A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are tasked with finding the volume of a rubber ball

The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume.

The physicist submerges the ball in water and measures the amount of water displaced.

The engineer twists and turns the ball, looking for the model number.

why were the Sunchips tasked with protecting the dip

Because they were known for garden salsa

An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.

They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.

"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist....

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The Harley & The dishes (NSFW)

A guy named Joe heads into his local Harley Davidson dealership with a fistfull of dollars and starts looking for his dream motorbike. The dealer looks at Joe's choice and states that while Joe's choice in motorcycle was respectable, the older style Harleys not only held their value better, but in m...

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager.

For the first time in history, a US president haven't grown old, gray haired and tired by the stressful tasks of his presidency ...

... Instead everyone else did.

Stuttering Bible Salesman

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who wo...

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A woman goes through border control on her bicycle with two panniers filled with sand.

The border guard was suspicious about it and searched through the sand, but couldn’t find anything hidden, so he had to let her through.

The next day, the same woman passes by, again riding a bike with two bags brimming with bright sand. The guard was still unable to find anything. He felt so...

If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?

A coworker

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Three generals are arguing over who has the bravest soldiers.

The first general calls up a private from his army and tells him: "Climb that building and leap down from the roof!". With a "Yes sir!", the soldier climbed the building, leapt off and crashed violently on the concrete floor. The second general called up a private from his army and orders him: "Put ...

Once a man in the mafia, was tasked with killing another man.

He ended up killing him with a porcelain doll in a rice paddy.

It was the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

Scottish Trade

A guy walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,

"Excuse me Miss, day ye harv eni books on suicide?"

To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says,

"Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"

The CIA, F.B.I and a local police department take part in a contest and are tasked with finding a rabbit released in the nearby woods

The police department deploys search squads and dogs, and after 4 hours comes back with the rabbit.

The FBI deploys helicopters and drones and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.

The CIA comes back after 30 minutes with a badly beaten bear who cries out “I am the rabbit! And I surrender”

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his...

I’m 3’6”, which makes certain daily tasks extremely difficult. Recently, I spent a good 10 minutes in my local supermarket wondering how to get the pasta down from the top shelf.

Then suddenly the penne dropped.

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Three pilots were stranded on an island with inhabited by an untouched tribe.

The chief of the tribe told them that he would spare their lives if they manage to accomplish two tasks he will give them. Should they fail, they will be executed immediately. The first task was to bring him 5 of the same fruit from the forest, the second task would be told after they succeed.
...

The Old Man and the Burdensome Load

An old man was tasked with carrying a bundle of sticks from his home to the next town over, and it was a terrible task. The bundle was very heavy, and the journey was many miles through harsh terrain. After many days, he could bear it no longer. His feet were blistered, his throat was dry, and he wa...

How many members of a specified demographic does it take to complete a particular task?

A finite quantity. One to complete the specific task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of persons from said demographic.

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I had twelve bottles of whisky...

...and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else!
So, I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.



I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass... which I ...

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A man sees a sign in front of a bar that states "Free Beer For 1 Year Inquire Inside"

The man goes inside and sits down at the bar, and asks the bartender about the sign he saw out front. The bartender informs him that all he has to do is complete 3 tasks, and the bar will give him free beer for one year. The man asked what the tasks were and the bartender responded. First you need t...

They say women are good at multi-tasking.

I told my wife to sit down and shut up and she couldn't do either.

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

Tom was not the brightest kid in his school.

None of his classmates liked him. He was plain stupid when it came to even simplest stuff. His teacher always told him "you're driving me crazy".

One day, Tom's mother visited school and when she spoke to teacher, the teacher directly said: "Your child is absolutely stupid, not only his grad...

A psychologist, a general, and a government official are tasked with reducing underage crime in a sample population put under their authority. Whoever drops it the most in a year, wins. After the year is done, they have a meeting to discuss their results.

The psychologist starts: "We lowered underage crime by over 20% in the last year, mostly by introducing counseling courses, and social assistance programs."

The General goes: "Crime is down by over 30%. Turns out, strict discipline and a one-strike rule can greatly affect people's habits."...

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[Long] It's 1916 and the Germans have developed a new cipher that is proving hard to crack...

A rightfully annoyed British high command therefore advertises the job "military radio decrypter" in all the newspapers across the country and sure enough, some people attempt to apply for the job.

Outside the recruitment office there's a long line of men and women eager to help the war effor...

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A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

An Italian guy is out picking up women in Rome. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive-looking blonde.

They go back to his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while, he climaxes. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So… you finish?”

After a short pause, she replies, “No.”

Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, ...

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Two explorers in the 1950s crash land on a remote island

They are soon captured by the local tribe. They are told that if they do not complete 2 tasks they will be killed and eaten. However if they succeed they can live like kings with their own harem.

First they must go into the jungle and find 10 edible things and bring them back.
They go, an...

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A competition in the pub

A guy walks into a new pub and notices that there’s a jar full of ten pound notes.

so he asks the barman “what’s with the jar?” The barman explains, if you put a tenner in the jar and complete 3 tasks then you win all the money in the jar. He agrees and hands over a ten pound note.

“Ri...

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A man was interviewing for a position with the CIA (Part 2)

It's the second day of interviews for the position at the CIA. The three men are ready for their next step.

The interviewers take the first man into the interrogation room where the is someone tied to a chair with a hood over their face. They say "This is a practical task designed to test you...

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Todays News: Russia takes a step towards inclusivity by establishing new task force comprised of Gay/Bi/Pan/Trans/etc enlistees...

Introducing: The KGBT

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My wife is so good at multi-tasking.

She can have sex and fall asleep at the same time.

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A Man gets distracted while masturbating .

Success comes to those who focus with the task at hand.

I understand and support the Women's National Republican Club's concerns about getting the Covid-19 Shot....

To many of us it seams like a simple task, you go in, they jab you with a little needle and 1 second later its out and your done.

But think of it from a Republican Woman's point of view. That little needle is twice the size of anything that has ever poked her before and is going to be in her ...

People say swallowing eggs, flour and water all at once is a difficult task, but I beg to differ.

It's a piece of cake.

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In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the President narrowed the field to three finalists, the CIA, the FBI, and the N.Y.P.D. The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.

The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the for...

What does a karen do when they get mad at a computer?

They demand to see the task-manager!

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When is the only time a guy can multi task?

When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time!

For those unaware, Big Ben is undergoing renovations in London; it's no easy task

They're having to work around the clock to make it happen.

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The best joke I’ve ever heard which never fails to make me smile whenever I remember it.(NSFW)

Three explorers get lost in a huge jungle. After wandering around for days, they are found and captured by a jungle tribe. The tribesmen take the explorers to their leader and drop them at his feet. The chieftain looks at them for a moment and says, “ The three of you will die unless you manage to d...

The three bears.

The three bears are out of work after the whole Goldilocks scandal.
Anyway they get offered a days work on a building site, and the foreman gives them a task and some picks.
On giving them their tools he says, "don't lose your tools".
So after working all morning dinner arrives, and off the...

What is the most important project task of a grill master at a chop house?

To please their steakholders

When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of résumés, I throw about half of them in the garbage.

I do not want unlucky people working in our company

An Austrian government official was given the task to find a contractor for a construction project.

The first to reply was an Italian company which offered to do the work for a million Euros. Then a German company made a bid of two millions. Finally, an Austrian contractor came to the official and said he would need four millions to do the job.

"Why do you need four million Euros?" asked th...

MI5, CIA and FSB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest

MI5 forms a task group of twelve agent and proceeds to set up surveillance and monitor the inhabitants of the forest 24/7. They also buy information on the rabbit from several forest critters. After three months, MI5 abandons the search and concludes that the rabbit does not exist.


CIA ro...

Bob the sheepdog was getting the sheep in for Farmer Fred. He completed his task and went bounding over to the Farmer shouting “Farmer Fred, Farmer Fred…. I chased 40 sheep in to the yard for you”. “40 sheep?” queries Farmer Fred. “I’ve only got 37”

“I know” says Bob. “I rounded them up”

My GF always helps me with difficult tasks

She's my right hand

A journalist was tasked to interview the best costume maker in the world...

So the journalist asked for an appointment with the costume maker, and luckily, he accepted.

Now this costume maker might be famous, but no one but himself and a few people know his real name. His identity was shrouded in mystery. The name he goes by is Mr. D.D., which are his initials. The j...

Why can’t Karens get anything done on a Windows computer?

They keep summoning the Task Manager

(Sorry: this came to my mind as I was getting frustrated with my slow computer)

What is Santa's favorite computer task?

Clearing cookies!

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The Medicran (long)

Fair warning: I heard this from my Dad years ago, so…dad joke ahead. Consider yourself warned.

Long ago, a tribe of the northlands was being savaged by the fearsome Medicran. A council of the tribes elders, after some discussion decided something needed to be done. They charged the tribe’s b...

An arm with no body crawls into a military recruiting station.

The sergeant looks on in amazement as the arm hops onto his desk, grabs a pen and writes;

“I’m here to enlist!”

“You can’t enlist, you’re just an arm!”

The arm quickly wraps itself around the sergeant’s neck and puts him into a submission hold; letting him go just before he pas...

The royal calligrapher's apprentice.

In the late 1400s there was a young man named Pablo. He was apprenticed to the royal calligrapher for the king of Spain. One day the royal calligrapher gathered his apprentices for a lesson.

"Any letter penned for his majesty must be penned with Ink made here in Spain! It would be a trav...

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

When the young couple had their first babythe task of passing on the news fell to the father.

He called up one person and said, "Hi there! It's a boy!"

There was a pause at the other end. Then a voice said hesitantly:

"Yes, I can tell that, but ... who are you?"

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There's an old Jewish man walking along the beach...

and he comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie says to the old Jewish man, "I will grant you anything you want."

The man pulls out a map of the Middle East and shows it to the genie and says, "I would like peace in the Middle East between the Israelis and Palest...

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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Japanese man were hired at a construction site.

The foreman shows them their task, which is to move a large pile of sand. He assigns each of the men their respective roles.

He points to the large, muscular Scotsman and says "You're in charge of shoveling".

He points to the moderately sized Italian and says "You're in charge of sweep...

I think a lot of linux package handling systems are not good enough for the task.

But the one with Ubuntu is apt.

A Scottish farmer is sitting on his front porch one day, resting after finishing his tasks with his dog at his feet.

A man in a suit approaches the farmer, greets him warmly, and the farmer greets him in turn. The man notices the dog lying at the farmer's feet and smiles at the pooch.

"Can I talk to your dog?" The man asks. The farmer gives him an odd look but shrugs.

"Dog don't talk, but whatever...

A blonde woman

A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next d...

I recall the time years ago when my friend and I went on our secret spy mission. Like any other highly trained operatives, we were tasked with infiltrating the local mattress store.

It had been reported several times for housing a suspicious number of fans. (a Code 182).

Per our orders, my partner and I snuck into the establishment, taking up hiding under the blankets of some nearby display beds. Sure enough, the place was crawling with fans: ceiling fans, upright fans,...

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Multi tasking

My wife and her friend were having a conversation about how useless men
are when my wife said, "They can't do two things at once."

At this, I interrupted and said, "Actually I can!"

"Give me an example," she replied.

"Well, while I was fucking you last night, I was thinkin...

Why do PETA members suck at multi-tasking?

They cant bring themselves to kill two birds with one stone.

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Three men all suffer an untimely death on the very same day.

They all wind up in purgatory and each has a sneaking suspicion that they will unfortunately end up in Hell for their various evil deeds committed on Earth. As this thought occurs to each of them, Satan suddenly appears before the three men. Much to their delight, Satan offers each of them one final...

My son just had his first day at the British Museum, his first task was to guard a multi million pound glass vase...

Apparently he said he smashed it!

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It’s time to redecorate the nunnery and Mother Superior is feeling overwhelmed with supervising all the various contractors. Wanting to save some money, she tasks the 2 newest novitiates with painting the cloister...

The young nuns are inexperienced painters, and they paint slowly and carefully, concerned about getting paint on their habits.

Mother Superior comes to check on them and is dismayed to find by the end of the day they’ve barely painted one wall.

“You’ll need to paint faster ladies, w...

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A man's car breaks down in Tibet..

A man's car breaks down in Tibet, and wouldn't you know it? His phone gets no service. So he walks up a long windy road to a huge monastery at the top of the hill. He knocks at the reinforced double doors and a Tibetan monk after some minutes finally opens.

"My car broke down. Do you...

I bought a fountain drink and pressed the ice dispenser to fill the cup half way with ice, but I wasn't able to finish the task as it was...

...soda pressing.

Me and my partner were doing some spring cleaning

All the chores had piled up over winter. There was so many tasks to complete so we decided to split them up. She told me to do the living room and bedroom because there was more to do there and she would take the kitchen.
I said "man.. I got 99 problems but a dish ain't one"

In an alternate reality, bears speak and coexist with humans.

A prominent electrician (who happened to be a bear) employed several humans for various positions within his company. Some were in customer service, handling the phones. Others were on-site technicians who drove around town from job to job. One human, Mike, was hired to do two different jobs inside ...

The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest...

The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.

The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."

The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am ...

Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?

Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!

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A journalist is given a task to interview a man that lives in the mountains and get a funny story out of him.

So the journalist arrives and asks the man a question - "Tell me a funny story that happened in these mountains." The man with a smile on his face says - "I remember this like it was yesterday. Once a neighbour's goat got lost. We got some other men, got booze and food. Went out looking. Took a brea...

The Interview

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of rsums he found four people who were equally qualified. An American, an Indian, a European and a Nigerian.He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers w...

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Working at a factory making huge calculator buttons isn't exactly my dreamjob, but at least my only task is to fabricate one kind of button.

That's a big plus.

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There was once a competition involving three gruelling tasks.

The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:

1)Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go.

2)Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.

3)And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.

Many peop...

It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet

Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task

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A teacher gives 7 grade students a task

to learn about a topic from a given list (which goes: food, water, cows, horses, airplanes etc) and then present it in class the next week with props and costumes. One of those students, George, felt that this was a stupid thing to do and didn’t prepare that day. The following day, his parents got a...

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A man was traveling through Asia when one night, he stopped at a monastery

He asked the monks for a place to sleep and some food, and the monks indulged him. But that night, he couldn't sleep. He kept hearing this droning, thumping sound. After a while, he went to investigate. He followed the sound down the stairs, into the basement. There he encountered a richly decorated...

A geography teacher assigned each of his students a country to find on a map

He gave them the task of finding their assigned country on the globe, and explaining how it can be identified

'I can find Italy on the globe, Sir' says James 'It's easy because it looks like a boot'

'Well done James' says the teacher

'I can find Pakistan on the globe' says Emily...

A group of Christians are tasked with changing a lightbulb.

The Charismatic changes it easily; his hands are already up.



The Roman Catholic refuses; he prefers candles.



The Pentecostal changes it while his friends pray against the Lord of Darkness.



The Christian Scientist can't, but he prays for the light to turn ...

Teacher's pet

A boy was once given the task of babysitting his teacher's pet dog for a day. He was careless and the dog ran out the door when he wasn't looking. He tried searching all over town but he couldn't find the dog anywhere. He then thought of a plan. His teacher was old and losing the sharpness of most o...

How do storms complete tasks?

With GUSTo

A Polish man moves to Korea and tries to find work

He looks for work everywhere but can’t find any, until after thorough searching he lands an interview at a car dealership. The man is interviewed by the boss, who not only has a poor grasp on English, but he also seems to have a very hard time getting his name right. The man tries to explain his nam...

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I was tasked with coming up with a clever puberty pun

But I guess I really dropped the balls on that one

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At school, kids were given the task to tell a story with a moral lesson

The next day, the teacher asks:

'So, what's your story Timmy?'

'This one time when we were taking eggs on a cart to the neighbouring town, the cart's wheel broke and so did all the eggs.'

'And what's the moral of this story?'

'That you shouldn't put all your eggs in one b...

Ball volume

A mathematician, scientist, & engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a ball



The mathematician derived it using a formula given the circumference



The scientist measured the displaced volume when submerged in water

The engineer found the model # ...

In the time of the Holy Roman Empire

There was a chronic shortage of hay with which to feed the Army's horses. So much so that the Emperor issued a mandate that restricted its use, even going as far as cutting in half the width of all brooms.

This became standard use and over time no one questioned it. With the exception of lowl...

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks....

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss he beats it to death with a
spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving...

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There's a little known legend about the Brothers Grimm: they wanted to write a story to rival The Ugly Duckling. For 'research' purposes, they bought a hundred ducks and released them into a cave..

..planning to return years later to document their behavior. Unfortunately both passed away before that, and the project was forgotten.


This information came to light hundreds of years later in 2>!XXX!<, during an investigation into strange quacking noises and numerous missing p...

The CIA, KGB and MI6 decide to have a contest.

Each is given the task to find a rabbit
realeased in the woods.

The CIA uses spyplanes and satellites and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.

The MI6 deploys recon and search teams and finds it in 3 hours.

The KGB return after 1 hour with a badly beaten bear who cries out "I am th...

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School tasks

Just before lunch break one day, the teacher asked all the students to go out an get inspiration for a report after break.

Afterwards little Sarah comes in and describes in very vivid detail a rose growing in mud, with water drops glistening in the sun. The teacher with a tear in her eyes ask...

Discipline is about having the strength to do something that you do not want to do. To keep at a task for long periods of time even when its unpleasant. Even when it hurts. I am one of the most disciplined people I know.

For example, I don't want to get fat.

Someone keeps taking my task manager combination keys off my keyboards.

I’ve lost all control, and I have no alternative but to delete this horrible joke.

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

NEWS FLASH: Massive earthquake devastates Pakistan

I major earthquake hits pakistan causing massive damage and loss of lives. Early reports outline damage to infrastructure, roads, power and water supply. A horryfying number of confirmed casulties lists 1 million dead with many stilll unaccounted for.

The world leaders have come to togeth...

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.

The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.

The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.

The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. ...

How does batman schedule a task on his computer?

With a .bat script

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a boy was asked to think of three good quotes at school

he went home and asked his mother, she said “a fool and his money are soon parted”

he asked his father, he said “ask and you shall receive”

he asked his grandfather, who served the military, he said, “where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved”

he went ba...

A man is tasked with setting out Christmas decorations on a submarine

He spends all night thinking about it, and eventually decides on a Christmas tree. He spends hours putting the tree up, adding tinsel, baubles, and finally the star on top. He takes a step back, and looks proudly at his work. But when he comes back to it later, he finds it torn down.

The next...

There was a curly haired painter who was very successful.

There was a curly haired painter who was very successful. But then there came a new artist who's painting rivaled even his own best pieces. The usually very calm and docile curly haired man started to resent this competition and plotted how to get rid of him. Over the years he tried, unsuccessfully...

I thought by now you'd realise

A taxidermist and his apprentice are working late into the night to get their big project done - a full size lion on a purpose built stand. This once-mighty big cat had been killed in a fight with another lion, and was being fixed up for display at a natural history museum. The taxidermist had skill...

How many introverts does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Why does it have be a common task?

Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?

A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!

A college student writes a letter to his parents back home.

Dear Mom and Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. My profe$$or$ are al$o $uper cool! With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Mi$$ you guy$!
<...

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Immortal porpoises

One day Timmy has had enough. He is completely burned out, so he decides to use his saved up vacation days to go hiking in the mountains. He packs his tent and all his camping gear, and starts driving.

After many hours of driving he finialy arrives. He puts his backpack on his back and hea...

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Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke.

"We'll be a laughing stock" says the first sailor.

"I'll never be able to live ...

A mathematician and an engineer got a task:

They were given a plank with two nails; one hammered half way and one hammered all the way. There were asked to remove the nails from the plank.

The engineer didn't think much of it, grabbed pliers and quickly took both nails out.

The mathematician after some thought said:

"The ...

Half my coworkers are imposters

They pretend to do the tasks and sabotage everything.

Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task...

... however Romans nailed it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You can't trust a mule with an important task.

They'll just half-ass it.

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