A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."

"...

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Pornhub now has a category for Coronavirus videos

It's for sick fucks.

What's the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?

University

Asked my French friend if he played any video games

He said "wii"

I told a Hispanic man that I was trying to come up with a term that would describe low resolution video

He suggested “poor k”.

My ex wife kept the only copy of our wedding video.

I can’t see myself getting married again.

What is Owen Wilson's favorite video game?

Wow.

TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons

Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage

With all the video content available these days...

It's hard to believe that for five whole years we came back to watch Tattoo yell "the plane, the plane."

I need help with this new video I'm making

I want you to say addicted after I finish a phrase.

-Someone who takes to much drugs

-Addicted

-Someone who drinks too much alcohol

-Addicted

-Someone who smokes many cigarettes

-Addicted

-What landed in your mouth this morning?

-Addicted

Once I finished a video game about a man and a kid with a flying house without even playing it

I ended up doing nothing

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

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I watch ghost videos whenever i take a poo

They scare the shit out of me

Do you hear about the man who died playing an erotic video game?

He had his final fantasy.

What's a COVID denier's favorite video game?

Space Invaders.

What do you call two sick people on a video call together?

Covid

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A man is shopping at an adult video store when the cashier tells him, "If you're looking for something extra, check out the room in the back..."

Curious, the man heads to the back of the store and finds a long hallway lined with gloryholes. As soon as he walks in, he hears seductive coos and beckoning comments from behind each wall. Peering into some of the holes, he is surprised to see gorgeous women from all around the world waiting on the...

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Ok r/askreddit if you had to give up video games or blow jobs for the rest of your life what would you choose?

Edit: Yea guys I'd pick blow jobs too, they hurt my jaw

My friend can’t decide what video game system to get for Christmas ...

... Nobody can console him.

How did you know the deaf man was dead via video call?

When I asked if he was okay, he showed no sign of life.

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I told my boyfriend we could watch a porn for his birthday and do everything that we saw in the video...

He was super psyched, until I fucked the pizza guy.

My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games

What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4

A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer.

Don't go," he yelled at the screen. "Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!"

His wife called from the kitchen, "What on earth are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

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How do you get your wife to scream during sex?

Video call her when you're banging your girlfriend

Why do you watch people play video games that you could play yourself?

Said the sports fan.

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

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What is Hitler's video-game called?

Mein Craft.

What do online video games and sonnets have in common?

Both end in a GG.

Why did the CSI team get called to the set of the Purple Rain video shoot.

They needed to dust for Prince.

Just watched this amazing video on camping.

It’s in tents.

Just A Funny Nothing else

What’s a video game title you can also call an anti-vax
Kid?



Half-Life

My mom is like a YouTube apology video

She never admits she’s wrong

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What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft

Really, Jen?

My sister, Jennifer, started a vlog where she could be 100% herself. She called it “Really Jen”. She recently went hiking and was doing a video about group of ticks she came across in the woods which she swore were in a polyamorous relationship together, if you can believe it.

Anyway, she ask...

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Wrote this in r/videos. It made me laugh. Who Want To Be A Millionaire America version.

WWTBAM person: "Oh, you won a million dollars? Let me just get that for you."

Winner: "Thanks."

WWTBAM person: "Ok. First we take a tax cut of 25%."

Winner: "Wait, what?"

WWTBAM person: "Next we're going to seperate it into 20."

Winner: "Hold on a second, what are ...

I'm gonna watch a video on how to stop procrastination....

Nvm, I'll watch it tomorrow.

A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the ...

I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!

wait....

I don't understand why Youtube demonetized my videos.

It just makes no cents.

Turns out having Rick Astley work at a video rental shop is a bad idea.

We had a lot of complaints of him never giving anyone Up.

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Porn videos does not reflect reality

It gives a warped perception of how quickly the plumber will come to your house.

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For a school video project, I was partnered with the class bitch

Wanting it to be finished as soon as possible, I told her that I would do most of the project as long as she would stay out of my way. I then realized that my computer was undergoing repairs so I asked her if she had any audio editing software. And let me tell you,


This bitch had the Auda...

There was a video caught on camera of a man who actually ate 4 of his toes

Needless to say, it was very shaky Footage.

Is it just me, or does the hero of a-ha's Take On Me video...

...seem kinda sketchy?

A collection of math jokes

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude


---------------/


An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

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Tom and Yuu's love story

Tom Wake and Yuu Watanabe met in Japan while Tom was on a business trip. Ironically, Tom didn't want to take the job, but he was the only one fluent in Japanese, so he reluctantly went on the trip. Usually, deals like these took place over video conferences, but the company's client insisted on meet...

I got my first 30 kill streak!

Friend: Great job! What game were you playing?

Me: Oh, I don’t play video games

What do you get when you put clickbait into a video game company?

EA

On the eve of Joe Biden's inauguration, prominent members of the previous Democrat administrations have a Zoom call to toast the end of the Trump presidency.

Among other topics, conversation turns to Amazon and Google's targeted marketing and the methods they employ. To lighten the mood, Bill Clinton suggests that he and his former vice-president have an impromptu jam session for everyone on saxophone and bongos respectively, something they secretly did ...

If Reddit was a video game, it'd be really broken and unbalanced

Because everyone would be OP

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

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My grandpa told me “All you kids do these days is play video games.”

“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his frien...

What do you call a potato who posts videos online?

A You-*tuber*

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron."

She was watching our wedding video again.

So there is this video where they say people hate cats..

It's an informative dogumentary.

I always get sad when I watch videos of gorillas using sign language to ask for food.

It's a shame there are so many deaf gorillas.

There's a new website that hosts videos of people playing brass instruments.

YouTuba.

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I found an Onlyfans filled with videos of girls slamming their butts together

It’s kinda weird, but I think they’re just trying to make ends meet

Encouraging a sick relative

The pandemic swept over the land and finally affected this one small town and one family in particular. Little Billy's beloved grandfather fell sick and had to be taken to the hospital. The family checked in with him virtually several times a week, and Billy's mother coached him on what to say duri...

I'm working on a video game where you go back in time and kill Adam and Eve

it's going to be the first ever First Person Shooter.

I just watched a video about fancy drills

It was pretty boring

My friend just emailed me a compressed nsfw video

sigh... *unzips*

I am in the hospital because my cousin’s brother swallowed a 16gb memory card and he is singing all songs in it

Were hoping it doesn't reach video folder...

Next January I will only be watching videos on 1080p

It's my new years resolution

LPT: Never watch a how-to video.

Instead, go directly to the comments and find the guy who knows how to do it better.

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Fall of Duty

I get why the main story of a video game is called the campaign. It promises everything in the advertisements, takes money up front, and within the first 40 hours I'm ready to replace it

What does mainstream media and viral video have in common?

It's all staged.

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A new drink has become the latest craze.

Bars are now serving the Dickens Cider, a popular drink among many women.
It started gaining popularity when someone decided to serve it warm, greatly improving its taste, with posts all over social media about how good it is, one video in particular having a lady drink 2 whole pints in one go!...

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What's does a penis and a video game have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

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What do you call a farmer who does sexual videos?

A cornstar

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Guys, did you know that I have a shetland pony who can sing?! I was going to record and share a video the other day but...

...he was a little hoarse.

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During an Intense video game session, I went and explained in detail about how I'm going to f*ck the balls out of my opponent's mom!

My son won't stop crying now

Hey Guys! I just watched a 5 minute video on the Dunning-Kreugar Effect.

So, I’m pretty much an expert now.

My YouTube video with no audio just got taken down.

John Cage gave me a copyright strike.

Why was the Marine kicked out of the adult video store?

Dishonorable discharge

I think video games like Call of Duty set a terrible example for children.

There's no lag when you shoot someone in real life.

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

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What does American economy and pornstar in stepsis videos has in common?

Well, both are getting fucked hard and daddy is fucking clueless.

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says "How to stop procrasinating”

I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later

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My girlfriend is mad because I told her I wanted to show our love to the world

She found it adorable at first but now wants me to remove that video from pornhub.

Why is great to have garbage men as my video game teammates?

They are used to carrying trash.

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PornHub now requires all visitors to watch at least 5 minutes of dwarf MILF content before accessing other videos.

That's the bare mini mum.

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These days whenever I browse the most popular videos on Pornhub I have to ask myself...

What's this world cumming to?

Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it.

Most of the time they both take way too long.

What do you say when you're in a video conference, and say something completely irrelevant?



Oh sorry: I was on moot.

Video game testing is like prostitution

Somedays it can be great and just like the real thing, but most days it's a huge pain in the ass

So I've been watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare clips, but one video wouldn't load

There was a problem with the server

Spelling matters!

I was waiting on a Zoom call to start, but client was having technical issues. The client texted and said, "please bare with me." Thought it was an odd request, but he's the client.

Eventually we got the video to work, but now I'm fired.

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

Is some one dear to you having a suspected stroke, remember, think F.A.S.T.

F. Get on Facebook immediately and search the symptoms from a sympathetic audience.

A. Ask for their thoughts and prayers, this will generate lots of likes.

S. Search for the symptoms on Google or look for helpful YouTube videos.

T. Try a selection of oils, scented candles, he...

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