This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

last night I was setting up a password for an account on something

I entered in "my dick", at first I thought the password was ok but then the website told me to try something longer. at this moment I wasn't upset I just wanted to know how they knew.

A website walks into a gun store

A website walks into a gun store and gets loaded.

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WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't click on a website called Best Porn Ever.

Aparently it has a viras that dissabls yur spelchek.

A new dating website has been taking Alabama by storm...

It's pretty uncommon in other places, so you may have heard of it. It's called OnlyFams.

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I made a website full of sexy images of Archduke Ferdinand. It's called...

OnlyFranz

Grandmothers are like websites

They keep asking you to accept their cookies.

What game character takes you to a website?

Link.

I had no freaking idea!

I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 ye...

I found a good website for conjunctivitis.

It's a site for sore eyes.

Vincent Price is taller than Alan Price, who is heavier than Katie Price

As I discovered on this Price comparison website

US websites use cookies to track you

British websites use biscuits

>!French websites use croissants!<

TIL Reddit has one of the most effective carbon offset programs of any website

Which is unsurprising considering /r/jokes consistently achieves a 100% recycle rate.

What is a Audit?

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.

Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the...

Never trust a website with purple terms and conditions.

They clearly violet your privacy.

What do you call a dating website for QAnon believers?

Qpid

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

BTW it's about Cupid not stupid, just in case anyone gets offended lmao

Which whales have the fastest websites?

Cachalots

Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website

I think I should start uploading my bills.

I'm starting a social media website for religious people with a lisp

Faithbook

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Watching movies on illegal websites are probably the hottest thing you can do.

I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.

It seems to be discriminatory, but my State's COVID-19 vaccination scheduling website has given everyone with low IQs appointments for the same date next week.

February 29th.

What do you call a website where you pay to look at pictures of Spanish desserts?

OnlyFlans

Why did support group website for jealous husband use http?

Because they were insecure

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Why People Hate School Re-Unions

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

 They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey ...

How do you reach OJ Simpson’s website?

Slash / slash / backslash \ ESCape

I made a website for orphans

But its homepage is not loading....

You won’t believe how easy it is to predict the future!

All you need to do is to look into a crystal ball, purchasable from my website for only $999!

You don’t believe me?

See? Exactly what I predicted!

TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor

At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.

I was on a diabetes awareness website...

It asked if I accept cookies. Definitely a trick question!

Imade a website for orphans

There wasn't a home page

I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.

Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?

Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the

other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.

Me: What website were they on?

Him: Google Earth Street View.

How do you call website, where you can watch online horror movies?

Screaming service

What do you get when you combine an image board website and a popular puzzle game show?

Wheel of 4chan!

I've been learning keyboard shortcuts

I have decided to start learning and using keyboard shortcuts, they are really convenient and can actually save you quite a bit of time.

For example:

The Windows key + D will minimize everything and go to your desktop

Alt Tab will switch between applications

Alt Right wi...

Did you hear about the new website most popular with Alabama THOTs?

Only Fam

A rookie comedian asks an experienced comedian how he manages to cater his jokes toward his audience.

The comedian gives the newcomer a slip of paper with a website url. “This is a forum for comedians where they trade jokes. It’s perfect to find the right joke for the right occasion.”

So just before his first gig at a tailors convention, he looks up “jokes for tailors” on the forum. He manage...

Why did the spider get on the computer?

To check his website.



This is my son's favorite joke and he wanted me to post it for Halloween.

If a satirical website can dupe the president of the US

imagine what foreign intelligence agencies do to him.

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The government has decided to ban all alcohol adverts on pornography websites

When asked, an official commented:

'We made this decision for the wellbeing of the kids who watch it'

A crafting website for people who have seizures

Epiletsy

There's a new website that hosts videos of people playing brass instruments.

YouTuba.

On the website ETSY, I bought a wallet made out of a FleshLight.

Obviously, I've recently come into some money.

I went to an adult website and searched for good Christian content.

Turns out it was all missionaries.

CDC website: new free online COVID-19 test available

How it works is like this: you visit the site with your phone, you spit on the camera lens and then send them that picture--and just from that photo, they can tell if you're an idiot.

The CEO of Reddit was bored

He decided to go on his own website to try to entertain himself. After hours of searching for a good subreddit he found one called r/jokes. He scrolled through a couple posts and he had one thing to say.

I Reddit

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Me and my family recently went to a zoo

It had bad ratings on websites. When we went there it was completely empty except one small dog

It was a shit zoo

My handwriting is so bad

That websites use it as captcha.

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First Time Teacher

Day 1 of home schooling


0800  opened school website to get assignments.


0900  found where assignments were hidden on the website.


0915  called school to have the website explained.


0930  called school again.


0945  Had wife call school ...

It's a bit ironic a website filled with people that don't read the articles

is called "Reddit"

(NSFW) A redneck bought a computer and he was trying to browse internet with his friend.

They came across a shopping website which they mistook for a dating website and went to the lingerie section .

After a long selection, his friend said " look this woman wearing red lingerie is really gorgeous and is only $49.99. order her" .

So he went and ordered it .

2 weeks l...

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I just tried to set up an account on the Weight Watchers website.

Asked me "will you accept cookies?", the piss-taking bastards.

All these websites asking me to accept these cookies...

But I still haven’t gotten even one of them!

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

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My 8 year old son asked me for a bookmark

I said “listen you little shit, were not going through this again just for the sake of imaginary karma on a goddamn website”

I’m at war with this website

And you just reddit here first

I created a website for unfinished t's, i's, and j's.

crossand.me

What do you call a place where spiders meet?

Website.

[close Reddit] gosh this website sucks!

**[2 mins later reopening Reddit]** maybe it's good now though

This site uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on the site. By continuing to use the site, you agree to accept these cookies.

I genuinely just copied and pasted this off the weight watchers website

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[NSFW] A porn website reviewer finally found a website he can give a 10/10 rating

Since then, he's been gushing with enthusiasm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Navy Rhyme

A Navy man, a war hero, attends a lunch at a Ladies’ Patriotic Society. Cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures it manfully. Then the ladies, who have been at the sherry, ask to hear a Navy rhyme. Ladies, he says, I will accede to your request. But in place of each atrocious word, I will...

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I realized that Tinder is the exact opposite of most websites in porn website ads.

There’s tons of hot single ladies in my area, but none of them want to fuck me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm gonna make an adult website for gardeners

it's gonna be called hydropornic

99.99% of the people on this website are not smart

Glad I'm the 1%

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Just got a job working on PornHub's website

Now I'm always working hard

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The children gathered around their father

The first one asked "Why is my name poetry?"

"Because I went on a poetry website to recite a beautiful poem to your mother and then you were conceived"

The second one ask "Why is my name Amazon?"

"I went on that website to order a beautiful diamond ring for you mother. After she...

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Two guys in a bar discuss their occupations

Guy 1 - What's your job?

Guy 2 - I work in construction. How about yours?

Guy 1 - I'm a chicken farmer.

Guy 2 - Oh I see. What kind of tasks does that involve?

Guy 1 - Well, just yesterday, I filmed two gorgeous women having sex and put it on my porn business website.<...

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Me: You're firing me?

**Boss:** We have reason to believe you're using work computers to run some butt pic website. Bootypedia or something.

**Me:** First off I would never do that. Second, it's called Wikicheeks.

Why did the spider crawl to a computer?

To check it's website....

Yeah my 4 yr old just told me this.

Where does a cow like to go on the weekend?

The Moo-vies!




Ps: I got this from a website about jokes for 5 year olds

TIL wooden shoe failure is responsible for multiple deaths each year in the Netherlands. The incidents are archived on this government website.

The Broken Clog Croakin' Blog

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I'm a big fan of the Beatles, in particular Paul McCartney.

I made an account on the official Beatles website and made my profile picture an album of Paul McCartney throughout the years. However an admin told me I was going to be banned, I asked why and was shown the list of rules and the first was "Users are not allowed multipaul accounts."

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Yo mama so ugly that when she posted nudes to 4chan

The website’s name changed to mis4chan

People that don't know the difference between two, to, and too should be banned from this website.

Their so freaking stupid!

What do websites and people have in common?

They both use cookies to improve their performance

Man, I hate it when the date picker for my birthday on a website starts with the current date.

Do they think that I was born yesterday?

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

>!Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.!<

Everything you need to know about Australia

I REALLY hope these are true


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for stupid questions!)


\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\...

I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players…

The servers are currently down...

Want to know why this website is called reddit?

because, every time you read a post, you have already read it.

What do Amazon Prime and a fanfiction website have in common?

Free shipping!

What does a website for orphans look like?

Pretty empty, there’s not even a homepage.

Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

Grandma is like a website

You can't say no to cookies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quality assurance joke about sex (NSFW)

There was a quality assurance bug tester who was interested in getting pregnant. She read on a factual website that having sex without a condom will make you pregnant, so that's what she did. However, a month later, she was not pregnant.

Frustrated, she submitted a complaint to the website th...

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10 ISIS suicide bombers decided to blow up a building

"We must pick a building that will have a mass effect on western culture" the leader says. So they research all the popular websites they can find and have decided on the reddit headquarters.

"YES!!" Another exclaimed! "We can not only dismantle their social construct but we can all attack ...

How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

(Found this on a website)

Last night I visited a fetishist community website for the first time

Why are there so many dudes called Dom?

went to this website, it said 18+ only

So I invited all my friends.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A panda walks into a bar

He sits at the bar, and orders some food. The food comes, and he eats. Once he's done, he jumps up, pulls out 2 pistols, and shoots wildly around the bar. He then turns to leave.

The bartender says "Hey, what the hell is your problem?"

The panda says "I'm a panda, look it up!"
...

Do you know why China is such a great and loving country?

Because they have a very friendly and open minded government. All voices are heard and everyone is welcome , we are treated very well and our country is in a stable position. (Post this to a website to increase your social score and to increase international investment , remove this last part)

I want to start an online donation website for my cocaine and hookers habit.

I'm going to call it GoBlowMe

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Surely a robot can figure out how to tick a box on a website saying "I am not a robot""

I watched Terminator 2 and one of the fuckers flew a helicopter.

I think someone is trying to kill me, so I Googled him and when I got to his website my heart stopped

It wants to know my location!

Gubble-u Gubble-u Gubble-u Got com ...

... a great website for trainee ventriloquists.

I made a website for orphans as well.

But you need your parents’ permission before going online.

I made a website for Kamikaze pilots.

There's no landing page.

If you go to this website while using someone's phone you can see their entire search history even from private browsing

Would be a terrifying thing to read if it was true

I just realized why adult websites have a bunch of incest recently.

Everyone is clicking on 'Show more related videos'.

A high quality post on a website with active comment section

*Top Comment *
Thank you for the gold stranger

I am a server, and normally I do my job like I should. I handle workload like a charm, even though I rarely sleep.

So today I couldn't handle it anymore, and broke down. Today I crashed, and corrupted 57 GB worth of websites.

Unlike Buzzfeed.......

Which is complete trash, Reddit has proven time and time again to be the more environmentally friendly website as we recycle 90% of our own content.

My favourite joke: Now Hiring

A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."



The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...

What do you call a French website hosting multiple chat rooms?

A *chat*eau.

I got rich by creating an anonymous imageboard website.

I made a 4chan.

What did the US say to the EU?

451 Unavailable

We recognize you are attempting to access this website from a country belonging to the European Economic Area (EEA) including the EU which enforces the general data protection regulation(GDPR) and therefore access cannot be granted at this time.

A patient went to a doctor

A doctor accidentally prescribes him a laxative instead of a coughing syrup. - Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?” - The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.” - NOTE: A lot of creative work went into our website. Do not copy text wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

crappy pun

me: you know how sometimes caps lock locks you out of a website ,because you forgot to turn it off when typing the password
human society: ye...

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I ordered an extra large T-shirt from an online Roman website.

They sent me fucking forty regular.

A women stopped me in the coffee shop the other day claiming she met me through a vegetarian-only dating website...

but I had never met herbivore.

I've just signed up to the slimming world website.

Once I've logged in, it asked me to accept cookies.

I think it's a test.

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