Mamma Jokes

Kinda like yo mamma.

The whole world faked a virus just to get a mask on her face.

That her pronouns are kg/lbs

Yo daddy takes her to work with him every day so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye.

Her favourite soccer team is Hamburg

I know it's not mine. But just heard it for the first time the other day. Made me smile. What is your favorite yo mamma jokes? Would love to read them

One of my favorites: your mama’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.

She went to buy pictures at Adobe Photoshop

Just like yo mamma

They consider cows to be sacred.

…that her social security number is written with Roman numerals.

For Halloween she put on a bedsheet and went as Antarctica.

They had to take her passport photo with Google earth.

When she steps on a scale I see my phone number

Yo Mamma is like a bowling ball...

She likes to get picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, then comes back for more.

Ed Sheeran had a stroke trying to sing the shape of her

Her offspring doesn't even know how to finish a sen

It took her 9 months to come up with a good joke

it takes a Ukrainian tractor to pull her.

She looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

“She has her own LaGrange points”

house!

One is fat, stinks of fish and has a moustache. And the other is a walrus

The CDC recommends she continue to wear a mask after the pandemic is over.

when she moons people, they turn into werewolves.....

that the only reason she opened her email was because she heard it contained spam.

So fat she needs to social distance 12`

They’re both a Fulton

...when she got covid the CDC classified it a super spreader event.

Where's popcorn?

she though that Starbucks was alien currency.

She’s been inspiring others to practice social distancing her whole life!

if she wrote a book about herself it would be an autogeography.

Where’s pop corn?

From my 7 year old daughter.

Nice, I highly value the talks we’ve had.

She thinks #metoo is a Pokemon

She thought consumerism was the political force driving people to eat more.

She needs 2 cars to go places.

1 for her to drive in and the other to follow that says 'Oversize Load'

If a zombie walked up to eat her brain, it'd just keep on walking.

Thanos had to snap twice to kill her

my dog closes his eyes while humping her leg.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

China is planning on landing on her dark side!

She got arrested for deforestation because she went vegan for lunch.

She gotta comb her wrist to see what time it is

...she works at 2 strip clubs and told me she was bipolar.

When she’s sunbathing Green Peace comes and try to push her back into the ocean

She thinks judo is what you make bagels with

Yo mamma so fat, that when you were being delivered at the hospital the doctor had to send in a rescue diver. He pulled out you, 11 other kids, and a soccer coach.

I saw her kicking a can down the street. Asked her what she was doing and she said "Movin'"

...is the real reason yo daddy left.

Happy Father's Day!

When you download a picture of her at work, the IT department thinks they're under a DDoS attack.

she could be a marxist utopia!

I thought, that's "ABBAriginal".

You never know what you're gonna get, but it will be the same few chocolates every time."

-Because Barc in reverse is crab. And your mommy loves crabs.

-Ah, I see. Thanks for explaining, mom.

-No problem, Lana.

Would be nice if you guys could help out:

http://www.reddit.com/r/yomamma

Here's something to warm you up:

Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

She thought Jungle Gym was Tarzan's cousin!

Original. You're welcome.

...back in her day, old spice was just called spice!

A little boy once came home with a 10 dollar bill and he said "I found it".

His mother asked "Luke, did you really find it? Are you sure?"

He said "Sure mamma, I even saw the man looking for it"

\- Sadhguru

Yo mamma is so classless... she is like a Marxist utopia!

(long) ...came to the US back in the 1960s before digital photos, cell phones, or computers. He wanted to get a professional photo taken to be sent to his mamma in Italy to show her how well he was doing.

The photographer said he would be at Giorgio’s home at 11:00. But, Giorgio understood 1:... read more

...here we go again