What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?

College

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"

"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard ...

My friend can’t decide what video game system to get for Christmas ...

... Nobody can console him.

My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games

What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4

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A man is shopping at an adult video store when the cashier tells him, "If you're looking for something extra, check out the room in the back..."

Curious, the man heads to the back of the store and finds a long hallway lined with gloryholes. As soon as he walks in, he hears seductive coos and beckoning comments from behind each wall. Peering into some of the holes, he is surprised to see gorgeous women from all around the world waiting on the...

Why did the CSI team get called to the set of the Purple Rain video shoot.

They needed to dust for Prince.

What do online video games and sonnets have in common?

Both end in a GG.

Why do you watch people play video games that you could play yourself?

Said the sports fan.

My mom is like a YouTube apology video

She never admits she’s wrong

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What is Hitler's video-game called?

Mein Craft.

What does a spider use to make videos?

A webcam.

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Wrote this in r/videos. It made me laugh. Who Want To Be A Millionaire America version.

WWTBAM person: "Oh, you won a million dollars? Let me just get that for you."

Winner: "Thanks."

WWTBAM person: "Ok. First we take a tax cut of 25%."

Winner: "Wait, what?"

WWTBAM person: "Next we're going to seperate it into 20."

Winner: "Hold on a second, what are ...

A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the ...

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I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video...

He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.

I'm gonna watch a video on how to stop procrastination....

Nvm, I'll watch it tomorrow.

I don't understand why Youtube demonetized my videos.

It just makes no cents.

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What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft

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For a school video project, I was partnered with the class bitch

Wanting it to be finished as soon as possible, I told her that I would do most of the project as long as she would stay out of my way. I then realized that my computer was undergoing repairs so I asked her if she had any audio editing software. And let me tell you,


This bitch had the Auda...

I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!

wait....

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Porn videos does not reflect reality

It gives a warped perception of how quickly the plumber will come to your house.

There was a video caught on camera of a man who actually ate 4 of his toes

Needless to say, it was very shaky Footage.

I am in the hospital because my cousin’s brother swallowed a 16gb memory card and he is singing all songs in it

Were hoping it doesn't reach video folder...

Those kpop stans just keep posting those dance videos on twitter and blasting them in my ears in public

Now its over i think i might have gotten btsd

So there is this video where they say people hate cats..

It's an informative dogumentary.

Is it just me, or does the hero of a-ha's Take On Me video...

...seem kinda sketchy?

What's a fisherman's favorite video game?

COD

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

What’s Jesus’s favorite video game?

Doesn’t matter… As long as it’s cross-play

What do you get when you put clickbait into a video game company?

EA

I asked a French man if he played video games...

he said wii

I always get sad when I watch videos of gorillas using sign language to ask for food.

It's a shame there are so many deaf gorillas.

What do you call a potato who posts videos online?

A You-*tuber*

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My girlfriend is mad because I told her I wanted to show our love to the world

She found it adorable at first but now wants me to remove that video from pornhub.

There's a new website that hosts videos of people playing brass instruments.

YouTuba.

I just watched a video about fancy drills

It was pretty boring

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron."

She was watching our wedding video again.

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I found an Onlyfans filled with videos of girls slamming their butts together

It’s kinda weird, but I think they’re just trying to make ends meet

What does mainstream media and viral video have in common?

It's all staged.

LPT: Never watch a how-to video.

Instead, go directly to the comments and find the guy who knows how to do it better.

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My grandpa told me “All you kids do these days is play video games.”

“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his frien...

I'm working on a video game where you go back in time and kill Adam and Eve

it's going to be the first ever First Person Shooter.

If Reddit was a video game, it'd be really broken and unbalanced

Because everyone would be OP

Next January I will only be watching videos on 1080p

It's my new years resolution

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During an Intense video game session, I went and explained in detail about how I'm going to f*ck the balls out of my opponent's mom!

My son won't stop crying now

Why was the Marine kicked out of the adult video store?

Dishonorable discharge

My YouTube video with no audio just got taken down.

John Cage gave me a copyright strike.

Is some one dear to you having a suspected stroke, remember, think F.A.S.T.

F. Get on Facebook immediately and search the symptoms from a sympathetic audience.

A. Ask for their thoughts and prayers, this will generate lots of likes.

S. Search for the symptoms on Google or look for helpful YouTube videos.

T. Try a selection of oils, scented candles, he...

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

Spelling matters!

I was waiting on a Zoom call to start, but client was having technical issues. The client texted and said, "please bare with me." Thought it was an odd request, but he's the client.

Eventually we got the video to work, but now I'm fired.

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Guys, did you know that I have a shetland pony who can sing?! I was going to record and share a video the other day but...

...he was a little hoarse.

Hey Guys! I just watched a 5 minute video on the Dunning-Kreugar Effect.

So, I’m pretty much an expert now.

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What's does a penis and a video game have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What did the video do when it felt sleepy?

It got embedded.

I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says "How to stop procrasinating”

I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later

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What does American economy and pornstar in stepsis videos has in common?

Well, both are getting fucked hard and daddy is fucking clueless.

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What do you call a farmer who does sexual videos?

A cornstar

My friend just emailed me a compressed nsfw video

sigh... *unzips*

I walked into my room to find my girlfriend watching a video.

"Hey baby, what are you watching?", I ask.

"Ted talks", she mumbles softly.

"Really?", I say. "That's so awesome! What's your favorite talk? Mine is---"

"Baby, I said 'Tik toks'..."

I think video games like Call of Duty set a terrible example for children.

There's no lag when you shoot someone in real life.

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

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These days whenever I browse the most popular videos on Pornhub I have to ask myself...

What's this world cumming to?

One time I was an ESOL instructor...

For those who don’t know, ESOL indicates that English is a second or foreign language. In my class, I had a student who barely spoke English, and when I mean barely spoke, I mean he had difficulties with basic colours.

So during my office hours, the student comes to my office for some extra h...

What do you say when you're in a video conference, and say something completely irrelevant?



Oh sorry: I was on moot.

Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it.

Most of the time they both take way too long.

So I've been watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare clips, but one video wouldn't load

There was a problem with the server

Why is great to have garbage men as my video game teammates?

They are used to carrying trash.

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PornHub now requires all visitors to watch at least 5 minutes of dwarf MILF content before accessing other videos.

That's the bare mini mum.

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

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I like recording myself drinking tea whilst having kinky sex with a woman...

...I call the video "50 shades of Earl Grey"

People are forever going on about how video games are an unhealthy influence on the young.

But I grew up in the 1980s when all we had was Pacman and it's not like we spent all our time running around in the dark munching pills to weird repetitive music!

Facebook keeps suggesting that I watch videos of former American Vice Presidents dancing.

All to do with the Al Gore rhythms, apparently.

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

What’s a rap video and a good reddit post got in common?

Lots of cake.

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My internet was down so I rented a porno from the last video store in the country...

I was really excited to watch it but was disappointed to see that it was just a fat guy masturbating in the dark. And then I realized I forgot to turn the TV on.

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All of Tom’s exams were cancelled due to coronavirus

Due to this, the university decided all the grades would be decided by teachers. Tom got on with his teacher Mr Jones, and thought he would get an A or a B comfortably, as long as he did his work.

He told his dad this, and his dad, jumping the gun, booked a meal out at a fancy restaurant to ...

What do a doctor's appointment and Reddit video have in common?

You wait 2 hours to see them for 2 minutes.

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Why did King Arthur participate in so many video conferences?

Because he likes to be on cam a lot.

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The greatest day of my life was

When I found my dad's porn in the back of the attic.

The worst day of my life was when I found my mom's porn in the back of that video rental store.

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The girl finally got her money for her sex toy video.

One could call it a ‘vibe check’

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Was very disappointed when I settled down for a good ......

Was very disappointed when I settled down for a good wank, as i discovered that all I could get was a dark video of a fat naked man sitting on his sofa with his cock in his hand.....

...turns out I had forgotten to turn the TV on.

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

Whenever my young son cries too much,

I show him his birth video in reverse and telling him that's what happens to kids who don't stop crying.

I was having trouble driving when I found a video of guy with no arms who was drifting around in a car like it was nothing. It really moved me and I decided if he can do it, so can I.

And I did do it! But there's still a part of me that misses my arms though.

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The young couple next door are making sex videos during the lockdown

They just don't know it though...

Just watched a 5-minute video of some guy throwing herbs in the garbage

What a complete waste of thyme

I had an after-hours video conference with 16 colleagues last week.

Everyone was drinking and having a good time sharing stories and unwinding. We played never have I ever. One of my female coworkers asked if people had ever gone out without a bra on. As a man, I thought for a moment and raised my glass with the rest of my female colleagues.

They laughed.
...

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