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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mo...

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My wife is yelling at me for having a boner at her mothers funeral

My response, “I can’t help it, it’s mourning wood”

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A big trip to the mountains with married women and their mothers-in-law was organized. They would go there by separate busses (the women in one bus and the mothers-in-law in another).

During the trip to the mountains, the bus carrying the mothers-in-law had a flat tire. Suddenly the bus driver lost control and the bus fell off the mountain, at least a couple thousand meters downhill. No chance anyone in that bus survived it. Obviously all of the women started cheering up, startin...

Famous people and their mothers

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

Mother: (noun) 1.One person who does the work of 20. For free

Happy Mothers Day all Mommy's out there ! :)

Expectant mothers of Reddit, name your child Gotham.

When they cry in the middle of the night you can turn to your SO and whisper on their ear 'Gotham needs you!' and they will get up.

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Mary and Jane are two new mothers and they are chatting about raising baby boys

Jane asks Mary “What do you call that useless bit of skin at the end of the penis”

Mary says “I call it my husband”

A boy asks his mother

Son: Mom, would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?

Mom: If you didn't do it, then no.

Son: Good, because I didn't do my homework last night

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My wife said sex has become a chore.

So for mothers day I've hired her some help.

This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning.

He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying, "I need a man, I need a man." So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded dif...

If Mother's Day is for mothers, Father's Day is for fathers, and Valentine's Day is for lovers, what holiday is for single men?

Palm Sunday

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