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What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?

Finding out it was traced

Finding Jesus

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a Preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water And subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is Almost overcome by the smell of booze. But, he still manages to ask ...

What do you call a Greek philosopher who publishes his findings?

Articles

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A guy is outraged after finding his wife having sex with her gym trainer and demands an explanation.

She replies "It was my cheat day."

If anyone is still having trouble finding toilet paper or paper towels, I know a guy you can call...

Dog the Bounty Hunter. He's brawny and some people find him strangely charmin'.

My girlfriend packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman. She screamed, "I want you to go!" I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?" She replied, "Go on, I'm listening." I sat down and said...

"It was the most amazing experience of my entire life..."

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Being young and naive falling for the one you believe to be your soulmate and spending so much time and effort to get in a relationship with them and when it finally happens you are happy but your partner isn’t, but they don’t actually show it, and it gets to the point where you are now married and ...

Nobody wants to be alone. A recently divorced friend of mine is hopeful of once again finding romance. Beer belly, completely bald.....

I don't like her chances.

My wife is furious with me after finding the letters I was trying to hide

She said she's had it and never wants to play Scrabble with me ever again.

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After finding out that Sanders quit the presidential race, Biden decides to send Sanders some chocolate M&Ms and a personal note of praise and acknowledgement.

The next day Sanders decides to calls Biden and thank him for the warm gesture.

They end up talking for about five minutes. They both acknowledge the difficulties of running for office and how politics isn’t for the faint-hearted.

As they were wrapping up their conversation, Sanders h...

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.

While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies. The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him: "You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land, for just $100.”

The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for...

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One day, a teacher assigns the class to find out the definition of “politics.”

One day, a teacher assigns the class to find out the definition of “politics.”

One little boy in the class goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she...

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A newly married woman is distressed to find out her new husband plays so much golf...

My husband is on the links every day, she confides with her neighbor, I feel so neglected at times, Why don’t you learn to golf so you can be with your husband every day? the neighbor advises, yes that’s a great idea,
Next day she goes to the club to look for a woman pro, after finding one she’s...

An alien’s report to finding a planet with 7.5 billion dead.

“They’re all dead but their assess are spotless, sir.”

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Finding an ancient community

Not a joke, but just wondering if anyone here came from the community that understood:
- "purple, because aliens don't wear hats"
- "the horse name was Friday"
- "Nevil's basement"

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"Doc, you gotta help me! I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina!"

"You're supposed to take the stickers off the banana, lady."

Chinese doctors published their findings on the corona outbreak...

It’s gone viral

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Winter is here and our native birds are having difficulty finding food. Please go to the pet shop and buy a bag of nuts for them.

There is no finer sight on a winter’s morning than a pair of tits round your nut sack; however it’s a bit early to expect a swallow.

finding out you have corona virus at an airport must suck.

Its a terminal illness.

With the threat of the new coralvirus, who did the fish put in charge of finding a cure?

The Sturgeon General

I don't know why everyone had such a hard time finding Anne Frank.

When I went to Amsterdam, there was literally signs all over the place telling me where her house is.

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The secret to a good love life is finding a woman who treats you like a king, one that helps you be a better person, one that you really connect with sexually.

And most important: make sure these women never, ever meet each other.

I broke up with my girlfriend after finding out how many people she had slept with before me.

I didn't want to ruin everything by being the 70th

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