This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching movies on illegal websites are probably the hottest thing you can do.

I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.

Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website

I think I should start uploading my bills.

I found a good website for conjunctivitis.

It's a site for sore eyes.

All websites use cookies.

Except English websites. They use biscuits.

US websites use cookies to track you

British websites use biscuits

>!French websites use croissants!<

What do you call a dating website for QAnon believers?

Qpid

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

BTW it's about Cupid not stupid, just in case anyone gets offended lmao

I'm starting a social media website for religious people with a lisp

Faithbook

Reddit is the most eco-friendly website

Everything here gets reused a million times

Never trust a website with purple terms and conditions.

They clearly violet your privacy.

TIL Reddit has one of the most effective carbon offset programs of any website

Which is unsurprising considering /r/jokes consistently achieves a 100% recycle rate.

What do you call a website where you pay to look at pictures of Spanish desserts?

OnlyFlans

It seems to be discriminatory, but my State's COVID-19 vaccination scheduling website has given everyone with low IQs appointments for the same date next week.

February 29th.

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately it doesn't have a home page.

Which whales have the fastest websites?

Cachalots

How do you reach OJ Simpson’s website?

Slash / slash / backslash \ ESCape

I had no freaking idea!

I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 ye...

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The government has decided to ban all alcohol adverts on pornography websites

When asked, an official commented:

'We made this decision for the wellbeing of the kids who watch it'

I was on a diabetes awareness website...

It asked if I accept cookies. Definitely a trick question!

Why did support group website for jealous husband use http?

Because they were insecure

What do you get when you combine an image board website and a popular puzzle game show?

Wheel of 4chan!

How do you call website, where you can watch online horror movies?

Screaming service

Did you hear about the new website most popular with Alabama THOTs?

Only Fam

If a satirical website can dupe the president of the US

imagine what foreign intelligence agencies do to him.

I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players…

The servers are currently down...

There's a new website that hosts videos of people playing brass instruments.

YouTuba.

I went to an adult website and searched for good Christian content.

Turns out it was all missionaries.

A crafting website for people who have seizures

Epiletsy

On the website ETSY, I bought a wallet made out of a FleshLight.

Obviously, I've recently come into some money.

CDC website: new free online COVID-19 test available

How it works is like this: you visit the site with your phone, you spit on the camera lens and then send them that picture--and just from that photo, they can tell if you're an idiot.

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Just got a job working on PornHub's website

Now I'm always working hard

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

A man with a speech impediment goes on a dating website..

This dating website has you make a short video for your profile to introduce yourself, so the man makes his video and says "Hi my name's Daniel and im Deaf"

The man successfully scores a date with a woman who happens to know sign language

That night he shows up to the date and to his d...

All these websites asking me to accept these cookies...

But I still haven’t gotten even one of them!

What is a Audit?

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.

Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the...

99.99% of the people on this website are not smart

Glad I'm the 1%

It's a bit ironic a website filled with people that don't read the articles

is called "Reddit"

People that don't know the difference between two, to, and too should be banned from this website.

Their so freaking stupid!

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I just tried to set up an account on the Weight Watchers website.

Asked me "will you accept cookies?", the piss-taking bastards.

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I realized that Tinder is the exact opposite of most websites in porn website ads.

There’s tons of hot single ladies in my area, but none of them want to fuck me.

Vincent Price is taller than Alan Price, who is heavier than Katie Price

As I discovered on this Price comparison website

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[NSFW] A porn website reviewer finally found a website he can give a 10/10 rating

Since then, he's been gushing with enthusiasm.

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I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website.

That lying bitch isn't, "Fun to be around."

I created a website for unfinished t's, i's, and j's.

crossand.me

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I found a website with guaranteed real virgins [NSFW]

www.reddit.com

Want to know why this website is called reddit?

because, every time you read a post, you have already read it.

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I'm gonna make an adult website for gardeners

it's gonna be called hydropornic

Why did the spider get on the computer?

To check his website.



This is my son's favorite joke and he wanted me to post it for Halloween.

I’m at war with this website

And you just reddit here first

[close Reddit] gosh this website sucks!

**[2 mins later reopening Reddit]** maybe it's good now though

Man, I hate it when the date picker for my birthday on a website starts with the current date.

Do they think that I was born yesterday?

Website: We use cookies to improve performance.

Me: Same

TIL wooden shoe failure is responsible for multiple deaths each year in the Netherlands. The incidents are archived on this government website.

The Broken Clog Croakin' Blog

Grandma is like a website

You can't say no to cookies

What does a website for orphans look like?

Pretty empty, there’s not even a homepage.

What do Amazon Prime and a fanfiction website have in common?

Free shipping!

I just realized why adult websites have a bunch of incest recently.

Everyone is clicking on 'Show more related videos'.

Last night I visited a fetishist community website for the first time

Why are there so many dudes called Dom?

went to this website, it said 18+ only

So I invited all my friends.

I'm launching a pirating website.

It has two games: a treasure hunting game called "X Marrrrrrks the Spot" and a naval warfare game called "Take No Prisonerrrrrrs." It also has lots of free movies you can download and watch.

All the movies have 3.14 stars.

Just been banned from a Christian dating website.

Apparently "Hung_Like_Jesus" isn't an appropriate user name!

I made a website for Kamikaze pilots.

There's no landing page.

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Why People Hate School Re-Unions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

 They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey ...

You won’t believe how easy it is to predict the future!

All you need to do is to look into a crystal ball, purchasable from my website for only $999!

You don’t believe me?

See? Exactly what I predicted!

TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor

At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.

I found a website for clumsy people.

I stumbled across it.

What is the best website find information about a DJ?

Wikiwikiwikipedia

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What's the most important website for every computer geek for all his problems?

Pornhub.

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I'm thinking about starting a donation website for men who can't afford Viagra

I was going to call it "Dick starter"

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I ordered an extra large T-shirt from an online Roman website.

They sent me fucking forty regular.

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Starbucks announced they will soon block porn websites from their public access Wifi

Good thing all I need is that two-tailed mermaid.

A website opened that houses many Eye relief medicine

It was a site for sore eyes

I made a website for orphans as well.

But you need your parents’ permission before going online.

I think someone is trying to kill me, so I Googled him and when I got to his website my heart stopped

It wants to know my location!

I tried to sign up to a website yesterday. I put in the password 'beefstew'

But it said the password wasn't stroganoff.

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Man, I got banned from a dating website because I broke the "no dicks, boobs or asshole pictures" rule.

I didn't notice Trump on TV in the background.

I found a useful website for people with commitment issues.

But I didn't want to sign up.

I've been learning keyboard shortcuts

I have decided to start learning and using keyboard shortcuts, they are really convenient and can actually save you quite a bit of time.

For example:

The Windows key + D will minimize everything and go to your desktop

Alt Tab will switch between applications

Alt Right wi...

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Got called a homophone after leaving a bad review on a store's website.

Look, eye don't care who cells the product. If it brakes, I won't by it with my hard urned cache!

I want to start an online donation website for my cocaine and hookers habit.

I'm going to call it GoBlowMe

A new study just showed that reddit is one of the most environmentally friendly websites.

Everything they promote is recycled garbage.

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I once read a sexual health website that recommended men stick their dick in an oven...

I thought to myself, "Now that's a hot tip"

TIFU by downloading a movie from an arabic website. The language was dubbed.

And before you all go on saying wrong sub, well, yes, that was arabic too.

My friend and his wife found each other on a dating website,

Three years after marriage. That was awkward.

To celebrate the launch of the new website we are offering one lucky winner $50 in cash or a meal for 2 at an Elvis Presley tribute.

Just comment '1' for the money or '2' for the show.

Reddit's website was down yesterday.

And nobody had any idea what to do. There were no profits to be made while Reddit was down. Most of the workers had either gone home or were sitting at their desks doing nothing. The executives started losing it. They had already lost several thousand dollars of ad revenue from a lack of clicks. The...

I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.

Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?

Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the

other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.

Me: What website were they on?

Him: Google Earth Street View.

I just finished designing a website for an orphanage

You need your parents permission to access the site...

I love Sweden and I love goats...

So, I went to the website goat.se... let's just say it was not what I expected.

What is Josh Duggar's second favorite dating website after Ashley-Madison?

Ancestry.com

I found a good website for sausage making...

I’ll be sure to send you the link

What do you call a French website hosting multiple chat rooms?

A *chat*eau.

A high quality post on a website with active comment section

*Top Comment *
Thank you for the gold stranger

If you go to this website while using someone's phone you can see their entire search history even from private browsing

Would be a terrifying thing to read if it was true

A women stopped me in the coffee shop the other day claiming she met me through a vegetarian-only dating website...

but I had never met herbivore.

I got rich by creating an anonymous imageboard website.

I made a 4chan.

I made a website for Kids' jokes.

But for some reason people seem hesitant to go to kidslaughter.com

What do you call a website without net neutrality?

<Please upgrade to Reddit Gold Package™ to read this post>

I've just signed up to the slimming world website.

Once I've logged in, it asked me to accept cookies.

I think it's a test.

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I was on a porn website. An ad popped up, saying, 'I'm a hot, sexy girl that lives in your area and I want a thick, hard penis...'

I thought, 'You should probably see a surgeon about that.'

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Why does my porn website have a share to google+ button?

...I dont want people to know I use google+

I have a delivery van set as my profile picture on dating websites.

I just want the ladies to know what they’re getting into.

A rookie comedian asks an experienced comedian how he manages to cater his jokes toward his audience.

The comedian gives the newcomer a slip of paper with a website url. “This is a forum for comedians where they trade jokes. It’s perfect to find the right joke for the right occasion.”

So just before his first gig at a tailors convention, he looks up “jokes for tailors” on the forum. He manage...

TIL there's a website that recycles 98% of its pages.

/r/Jokes

My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."



The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...

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I joined a Dating website the other day,

they asked me what i was interested in,so i wrote,

'Page 3 girls, I think they're really sexy'.

I wondered why i hadn't had any responses until i realised the letter 'P' on my keyboard wasn't working

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I made a username called "My Dick" on a website.

The website said that it wasn't long enough.

Farmers Only is the dating website for farmers. What’s the hook-up site?

Timber

What do you call a doctor for websites?

A URLologist

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