My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games

What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4

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I watched a porn video all the way to the end

and I came to the conclusion.

My ex-girlfriend got paid under the table for her work filming "creampie" adult videos. So I alerted the IRS.

They nailed her for unreported in-come.

I asked a French man if he played video games

He said wii

I found this video that gives you coronavirus when you watch it.

It went viral.

I can’t concentrate while watching my videos for homework

I think it’s because of 80hd

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(Nsfw)Went to pornhub the other day there was a lot of videos titled "bbc destroys teen"...

I don't know why the British Broadcasting Corporation is destroying the lives of teens..but I for one think it shows lack of journalistic integrity.

What’s Owen Wilson’s favorite video game?

WoW.

I beat my kids when we play my old video games.

Sometimes I win at the games, too.

I made a music video about a pandemic in China.

It went viral overnight

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What do you call a video of two toads having sex?

Frogspawn.

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

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What was Hitler's favourite video game?

Meincraft

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My grandpa told me “All you kids do these days is play video games.”

“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his frien...

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage

I made a YouTube video about the violence I endured as a writer on board a U-boat

Just hit subscribe.

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I heard pornhub plant a tree for every 100 videos watched

I guess I’m gonna “single handedly” save the planet then

The Epstein suicide video that recently went missing

Didn’t lose itself.

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Anyone else watch the instructional video on how to take a good dump?

Best shit I've ever seen

HUSBAND: (watching a video) Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes! No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!

WIFE: Honey, why you so mad? What are you watching?

HUSBAND: Our wedding ceremony.

I complained to my local video rental store because they only have one movie to rent.

They said, take IT or leave IT.

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Did you see the video of a man masturbating into a crustacean?

That's him in a nutshell.

In a recent video, Pewdiepie asked if there was fortnite in Iran

No, there isn’t.
They can play outside

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I always have exactly 8 Strength in video games

Because I'm not gay.

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

Jeffery Epstein likes his video games like he likes his suicides

Co-op

I saw my wife slightly drunk, yelling at the TV :”Don’t go in the church, you moron”

She’s watching our wedding video again

Why are Boy Scouts annoying to play video games with?

Because they’re good at camping!

My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead

He calls it *Nyetflix*

I will post later

I am in hospital, cause my cousin brother swallowed a 128 GB SD card and he is singing all the songs in it I hope he doesn't reach the videos folder

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What's Hitler's favorite video game?

Mein Kraft

I love Valentines Day. The bottle of wine. The Heart-Shaped Ice Cream Cake...

Taking them home and eating them alone while crying and watching youtube videos.

Good times.

Death Stranding is not a video game...

it's a Hideo game

Why do garbagemen make great video game teammates?

Because they're used to carrying trash

I met a Sikh guy ounce

He was pretty strange, he showed me this video of a car crash and was laughing at it.

He had a pretty Sikh sense of humor

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A jealous husband hired a detective to keep a watch on his wife.

The husband wanted more than a written report—he wanted a video of his wife’s activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man!
He saw the two ...

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A horse at a barn sees a music video...

...and decides he wants to play the guitar so he calls a local music shop: "Hey, I'm a horse but I want to play the guitar. Do you think you can help me?" Shop owner replies: "Sure, come on over, we'll get you a guitar and teach you how to play it." So the horse spends weeks and weeks learning how t...

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So a lawyer walks on a plane and sits in the aisle seat beside two doctors...

He takes his shoes off and gets comfy in his seat. A little while after takeoff one of the doctors says “excuse me, would you mind if I get up to get a coke?” The lawyer responds “oh, no problem. In fact, I’ll just go and get it for you!” While he’s at the front of the plane, the doctor spits in hi...

A wife hears her husband yelling from the living room:

“Don’t go in there!!” “Don’t do it!!” “Get out of there, you idiot!”

She runs to see what’s the matter— “Are you watching those darn horror movies again?” She asks.

“No, I’m watching the video from our wedding.”

China recently tried to gain favor with the rest of the world by releasing a video of all their native bears, standing in a big circle, to show their repopulation and conservation efforts. Some people thought it was great.

I think it was just panda ring.

I'm working on a Yosemite Sam video game...

But it has a lot of Bugs.

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My neighbors started makes sex videos.

They just don't know it yet.

If life was a video game...

...Id return it right away

I'm planning on making an application that randomly closes the video game you are playing and opens a different one...

It's going to be a game changer....

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A guy goes to a therapist

Patient: I think I have a problem. I don't want to have sex with my wife anymore. Only thing I can get off to is porn.

Therapist: Have you tried to stop watching porn for awhile?

Patient: Yes. I've tried everything. I keep going back to porn. It just scratches my itch that real sex can...

People playing video games get so upset when it says "you can't go any further."

Geez, people, it's not the end of the world.

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TV ad for Benson's Nails

Benson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Benson's Nails.

"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with an ad."

A week goes by and the marketing execut...

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A guy in a wheelchair asked me why I watch people play video games instead of playing them myself.

I looked at him and asked “Why the fuck are you wearing shoes?”

Video

Did a video of my hubby playing the piano with his toes... Great footage...

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[Not the Same one] A sheep and a snake roll down a hill inside a drum

Ba dum tss ba dum tss ba tss tss dum



P.S. i know this is a shitty take on the sound, but you hear it at the start of the video.

Mr. Waetherman's tips to combating boredom.

Mr. and Mrs. Weatherman are retired. Mrs. Weatherman insists that Mr. Weatherman go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Weatherman loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store:


Dear Mrs. Weatherman, Ov...

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A young man goes to confession

He says "Father, I have sinned."

The priest asks him "Tell me son, what have you done?"

The young man admits "I've just cheated on my girlfriend"

Priest "Oh, son, that's not good, but we all stray from God's path occasionally"

"But Father, that's not the worst of it. They...

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What do you call a sports themed blowjob pornagraphic video?

Soccer

What video streaming service do Russians use?

Niet-flix

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?

It was hard to port

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It's a good thing technology can't unblur images and video

Because if it could, Japanese porn stars would clearly be fucked

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I was in the toilet when my friend sent me a porn video

I played it, no sound, I increased the volume to the highest still no sound, so I didn't bother.

I watched it for about 8 minutes before I remembered, my phone was connected to the Bluetooth player in the living room with my family and our guests are waiting for me.

I've been in the to...

Bill Gates wanted to make a new friend.

He logged into his computer and found some strangers who seemed nice, so he sent them some funny pictures and told him a little about himself. For days, his posts went nowhere. He was never getting any responses, so he decided to send some videos instead, thinking people just didn't believe it was h...

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A man find himself feeling really, really, very horny but also short on money.

Nevertheless, he heads to his local bordello in search of some relief.

He walks in, goes to the nice lady at the front desk, and slaps a $5 dollar bill on the counter. "Lady, this is all the money I got, but I really need some satisfaction, if you get my meaning. What can you do for me?...

My mom asked me how I can have fun playing video games all the time...

I said, "They're actually designed that way."

Stop blaming the video games for violence.

Some of you played Mortal Kombat your whole lives and never learned how to finish her.

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Roman porn videos are like

Vidi, Vini, Vini

Translation " I saw, I came, I came"

How do Pirates relax at night?

They watch ASMARRGHH videos

There is no link between violence and video games...

But there is a link between violence and lag.

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Pornhub is now donating money to bee preservation for every video you watch on their new site...

I guess I’m gonna go single-handedly save the bees!

Where do sheep go to watch funny videos?

EweTube

One day a horse is watching a music video [Long]

One day a horse is watching a music video and decides that he himself, wants to make a music video.



In preparation, he goes to the phone book and looks up a local music teacher. He calls him up and says


"Hey, I saw that you teach musical instruments, and I really want to ...

The day after violent video games became illegal...

...a school was flooded with lava in the world's first mass griefing.

I was watching a YouTube video about metal fasteners.

It was riveting.

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

A journalist asked Tim Cook why iPhones are so expensive

"Well", said Tim Cook, "that's because the iPhone replaces a whole bunch of devices. A phone, a camera, a watch, a music player, a video player, a PDA, a voice recorder, a GPS navigator, a flashlight, a calculator, a portable gaming console, and many other things. Surely, a high price is worth payin...

Knew this youtube channel that was run by a necromancer

He mostly does unboxing videos.

Tried to get video of Chuck Norris kicking a cap off a bottle.

But the cap fled in terror before it happened.

Obsolete joke; I went into the video store the other day, I asked if I could rent Batman Forever?

They said “No! But you can have it for three nights!”

If you give someone a video copy of the bad news bears...

You are the bearer of the bad new bears.

I was going to make a pretty decent unboxing video today

However it’s against the rules to film in a cemetery...

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!

My roommate was playing a video game last night and when he died he completely smashed his keyboard...

yeah, he definitely lost Control.

A Male kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a scotch and starts talking about the good old days when nobody was on their phones, when video games were for the rich, and the ozone layer was whole.

“Ok boomer”

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I had sex with a vegan and didn't know she recorded it

Until I found the video on QuornHub

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