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Mission Impossible Jokes

I saw Mission Impossible: Fallout yesterday.

It's probably the longest iPhone commercial I'll ever watch.

Mission Impossible

United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this "secret" base. The aircraft was immediately impounded & the pilot was interrogated.
The pilot's story was that - he took off from Vegas, got lost &...

I found a copy of Mission Impossible 3 among my blu-rays the other day...

I thought to myself: 'It's not really impossible if he's already done it twice."

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter,...

Everybody Knows Somebody Called DAVE.

Dave is an advertising executive in L.A., who is always boasting that he knows EVERYONE on the planet, & they all know him.

His colleagues love hearing his stories about this celebrity, or that politician. However, his boss doesn't believe a word & challenges him to prove his boasts....

Your mama so fat...

I was gunna make a movie about her - “around your mum In 80 days” but I changed it to “mission impossible”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Zlatan Facts

1. When Zlatan crosses the street, cars look both ways.

2. Zlatan doesn't have hair on his testicles because hair can't grow on steel

3. You can't use 'Zlatan' as your password because it is 'too strong'.

4. Zlatan wakes up his alarm clock every morning.

5. Ghosts sit...

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