As a trucker stops at a red light, a woman catches up...

She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."


The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl c...

In the South, what's the difference between and tornado and a divorce?

Nothing. Either way someone is losing a trailer.

A new doctor came into town and set up shop 4 months ago.

I’m a doctor too, so I was worried about losing any of my clientele. Sure enough, some of my regulars failed to reschedule appointments and I started getting faxed requests to send their medical records over to this new doctor.

After a few months had passed, things weren’t improving and appoi...

There was once an angel who was very happy with life because she was very beautiful and she always got to wear pretty, perfect dresses.

One day, when she ran out of clothes to wear, she decided to wash them. When she took her dresses out of the washing machine, she noticed several small pieces of fibre were just stuck randomly on her pieces of dressing.

This incident absolutely traumatized her. She was always known for how pe...

There was an old man who lived by a forest.

As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the...

Man: "Doctor, I think I have ADHD: I can't remember where I parked my Ford!"

Doctor: "That's not how ADHD works..."
Man: "But I keep losing my Focus!"

Life keeps getting worse. Last night a thief stole the bottom left key off my laptop.

It feels like I'm losing control.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler goes to visit a fortune teller

Worried about losing the war he asks the fortune teller,
“I want to know when I’m going to die.”

The fortune teller sits in a long silence and finally she replies,
“I do not know the exact day that you will die, but I can see that you will die on a Jewish holiday.”

To which Hit...

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus and drove off along the route:

No problems for the first few stops.
A few people got on, a few got off and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.

Six foot eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said. "Big John...

Hans, Is That You?

The Germans and Americans were reaching a stalemate in WWI.
In World War I there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand. They were reaching a stalemate. One day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war. This private explained his...

A man got into a horrific accident that resulted in him losing an arm and a leg.

Don't worry, he's all right now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lose 10Kg/22 Pounds a week or get double your money back !

A guy is reading his newspaper and stops on an ad:

"***Lose 5 Kg /11 Pounds in one week or we will pay you back twice your money, guaranteed !***"

He goes to the adress and the hostess at the reception collect the payment and shows the client a room saying: enter here you will see ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm,

'I'd like to buy a horth' he says to the owner of the farm. 'What sort of horse?' said the owner. 'A female horth' the dwarf replies. So the owner shows him a mare. 'Nithe horth.' says the dwarf, 'Can I thee her eyeth?' So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. 'Nithe eyeth.', say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there was this recently separated guy...

So there was this recently separated good looking guy, he was just driving to the movies to watch a film that he’d been waiting to see for ages. Anyhow, as he crosses a junction in the road a car came flying out and t-boned him good. ‘Christ sake’ he thought to himself, ‘I’m just getting over losing...

I could lose weight...

But I hate losing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a casino

He stays there the whole day and he's always losing. The next day he comes once again and loses everything. The third day he does the same and the dealer asks him what his job was so he could afford to lose so much money and he says that earning money has to do with personality. He says: "I for exam...

Whats the real problem of losing a thumb?

You actually lose the middle finger

An elderly man and his wife are losing their memory

An elderly man and his wife are losing their memory. Fearful that they may be developing early signs of dementia, Alzheimers, or the like, they speed off to their doctor. The doctor gives them a thorough examination and says, "Honestly, you are both in great shape and should take pride in your physi...

My doctor informed me that I’m losing my sight.

I didn’t see it coming.

My buddy is really upset at losing a promotion at work to an attractive, older woman.

I said, “Don’t cry over skilled MILF.”

My Mate was losing his hair and was really embarrassed by it.

I said to him don't worry mate i have a solution, intrigued and exited by this, he said what is the solution?: I said put Rabbits on your head. Is this a special cure he asked?

I said no, but from a distance they will look like Hares:

The bear in our local zoo is losing his eyesight, so the zookeeper decided to try some prescription glasses on him.

It’s quite a grizzly spectacle.

I hate how my British friends make fun of Americans for losing an entire country to a bunch of rice farmers.

But then I tell them they lost an entire subcontinent to a guy who wouldn't eat.

One good thing about getting old and losing memory.

I can hide my own Easter eggs.

My French Coach taught me all I needed to know about losing...

Remember you can’t spell “we” without ‘i’

Now run.

A man was suing an airline for losing his luggage

Unfortunately he lost his case

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game.

It hurt a lot, but at least my dad came.

An Australian is losing badly against a Czechoslovakian in a chess championship match and asks him what country he is from.

The Czechoslovakian wins and replies:
“Czech, mate.”

A human losing weight is like an atom losing electrons

Everything is positive after that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandpa was complaining about how participation trophies reward losing

So I asked him why he proudly displayed a Confederate Flag

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man suspects that his wife may be losing her hearing

He knows his wife doesn't want to accept the fact that she is getting older and isn't as youthful as she used to be. So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it.

Man: Doc, I think my wife may be losing her hearing. Is there anything I can do for her?

Docto...

4 doctors from a hospital are having a meeting about a certain ICU

Doctor 1: I don't know if you fellas noticed, but we've been losing a lot of patients in that room.

Doctor 2: I've noticed that too, and is always at 10am.

Doctor 3: Yes, what's up with that? I lost three people who had very good chances of recovery, alwalys at 10am.

Doctor 4:...

Pilot: Ladies and gentleman, I have to inform you we are losing altitude

(pause)

And the reason we are losing altitude is because we are about to land.

(Jesus Christ, funny pilots...)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Losing my virginity was like how I learned to ride a bike

My dad having a firm grip on my shoulders

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't feel bad about losing your virginity ladies.

At least you still have the box it came in.

So did you hear the one about the guy that would scream and yell about losing his foot?

Turns out on top of being diabetic he was lacktoes intolerant

Why were the British salty about losing America?

They got tea-bagged

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friends say I get sadistic when I’m losing at Scrabble

But I made them eat their words

The pain of losing a sock is....

unpairable.

Losing a rifle in the army can get you a fine over over £500

I am starting to finally understand why navy captains go down with the ship

Losing a wife can be hard.

In some cases, impossible.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.