UPJOKE
mamamommymommamothergrannymammafemale parentmammymummymummissusgrandmotherdaddywifey

Your Momma is so ugly...

The whole world faked a virus, just to make her wear a mask.

Your momma is so fat....

Your momma is so fat that when she accepts website cookies they run out.

Yo momma is so dumb

That she tried to drown herself on a pool table
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Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people.

Kinda like yo momma.

Yo momma so fat, it wasn't the stork that brought her

It was the crane!

Your momma so ugly…

She went into a haunted house and came out with a job application

Yo momma is so fat ...

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

Yo momma is so vegan and fat...

..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

Yo momma so fat, I pictured her in my head

And she broke my neck.

Yo Momma is so fat...

When she's walking down the street, cops driving by scream out, "Hey you two --break it up!"

Your momma is so slow...

It took her 9 months to make a joke.

Yo Momma is so ugly

The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Your momma so ugly

when she was giving blowjobs, everyone though it was anal.

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times..

Just like yo mamma

What's the difference between Yo Momma and a water buffalo?

About 25 pounds.


How do you change that?


Force-feed the buffalo or shave yo momma.


(I almost feel bad for trotting out a joke older than most Redditors but I can't.)

Yo Momma so fat.......

When she travels by bus, it becomes a cab.

Yo Momma works in IT...

as a disk format cause she's FAT32

Yo Momma so fat...

light bends around her waist, but she doesn't!

Yo momma, she so fat...

there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

Yo momma so fat...

Her blood type is A ... & W

Yo Momma is so old…..

she is a United States Senator.

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Yo momma like soft butter

She'll spread for bread.

Yo momma so old…

when I made love to her I was charged with desecrating a historical landmark

Yo momma's so fat

She uses the highway as a water slide

Your momma is so hairy

When you was born you got carpet burn.

Your momma so old...

Her first celebrity crush was Hercules.

Yo momma so short...

You can see her feet on her driver's license

Your mommas so fat.....

She got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack.

Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

My momma said "Life is like a box of condoms..."

Runs out faster than you expect, and your mistakes will outlive you.

Your momma is so fat . . .

She couldn’t even be lifted up in prayer.

Yo momma so fat

Her passport photo is a panoramic one

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Your Momma so ugly...

When she masturbates, its considered a hate crime.

Yo momma so fat...

...when she goes jogging, she leaves potholes.

Your momma so old…

You should call her and check in. Just say hello. Tell her you love her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo Momma's so fat, when she jumps up in the air

the government shoots her unidentified ass down.

Yo momma's glasses are so thick...

... when she looks at maps, she can see people waving back at her.

Your momma so fat

A water park hired her to sit in a wading pool and start flapping her thighs together to make waves.

Your momma so fat,

She sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad!

yo Momma'

Why are yo' Momma' jokes so funny?
Cuz yo' Daddy was never around.

Yo momma so fat...

There wasn’t enough room for a punchline

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Your momma so fat

She posts on Grubhub instead of Pornhub

Your momma is so poor

She gave me imitation crabs.

A boy’s momma walks in on him playin’ with himself. She yelled, “Stop it! Don’t you know you’ll go blind doin’ that?”

He said, “Yeah, but Momma, can’t I just do it till I need glasses?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo momma so fat

Vader had to use both his hands to choke the bitch.

YO momma so nasty...

She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Look; I ain't sayin your momma's a ho...

... but I've seen more people pull out of her than SVB on a Thursday night.

hit me with your best yo momma joke. I'll go first.

Yo momma so nasty even the crabs done migrated.

Did you hear the one about your momma?

Your momma’s so fat that the chicken crossed the road with a rabbi and walked into a bar. Knock knock. Saint Peter asked who’s there? Orange. Hi Orange, I’m Dad. Then the nun took off her habit and screamed there’s no punchline!

Yo momma so fat

She only needs a single cup of water to fill up her bath

Your Momma So Fat…

Your Momma So Fat She didn’t float in zero gravity.

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Yo momma's so fat

When she gives a blowjob it is classified as a class 5 hurricane.

Your momma's so fat...

... no one can socially distance her.

Yo momma is so ugly

Your dad wakes up with morning wouldn’t

Yo momma's so old...

even the ancient Egyptians called her "mummy"

Yo momma so nice

Yo momma so nice I had to say it twice

Yo momma so fat...

She is considered a carbohydrate based life form.

Yo momma so dumb she waits for the stop signs to turn green

She so ugly they do

What did baby corn say to momma corn?

where is popcorn?

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

(I made this up myself, I’m really proud of it)

Yo momma so fat

She fell on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh. But the sidewalk cracked up though.

Your momma is so fat

That the government had to bail her out because she was too big to fail.

Yo Momma so ugly...

Scorpion from Mortal Kombat be like "Stay over there."

Yo momma so fat...

When she's tanning at the beach, Greenpeace comes with 3 busses to pull her back in the water...

Why does a momma kangaroo hate the rain?

Because on those days the kids have to play inside

Your momma's so fat

She achieved herd immunity by herself

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Yo momma.

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A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

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Yo momma so fat…

When she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips

Do you know what your momma and a vacuum cleaner have in common?

Turn them on and they'll suck.

Your momma so dumb..

The brain eating amoeba she contracted starved to death

Yo momma is so stupid

She studied for a drug test

Why can’t Mahomes call his momma after the Super Bowl?

No reception

Yo momma is so pale..

She sweats milk and farts chalk

Yo momma so dumb

She brought a spoon to the Super Bowl

Momma Bear and Papa Bear are getting a divorce,

Momma Bear and Papa Bear are getting a divorce, and they're fighting over custody of Baby Bear.

The judge interviews him to help decide who gets custody. "OK Baby Bear, since your parents are going to live in two places, we have to figure out where you live. Do you want to live with Papa Bear...

O just bought a lettuce from our local store, called "Momma's and Poppa's". I can't eat it though

All the leaves are brown.

What did the momma cow say to her baby cows?

It’s pasture bedtime

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy

it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Happy Mother's Day weekend

Your momma's so fat, she's like the negative cosine of X...

They both go down after pi

Your momma so fat...

She needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.

Your momma is so ugly....

Bill Cosby gave her coffee.

Yo momma's so fat

She has to use a boomerang to get her belt on

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Lets hear your best "Yo momma" joke

Yo mamma's so fat, when she hauls ass it takes two trips

"Look Momma, I'm a white boy."

A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room an...

Joke Request: Your momma jokes. Give me your best. I want to hear them all. Best joke gets reddit gold for two months.

Oh, and one rule for the gold: It cannot be a joke I have heard before. Makes it more interesting. ;)

**GAMERMAN85 IS IN THE LEAD. GOLD WILL BE AWARDED WHEN THREAD IS 72 HRS OLD AND AWARDED TO BEST JOKE AT THAT TIME**

Your mommas so poor

I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"

Yo momma's so fat, she's like a Boeing 737 Max 8.

At the slightest sign of trouble, she throws herself at the ground screaming, killing all 300 people riding her.

Yo momma cooks so bad...

The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!

Give me your best 'Yo Momma' jokes.

Yo momma's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm for different timezones!

Yo momma's so fat, she is on BOTH sides of the family!

My nine year old's yo momma joke

Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redditor told me “Yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get most of the content on r/jokes.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, “well, yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get *any* of the content on r/all.”

I wanted to come back with something original, but all I could muster was a shitty riposte.

Yo momma so ugly...

We’re gonna lie to her that the pandemic isn’t over so she can keep her mask on.

Your momma so fat

It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.

Your momma's so fat...

she doesn't go back for seconds, she goes back for hours.

Two momma kangaroos were talking.

ROO # 1 : "Oh, you look so good in that outfit."

ROO # 2 : "Thanks! It even has a pocket!"

Yo momma so fat

Your father left the house just so he could be far enough to see her entirely.

Your momma is so poor

She could fart on a penny and she still wouldn’t have gas money

Yo momma is so lazy...

Yo momma is so lazy that when she died and went to heaven, god told her to climb the stairway to enter and she said no.
So then god sent her to hell.

--

My younger son is on a yo momma joke kick right now in life and said this one to me in the car. I know it's a terrible yo momma ...

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