What's a way to tell that someone is sleep deprived?

Sorry I thought this was AskReddit

I'm a 50 y/o woman and without a hair saloon I'm turning grey. This deprives me of my dignity.

I think I'll have to dye alone.

The snake in the desert

N.B. The joke only works if you use American pronunciation, but it's a long joke and I didn't want people to get to the end and complain there's no punchline.

A man named Steve is stuck in a dead end job, 9-5, 7 days a week in a little run down office in the middle of town. He hates it and h...

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A disheveled man with a shrunken head walks into a bar.

After a few drinks he starts to relax, so the curious bartender feels comfortable enough to inquire about the man's tiny noggin.

"Sorry to be intrusive.. but how did you end up with such a tiny head?" Asks the bartender.

The man replies: "I was the captain of an elite naval vessel pat...

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Sand paper sally

So a guy gets out of prison. He has been locked up about 15 years but the day has finally come and he is loving life.
He gets released and has the clothes on his back and give dollars to his name.
Above all else, before food, lodging, anything. This man wants some pussy.
So, he goes to a br...

Why was the delinquent astronaut sleep deprived all the way to Mars?

He was waiting for night to go to sleep.

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.

You understand it better, but it dies in the process.



See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how y...

Steve Harvey follows in George Foreman's footsteps and starts a kitchen appliances brand

His first item: the Stove Harvey.

^^Sorry ^^its ^^5AM ^^and ^^I've ^^been ^^awake ^^since ^^2AM ^^writing ^^a ^^10 ^^page ^^essay ^^and ^^am ^^trying ^^to ^^procrastinate. ^^I'm ^^sleep ^^deprived ^^and ^^this ^^is ^^funny. ^^I'll ^^let ^^myself ^^out...

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A city doctor is deployed in a tribal area.

After six months of serving there,he is sexually deprived. He finally opens up to a villager he had befriended.

he asks, "Here aren't any women. How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"


"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."


The next ...

An Australian asks a travel agent what's the cheapest possible vacation to London that lets him see everything.

"I have a whole evening in Dubai on the way back? Very well, I've always wanted to see the world's tallest building." He packs his bag, wakes up at 6, rushes to the airport, takes off at 9, crosses Pacific 14 hours nonstop, runs to his connection, flies 10 more hours and never slept a wink cause of ...

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A ship goes out to sea and crashes.

6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island.
Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they come to this agreement.
All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. ...

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A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..

She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from sex.

The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in inte...

How do ghosts become friends?

They bond over boos.





I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. I am sorry.

One Day at Work...

...a man hears a Ghostly Voice speak to him: "Quit your job, sell your car, sell your house, take the money and go to Vegas..."

Figuring he was just sleep deprived, he ignored the Voice, but the next morning, he heard the same voice: "Quit your job, sell your car, sell your house, clear out y...

A good businessman

There was this successful businessman who not only had loads of cash, but he was a genuinely good person. He had a charity which was truly non-profit, he helped impoverished communities, he lived frugally and didn’t overtly display his wealth.

His one ‘vice’ was his Harley. He loved ridin...

Village Atheist

In a small village in the middle of the countryside, there is only one atheist. He sells insurance for a living. But, he grows old and one day gets really sick. On his death bed, he calls for the village priest, who is obviously a very devout catholic.

They talk for an entire day, and during ...

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Tom the soldier in the desert.

An army is in the desert for several upcoming months.
The sergeant tells his troops: "Well, I know the climate is harsh and that you won't have a lot of entertainment here as there is no women. But, in case you cannot stand the pressure anymore, you will be allowed to take the camel behind this ...

A Chinese man dies and leaves behind his wife...

She absolutely refuses to accept his death and travels far and wide to find someone who can bring him back from the dead.

Finally she finds someone who can do it and his lifeless body is once again living and breathing. She says "Honey I couldn't let you go."


He sighs deeply and s...

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Funny but old fake adopt an Enron Exec email from way back.

Remember that whole Enron Scandal? I was looking through some old computer back up disks and found this. Probably wont be funny to younger kids but some old farts like me might get a chuckle:


**Adopt an Enron Executive**

Dear kind-hearted friends...Now that the holiday season has p...

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A man is stranded in a desert...

...for several days with his camel. He is tired and he has almost given up all hope. He is also sexually deprived and wants to fuck someone. He decides to have sex with his camel.

So he mounts and gets into position. But the camel shakes him off and runs away. The tired man runs and catches ...

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