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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

An old man, a schoolboy, a lawyer, a doctor, and a community service worker are all on a plane with only four parachutes when...

The pilot of the plane has a stroke and passes away. As the plane plummets its passengers to death the five members of the aircraft argue over who deserve to have the four bags containing the parachutes.

Social Worker: I deserve to live because I protect vulnerable children and support famili...

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace an older doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his house-call rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fre...

Why are priests always doing service in the community?

Because of their religious convictions

I got a $900 fine and a month of community service for urinating in public...

If you ask me it was a harsh punishment for only a wee crime.

I'll see myself out.

Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charges dropped...

I hope he isnt beating himself up over this

Overheard at the Community Swimming Pool

Lifeguard: Kowalski, you are officially banned from the pool.

Kowalski: Why is that?

Lifeguard: Because you pee in the pool.

Kowalski: But I'm not the only one.

Lifeguard: You are the only one who does it from the diving board.

Do you think Amy Schumer knows about this community?

Her career could skyrocket if she discovered us.

I am a member of an online community which appreciates & discusses the programming language C.

We call ourselves the 'C-Men'.

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I knew a lady whose idea of community service was giving handjobs to blue collar workers.

She was a jack off all trades.

Mark donated 100 chairs to the community center.

It was a very charitable act.

The lines in the LGBT community flag are straight.

Ironic.

There's been a recent surge in the number of male crossdressers in the Amish community.

Be careful. Women you might see during the day, may actually be mennonite.

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An uneducated man decides to give college a second chance. He walks up to the Dean of his local community college and says, "I want to learn something new, I haven't learned much and I want to learn more,". "Great, which class would you like to take?" said the Dean.

"Which classes do you offer?" responded the man.

"We have all sorts of classes, from science to logic," said the Dean.

"What's logic?" asked the man.

"Well, I can use information to assume something." Said the Dean.

"How?" asked the Man.

"Take this scenario, d...

Last night I visited a fetishist community website for the first time

Why are there so many dudes called Dom?

Our local priest is very popular amongst the community but there are rumours that he's a paedophile.

That's a minor issue.

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Me: I'm terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?

Me: *SCREAMS*

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

There's one problem about the LGBTQ community

None of them can think straight

Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is completely normal.

And I would never make a joke about such a straight thing.

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Hello! I traveled back in time from the year 2077 to witness the founding of my community.

Anyone knows where i can find the
LQBTQRSKCULDNWUKZOBENDILWKNDPIQHBRJCHNEJBCYWKEUBFUCKMEOSBE+ community?

There’s a small community trying to save our world and reduce global warming

Anti-vaxxers

What online community has the most intense fetish?

Battleboarders.

They're all about finding good *feets*.

What do you call drama in the LGBT community?

LGBTea

A man bought a bar

A couple years after running the place by himself, he noticed a stray puppy living in the alley behind it. He took the dog in and they became inseparable.

He named the dog Blackie and brought her to work with him every day. He taught her some bar tricks that the customers absolutely loved, e...

What are the LGBTQ community's favorite electronic components?

Transistors

How did the medical community settle on the name for PMS?

Mad cow disease was already taken!

Workers from a small russian community recently gathered together to fix one of the bells in an old historical bell tower.

Because in soviet russia, bell saved by you!

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area.

Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his ...

A man came to my door today asking for donations for the local community pool,

So I gave him a glass of water.

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The lgbt+ community should thank me!

Because I made all people i‘m dating gay......

From my late Polish grandpa

A man moved to a Polish neighborhood in Chicago, and fell in love with the community because everyone was so nice, happy and good looking.

Upon his next doctor’s visit, he asked, “Doctor, how do I become Polish? Everyone is so nice, happy and good looking.”

“Easy!” his doctor responde...

A Christian priest, a Muslim priest and a rabbi are asked what method they use to give money with God and the community.

The Christain priest goes first. He draws a circle and throws all the money into the air. "Whatever falls into the inner part of the circle is mine, whatever falls on the outer side of the circle is God's and the communities.

The Muslim priest goes second. He draws a straight line and throws ...

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Why is Fonzy so popular in the LGBTQ community?

because he’s AYYYY sexual

I've just walked past our local community centre and I could clearly hear these board-game enthusiasts...

...all stood in the porchway bragging endlessly about their various tournament accomplishments.

You might think that sounds like it would have been pretty annoying for me, but infact...





I rather like the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

A priest and rabbi were skinny dipping in a lake when a group of people arrived.

Some belonged to the priest’s congregation and the others belonged to the rabbi’s. The priest and rabbi left their clothes on the other side of the lake and didn't have time to retrieve them, so they got out of the lake hoping to make a run for it. The priest, running with his hands covering his gen...

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

A ventriloquist was doing his gig at a nightclub...

A blonde stands up and begins to protest. She says,"Hey knock it off with the dumb blonde jokes.We're not all that stupid I'll have you know. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work,in the community, and from reach...

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Plane Crash

Three men survive a plane crash in the snowy mountains. There is no way to escape. Their only hope is to survive until rescue arrives.

After a few weeks they come to the realization without food they are going to die. So they decide they are going to have to eat one of them so the others may ...

So my Irish friend decided to tell his community he's an atheist...

One man in the crowd then yelled "Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?"

(Wow this exploded. Front... *wow*. Gotta say, I like the (current) top comment's version more.)

There was once, in a small town, a man named Don.

One day Don was walking on top of a fence, and he slipped. When he slipped, the fence split him in half, right up the middle, but miraculously, each half of Don survived! Each half got up, started hopping away, and essentially started living separate lives.

The left half, more prone to rati...

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Three men are dying...

Three old men are on their deathbeds. The first says "I've lived a good life. I've supported my family, I've donated to charity, I've lived a good life. But my greatest disappointment is never having sex with an absolutely beautiful woman."

The second man says "I'm a very rich man. I have sev...

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A scottsman walks into a pub, looking down in the dumps.

The bartender looks up to see the miserable chap and asks him about his woes.

"Wanna know what's fucked up?" The man says with a sigh, "If you build three houses for the community, do people go 'oh, there goes McDonough: the homebuilder?' No, never. If you save five wee lads and lasses from a...

Ever since I got my left leg amputated, every girl has been avoiding me.

I got into a car accident a few years back and had my left leg amputated. Getting used to balancing myself on 1 leg and crutches took a lot of time. I felt that without my precious left leg, i would never be the same.

My confidence dropped severely, and the passion i had for all the things i ...

In 1952 the New York Philharmonic was on a national tour...

...and on their way home from the west coast when their flight was grounded in Kansas due to bad weather.

It had been a long tour and tensions had been running high. A first violin player was a wreck from excessive alcohol consumption, the trumpet section engaged in much infighting due to com...

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There was a sex shop that opened up across the highway from a 55+ aged swinger community

I wonder if it's because the orgies were getting old.

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A priest decides to do some community work.

After considering where he should travel to do this work, he decides to travel to the Nigerian desert and assist the farmers working there.

After several weeks providing physical labour to the farmers he asks if there is a more effective way to help them. The farmer replied to him "Father, it...

I’ve been issued Community Service..

I was assigned the “Recycling Program”. I figured I’d start here since there’s a lot of reused content which would reduce my searching.

Did you hear the one about the LGBTQ2S+ community?

They're working together to build the perfect password

My name for a the reptilian shaped microscopic creature really blew up the scientific community.

It was dinomite.

Coulda been worse.

A father walks past his son's room and to his astonishment he sees that the bed is neatly made and the room is all tidied up.

Then he saw an envelope on the pillow.

It's addressed to "Dad".

He picked it up, tore it open and read the note:

"Dear Dad, it is with great regre...

Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders?

Because you're never totally sure what values they hold.

Detroit isn't That Bad... Trust Me

A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.

"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."

The ...

In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

There was once a homeless man in a small town

Everybody knew him, everybody liked him, he never bothered anybody, until one day someone saw him down by the beach catching an osprey and cooking it up, and they called the cops. The cops arrived as he was finishing his meal, telling him "ospreys are protected animals around here. Sorry, but we got...

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I thought this sub was the appropriate place for some of these hard to believe real West Virginia Laws.

-If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.

-Roadkill may be taken home for supper.

-No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."

-Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.

-It...

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A black guy, Jew and a homosexual walks into the bar

What a fine example of an integrated community

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?.

The law...

The local farmer was voted in as mayor of his town.

The community always found him out-standing in his field.

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What would you have if the LGBT community kicked out all the gays?

A pretty good sandwich

Interesting misconception regarding Type O Blood

Initially, the medical community referred to it as 'Type Zero' blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins. The term was misinterpreted to what it is today. You could venture as far as saying it's a **typo.**

A square and a rectangle walk into a bar.

They both sit down, order a beer, and wait for the bartender to prepare their drinks.


They each take a sip; it's nice and cold. There's an abundance of bubbles in and on the beverage; perfect.


The square looks over next to him; the rectangle is looking down at his nearly empty ...

Reddit is really a green community,

considering all the recycled content on here.

What do you call a community of fortune tellers who work for free?

A non-prophet organization

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Freddie died in a fire

Freddie was a well respected member of his community, however his two best friends James and Thomas were a lot more boisterous and seen as a bit dim witted amongst the neighbourhood. One night Freddie's house catches on fire and Freddie is engulfed in the flames.

The next day a police office...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Why isn’t Matzah popular outside the Jewish community?

Because it’s never been on the rise.

I tried starting an anarchist community

But no one would follow the rules

Subreddits are like soulmates.

The perfect community for you is out there somewhere but you sure as hell aren't gonna find it in your lifetime.

Starbucks makes a drastic move to their menu to improve community relations

Patrons may no longer order black coffee.

A man walks into an LGBTQ centre.

He walks up to the front desk and introduces himself. "Hello, I identify as a chocolate bar. Can I join?"

The receptionist replies "Sir, that's disgraceful! You're mocking the community. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't call me sir!" The man exclaims. "I use her/she...

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

A cannibal shows up late to a community dinner.

Everyone else is annoyed, so they give him the cold shoulder.

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A local man wins the lottery.

After he’s cashed in his winnings he’s overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, and serenity. He wants to give back to his community and he thinks that everyone should get in on the feels. He decides to throw a grand party at his new mansion where anyone in town can come to eat and drink for free as long as...

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Yet another day at the retirement community.

George and Helen had been flirting with each other for weeks and finally found themselves at a point where intimate relations were mere moments away.

Helen, trusting in the moment, whispers to George, "Be gentle, I have acute angina."

George, a bit hearing impaired, replies, "Thank God...

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Entertainment night at the senior home

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Centre.

After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show -Claude the Hypnotist!



Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.



"Yes, ea...

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The company Valve is just like a child. It came into the world on the 24th August, 1996. Nurtured by a community...

...only to get fucked as soon as it turns 21.

What do you call a community with a lot of Bars?

A Prison.

My kind of guy

A new retirement home opened up in the community with separate floors for men and for women. After the first few weeks of being open all the residents were called into the recreation room so staff could explain the rules. It was emphasized that after hours there would be no men on the women's floor ...

Got in trouble at school for this joke

So I'm in class and were doing civil rights and the teacher says to the class "so who can't walk freely in some community's" and i say back "handicap people".......Got a week of detention.

What is a rare material in the bee community?

Hiveory

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The Pillsbury Dough Boy has died...

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughb...

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The Humble Tribs

A humble community of people, named the Tribs live at the foot of a mountain.

One day - after generations and generations of prosper at the foot of the mountain a monster appears at the top and tosses boulders down at the village - causing death, destruction and bewildering the Tribs.
...

The EA community team has now provided a feeling of pride and accomplishment to about 520,000 gamers...

By allowing us to Downvote them into Reddit hall of shame

At the community swimming pool I met a fellow swimming that had no arms or legs.

I said, " Excuse me sir, but I think it's amazing what you're doing there! Do you mind telling me how you lost all your limbs?"

He said, "Oh, I lost them in the war. I was a Sergeant and I jumped on an IED to save my squad. My body armor saved my life but it didn't cover everything."
...

When it comes to my favorite members of the religious community

Priests are second to nun.

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Why was the Amish woman shunned from her community?

She was fucking 20 Mennonite

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Joe is a fairly respected member of the community

He has always follow the rules and did the right thing. Wanting to expand his horizons he decided to experience a little bit of the seedier aspects of life. He had settled on finding himself a prostitute. As he was walking down a dimmly lit street, a hushed voiced whispered to him, "twenty bucks a...

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What's the LGBT community's favorite sex position?

Sixty-*Nouns*

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I walked into my local community center.

I was visiting a local community center because I was interested in learning a new hobby.


On my way to the office, I passed a group of guys in a beat boxing class.


I walked in and decided to try and fit in with my beatboxing skills, "bootssskts bootsskts uhh uhh my name is Chri...

Adam Libnitzki(32) got struck by lightning.

02, Jul, 2019 | Sunday

This Sunday morning was a melancholic event in the Libnitzki family, As the 32 year old father of three children aged 2,3 and 16 years old was found dead due to a lightning strike. The grieving wife informed the reporters that her husband was a loved man and was a well ...

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Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way...

what kind of humour cannot be found in the black community

dad jokes

Did you hear about the teen suicide figures throughout the Muslim community?

It's exploded in the past few years

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Pleading to the r/jokes community. Can we please stop all the "this is an old joke" comments?

I mean, every joke that makes it to the front page has the obligatory "this is an old joke", "I've heard this before" comment. Unless the OP literally made the joke up themselves, then *every* joke on here has been heard before. My internal response to those comments is always "NO SHIT."

Ye...

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