Once a man met the great chessmaster Gary Kasparov on a plane seat beside him

The grandmaster says "would u like to play a game of chess for a $100 per game?" The man replies "I know who you are mate I would never be able to beat you". Gary thinks a bit and says "I will play with my left hand" the man accepts.


Afterwards when he recites his story to his wife he sa...

They didn’t remove the right one.

Request: Little brother was just diagnosed with testicular cancer. Lefty is a goner, but as the older brother, I feel the obligation to have some good jokes ready to help him feel better. Unfortunately the title is as good as funny as I get, so please help a brother out. Thanks.
Edit he’s in his ...

There's this new guy on my bowling team. His name is Frank, and he's a really nice guy and an excellent bowler, but there's just one thing about him.

At the end of every game, Frank says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late." The rest of us guys find it really annoying. He almost always shows up right on time, but still, he always says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late."

One day we decided that we wanted to find out why he alw...

Righty tighty, lefty loosey

Is what I'm hoping is true whenever I use Tinder

Why you should always have a lefty girlfriend?

Righty, tighty....lefty, loosie.

A man and his wife are laying in bed.

The wife says, “If I die, will you ever remarry?”
The man says, “Of course not. You’re the only person I love.”
Five minutes pass and she asks again, “Are you sure you wouldn’t remarry?”
The man visibly annoyed says, “Fine! Maybe after a few years I’d remarry.”
“Would you buy a new bed o...

How does someone with a prostethic hand tell the difference between left and right?

Righty tighty, lefty loosy.

A dumb man is seated next to the world chess champion in a flight.

And the world champion asks the dumb fellow if he’d like to play a game of chess to pass the time.

The dumb fellow politely denies saying he can’t compete with a world champion.

The world master insists. But the guy refuses.

The world master proposes to level the field by promis...

A wife was struggling opening a water bottle and asked the husband for help, "Are you turning the cap right?" He asked. "Of course!" she said.

She doesn't understand Lefty is loosey and Righty is tighty

What is the difference between reddit and a homeplate umpire?

One pitches lefty views, and the other views lefty pitches.

Gary kasparov (chess master) was sitting next to me in a plane.

He wanted to play chess with me.
I was like " come on Gary, u r like this world champion player... U will beat me in less than 10 moves. "

Gary replied, " I'll play with my left hand"

" That sounds fair" I said. And we played.
I don't know how but Gary beat me in 7 moves. I was...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three male coworkers are upset to find that the fourth member of their weekly golf outing will no longer be joining them...

...a female coworker overhears their plight and asks if she can join. The men are hesitant, but in the name of equality they decide to allow it.

"We like to take our time, so we start early," says one of the men.

"No worries," says the woman, "I'll be there at 7:30 or 8:00."

S...

Never date a left-handed woman. You know what they say...

Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey

I won $100 on a radio competition this morning.

The DJ called me and said, “We are going live in a few seconds, I’m going to ask you what you’re going to spend your money on and I want you to tell the listeners on air.”
“Okay” I replied.
He said, “3…2….1….. Congratulations to Lefty, our competition winner, what are you going to spend the ...

I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous.

It's just a shame I'm a lefty.

two ladies were sitting in a bar...

the one on the left was lovely, kind and beautiful
the one on the right was very attractive, smart, and attentive
both of the women were hitting on me all nite which one did i take home?

the one on the right because lefty loosy righy tighty

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two butt cheeks are having an argument

and the left cheek says something really offensive to the right. As the right cheek looks away from his (once) friend in sadness, Lefty realizes what he's done, and attempts to make amends.

"We should stick together. We can't let all this crap come between us!"

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