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Left Handed Jokes

What's ironic about having a left handed pen

It's for righting.

Why are North Koreans always left handed?

Because they have no rights.

Never argue with left handed people

Because they are never right

I never date left handed women

Righty Tighty

Lefty Loosey

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I think wanking left handed is hard.

But on the other hand,

Left handed people in the past.

Why did people back in the day not accept left handed people?

Because it wasn't right.

I'm sorry bye.

What did Jim Carrey say when he wasn’t allowed to have a left handed baseball player on his team?

Allllllllllll righty then!

What does a left handed person and Netflix have in common?

They can't do anything Right.

Why do left handed people always write incorrectly?

Their right hand has nothing left and their left hand has nothing right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Left handed

The mafia boss was pissed that his captain Alphonse's mistake costed him $5M.

Fearing wrath, Alphonse pleaded - Boss, spare me and don't kill me. I have worked here for 8 years.

The boss said - Alright Alphonse. I spare you. I don't kill left handed man.

Confused Alphonse said ...

she's left handed

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "...

My grandpa told me this one.

So an older couple is discussing the inevitable matter of death. The wife asks her husband, "If I die before you do, will you remarry?" To which the husband replies, "Well, I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life, so yes." The wife then asks, "What about the house? Will you live in the...

I made a sideshow of guessing whether you're right or left handed just by asking your favorite color.

I'm very proud of my 90% success rate.

Being left handed I was always told I was more creative but all I noticed was that I smudge the words when writing with pencil.

I guess it’s a blessing and a cursive

A wife asks her husband if she were to die, would he remarry?...

...and her husband says "yes I would remarry I like living a married life and spending time with someone else. The wife gets uncomfortable and proceeds to ask " well would you let her live in our house?" And the husband says "yes I'd let her live here there's nothing wrong with this house." That wor...

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