A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.

His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"

"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about Blue...

I asked a French man if he played video games...

he said wii

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I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video...

He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.

What do you call a potato who posts videos online?

A You-*tuber*

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I found an Onlyfans filled with videos of girls slamming their butts together

It’s kinda weird, but I think they’re just trying to make ends meet

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron."

She was watching our wedding video again.

A teacher is talking about video games.

She asks, "does playing video game cause long term affects?"

A student replies "yes".

"How do you know?"

"I have a hunch."

I always get sad when I watch videos of gorillas using sign language to ask for food.

It's a shame there are so many deaf gorillas.

I'm working on a video game where you go back in time and kill Adam and Eve

it's going to be the first ever First Person Shooter.

My YouTube video with no audio just got taken down.

John Cage gave me a copyright strike.

Next January I will only be watching videos on 1080p

It's my new years resolution

What’s a fat person’s favorite video game?

Space Invaders

At first I wanted to break up with my girlfriend because she didn’t like to play video games...

It wasn’t really something to Fallout 4.

I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says "How to stop procrasinating”

I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

If Reddit was a video game, it'd be really broken and unbalanced

Because everyone would be OP

Hey Guys! I just watched a 5 minute video on the Dunning-Kreugar Effect.

So, I’m pretty much an expert now.

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My grandpa told me “All you kids do these days is play video games.”

“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his frien...

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Guys, did you know that I have a shetland pony who can sing?! I was going to record and share a video the other day but...

...he was a little hoarse.

My wife said she wants a divorce because I play too many video games.

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

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What does American economy and pornstar in stepsis videos has in common?

Well, both are getting fucked hard and daddy is fucking clueless.

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What's does a penis and a video game have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

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These days whenever I browse the most popular videos on Pornhub I have to ask myself...

What's this world cumming to?

So I've been watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare clips, but one video wouldn't load

There was a problem with the server

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What do you call a farmer who does sexual videos?

A cornstar

I think video games like Call of Duty set a terrible example for children.

There's no lag when you shoot someone in real life.

What do you say when you're in a video conference, and say something completely irrelevant?



Oh sorry: I was on moot.

I saw a video of a man burning a Washington Redskins Jersey.

You can tell it was authentic because of the smoke signals.

Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it.

Most of the time they both take way too long.

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

My friend just emailed me a compressed nsfw video

sigh... *unzips*

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Was very disappointed when I settled down for a good ......

Was very disappointed when I settled down for a good wank, as i discovered that all I could get was a dark video of a fat naked man sitting on his sofa with his cock in his hand.....

...turns out I had forgotten to turn the TV on.

Why is great to have garbage men as my video game teammates?

They are used to carrying trash.

Facebook keeps suggesting that I watch videos of former American Vice Presidents dancing.

All to do with the Al Gore rhythms, apparently.

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The greatest day of my life was

When I found my dad's porn in the back of the attic.

The worst day of my life was when I found my mom's porn in the back of that video rental store.

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PornHub now requires all visitors to watch at least 5 minutes of dwarf MILF content before accessing other videos.

That's the bare mini mum.

What’s a rap video and a good reddit post got in common?

Lots of cake.

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My internet was down so I rented a porno from the last video store in the country...

I was really excited to watch it but was disappointed to see that it was just a fat guy masturbating in the dark. And then I realized I forgot to turn the TV on.

What was the dyslexic kids favourite video game system?

Nintendo 46

What do a doctor's appointment and Reddit video have in common?

You wait 2 hours to see them for 2 minutes.

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The girl finally got her money for her sex toy video.

One could call it a ‘vibe check’

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Why did King Arthur participate in so many video conferences?

Because he likes to be on cam a lot.

Spelling counts

Waiting on a Zoom call to start, but were having technical issues. Client texted and said, "please bare with me." Thought it was an odd request, but she's the client. Eventually we got the video to work, but now I'm fired.

An antivaxxer mom comes home one day...

...to see (or not see, rather) her son, which would usually be playing video games in the living room.

After a couple of minutes of searching far and wide, she had never thought to check his room.

When she opened the door, she saw him silently crying with his face buried in his pillow....

A man with a speech impediment goes on a dating website..

This dating website has you make a short video for your profile to introduce yourself, so the man makes his video and says "Hi my name's Daniel and im Deaf"

The man successfully scores a date with a woman who happens to know sign language

That night he shows up to the date and to his d...

I was having trouble driving when I found a video of guy with no arms who was drifting around in a car like it was nothing. It really moved me and I decided if he can do it, so can I.

And I did do it! But there's still a part of me that misses my arms though.

Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage

What a complete waste of thyme

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How do you know you have reached quarantine insanity?

When you look at old photographs and videos and get pissed because nobody is wearing masks.

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The young couple next door are making sex videos during the lockdown

They just don't know it though...

What did the home-quarantined stand-up comedian say after he got a laugh from his video chat audience?

"Thanks, I'll be here all week!"

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Pornhub hired a guy who could come in 3.14 seconds

He would make for an amazing cream π video

I had an after-hours video conference with 16 colleagues last week.

Everyone was drinking and having a good time sharing stories and unwinding. We played never have I ever. One of my female coworkers asked if people had ever gone out without a bra on. As a man, I thought for a moment and raised my glass with the rest of my female colleagues.

They laughed.
...

If you play video games with your kids,

And you kill your kid in game. Is it considered spawn killing?

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Did you ever hear about the video game Hitler made while in prison?

He called meincraft.

Lame, I know.
If someone's done this one, let me know and I'll take it down.

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

Why are people praising Netflix and Youtube for promising to reduce video quality during the pandemic?

Reddit has been doing it for years already.

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

In 2019 if you were unemployed and stayed home all day playing video games, you were a lazy bum.

In 2020 this would make you a responsible adult.

Four dads are arguing, each dad claims to have the best son in the world.

The first dad says, "My son is the best because he is so rich, I only gave him a small loan of a million dollars and he ended up making four billion dollars from his multi-billion dollar hotel business. He has even appeared on many TV shows. He is so successful that he was elected to lead a country....

What do you call a quick video-conference at the Mazda factory?

A zoom-zoom zoom Zoom.

My ex-girlfriend got paid under the table for her work filming "creampie" adult videos. So I alerted the IRS.

They nailed her for unreported in-come.

My wife wants to do adult videos at a high elevation

She'll be camming around the mountain when she comes

A wife hears her husband shouting at the TV from upstairs

"Don't do it you idiot", "it's a trap", "Get outta there", "You fool" he keeps on shouting at the TV. The wife calls out to him "Hey what the hell you watching". The husband says, "Oh nothing I was just watching our wedding video.

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My wife is deaf and we worked out a nice system of signals for when we want to have sex.

If I want sex, I'll tap her on the butt once. If no sex, tap her twice. If she wants to have sex, she pulls my dick once. If she doesn't want to have sex, she pulls my dick 452 times.
Copied comment from u/TooShiftyForYou from r/videos

i made a video about the pandemic

But i am afraid to release it because it might go viral.

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I heard pornhub plant a tree for every 100 videos watched

I guess I’m gonna “single handedly” save the planet then

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What would be viagra's name if it was a video game

**MEGA MAN X**

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Little Johnny and his family are preparing for Christmas dinner.

Johnny goes upstairs to his brothers room while he’s playing video games. His brother gets a kill and yells “Yeah, eat that bitch!”
Little Johnny asks, “Hey bro, what does that word mean?”
His brother looks around hurriedly and replies “It means uh...a lovely lady.”

Little Johnny goe...

Boo me all you like, I just made it up.

I was at the local library trying to find a specific sound for my video project; that of a displeased audience. I was repeatedly listening to a variety of samples through the miniature speakers on the desk.

Unbeknownst to me, a lady who was sat at the desk in the next cubicle was growing irr...

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A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi.

So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies an...

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(Nsfw)Went to pornhub the other day there was a lot of videos titled "bbc destroys teen"...

I don't know why the British Broadcasting Corporation is destroying the lives of teens..but I for one think it shows lack of journalistic integrity.

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

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I can't watch erotic law enforcement videos without snacks.

I need popcorn for my cop porn.

Where do King James Version Only churches post videos of their sermon?

ThouTube

I found this video that gives you coronavirus when you watch it.

It went viral.

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My wife told me I had a small penis, so I said it was big enough to hurt her.

"There isn't a woman in the world that would be hurt by that thing." She said.

I then showed her a video of me fucking her sister.

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Have you ever had a leg cramp ruin sex?

I'm sitting on the chair when my cramps up and I Yelp so loud that my wife and her boyfriend stop having sex. They look at me and say "how long have you been there?" And I say "The whole time! I'm the one making this video."

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