Get yourself a duck of about 1.5 to 2kg, and two large bottles of Scottish whisky, bacon strips and a bottle of olive oil.
Put the bacon around the duck, and treat the inside with pepper and salt.
Preheat the oven for 10 minutes at 180 degrees Celcius.
Fill a large glass with wh...
A drunk man staggers into an empty church. He looks right. He looks left. When he spots the big crucifix in the middle, he makes his way down the center aisle, muttering under his breath. Finally, when he's right underneath it, he waves his bottle around and starts screaming at it.
"YOU! S'all YOUR fuggin' fault!" he screams. "I los' ma job, ma wife lef' me, ma kids ran 'way, and today ma dog died! Jus' you wait! I'ma come back with ma shotgun and give ya what for!"
And then he leaves, cursing and shouting all the way.
Meanwhile, the priest has been hiding in the...
Have you ever thought of an awesome joke but had to race the final 1% of your battery to post it?
Back when I had an Android I sure did but look at me now, my iPhone still has 27% lef........
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