Left Handed Jokes - 15 Hilarious Left Handed Jokes

Why are North Koreans always left handed?

Because they have no rights.

upvote

downvote

report

What's ironic about having a left handed pen

It's for righting.

upvote

downvote

report

I never date left handed women

Righty Tighty

Lefty Loosey

upvote

downvote

report

Never argue with left handed people

Because they are never right

upvote

downvote

report

What did Jim Carrey say when he wasn’t allowed to have a left handed baseball player on his team?

Allllllllllll righty then!

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I think wanking left handed is hard.

But on the other hand,

What does a left handed person and Netflix have in common?

They can't do anything Right.

upvote

downvote

report

Left handed people in the past.

Why did people back in the day not accept left handed people?

Because it wasn't right.

I'm sorry bye.

upvote

downvote

report

Why do left handed people always write incorrectly?

Their right hand has nothing left and their left hand has nothing right.

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Left handed

The mafia boss was pissed that his captain Alphonse's mistake costed him $5M.

Fearing wrath, Alphonse pleaded - Boss, spare me and don't kill me. I have worked here for 8 years.

The boss said - Alright Alphonse. I spare you. I don't kill left handed man.

Confused Alphonse said ...

My grandpa told me this one.

So an older couple is discussing the inevitable matter of death. The wife asks her husband, "If I die before you do, will you remarry?" To which the husband replies, "Well, I don't want to be lonely for the rest of my life, so yes." The wife then asks, "What about the house? Will you live in the...

upvote

downvote

report

she's left handed

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "...

upvote

downvote

report

I made a sideshow of guessing whether you're right or left handed just by asking your favorite color.

I'm very proud of my 90% success rate.

upvote

downvote

report

Being left handed I was always told I was more creative but all I noticed was that I smudge the words when writing with pencil.

I guess it’s a blessing and a cursive

upvote

downvote

report

A wife asks her husband if she were to die, would he remarry?...

...and her husband says "yes I would remarry I like living a married life and spending time with someone else. The wife gets uncomfortable and proceeds to ask " well would you let her live in our house?" And the husband says "yes I'd let her live here there's nothing wrong with this house." That wor...

upvote

downvote

report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.