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In Gulag

Inmates discussing what they were sent to Gulag for.

"I was always 5 minutes late, so they sent me here for sabotage. You?"

"I was always 5 minutes early, so they sent me here for espionage. How about you, comrade?"

"I was always on time, so they sent me here for harming Soviet ...

Three gulag inmates

"Three gulag inmates are telling each other what they’re in for. The first one says: 'I was five minutes late for work, and they charged me with sabotage.'

The second says: 'For me it was just the opposite: I was five minutes early for work, and they charged me with espionage.'

The t...

Elephants are the ultimate animal for use in espionage

Get them into a room and nobody will even acknowledge them

What do you call a tree who commits espionage?

A leaves-dropper

What do you call an arachnid that moonlights in espionage?

A SPYder.

How do you combat espionage?

Umbreonage

Three men were sitting in a prison cell in Moscow in 1937

They discussed why they had been arrested.

"I showed up ten minutes late for work" the first man said "so they arrested me for sabotage"

"I showed up ten minutes early for work" said the second "so they arrested me for espionage"

"I showed up to work on time" said the third "so ...

Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase "We have ways of making you talk."

Has yet to be used on a woman.

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

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A communist spy and an American spy are camping out in opposite buildings on Moscow.

Each one knows the other is there but thinks the other does not know that they are there. After hours of spying each one decides they need to go out for some fresh air. However, since both would be easily recognized they decide to put on disguises. The Communist, a female, puts on an elaborate mal...

Three men are serving jail time in East Germany.

As they wait for time to pass, they eventually talk about why they were imprisoned.

The first one says: "Everyday, I got to work five minutes early, so they condemned me for espionage!"

The other two ask the second man.

He says: "Everyday, I got to work 5 minutes late, so they ...

Nikolia, Sergei, and Alexander are in a Soviet era Gulag together when Sergei asks

Sergei: So what did you two do to end up here?

Alexander: I was always early for work, so the government accused me of espionage and sent me here.

Nikolia: I was always late for work so I had to work later to make up for lost time. The government accused me of sabotage and sent me here...

What do you call a love affair between 3 spies?

Espionage a trois.

It's amazing how much has changed since the 80s

Back then we had a celebrity president with ultraconservative views and a cult following who was obsessed with a wall in the White House, a female Prime Minister with a complicated relationship with the EU and a total disregard for the poor of the country in Number Ten, the Russians were under a reg...

Covert Russian Cameras Discovered In High Profile US Officials' Restroom Facilities

The cameras were disassembled, and found to be of Russian origin. Upon further investigation, they are found to be part of a Russian espionage/blackmail program, codenamed 'Operation VCUP'.

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A Frenchman, Spaniard and Indian are sitting on the deck of a ship...

awaiting their punishments by the British Captain. The Captain approaches and says,"I have been given strict orders by the Commodore that the punishment shall fit the crime".

"You shall list the crime you have been convicted of, and I shall determine the appropriate punishment, which shall th...

There have been few historical examples of wars with three opposing sides.

One such example occurred in the 11th century, with the three belligerents being the French, the English (Anglos) and the Vikings. The rivalry between each group was quite intense, and unlike other situations, the two weaker groups at the time did not join together to fight the strongest. Instead, t...

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