UPJOKE
mamamommymommamothergrannymammamammymummymummissusgrandmotherdaddywifeyhey

Your Momma is so ugly...

The whole world faked a virus, just to make her wear a mask.

Yo momma soooo fat

she entered a fat contest and they said "sorry no professionals."

Yo momma so fat

when the lord said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move first

Yo momma is so ugly.....

Walmart started requiring her to wear a face mask 10 years before they even heard of coronavirus.

Your momma is so fat....

Your momma is so fat that when she accepts website cookies they run out.

Yo momma is so dumb

That she tried to drown herself on a pool table

Yo momma so old...

She pre-ordered the bible

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times.

Just like yo mamma

Your momma so old…

You should call her and check in. Just say hello. Tell her you love her.

Your Momma So Fat…

Your Momma So Fat She didn’t float in zero gravity.

Your momma so old...

Her first celebrity crush was Hercules.

Yo Momma is so ugly

The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break

Your momma is so poor

She gave me imitation crabs.

Yo momma is SO slow….

That it took her 9 months to make a joke!

Your momma so fat,

She sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo momma's so fat

When she gives a blowjob it is classified as a class 5 hurricane.

Yo momma so fat...

There wasn’t enough room for a punchline

Yo momma so short...

You can see her feet on her driver's license

Your mommas so fat.....

She got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack.

yo Momma'

Why are yo' Momma' jokes so funny?
Cuz yo' Daddy was never around.

hit me with your best yo momma joke. I'll go first.

Yo momma so nasty even the crabs done migrated.

Your momma so dumb..

The brain eating amoeba she contracted starved to death

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy

it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Happy Mother's Day weekend

Your momma is so fat

That the government had to bail her out because she was too big to fail.

Yo momma so fat...

When she's tanning at the beach, Greenpeace comes with 3 busses to pull her back in the water...

Yo momma is so pale..

She sweats milk and farts chalk

Why does a momma kangaroo hate the rain?

Because on those days the kids have to play inside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your momma so fat

She posts on Grubhub instead of Pornhub

Do you know what your momma and a vacuum cleaner have in common?

Turn them on and they'll suck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo momma so fat…

When she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips

Yo momma so fat

She fell on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh. But the sidewalk cracked up though.

Yo momma so fat

She only needs a single cup of water to fill up her bath

Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people.

Kinda like yo momma.

Your momma's so fat...

... no one can socially distance her.

Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

Your momma's so fat

She achieved herd immunity by herself

Yo momma is so vegan and fat...

..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

What did baby corn said to momma corn?

Where is popcorn?

O just bought a lettuce from our local store, called "Momma's and Poppa's". I can't eat it though

All the leaves are brown.

Yo momma so fat

she is seven out of ten fattest people I know!

My momma said "Life is like a box of condoms..."

Runs out faster than you expect, and your mistakes will outlive you.

A young man is at brunch with his sugar momma.

A young man is at brunch with his sugar momma for the first time since they started seeing eachother. He had been nervous about being in public, but figured it would be fine. As they are sitting there having a nice time, another woman approaches the table and greets them. The young man looks petrifi...

Yo momma is so stupid

She studied for a drug test

Yo momma so fat...

She is considered a carbohydrate based life form.

Why can’t Mahomes call his momma after the Super Bowl?

No reception

Yo momma is so fat ...

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

Momma Bear and Papa Bear are getting a divorce,

Momma Bear and Papa Bear are getting a divorce, and they're fighting over custody of Baby Bear.

The judge interviews him to help decide who gets custody. "OK Baby Bear, since your parents are going to live in two places, we have to figure out where you live. Do you want to live with Papa Bear...

Yo momma is so ugly

Your dad wakes up with morning wouldn’t

Yo momma's so fat

She has to use a boomerang to get her belt on

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Cheerios

Twins, Johnny and Billy are turning 13 next week and so they were discussing growing up.

“Since we are gonna be grown up now we should be able to curse”

Johnny says “Ok Billy you say Shit and I’ll say Ass.”

So they head downstairs for breakfast ready for the day.

Their M...

Your face is so ugly

when your momma dropped you off to school she got a littering fine

Your momma so poor

Your momma so poor, she walks around with one shoe on. And when people ask if she lost a shoe she says
“No I found one”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Your momma so ugly

when she was giving blowjobs, everyone though it was anal.

3 Moles are traveling underground.

Daddy mole leading the way, followed by Momma and Baby mole.

Suddenly, Daddy mole stops, sniffs, and says, "MMM, I smell clover."

A few yards further Momma mole stops, sniffs, and says, "Ahhh, I smell honey."

After a few more minutes Baby mole has had enough. He yells towards t...

Yo momma, she so fat...

there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

You’re momma so ugly

That when bob the builder see her he says I can’t fix that

Yo momma so fat

She has to wear a pillow case as a face mask

Yo Momma so ugly...

Scorpion from Mortal Kombat be like "Stay over there."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redditor told me “Yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get most of the content on r/jokes.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, “well, yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get *any* of the content on r/all.”

I wanted to come back with something original, but all I could muster was a shitty riposte.

Two momma kangaroos were talking.

ROO # 1 : "Oh, you look so good in that outfit."

ROO # 2 : "Thanks! It even has a pocket!"

Yo momma so ugly...

We’re gonna lie to her that the pandemic isn’t over so she can keep her mask on.

Yo momma so stupid,

she uses an emery board to file her taxes.

Your momma is soooo fat.....

she violates the social distance recommendations all by herself!

Yo momma so fat..

The government cancelled her for being a mass gathering

Yo momma so fat...

She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.

We almost lost momma!

Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s a bird… errr

A mother and her young son were traveling to school early one morning when they unexpectedly got behind a garbage truck.

After following the garbage truck for a little bit there was trash occasionally falling out of the back of the truck. All of a sudden a giant purple dildo came flying out ...

Yo momma sooo dense,

she would sink in a pool of mercury.

Yo momma is so literal...

...You still have the scar from when she threw you under the bus.

Your momma is so poor

She could fart on a penny and she still wouldn’t have gas money

Yo momma so fat

Your father left the house just so he could be far enough to see her entirely.

Yo momma’s so old...

When it’s that time of the month, she has a renaissance period.

Yo momma is so lazy...

Yo momma is so lazy that when she died and went to heaven, god told her to climb the stairway to enter and she said no.
So then god sent her to hell.

--

My younger son is on a yo momma joke kick right now in life and said this one to me in the car. I know it's a terrible yo momma ...

Yo momma's so fat, she's like a Boeing 737 Max 8.

At the slightest sign of trouble, she throws herself at the ground screaming, killing all 300 people riding her.

Yo momma defies the laws of economics

She's got plenty of supply, but there's absolutely no demand

What did the momma cow say to her baby cows?

It’s pasture bedtime

Anyone wanna hear one about a couple olives? (it’s long but worth the read trust me)

So there are these 2 olives right, let's call
them Frank and Bobby…… and these two
are long time best friends, and they’re as good of guys as they come, and always just having a good time together. Nice as can be. Just some good timing olives you know? Anyways they're on a high top table at a ...

Yo momma is so ugly

That your father no longer finds her attractive and I am seriously concerned about the health of their marriage.

So an English man, an American, an Asian, a blonde, Chuck Norris and Yo momma walk into a bar...

The barman asks...




Is this some kind of joke?

Yo momma so fat

the only date she can get is a windows update.

Your momma so fat

It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.

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