there is a more effective way to help them. The farmer replied to him "Father, it...

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There was a sex shop that opened up across the highway from a 55+ aged swinger community

I wonder if it's because the orgies were getting old.

Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders?

Because you're never totally sure what values they hold.

Did you hear the one about the LGBTQ2S+ community?

They're working together to build the perfect password

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

Whats the difference between an arrow and the LGBT+ community?

An arrow actually has a point.

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What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be ...

In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

So my Irish friend decided to tell his community he's an atheist...

One man in the crowd then yelled "Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"

(Wow this exploded. Front... *wow*. Gotta say, I like the (current) top comment's version more.)

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his ...

A priest and rabbi were skinny dipping in a lake when a group of people arrived.

Some belonged to the priest’s congregation and the others belonged to the rabbi’s. The priest and rabbi left their clothes on the other side of the lake and didn't have time to retrieve them, so they got out of the lake hoping to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his gen...

I tried starting an anarchist community

But no one would follow the rules

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

What do you call a community of fortune tellers who work for free?

A non-prophet organization

What would you need to create if you wanted to attract and dominate over an entire community of BDSM enthusiasts?

A Subreddit.

A cannibal shows up late to a community dinner.

Everyone else is annoyed, so they give him the cold shoulder.

Why isn’t Matzah popular outside the Jewish community?

Because it’s never been on the rise.

Reddit is really a green community,

considering all the recycled content on here.

Starbucks makes a drastic move to their menu to improve community relations

Patrons may no longer order black coffee.

What do you call a community with a lot of Bars?

A Prison.

What is a rare material in the bee community?

Hiveory

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The company Valve is just like a child. It came into the world on the 24th August, 1996. Nurtured by a community...

...only to get fucked as soon as it turns 21.

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Why was the Amish woman shunned from her community?

She was fucking 20 Mennonite

When it comes to my favorite members of the religious community

Priests are second to nun.

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Yet another day at the retirement community.

George and Helen had been flirting with each other for weeks and finally found themselves at a point where intimate relations were mere moments away.

Helen, trusting in the moment, whispers to George, "Be gentle, I have acute angina."

George, a bit hearing impaired, replies, "Thank God...

The EA community team has now provided a feeling of pride and accomplishment to about 520,000 gamers...

By allowing us to Downvote them into Reddit hall of shame

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What's the LGBT community's favorite sex position?

Sixty-*Nouns*

At the community swimming pool I met a fellow swimming that had no arms or legs.

I said, " Excuse me sir, but I think it's amazing what you're doing there! Do you mind telling me how you lost all your limbs?"

He said, "Oh, I lost them in the war. I was a Sergeant and I jumped on an IED to save my squad. My body armor saved my life but it didn't cover everything."
...

what kind of humour cannot be found in the black community

dad jokes

Yesterday a couple of people came to my home and asked if I'd like to donate to the community pool…

I said "sure, wait here." A minute later I came back from the sink with some water and said, "just return the glass when you get a chance"

Did you hear about the teen suicide figures throughout the Muslim community?

It's exploded in the past few years

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Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way...

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Joe is a fairly respected member of the community

He has always follow the rules and did the right thing. Wanting to expand his horizons he decided to experience a little bit of the seedier aspects of life. He had settled on finding himself a prostitute. As he was walking down a dimmly lit street, a hushed voiced whispered to him, "twenty bucks a...

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I walked into my local community center.

I was visiting a local community center because I was interested in learning a new hobby.


On my way to the office, I passed a group of guys in a beat boxing class.


I walked in and decided to try and fit in with my beatboxing skills, "bootssskts bootsskts uhh uhh my name is Chri...

Detroit isn't That Bad... Trust Me

A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.

"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."

The ...

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3rd Grade Classroom in a Chicken Farming Community

Miss Coral is a 3rd grade teacher in a rural community where almost all of the residents are chicken farmers. She decides to do a lesson with her students on stories with morals, and gives her students the homework of finding a story from their families that have morals.
The next day she asks ...

What do you call a poor Italian community?

Spaghetto

As compensation for their appalling behaviour, United Airlines are going to sponsor a lot more community sports and activities

Their first project will be Drag Racing

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Pleading to the r/jokes community. Can we please stop all the "this is an old joke" comments?

I mean, every joke that makes it to the front page has the obligatory "this is an old joke", "I've heard this before" comment. Unless the OP literally made the joke up themselves, then *every* joke on here has been heard before. My internal response to those comments is always "NO SHIT."

Ye...

Why was Jesus mad at the community basketball game?

Because Peter denied him 3 times.

There was once, in a small town, a man named Don.

One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives.

The left half, more prone to rati...

My therapist recommended an anonymous community to me, a narcissist. Said that they gather and discuss their day to day accomplishments, annoyances, etc.

I told him I've been using Reddit for a couple months now and see no changes.

I then saw myself out.

Why was the spider community so peaceful?

They experienced neutrality across the web.

Florida Retirement Community...

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.

A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench.

After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"

He replies, "I lived here years ago."

"So, where were yo...

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A local man wins the lottery.

After he’s cashed in his winnings he’s overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, and serenity. He wants to give back to his community and he thinks that everyone should get in on the feels. He decides to throw a grand party at his new mansion where anyone in town can come to eat and drink for free as long as...

It's a shame that nobody is stepping up to defend the clown community

Not even the mimes are talking

The Flat Earth Community

has supporters all around the globe.

Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community.

Prison.

He meant prison.

Got in trouble at school for this joke

So I'm in class and were doing civil rights and the teacher says to the class "so who can't walk freely in some community's" and i say back "handicap people".......Got a week of detention.

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The most toxic substances known to mankind.

1. Arsenic
2. Cyanide
3. Polonium
4. Mercury
5. The League of Legends community

The imgur community is essentially the reddit community's younger sister

She likes to think that she's edgier and smarter than you are, but she's really just obnoxious, pretentious, rude, and offensive

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The Humble Tribs

A humble community of people, named the Tribs live at the foot of a mountain.

One day - after generations and generations of prosper at the foot of the mountain a monster appears at the top and tosses boulders down at the village - causing death, destruction and bewildering the Tribs.
...

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