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Indoors Jokes

Why did the sweeping brush stay indoors?

Cos it wanted to stay at broom temperature!

What do you call a rabbit that's raised indoors?

An in-grown hare!:)

What did the emergency dispatcher say when they were asked if they worked indoors or outdoors?

"911 is an inside job"

I saw a guy wearing glasses indoors.

He looked a little shady.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A singer is holding a concert indoors.

While doing so, he feels the urge to defecate. As soon as he finishised the piece, he excuses himself upstairs.

He notices the WC has the hole continue indefinitely instead of curving, but doesn't worry too much. He does his buisness and goes downstairs.

There, everybody is running awa...

In some places in America, you can still eat indoors in restaurants...

You have to wear a mask when you walk in. Once you are seated you can take off your mask.

Isn't that a bit like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

They say opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck,

but I think if it's raining indoors you've probably already had some bad luck.

Haven't seen this on here before and it made me chuckle so here.
credit Jimmy Carr

When I was sitting indoors I wondered what did my parents did during the SARS outbreak without internet

I asked my 16 brothers and sisters and they couldn’t think of anything either

I've got a good one, but make sure you're indoors before you read it.

It's an inside joke.

What kind of vegetable do people farm indoors after it rains?

Leaks

They say sitting all day is the new smoking, so I make sure to get up and walk outside each hour

They don’t let me take smoke breaks indoors anyway

I went on a blind date yesterday.

She seemed like a nice girl at first. Since I’m a big animal lover I really appreciated her bringing her dog.

But I just can’t see myself with someone who wears sunglasses indoors, that’s just rude...

I had been digging for a long time today.

Down in the hole I found a box full of Silver coins!
In the excitement I ran back indoors to tell my wife.
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole...

I like people like I like COVID 19

They're the reason I stay indoors all the time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do black people wear hoodies more than white people?

Black people wear them outdoors, on the streets while white people wear them indoors at their weekly meetings.

the puppy test

Before you get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wee...

Why don't black guys get sunburnt?

Prisons are indoors

What is the best part of Pokemon Go?

I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.

A guy takes his family to see monkeys in a zoo...

Unfortunately, the monkeys are indoors furiously mating. The guy asks the keeper, ''Would they come out for a few nuts?'' The keeper replied, ''Would you? ''

Why do gingers get sunburned so easily?

It's nature's way of telling us to lock them indoors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman contacts her brother-in-law last minute to ask him to watch her daughter for the day...

The brother-in-law, Tim, grudgingly agrees. He picks the girl up and takes her down to the shoreline where he works.

"Do you know what I do for a living?"

She nods. "You're a fisherman, right?"

"Well, kind of. See, we get a lot of fish around here, and in order to catch as ma...

A cargo airplane is transporting patients from a mental hospital.

The patients are going all crazy in the cargo playing a soccer with an invisible ball. The pilot has had enough of it, tells the copilot to guide the plane, and goes in the back to make them stop the noise. They stop, the pilot returns to the cabin, but after 5 minutes, it starts all over again.
...

An Italian man and his wife had three children...

The two oldest were playing football while the other slept indoors. The man said, "My love, are you sure Ricky is my son? His brothers are athletic but him...not so much."

"Yes, my love."

A decade later the oldest brothers graduated college, one becoming an engineer and the other a doc...

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine...

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine who was keen to show me his private collection of rare tree and plant species. I wasn’t particularly interested but I went along anyway because he was really excited to show me the newest addition to his collection.
“It’s a unique species of oak...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three homeless guys are looking for a place to sleep for the night

(It's a long one but bear with it).

The first guy comes across a dumpster in an alleyway, he decides it's too cold to keep looking and climbs inside.

The second guy walks to the end of the alleyway and finds an abandoned car, he gets to work on picking the lock as he decides that's whe...

A young man once loved tractors

He had his dream job on a farm and had memorabilia all over his home. One day the young man receives his copy of tractor monthly and sees that an international tractor convention will be coming to town.

The young man works harder than ever all month in order to fulfil his dream of owning a t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently sailed around the world on one of those “once in a lifetime” cruises.

The cruise was scheduled to take 6 months, visit all 7 continents, and make port calls in over 30 different cities. I was very excited and could not wait.

The cruise began with several uneventful stops along the gulf off Mexico and down the Eastern side of South America. As we neared the sout...

a flea goes into a travel agency...

a flea goes into a travel agency and says, “oh i’ve been working so hard for the last few years, i really need a holiday.”

travel agent asks, “what kinda holiday were you in the market for?”

flea says, “i want to go somewhere bright and sunny, somewhere that i can just relax and enjoy ...

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