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Folder Jokes

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What do you do with a compressed folder of porn?

Unzip...

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My ex just sent me nudes in a compressed folder

Sigh... *unzips*

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I remember when bandwidth was so bad, your porn was limited to downloading compressed folders of images over modems.

Sigh... * unzips *


Note: if this joke hasn't been made before, y'all are slacking. ;)

Why was the pdf afraid of the folder?

It had a .rar file in it.

I know it's horrible, but I came up with it when I was twelve.

My parents nearly took my computer away.

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What is the name of Mulder's porn folder?

The XXX-Files

The Lords email sent folder...

One day G-d was looking down at Earth and saw all the bad behavior that was going on ...

So He called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time ...

When he returned, he told G-d, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not ...

...

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My porn folder goes away during no nut november

I just want to come with it

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders

1. Go to your Desktop and make a new folder named Internet Explorer
2. Change the folder's icon to Internet Explorer
3. Keep it in your favorite corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer!

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What do you call a folder of child pornography?

A pedo-file.

What's the difference between an artist's folder and a diseased fortress?

One's a portfolio, the other is Fort Polio.

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Personal Finances is a good name for your porn folder

Until the tax man visits...and is a woman

An old man goes to the doctor for his annual head-to-toe checkup.

The doctor comes in with a folder full of test results and says, “I’ve got two major concerns.” The old man says, “Ok doc, let’s hear it.” Doctor says, “Well, as you know we ran a full body MRI, and we discovered that most of your major organs are riddled with cancer.” “Oh no!” the old man exclaims....

What do you call a Filipino contortionist?

A manila folder!!!

What’s the difference between a folder of an artist work and a diseased strong hold?

One’s a portfolio, and the other’s fort polio

The PI awakens to a creaking door...

A rookie steps into his office with a manilla folder.


"Another murder case?" Quips the private investigator, "Uh-huh" goes the rookie as he slides the folder across the desk.


Upon opening it, the room is filled to the brim with crows.

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

The HR takes the top 20 application folders from the pile and throw it in the trash.

Those people have bad luck. We don't want people with bad luck.

How do you keep your husband from reading your email?

Rename the folder instruction manual.

I am in the hospital because my cousin’s brother swallowed a 16gb memory card and he is singing all songs in it

Were hoping it doesn't reach video folder...

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Nothing says “I guess I’ll just watch some porn,”

like accidentally opening your spam folder.

Some idiot at my work opened up every cabinet in our records department, pulled out all the folders, put them on a pile on the floor, then shat all over it.

Now I have to spend tomorrow refiling the aisles of files he defiled in a pile on the tile.

Perfume and cologne can now be transferred via email.

They go into your scent folder.

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A stripper tries a new form of roleplay and finds great success

The man nervously entered the room. Unlike the rooms around it, it looked plain and undecorated, with normal lighting. In it was a table and 2 chairs.

Cherry the Stripper entered. She was wearing a plain blouse, a normal length skirt, and glasses. She was also carrying a folder.

She sa...

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For milder grievances with co-workers, try this:

When your colleague leaves their computer unattended, jump on & create a new desktop folder. Call it say **"MyBestialityPorno"**. Take a screenshot of the desktop. Delete the folder. Set screenshot as the computer *wallpaper*.

When your vic gets back & notices, they'll try furiously t...

There is exactly one pro and one con thing about Windows.

Pro: You can name a folder "pro".

Con: You can't name a folder "con".

Yo mama so fat

1 photo of her takes more space than your "homework folder"

I will post later

I am in hospital, cause my cousin brother swallowed a 128 GB SD card and he is singing all the songs in it I hope he doesn't reach the videos folder

Coronavirus is serious business

I scoffed at how serious the Coronavirus was being portrayed.

Then I realized that I haven’t been invited to the Russian, Ukrainian, or Asian dating sites in my junk folder in weeks!

The jackass

Bob was working with John and Dave. John shouts over to Bob, "Hey Jackass, fill out that paperwork". A bit later, John shouts at Bob again, "Hey Jackass, bring me that file folder". Dave seeing that Bob was down at all the shouting went over to him and said "Why do you let John call you Jackass?"...

The Exam

Three Highschool Sr's decided to blow off their final exam for their logic class, and spend the day getting wasted.

When they returned to class the next day they explained to the professor that they were unable to get to class the day before due to a flat tire and no cell phone coverage in th...

Woman gets test results for her husband from the doctor

Doctor: Well, ma'am, your husband can live a long and healthy life, but we have to observe a strict regimen for him, or he won't. First, no agitation. His heart doesn't take that well, so you have to speak quietly and softly to him, don't require him to make any hasty moves, don't wake him rudely an...

In an alternate reality, bears speak and coexist with humans.

A prominent electrician (who happened to be a bear) employed several humans for various positions within his company. Some were in customer service, handling the phones. Others were on-site technicians who drove around town from job to job. One human, Mike, was hired to do two different jobs inside ...

2 farmers are fighting over their donkeys.

They can't tell the donkeys apart so the first farmer says "I'll cut my the tail of my donkey off so that we can tell."

A few days later the donkeys get into a fight and the other donkey gets it's tail bitten off.

The other farmer says "I'll cut my donkey's ear off so I know it's mine...

Blonde Logic

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all wanna be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.
...

A Candid Evaluation of the British Navy

Once upon a time, in the 1800s, a bureaucrat of the British Empire was assigned the task of interviewing sailors to get a candid evaluation of the level of contentedness of sailors with their captain. As he was opening his folder, he asked the first sailor that he was interviewing, "Where are you fr...

LPT: Always read product reviews before buying electronics

Like a lot of people, I’ve been drawn in by Amazon to check out their prime day deals. I was browsing through the electronics earlier, looking for a new flash drive for transferring documents between my home and work computers. The primary one I use currently is only USB 2.0 and I figured it might ...

Vinny the Hitman's birthday

On his birthday, Vinny, a professional hitman, is getting ready to go out, when suddenly, a large group of mobsters shows up at hist front door.


"Vinny," say the mobsters, "it's your birthday. Come on, we've booked you an entire restaurant. Let's go."


"Oh my god guys," says Vin...

A remote laptop user calls tech support

A remote laptop user called in and frantically said that all of her emails disappeared. I found them in her deleted folder a few moments later.

Expecting her to want me to tell her how she deleted them, I was trying to come up with solutions for her but then she said, "I know how those got...

Cheating Husband

A woman who suspects her husband of 20 years to be cheating, decides to hire a private detective.

The PI follows the husband around for several months, taking photos while the husband visits many different women.

After another couple of months, the PI stops by the house to speak to the...

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How to Write a Paper

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair, in a well lit place, with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you conce...

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Trump snuffs it, and arrives at the Pearly Gates

they issue him with a Redirect Notice, and he is sent to the not-so-pearly ones.
The Devil looks at his clipboard irritably.
“Look, I’ve got a problem. You’re due here about now, but I’m full. I’ll have to ID one of the temporary inmates, whose sentence is just about up, and give them an ...

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