UPJOKE
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Alright, screw it... here is my contribution to this sub. This is a joke from my HS days that, whomever I've shared it with, has had a healthy roar. Hope ya'll like it.

A man and his gf go into a bar. He walks over to grab a table and she heads straight for the bar. While she's waiting for their drinks, this absolutely hammered guy a few feet away leans over to her and goes: I just wanna tell you, you have an incredible rack on you.
She responds: Look pal, I'...

I’m glad that I learned about parallelograms in HS math instead of how to do my tax return.

It comes in so handy during parallelogram season.

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Bully in HS

High School Principal calls for the father to come to school one morning and he doesn't quite understands what would be the reason...

Getting there, he starts complaining with the receptionist about why he was called to go there.

Dad: Lady, I don't know why the principal called me here...

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A psychiatrist is making hs rounds in a mental hospital

He comes to the first room and sees the patient standing on his bed and swinging an imaginary bat. He asks the patient what he’s doing. The patient says “I’m not going to be here forever, so when I get better I want to be a baseball player” The doctor says that’s good to have a goal, and moves to th...

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I got invited to my first HS party...

ten years too late, fuck you all i'm not going to the reunion, get bent.

"Doctor, I can't pronounce my Fs, my Ts or my Hs."

"Well you can't say fairer than that then."


(it's an old Tommy Cooper joke, no credit to me)

A man and hs dog sit at the bar....

...bartender says "sorry, but no dogs allowed at the bar". The gentleman responds "no no, you don't understand, this is a TALKING dog, he should definitely be allowed to sit at the bar"

"Talking dog you say" says the bartender, stroking his chin. "Prove it"

"Okay! Hey Oscar, what sound...

My HS Chemistry teacher told us how to remember the periodic symbols for Silver and Gold-

If someone tried to steal your silver, you'd say A G, I lost my silver. But if someone tried to steal your gold, you'd say A U! Give me back my gold!

High in High School

A friend loved to get baked everyday when we were in HS.

His parents were very strict, so I asked how he always got away with it.

No problem, he said, I just never let them see me not high.

A Muslim man came to the USA many years ago.

He found love, got married and had a son.

The son eventually graduated University, found a wife, got married and moved away for job reasons.

Unfortunately, one day the old man's wife passes away, leaving him alone in his house with a huge garden.

After a lot of grief, the man ...

A Group of Basic Girls Will Have a Higher Concentration of HOs.

However, a group of acidic girls will have a higher concentration of Hs.

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The King of all the gorillas was having a yard sale

The king of all the gorillas, mister Kong, was having a yard sale. He decided to sell his items collected over the years of roaming in the forests. He had been lowering his sale prices over the course of the day as fewer and fewer people were coming by.

Finally, one passer by came to buy his...

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