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My grandpa told me, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?

College

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."

"...

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Pornhub now has a category for Coronavirus videos

It's for sick fucks.

"Zoom meetings" is a stupid name, and it's branded. We should call it a bit more casual like "coworker video chat"...

Or something shorter, like "co-vid".

A joke I found on the comments section of a youtube video.

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to...

What's prince zukos favorite video game?

Dishonored

I made a video about the symbiotic relationships between fungus and algae

Don't forget to lichen subscribe!

What do you call adult-only Chess videos?

Pawn

My son video called me this morning.

He said “Dad, couldn’t you have given me a better name than video?”

My dumbass brother made a YouTube video by firing dad's taser at the camera.

What happened next will shock you.

What do you call a video of a duck?

A ducktape

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

I can only see Jane's Addiction videos on YouTube if I stare straight at them

I must've lost my PerryFerrell vision

Did you see that viral Indian dance video?

They’ve got some Sikh moves!

What do you call a potato that makes videos for the internet?

A YouTUBER.

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This morning my daughter asked if she could watch titty videos.

Did you know that sometimes little kids make a t sound when they mean to make a k sound?

Anyway I gotta go I'm in a bunch of trouble.

Hey, have you heard of the person who got dumped over playing too much video games?

That's such a trivial thing to Fallout 4.

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Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

Why was princess Zelda sad after watching a bunch of YouTube videos?

She couldn't find the link in the description.

How do you identify a Christian extremist YouTube video without watching it?

It has 665 likes.

I just downloaded Luis Suarez best moments video

It was only three megabytes

Asked my French friend if he played any video games

He said "wii"

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How does a dog stop a video?

By hitting the paws button!

My ex wife kept the only copy of our wedding video.

I can’t see myself getting married again.

I told a Hispanic man that I was trying to come up with a term that would describe low resolution video

He suggested “poor k”.

I hate when people blame video games for mass shooting

Like what am I gonna do shoot up the school with a copy of doom

How do you call the random eye movement caused by prolonged video gaming?

A Nintendo Twitch

Two Philosophers and a YouTuber Meet in the Dead of Night to Discuss their Darkest Secrets

They begin by releasing their darkest secrets in exchange for more secrets. After each of them let out their darkest secrets, the YouTuber asks for a break.

The philosophers tell him that he can take a break, so the YouTuber wanders off while the philosophers remain at the table. With just th...

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I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video...

He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.

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A man is shopping at an adult video store when the cashier tells him, "If you're looking for something extra, check out the room in the back..."

Curious, the man heads to the back of the store and finds a long hallway lined with gloryholes. As soon as he walks in, he hears seductive coos and beckoning comments from behind each wall. Peering into some of the holes, he is surprised to see gorgeous women from all around the world waiting on the...

Australian Grandmaster wins big chess tournament, "so would you like the prize money as cash or..?" "check, mate"

Hey so I won a college chess tournament and are about to go into an Instagram live video with a talkative person(the host,lady) and the college chess coach "Dan" (friend of mine,older) . So what are some jokes I can do?

I'm thinking of..

Host:"so you've played a lot of chess huh?"
...

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons

Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage

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Explaining politics

From a TikTok video (maker unknown, but props to him!):

I went up to my dad and said, "Dad, can I ask you a question? It's for a school project."

My dad said, "For sure son, what's the question?"

I said, "Dad, what is politics?"

My dad said, "Well, let's use our home as a...

Do you hear about the man who died playing an erotic video game?

He had his final fantasy.

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Ok r/askreddit if you had to give up video games or blow jobs for the rest of your life what would you choose?

Edit: Yea guys I'd pick blow jobs too, they hurt my jaw

With all the video content available these days...

It's hard to believe that for five whole years we came back to watch Tattoo yell "the plane, the plane."

My friend can’t decide what video game system to get for Christmas ...

... Nobody can console him.

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I watch ghost videos whenever i take a poo

They scare the shit out of me

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife

The husband wanted more than a written report , he wanted video of his wife's activities . A week later , the detective returned with a video . They sat down together to watch it
Although the quality was less than professional , the husband saw his wife meeting another man ! He saw the two of...

What do you call two sick people on a video call together?

Covid

How did you know the deaf man was dead via video call?

When I asked if he was okay, he showed no sign of life.

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With the arrest for child pornography yesterday, at least Josh Duggar will be remembered for 19 kids and counting...

For the tv show he made in the past, and coincidentally the number of videos found so far on his hard drive.

Why do you watch people play video games that you could play yourself?

Said the sports fan.

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What is Hitler's video-game called?

Mein Craft.

What do online video games and sonnets have in common?

Both end in a GG.

Why did the CSI team get called to the set of the Purple Rain video shoot.

They needed to dust for Prince.

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What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft

Just watched this amazing video on camping.

It’s in tents.

I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!

wait....

My mom is like a YouTube apology video

She never admits she’s wrong

A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer.

Don't go," he yelled at the screen. "Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!"

His wife called from the kitchen, "What on earth are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

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Porn videos does not reflect reality

It gives a warped perception of how quickly the plumber will come to your house.

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

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Wrote this in r/videos. It made me laugh. Who Want To Be A Millionaire America version.

WWTBAM person: "Oh, you won a million dollars? Let me just get that for you."

Winner: "Thanks."

WWTBAM person: "Ok. First we take a tax cut of 25%."

Winner: "Wait, what?"

WWTBAM person: "Next we're going to seperate it into 20."

Winner: "Hold on a second, what are ...

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For a school video project, I was partnered with the class bitch

Wanting it to be finished as soon as possible, I told her that I would do most of the project as long as she would stay out of my way. I then realized that my computer was undergoing repairs so I asked her if she had any audio editing software. And let me tell you,


This bitch had the Auda...

I'm gonna watch a video on how to stop procrastination....

Nvm, I'll watch it tomorrow.

There was a video caught on camera of a man who actually ate 4 of his toes

Needless to say, it was very shaky Footage.

Is it just me, or does the hero of a-ha's Take On Me video...

...seem kinda sketchy?

If Reddit was a video game, it'd be really broken and unbalanced

Because everyone would be OP

I don't understand why Youtube demonetized my videos.

It just makes no cents.

A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the ...

A baby Camel asks his Mother

"Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?"

The mother replies, "Well son when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."

"Bloody Brilliant!" Says the baby camel.

A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great ...

What did the necromancer say at the funeral

Hi there
I'm Bob the necromancer and today I am going to be doing a unboxing video

I always get sad when I watch videos of gorillas using sign language to ask for food.

It's a shame there are so many deaf gorillas.

What’s Jesus’s favorite video game?

Doesn’t matter… As long as it’s cross-play

Just A Funny Nothing else

What’s a video game title you can also call an anti-vax
Kid?



Half-Life

My friend just emailed me a compressed nsfw video

sigh... *unzips*

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron."

She was watching our wedding video again.

What do you call a potato who posts videos online?

A You-*tuber*

So there is this video where they say people hate cats..

It's an informative dogumentary.

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

Really, Jen?

My sister, Jennifer, started a vlog where she could be 100% herself. She called it “Really Jen”. She recently went hiking and was doing a video about group of ticks she came across in the woods which she swore were in a polyamorous relationship together, if you can believe it.

Anyway, she ask...

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

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What's does a penis and a video game have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

A collection of math jokes

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude


---------------/


An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

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What do you call a farmer who does sexual videos?

A cornstar

I'm working on a video game where you go back in time and kill Adam and Eve

it's going to be the first ever First Person Shooter.

Next January I will only be watching videos on 1080p

It's my new years resolution

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I found an Onlyfans filled with videos of girls slamming their butts together

It’s kinda weird, but I think they’re just trying to make ends meet

There's a new website that hosts videos of people playing brass instruments.

YouTuba.

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

I think video games like Call of Duty set a terrible example for children.

There's no lag when you shoot someone in real life.

I just watched a video about fancy drills

It was pretty boring

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Guys, did you know that I have a shetland pony who can sing?! I was going to record and share a video the other day but...

...he was a little hoarse.

LPT: Never watch a how-to video.

Instead, go directly to the comments and find the guy who knows how to do it better.

What does mainstream media and viral video have in common?

It's all staged.

Hey Guys! I just watched a 5 minute video on the Dunning-Kreugar Effect.

So, I’m pretty much an expert now.

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Tom and Yuu's love story

Tom Wake and Yuu Watanabe met in Japan while Tom was on a business trip. Ironically, Tom didn't want to take the job, but he was the only one fluent in Japanese, so he reluctantly went on the trip. Usually, deals like these took place over video conferences, but the company's client insisted on meet...

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

On the eve of Joe Biden's inauguration, prominent members of the previous Democrat administrations have a Zoom call to toast the end of the Trump presidency.

Among other topics, conversation turns to Amazon and Google's targeted marketing and the methods they employ. To lighten the mood, Bill Clinton suggests that he and his former vice-president have an impromptu jam session for everyone on saxophone and bongos respectively, something they secretly did ...

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